Wow, this was amazing :) I just sat down and read the whole thing in one go! I laughed so much reading this, but the ending made me so sad :( Looking forward to reading the sequel, it's been ages since I read a fanfic that was so realistic and so well written. Definitely 10/10 and adding to my favourites :) Thanks! Report Review
This is a wonderful story about James and Lily. Awesome job! Report Review
Lovely story, I really enjoyed it. While the ending was bittersweet, it makes sense for the characters. And yay! sequel! *runs off to read* Report Review
I get tingles from reading this.
Do you know how bad it is to fall in love with a fictional character?
Why does James have to be so perfect? Report Review
super cliched but so amazingly written! i adored it! i love how you showed them being in a bit of a bind and not perfect as everyone perceives them to be :) i can't wait to read the sequel too...awesome job!
( i also liked how the secondary characters had such a huge story even though you used so few words to describe them...it was easy to derive a picture from the whole thing)
on the whole.great job! you turned a cliche into a great story!Author's Response: glad to hear my cliche wasn't so cliche! I really like how you put it that way :) and it's so great to hear that you liked the story.
I really appreciate the review! thanks again :)
~EBP Report Review
I-it-wow. I love it! I procrastinatwe study to read all of this! In fairness, I am generally pretty good at procrastinating but still, this is amazing!!Author's Response: hahaha I do the exact same thing :) procrastinate studying and read HPFF!! and thanks so much for reading!
~EnnaBellaPotter Report Review
Aah, I loved it! This was an absolutely amazingly written story! It was happy, funny, adorable, romantic and just a little sad at the end! Great job, and I look forward to reading the sequel!Author's Response: aw :) thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. the sequel's up now! more to come soon, I promise.
thanks again for the review!
~EnnaBellaPotter Report Review
where. is. the. sequel.
i wanna know what happens.Author's Response: the. sequel. is. now. up.
you can now know what happens!
thanks for the review :)
~EBP Report Review
Finally!! You did it at just the right time too, because I was almost at the point of getting bored by Lily's internal debate. I LOVE your story! I'm not sure if you've written other stories but I will read them if you have cause I just love how you write!Author's Response: haha why thank you :) I think I ended it at the right time, too!
and I have indeed written other stories- there's a sequel up to Stupid now, as well. hope you'll check it out!
thanks so much for the review!
~EBP Report Review
I canít believe Iím here at the end. What a wonderful story overall. Youíve actually made me like Lily/James. Of course Iíve always known that they were canon but my heart went out to the bittersweetness of Lily/Sev. Plus most authors Iíve read made these two so clichť and so sickening that it was hard to swallow them. But here, youíve got the love/hate, the imperfect Lily, the imperfect James who sees his flaws and youíve got bonus awesome Sirius. This has turned out to be such a cute and fluffy story.
I love how youíve started out this chapter from Jamesí POV. While Iíve come to appreciate him through Lilyís eyes, itís nice to see it from his POV.
Except now that I continue readingÖgar, maybe you arenít going to give us a happy ending.
Ah, the point where heís choosing between his friendís secret and his love for Lily. I like how youíre dragging it out. My Angst Monster is chomping away happily. Especially with your descriptions of Jamesí heartbreak.
Except, quite honestly, this turn from Lily seems sudden. Like she would really decide not to be with him because he was gone three nights and the first time she confronts him he wonít tell her? Iíd think sheíd give him more of a chance to try to explain and then heíd fail and then sheíd break up with him.
Regardless of all that, I look forward to reading the sequel. Youíve come a ways since the first chapters of this story and I love how your descriptions have become that much moreÖdescriptive (sorry, not feeling terribly vocabularized at the moment). I hope that we take it from Jamesí POV too as well. Or you can do the omniscient sort of 3rd person. I like that too.
Anyway, well done on completing this! :) :) :)
xCharAuthor's Response: once again, a huge apology for the lateness of this reply. but I simply can't NOT reply to your amazing words.
