He made her feel sane in a world that was ruled by insanity.
This is so incredibly beautiful. Honestly, I just love it all. The subtle descriptions and wonderful characterization.
In fact, on that note, I quite liked how you did very much Direct Characterization for Victorie, however, it flowed and really fit the story. I liked the indirect characterization for Teddy, the mix of the two was quite good.
I also enjoyed the mixture of flashbacks and real time. Plus, Teddy and Victorie are incredibly cute!! :)
This is GrangerDanger76 for TEAM BLUE! :)Author's Response: Subtle descriptions seem to be my thing at the moment.
Thank you so much, Teddy and Victoire are one of my favourite pairings, both born in sad circumstances - Teddy in the midst of a war and Victoire on the first anniversary - they just seem to suited and very innocent to me.
Again, thank you so much. Report Review
I really enjoyed this little one-shot, it was just lovely :)
I particuarlly liked the bits that focused on Victoire feeling alone and shy and sort of not part of the huge family. I think there was always going to be at least one Weasley who couldn't keep up with the noise and the loudness, and the idea that it was Victoire is sort of sweet :)
Plus all the little Teddy/Victoire scenes were so sweet and enjoyable. I'm a little sad that you don't have that many stories up on the archives, as I believe I've read and enjoyed both of your one shots.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. :)
I think it's the way i've always seen victoire; secluded and in a world of her own. And, of course, Teddy would also feel left out as this isn't his family, so to speak.
I really need to work on getting more pieces up, and I am, I have a James(II)/OC novel in the works along with a few other things.
Thank you, again. :D Report Review
Awh this was so cute,!
I've never really been an ecstatic next gen shipper,but this was just to cute!
I do have to say though,I always pictured Victoire as very sociable,very laughy,giggly. Maybe that's just me. From what we saw about teddy, I think you have him very spoon. Very sweet,kind,loving,absolutely adorable..
Whoops,did I let that slip out? ;D
I would definetly read if you did a novel about them. Now you're done for,because you won't go a day without me pestering you to continue this...
Continue this! 10/10
Adding to favs as well!Author's Response: Thank you. :)
I wasn't much one myself either, until I got to reading a few and now, I'm hooked. :P
I have a couple of one-shots planned, just snippet's on their lives together, but I don't think a novel will come out of it, unfortunately.
Thank you so much for your lovely review. :) Report Review
Merry Christmas (and ho ho ho)!
I absolutely loved the juxtaposition that you started with. You described all the noise, the clanks and clatters of the surrounding room, and there's Victoire, just sitting in silence. It was captivating from the very first line.
And your scenes in italics are just as enthralling. They set a nice little bump in your flow, which interrupts your original story to add thickness and, I dunno, "oomph" to it. I loved them.
This was really marvelous. You've got a nice handle on words, and your style as a writer is very, very envious.
Have a happy holidays!
Secret SantaAuthor's Response: Again, I can't thank you enough. I've been having complete writer's block and I think reading this might have just kickstarted my muse again. :) Report Review
I also loved this one :) I 've also written a one-shot about one of the Delacour-Weasleys with red-hair (Dominique in mine), it's so fun to go with that direction!
I liked the mention of Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione, it was so in tune with their characters!
Well Done again :)Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it! :D
I'll definitely have to check out your one-shot, I love reading about unusual (in fanfiction terms) characteristics.
Again ,thank you :D Report Review
Hi hon, BvB review battle!
This is such a moving, beautifully written piece. Definitely one of the best Teddy/victoire's I've ever read. Seriously.
Victoire is characterised very differently to anything else I've read! She's quite shy, anti-social. It's really interesting to read about, and adds a certain depth to the story.
One thing I thought I'd mention is when you say 'Not, at least, until Teddy came along. He made her feel sane in a world that was ruled by insanity' Teddy is born before Victoire so he wouldn't have 'come along.' Didn't she always know him?
I then love the barbecue idea (of course Arthur would do that kind of thing!!)
