Reading Reviews for Moving On...
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronumhero Chapter Two- Evolution

4th December 2011:
this is awesome! chapter 3 please!

Author's Response: Aww...Thanks! I haven't even started writing chapter three, but maybe I'll try to begin today. Thanks for the review!

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Review #2, by Original Name Chapter Two- Evolution

24th November 2011:
I think you might have missed something here:

Harry took the necklace from her and gently connected the threads. Hermione turned around, and sighed.

Let's go. She murmured and walked away.

Harry didn't know why he kept doing these things. All he knew was Ron and Ginny wouldn't be very happy if they found out.

It doesn't make sense, all Harry did was connect the threads, I'm guessing you forgot to add in what Harry did, like kiss her neck or something then it would make sense.

Also little things like your sometimes putting a space between the speech marks and the first word and other times not doing it.

Eg: (") Oh you boys just wait till you see them.(") she giggled.

(")If they would just come out already!(") Ron groaned.

The structure is a lot better in this story than Cursed and you should strive to keep your stories at this standard.

I apologize for my early reviews if they seemed to harsh and if it always seems like I'm the Bad guy, honestly I'm just trying to be helpful and point out area's where you can improve, no one's perfect and my stories certainly lack in area's where your flourish.

Honestly you do make Hermione ill in your stories but, If that works for you why stop? but maybe you could mix it around maybe make Harry sick then from Hermione perspective realize that life is so different without him, and she doesn't like the jealous person Ron happens to be when she is caring and giving most of her attention to Harry. That she needs him in her life. I don't know its just a suggestion.

I quite like this story and hope you continue with it. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the explanation... I will try to add in some bits and pieces.

Also, Ive been rather busy, so I haven't had time to edit my stories for a while

Sorry if I was so harsh...

Thankks for the review and happy thanksgiving


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Review #3, by pizziagirl Chapter One- Hints

19th September 2011:
like it. update soon

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much! I will update! I am so happy you like it! Thank you so much!

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