I can't believe I made you like Lily/James!! not only is that an astounding thing to hear, but I can't really understand why you didn't like them before- seeing as I'm sort of diehard Lily/James :)
thank you very much for your critique on Lily 'turning' quite so quickly. when I come back to this story to revise, I'll definitely look back at that, because I agree with you. unfortunately, I was sort of straining for a reason for them to break up (I'm a horrible pesron, I know) and I just had to go with it! but I'll defintiely be taking your suggestion to heart.
once again, thanks for the amazing review(s)! you make me smile and laugh :) the sequel's up so I might be checking out your thread to see it you're still open!!
EnnaBellaPotter Report Review
Oh look, Lily is ready to just about give it all up. Her journal/diary. A girlís most precious thing. That really does show love and care there. How sweet that sheís even thinking with that.
And then this moment when James gives her the necklace. Itís beautifully done. Lily has come a far way. She was snarky a little, sarcastic and hella nervous a lot of the time and clumsy but she did everything just right here. She really made it a beautiful moment in telling James that she loved him.
And Jamesí little story of buying that for her when he was twelve! How precious is that? Too precious, really. I canít even imagine any twelve-year-old acting like that these days but James is of a different cut, ainít he.Author's Response: it's taken me years to reply. I'm sorry!!
I feel like your description of Lily is very poetic as well! haha :) I couldn't have said it better myself.
I really love reading (and re-reading at this point) what you have to say about Stupid. thanks so much!
~EBP Report Review
The extra bits about how to do transfiguration was a very nice touch. Made the story seem more authentic.
Ah, and now we have Jamesí other activities starting to catch up to him. He must be struggling over telling Lily. Obviously, by the time Harry is born, she knows but how do they get over this little hump here.
I am a piano player and I can appreciate Lilyís own passion for it. Playing the piano is so satisfying and its true that thereís this magic to it. Itís a feeling. I love art and music and playing. It can really transform one and take one someplace else to be.
What a nice touch to put a past incident there that showed just how much James really did care. Also smart of you not to have James call it the Room of Requirement since it doesnít necessarily announce itself that way.
Oh geez. Teenage hormones everywhere people.
And also cuteness. Very nice. (Iím sorry Iíve stopped the spelling and grammar critique but now I just want to reach the end of this adorable story and see where you leave off.)Author's Response: wow. I did a super-great job of replying to your reviews.
but I appreciate them so much. they are so thorough and helpful. thank you thank you thank you!
I'm glad the transifguration felt authentic- I was worried it wouldn't!
ooh I'm glad you seemed to really connect to the piano playing part. that's really good to hear from an actual piano-player's point of view (seeing as I don't play it!).
so, again, THANK YOU. you're amazing!
~EBP Report Review
This story is so fluffy. So fluffy I could die. Really.
her mind about [em] or anything - me
I like Charlotte. (And not just because of her name) Sheís catty but nice at the same time and a loyal friend in addition to being beautiful and a boy-hog at times :P
And I canít believe the teachers! Such gossipers and secret romantics the lot of them!
I didnít feel it was ]appropriate to mention - youíve got a lose bracket in there
Aw, look at these two. Plus look at how flowerly Lily is getting in her language. Sheís gone from this analytical, very confused and logical girl to this. Itís adorable really and beautifully done. Plus you do these kissing scenes so well. It isnít like ďthey snoggedĒ but something thatís emotional and heartfelt. Report Review
Oh, oh, oh. Itís just so perfect. I love James now. I seriously do. Heís so cute. Heís so adorable and in love and nice. Your James is making his home next to Peeta in my heart.
The inside  my head wallowed - [of]
And Iím back to loving Sirius. Seriously (I had to mentally rein myself in from making the pun, I really did), your Sirius is one of the best Siriusís Iíve read on the Archives. I know that heís only been in a few scenes but youíve got the arrogance, good-looks and trickster attitude we know of from canon and then added in that bit of heart that just makes him a good guy. Itís really nice to read. And he hugs. I love hugs.
The only one [Iwant]†to kiss.Ē† - SPACE
I love that James kissed those other girls because they reminded him of Lily. Nice. And this scene and story in the woods. Wonderful. Gawd, Iím like drowning in beautiful sappiness. Report Review
Then I was like, ďLILY! NoO!Ē but alas, she did not here me in her foolish cowardliness.
From such chaos emerged three beautiful people.†/Oh, and me.† -made me laugh.