Love it! LWG xAuthor's Response: Thank you so much :)
I really wanted to characterize Victoire differently as this is how I see her, she was never the social type to me.
Ah, when I wrote that he 'come along' I meant as in their friendship and relationship. He was born before her and of course they'd always known each other but not so much in a close sense. Maybe I should write about their relationship more :P
It is a very Arthur thing to do :D Report Review
Oooh! This is really good so far and it is a lovely start for the story! I love the little moments and. well- everything! :) so very cute! 10 out of 10 at the moment for this!
~MayAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review, i'm glad that you liked the little moments. :) Report Review
This was a lovely piece of work! :D I love how you've portrayed Victoire as the shyer, quieter one of the two sisters. Usually, Victoire is the loud, outgoing one, while Dom is "pushed aside" into the background. You don't see many characterizations of Victoire like this, so I'm glad to see your unique take on it!
I like how you make sure to point out the contrast between the behavior of Victoire and her family. I find that the differences are really intriguing. You could definitely develop this a little more if you wanted to, just to explore the background of Teddy's and Victoire's story. I would love to read that story if you did decide to write it! :D
Super cute, *sigh* I love Teddy/Victoire ♥Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jordan! :D
I love this portrayal of Victoire too, it's actually what inspired me to write this. After reading the same generic Vic over and over again, it can get boring, so I thought I'd spice it up.
I haven't actually thought of writing a prequel/sequel to this, but after NaNo, I might.
I love them too Report Review
Hi, it is JessicaLily from the forums with your Birthday gift! So…Happy Birthday!
I loved this story. It is short and sweet, yet allows us to get a good grasp on the Teddy/Victoire relationship. I do love these two; there is something just so endearing about them.
Your characterisation of Victoire in this one-shot was quite unusual; so often we see her as either a mini Fleur with beautiful silver hair, or a bit of a nasty piece of work. Your portrayal of her as shy and antisocial with *gasp* red hair was quite unique, but I really enjoyed it. It added an extra dynamic to the story their relationship. As opposed to Victoire being the perfect child who anyone would adore, it was interesting to see Teddy be the only person who noticed her. However, you did not make this cliche. It is a realistic interpretation of their relationship.
Your spelling and grammar was on the whole very good- only one iffy bit which was: The truth was, she was intimidated, Victoire liked her own space and with a family of this capacity, space was at a minimum. There should be a semicolon or full stop after intimidated.
Generally, I really liked your writing style. It is a very flowing and eloquent style that draws you into the story and is pleasant to read.
A great one-shot which I really enjoyed :D Report Review
This was beautiful!!! (: Very nice to read.Author's Response: Thank you so much, Julie. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Hello! Here with your requested review! This one-shot really surprised me. Your version of Victoire reminded me of myself. It was really interesting, and the more of it I read, the more of myself I saw in her. Anyway, I doubt you're interested in that, so on with the review! ^_^
The memory of her youth was really well done; I loved the little touch of Arthur wanting a muggle BBQ. I think it would be typically him. Plus, the thing with Ron was also just classic. I had a mental image of Ron running around in the background with his trousers on fire, with Harry and Hermione chasing after him trying to put it out.
The interraction between Teddy and Victoire was also really nice. I liked how shy they were when they met, and how much she came out of her shell when she wasn't around her family. (*Shifty look*...)
As I was reading, I noticed that you have the sentence “Come one, won’t you talk to me?” , which I assume should be on, rather than one. (Although if it was intentional, and I just misread the sentence, feel free to shoot me ;) )
It was interesting, because most people seem to write Vic as the daughter who looks more like Fleur, and Dom as the one who looks more like Bill. So reading it the other way around really was very interesting. I guess that's the beauty of next-gen, isn't it.
I hope this review was of some sort of use to you. It seems more like a ramble to me. :S
This was a very cute story, so well done!
Leanne :)Author's Response: Hi Leanne! :) Thank you for the lovely review.
You know, that exact scene with the BBQ played out in my head that way as wel, it works out to be quite a visual scene despite it not being detail heavy.
