OMG Loving this story !Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you like it! Report Review
i really love Lily/Teddy ships. This story has so much promise cant wait to read more!Author's Response: Ooh! That's very rare. Thank you for the kind words! Report Review
This second chapter was so much better than the first...it has so much more emotion to it and just draws the reader in so much better. I think if you wrote the entire piece in second person it would be amaing switching between povs is slightly distracting. But its a great story!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll see what I can do to change it. Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
I haven't read much with this pairing, bit I think you'be done a great job. You said you thought got a bit repetitive, but i think what your repeated in this chpter works and helfs set the mood of the story.Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I'm glad you thought that it wasn't a bad use of repition. Thanks again! Report Review
I actually enjoyed this final chapter more. Not only were there fewer (if any at all) grammar mistakes, but I felt more emotion from Lily in this one. You show more character dimension in her than you did in the first chapter as she thinks of how she hands to let Teddy go. However, the bit that threw me was that you wrote this chapter in second person, while the first chapter was in third person. I think it should be more constant and all in one perspective. I think it should all be in second person because it worked so well in this second chapter that I think it can work wonders in improving the first chapter. But alas, it's still a good story despite the change in perspectives. Good job. (:Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! I was so afraid to try this second person POV seeing as I'd never done it before, but I'm so glad it worked out. When I come to think about it, it would make more sense if the first chapter in second person POV. I'm seriously considering changing now! Thanks so much for the lovely reviews, Leslie! Report Review
Hi there, living.free from TGS here to review as requested. I thought you did a good job keeping up with the relationship and dialogue between Teddy and Lily. I'm not much for this pair, just doesn't do much for me, but I could feel the love growing and vanishing between the two of them as the story progressed. There were some grammar mistakes in this, so another read through to edit those out would definitely help. Or you could have someone else, a friend perhaps, go through and beta it for you. Over all, though, this was a great first chapter.Author's Response: Hi Leslie! Yeah, I wanted to try a lesser known next gen relationship and was originally planning on making this Teddy/Rose but decided to try Teddy/Lily instead. I'm so glad you could actually feel the shift in the emotions throughout this - I always struggle with making my relationships believable, so it's awesome that you felt that! And oh dear, I'll be sure to go back and check those! Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback! Report Review
Wow I really liked how deep this chapter was
LPGMAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Great Story, It kept me wanting to read more! so well done.
I would really want to hear from Teddy's perspective now!Author's Response: Oh gosh, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! Ohhh, that's a great idea! I'll look into it! Thanks again! Report Review
This was really, really good!
I mean it. It was very well-written, and the amount of detail and description in there is amazing. I really liked reading this, and I like how you portrayed Lily, and how she felt the whole situation at the end. It was really interesting! I think you should definitely do a part 2, if you do I'll be sure to read it! Great job with this! I would love to read more from you! You're awesome!
And, um... if you ever have some spare time, could you R&R my fanfic "Darkest Night"? It would really mean a lot if you did. I don't know if Dramione's are your thing, but I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!
keep writing ~ flufff
9.5/10 (Sorry, there isn't a .5 but I'm just going to say there is :D)Author's Response: Ahh, first of all, sorry for replying so late! I saw this and meant to reply and then somehow it slipped my mind >.<
Aww thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! I did post a part two recently, if you want to check it out.
And sure, I'll have a look at it!
Thank you again, will do! Report Review
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