After we were finished dressing and I these three - are we missing a word somewhere or something because this didnít quite make sense.
generally astounded at just [howgreat]†everyone looked. - make a space
I loved how you described Lily. She sounds beautiful.
Which left me [left me] little choice - extra
I canít [ ] Sirius because - 1) I canít believe you actually used that line. 2) missing [be]
And I see where Harry gets his equilibrium sometimes, from his dad because his mum certainly doesnít have it, as we have come to know.
painfully aware that I had†[stillneglected] - add space
ALHWEOIJULDJF:LSDK! I was reading the entire exchange in the last, knowing what she was going to do yet still feeling my heart pounding, my skin tingling and willing it to happen. So wonderfully done. I loved it. (I think from now on, my reviews are just going to be squeeing and fixing grammatical/spelling errors. Youíve reduced me to this.) :P Report Review
As I mentioned before, Iím determined to read the rest of this.
So, like, Iíve totally noticed that your writing of descriptions has gotten like super good. (feel free to ignore my weirdness). But seriously, this moment in the Owlery where Lily is just enjoying the moment, it was beautifully written and made me a part of the moment.
Until Sirius came in.
would only [brought] on a stronger deluge of mockery - should be ďbringĒ
But when the crowd parted for a second, he saw [you] face. - your (you do it again a couple more lines down)
Oh. There she is. - I. LOVE. IT. I love it! I love love ♥ love ♥ love ♥ the simplicity of it!! Because love shouldnít be this whole complicated convoluted thing. It should be this. Are you a Doctor Who fan? More to the point, are you a Doctor/Rose fan? Because this is comparable to that statement he made in an episode about his love for Rose: ďOh, she knows.Ē Itís lovely.
And I love Sirius :) Oh man, normally Sirius is just this snobby and too aware of how good-looking he is boy in Marauder stories but here, heís a friend. Still the snobby, too aware of how good-looking he is boy, but mostly a friend. And a good guy. And awesome.
I pause on the steps towards the courtyard, - add [d]
Whatever courage had found [homage] - um, this word doesnít really fit. Maybe just leave it at ďhomeĒ. ďHomageĒ means pay respect, revere, etc.
When you have someone speaking for several paragraphs and he ends his speech and starts his speech in the next one, you donít need to close the previous paragraph with quotations. It makes it so you know that the same guy is talking.
And I like James. Heís a good guy and pretty loyal too and forthright. I love forthright. Report Review
Gar. Youíve made me so interested that Iím going to finish the rest of this story. :) Plus I like reviewing stories that are completed because then Iím not left hanging.
Aw, look at Lily blab on about the dance. Itís so cute and I love her descriptions.
Every previous uncertainty [ ] about dances you flew out the window the moment you walked in. - [you had]?
I too often [I] got locked in his eyes by accident. - perhaps take this extra ďIĒ out
a maroon-and-[hold] woolen scarf - [gold]
I am having spasms about your descriptions right now. Like this: The bitter cold accompanying February made a dignified appearance on the Quidditch pitch, - so nicely done.
*Gasp* The stickler for rules Lily is lying to Madame Pomfrey? What has this world come to? Oh, wait, isnít this girl in LURVE!?!?
ďYouíre worried about [you]†image!Ē† - your
ďWell,Ē [H]e stated simply.† - non-capitalized
I loved how you made Lily confess to James! It was so NOT clichť in a story filled with familiar ones (in a good way) that it just makes me smile. I mean, come on. She just confessed to him at the Infirmary. I was so sure youíd do it at the Ball and now Iím so glad that you didnít! It was also really well done because we still donít quite know what James thinks about it. Oh, the suspense! Report Review
Hello! Back again to review this Stupid story :P Sorry, I just had to slip that in there!
Boys try ridiculously hard to hide the fact that a ball is just as big of a deal for them as it is for the girls. - SO TRUE! I always kind of watched the boys at my school around parties like this that would come up and even though itís organized by the school, theyíre still excited enough yet trying not to show it. Iím sure they do their own share of squealing in the privacy of their room.