With Teddy & Vic, I really wanted to show that she really could only be herself around Teddy, that no one else could bring her out her shell like he did, so I'm glad you saw it that way.
Ha! That sentence definitely wasn't intentional! I've corrected that at least 3 times and for some reason, I keep putting the wrong version in! But, an edited version is the queue- it's just that one spelling error - so that'll be that fixed.
Sometimes it's nice to stray from the norm, and this is exactly how I envisioned Vic, it seems more 'her' to me.
Again, thank you so much! :D Report Review
Hey! Its Perelandra from the forums here with your review!
This is cute, short and sweet. I don't usually do fluff or romance but glad I gave it a go.
Anyway, this was too short to really critique on plot and character development. I did like however that you portrayed Victoire as a redhead instead of a blonde like her mother. I can believe that some of the Weasley children would tend to be shy thanks to the overwhelming amount of cousins!
Anyway, the one tiny bit of "issue" that I spotted was "Come one, won’t you talk to me?”" As you would see...its "on" and not "one" XD Maybe add a bit more of imagery. Your narrative is great but a bit more description could've been better. Like what was Ron screaming when he was on fire? Because you know he wouldn't keep his mouth shut. The details, I love details as long as its not OVERLY detailed. That's my opinion though! :) But other than that...that's it!
Keep writing!Author's Response: I'm sure with that many relatives there's got to be at least one shy person! :)
The typo has now been corrected! It's in the queue as I type.
As for the narrative; this was written in third person limited, we only 'see' from Victoire's point of view, the lack of description from the Ron scene was to show how little she pays attention and how much she's in her own little world. But, I get what you mean with the details, I love the little details as wel.
Thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
Hi! Naida here with your requested review :D You asked for help with characterization of Teddy and Victorie, and writing style, so without further ado...
Victorie. I really liked your interpretation of her :) I was a little apprehensive at first with the her being so shy, but you managed to pull it off perfectly. I think a lot of people give her a more Fleur attitude towards life, but Bill really was a lot quiter and reserved, so it's quite realistic that Victorie would take after him. The only thing I have to say about her is that there was almost too big of a difference between her with Teddy and her without. It was very slight, but it seemed odd to me that she was SO antisocial around everyone else, and then completely open and willing to share everything with Teddy. Maybe if she blushed when she said Teddy made her feel safe, or if she turned away from him slightly...just something to show that it's not two opposite personalities. The fact that she's different around him is completely believable :)
Teddy. I couldn't tell as much about him from this, it being from Victorie's perspective, but from what I saw, he was great. You managed to make him enough like Victorie that the relationship worked, but different enough that he could break her from her shell as well. His personality did show through in the few sentences he had, and I liked what I saw :)
Writing style. For the most part, I loved it. Your words flowed really well, and there was a certain softness to them that I absolutely loved. The only part I didn't like was, ironically, your first paragraph.
"The noise was deafening; voices were booming, cutlery was clanging and Victoire could do nothing but sit in silence. Her eyes wandered around the expanse of table, trying to find someone to converse with. Her attempts were futile."
Defeaning, booming, cutlery, clanging, expanse, converse, futile. The words I just listed are all pretty large words, if you get my drift. They're not words you typically use in everyday language. So having a lot together in one paragraph just seemed like a bit too much. It didn't have the same prettiness and flow as the rest of your work did. If you just changed three or four of them, it should fix it :)
The last thing would be the grammar. For the most part, it was really nice, and I didn't catch much, but you had a couple run on sentences. For example, "The truth was, she was intimidated, Victoire liked her own space and with a family of this capacity, space was at a minimum. ". You should either have a period or a semicolon after intimidated ;)
Overall, I really enjoyed this. The things I mentioned were all fairly minor, and you did a great job on this. The descriptions and emotions were perfect, and the snapshot was adorable!
-Naida Report Review
I LOVED this! As soon as I log back in I'm putting it on my favorites, you had a perfect balance of fluff and humor (what with Ron burning his pants), which is so refreshing. Normally when I read a fluff story there's way too much, makes me feel like I'm eating marshmallows.