ďOf course thereís a difference! Now did he say†will you go†or†are you going?Ē - Again, SO TRUE! What did you do? Just eavesdrop on people around when the prom was coming up? And then go to ten different schools only to find out that literally EVERYONE says the same thing eventually?
for the Head Boy and Head Girl to commence the night by taking the first dance together.† - OK, really? This is clichť. But I understand. Itís needed. But still. But whatever, your story isnít some scarily indie type of story where in order to make it different you would need to have Lily end up with someone else and then die and get with James as a ghost or something and capture the whole thing on a shaky camera (and donít even THINK with stealing that plot bunny! Yeah, Iím looking at you *points at screen*).
Ha! Found my first spelling/grammar to correct (though I suspect I ainít going to find a lot this timeÖyouíre eye seems to have become sharper there, youngíun): couldnít have very well said ď[o]h, so sorry - capitalize the ďoĒ
accumulate  back of y neck - missing [on] in the first brackets and then [m] in the second.
just the way Iíd come to [and] love - the [and] seems extra
It was the Potter [affect], plain and simple. An [affect] to - both of these should be [effect]. The other word means something other than what youíre trying to say. This also happens later in the story.
Iím pretty sure  was beginning to hyperventilate. - missing [I]
Let me comment at this point on the fact that your description has improved quite nicely in this chapter. I donít know if I mentioned it before because I am far too lazy to look back at the moment, but there was a tendency to lack slightly on description but now, Iím awash in it (in a good way). You are also using the effect of ďsuspenseĒ quite nicely in how youíve led up to this moment where James is taking Lily into his arms and sheís starting to go into a panic attack (which is quite fun to read, btw).
And youíre using analogies! I love analogies! I felt his heartbeat in his fingers, radiating towards me like a sound wave from a radio.† - nice.
Gosh, your details in this whole dancing thing is amazing. Almost makes me wish my school had taught us ballroom. You familiar with it other than researchís sake? Because itís well described here.
I love Lily. I seriously do. Sheís so funny and panicked right now that Iím really just enjoying her embarrassment. How she compares what is actually going through her head to what she hopes is being shown as going through her head just before the liftÖso priceless.
Any accidental contact sets [of] fireworks across my skin. - [off]
Ah, I love it. I love Lily. James seems nice but I donít have the same connection to him that I do to Lily, mainly because Iím living in her head, you know? From what I know of James, he seems to be a good guy and especially deserving of this love. This is such cute fluff.
:) Char Report Review
This story was SO GOOD. The idea behind it was beautiful. The plot was just...amazing. I adored the ending, even though they did break up. That's what I love about Lily/James fics. Even if they break up, I KNOW that they'll get back together. I mean if they didn't...well, there wouldn't be any Harry Potter, now would there? I did love the way you ended it, though, with James writing in the journal, which is what I presume the sequel will be about? I'm going to go ahead and take a wild guess at what James' secret is...is it Remus' furry little problem? And the whole animagi thing? I can't wait till the sequel is out! :D Report Review
Quick question: I thought the ball was supposed to be in February, but now it is the first of December and the ball has already passed haha? Not a big deal, just a little confusing!
Once again, great chapter! I love how you don't just have them shagging each other left and right even though they share a dormitory. It seems much more natural the way they interact than the way other authors portray their relationship. Love this story (even more the second time haha) and I can not WAIT for the sequel. Great job! Report Review
I must have been on a roll the first time I read your story and not stopped to review every chapter. This was amazing! I can't believe how well you portrayed Lily's relationship with Severus, and the willingness James showed to be there for her. I love your writing style and I can't wait to read the rest (again haha) Report Review
Just re-reading the story, waiting impatiently for the sequel haha. Please tell me it will be up soon!! Report Review
OMG! I LOVE THIS FANFICTION! LEGIT, ITS LIKE THE BEST JAMES/LILY! PLEASE KEEP WRITING! AND UPLOAD STUCK SOON Report Review
Hello, my name is Char and Iíll be reviewing your story (again) today. :) One day, maybe one day, I will be able to do this without having to be asked! *shakes fist at real life*
As you are already familiar with me, I do a Running Review, meaning I comment as I go along and so, with that said, the first thing I saw to comment upon was this: Though you may [seem] them every day in class - should be [see] (I always hate giving cc first so thatís why the whole long disclaimer.)
Iím really liking Lilyís voice. (I think Iíve mentioned this many times, but Iím sure you donít mind hearing it again.) Sheís dry and sheís real. Thatís what gets me most about her. Even though sheís writing in a diary, sheís really speaking to me which makes me get involved with her and her life. This incidentally, reflects on how good you are as a writer that youíre able to pull the reader in as you have done to me!
I made with him [early] this year requires me to talk to him - seems [earlier] would fit better
I like how Lily is referring to ďconfidenceĒ as something that she keeps in her pocket. :) Itís more of something I have to look around for; not something I always have on me.
equally [as] worthy boys I couldíve fancied. - delete the word, it seems unnecessary
The believability of this is something I quite like in terms of how Lily came to like and subsequently fall in love with James. Most of the Lily/James stories that Iíve read that explore this go from ďI hate himĒ to ďmaking out in the Heads Common RoomĒ without really showing how Lily softened towards him. This does much to fill in the gap and I appreciate that you take the time on it!
But you also keep Lily grounded and real (as already stated above and in earlier reviews) which makes her relatable and therefore makes her relationship with James relatable. I love her thoughts on why itís important to be on time for class. Because yes, teachers always get straight to the point *cough*not*cough*.
A ball? Really? You asked me to look out for clichťs when I first started reviewing you and I must say, a ball is an often-used plot device. BUT like I said in an earlier review, your story isnít meant to be a serious, dramatic piece that shouldnít be weighed down by the commonplace but is a lovely and light piece of romantic fluff that can totally get away with such things. PLUS you write well and the voice of Lily is fresh so I donít think Iíll be too put off by it.
Also, I was confused by the use of the term ďDecennium BallĒ because doesnít that refer to a decade? Maybe itís like the 200th Decennium Ball? Maybe youíll explain it as I read along so I should stop typing about it? Yeah, that might be goodÖ
to aim directly for the [pal] in front of your desks - pail
I really love your use of short sentences at times to make a certain point. It keeps the flow moving because Iím not weighed down by unnecessary comments or descriptions. And just clearly says whatís going through Lilyís mind: My reactions are so atrocious. - is just so a sentence that I liked.
This moment where Lily just soaked James and he just smiled at her has really just got me gushing all over James at the moment. Awww!
OMG, I would be so mortified to be doing night patrols and finding people in various degrees of dishevelment with the boy I was crushing! That would be so awkward. And on Karen, I mean, I mightíve come to the same conclusion about Lily (ha).
This sentence didnít flow well to me: We referred to the broom closets not by saying Ďthe broom closet down the hallway, you know the one a couple meters west of the staircase?í, but simply by naming the painting they were closest to. Maybe: We referred to the broom closets simply by naming the painting they were closest to, instead of Ďthe broom closet down the hallway, you know the one a couple meters west of the staircase?í.
ďI was just leaving[.]Ē He said tartly. - should be a comma [,]
but a fight was the last [things] I needed. - should just be [thing], yeah?
Aw man, I canít even believe Snape. Itís so cruel when we know that he loves Lily. But here he is pushing her away and hurting her. You did such a good job with writing Lilyís feelings. With this scene between Lily and Severus, youíve just made James more than a really hot guy but someone who Lily could actually be with because heís a good person whoíll stick by her and support her. I didnít expect to have such a serious note be brought into the story and actually work. Brilliant! Report Review
Hi! Thanks for re-requesting! It gives me a good excuse to read this instead of skipping my review thread in favor of pleasure reading (if only I could do that more often *sigh*)
On Point 8 I just have a point to make: Lily, this is something I like to call ďprevaricatingĒ.
Itís my personal pet peeve to see things like *gag* and *sigh* in stories. (Please donít point at the fact that I just did that in my first paragraph because in my rule book, such exclamations are allowed in comments and reviews. So there! *sticks out tongue*) :) So anyway, in terms of the *sigh*, you could just write ďSighĒ and it would work.
I [choose] to tolerate James Potter - should be [chose]
Ah, poor Lily, our inherently nice Head Girl just decided to bite the head off a very innocent girl. Hopefully she realizes that sheís now traumatized Hazel to a very terrifying school year. Itís those first few weeks that tell you what the rest of the year will be like.
ďyour hair reminds me of my burning passion for youĒ - Very smooth, Mr. Potter. Very very smooth. (No, seriously.) I like that itís the note that changes Lilyís viewpoint. It was a very nice note and it was a very nice gesture and since it was sincere and not one of his pick-up lines (reference: above).
Suddenly, I [was] found myself†wanting†it.† - delete extra word
hexed him to straight Madagascar - switch to ďhexed him straight to MadagascarĒ
bugger off[-]but - this should be a comma and a space [, ] (this happens again later down the line)
Oh honey, the whole description of why itís right that James is sitting next to her and theyíre not saying anything is so perfect. Itís totally something I feel with my husband, just sitting there, being and not really doing anything else. Also this: James glanced over at me, amusement unraveling across his face. - I loved how you put it as ďamusement unravelingĒ, itís a great way to put it
the peculiar way he affectedmade me do rather peculiar things. - missing [me]
on the only word  fit, after all. - missing [that]
which happens  makes me quiver - missing [to]
I love that Lily describes Jamesí eyes as Damn glimmering chestnuts. This is true win! ♥
There we go again with accidently - itís accidentally (and yes, I know that Iím reading the chapters that you wrote far before I came into the picture!
I really am enjoying seeing our studious and somewhat uptight Lily going to pieces around this boy. Your story honestly could be taken as clichť but the way you write it is refreshing; itís dry and funny and I really like how Lily pokes fun at herself.
This whole exchange between Lily and Charlotte is believable and real. I already like Charlotte (not only because of the super awesome name :P) because sheís there for Lily and though Lily expects teasing, gets the support I think the girl needs to actually fully get with James.
Sheís quite lovely and James is also growing on me (it doesnít help that Lily practically worships him now so I canít help but like him due to this story being in her POV). Aw, this story is so adorable!! *attempts to snuggle computer screen to chest and epically fails* See ya for next chapter! (As Iím sure youíll re-request or Iíll just dawdle over when I get a chance!)
xCharAuthor's Response: hi there again! and haha of course! it's MY pleasure, trust me. your reviews makehave made me smile and laugh and go "ohhh wow that's a stupid mistake" :) so THANK YOU!!!
I'm a little embarrassed to admit I just had to go look "prevaricating√É¬Ę√ā¬Ä√ā¬Ě in the dictionary...but on your point up there, I have to agree. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I have a hunch it's not good. I will look into revising Lily's prevaricating-ness.
I can definitely see why *sigh* and etc would bother- I'll change that.
yes, poor Hazel! she's probably scarred for the rest of her years at Hogwarts. stupid Lily ;)
thank you for liking the note! every time I re-read it I think it's a little strange that just a note could make Lily realize that, but you've helped me realize that it's not. thanks!!
and once again, your grammar points are ever appreciated by my lack of skill in that area.
I saw 'oh honey' and freaked out a little (just a little) because I have an art teacher at school who always says 'oh honey' when someone's done something wrong...but I'm so glad your 'oh honey' wasn't bad! I'm really happy to hear I hit the right note on that one! I just wrote it how I know I would feel in that situation- and I'm ridiculously excited to hear it even personally resonated with someone else.
haha 'damn glimmering chesnuts'- I'm always tempted to add '...on a roasting fire' :)
to be honest, I enjoy seeing Lily apart, too. it's a no-brainer that even someone like Lily Evans would eventually unravel, and to have to her do so because of James is just too perfect, at least in my mind!
you know, Charlotte happens to be one of my favorite names! it's so beautiful. and I'm relieved that the Lily/Charlotte relationship is reading well for you. I wanted Lily to have a female relationship, but one that was maybe a little unexpected- in my mind Charlotte's sort of rambunctious, almost the opposite of Lily in that sense.
HAHA I pretty much laughed out loud when I read "*attempts to snuggle computer screen to chest and epically fails*" I'm REALLY excited to be eliciting that sort of reaction!!
once again, I am EVER in your debt for your amazing comments, critiques, and editations! you are truly amazing :)
and don't worry...I'll be back to your thread before you know it!
~Emma Report Review
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