Not that I don't like marshmallows, but you catch my drift. :)
Again, great work!Author's Response: I do catch your drift. :D It's like your playing chubby bunny sometimes with too much fluff.
I'm glad it balanced out well for you. Gahh, you make me blush. Thank you so much! :D Report Review
This was such a cute story to read. I've not really read many Next Gen era stories and have been meaning too . . . i'm pretty stuck in my old ways! Reading this I think I might jus start them.
The relationship was sweet and innocent, one of those ones that just makes you go awe!
Very Good one shot!
LogamindAuthor's Response: Yay! You really should read next-gen, there's some pretty awesome stuff and I'm glad to be the one that started you out! :D
Thank you so much, you're so kind! Report Review
Hello there :)
This was such a cute little one-shot! I love Tedoire-they are one of my favorite pairings! They're just so sweet together...ahh. Anyway, I really liked how you portrayed Victoire-I've seen her shy and slightly anti-social, but not around her family. Around school and such, but around her family is pretty orginal. Good job with that.
I just love how Teddy is the one she confides in. (I say again, they are so cute together!) It would make sense, if she truly is like this, for them to act like that. It's so sweet how she opens up so much to him. Ahh...I like this story.
I love your writing style too! You have such a good flow going, it's easy to read. The flashbacks are understaed, it doesn't deter from the storyline, yet you know it's a flashback. Everything seemed so real too, I could see it happening. Great job! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review. I'm glad you liked my unusual portrayal of Victoire, you don't see many shy/outcast portrayals of her.
Teddy's the only one she feels comfortable with, they're both outcasts - Teddy feeling like he isn't really a part of the family and Vic not fitting in - they're perfect for each other.
Sorry for the delay in response and again, thank you so much for your review. Report Review
Hi! This was the most cute thing ever. I am so glad you've characterized Victoire like this, it is a refreshing change and it's how I picture her too. I personally hate the stereotypical, stuck up person people constantly made her to be. I also love her relationship with Teddy. It's very realistic and it was a complete joy to read about. I think this was very well written and I enjoyed it from the start to the end!
- KeelyAuthor's Response: Yea, sometimes it's nice to have a little change characterisation wise.
Thank you so much! Report Review
Hello there! I'm phoenixflames19 when I'm on the forums, and this is your review.
This is so cute! I really enjoyed your characterization of Victoire. I've always thought that as the first of the Weasley clan to go to Hogwarts, she would be somehow differerent from the rest of the insanity that is her family.
The flow was a little off at first-- I was slightly confused when you slipped from memory to present, since they could have happened on the same day. No worries though, it isn't a big deal.
I only noticed a few grammar things, so great job! They aren't really even worth correcting. I feel like you had fun writing this. It really comes through in the way I feel now after reading it.
Warm fuzzies all around!
wbm/pfAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :)
I'm so glad you liked the characterisation of Victoire, it's something I feel very strongly about when writing Victoire as a character and to me, this is her.
Since this review, I have revised this chapter and I did take what you said into consideration and implemented it in the chapter.
Thank you so much for your review and I'm so sorry for the lateness of my response, I really have no excuse. Report Review
Lemonpeeps here, I saw that you'd posted on my review thread and decided to drop you a review!!
So I noticed a couple of tyops randomly through out the story, just read through it really slowly and they'll jump out at you I'm sure. I thought your little snap shot of the Potter/Weasly world was a very good one. In my opinion you got down the craziness perfectly. I got that the *s ment you where changing the perspective (I think that's the right word) but the last few sections kind of were a little confusing. Like the transition between the third to last section to the second to last section was where I was the most confused. And I also didn't understand why you separated the last three sections, if you rearragned some of the paragraphs you could probably combine them. Your characterization of Victorire was a nice change from the rest. But I didn't feel that she was the same girl with Teddy (even though I'm sure she was different around him). It felt kind of like a mistake or tiny bit of confusion that needs to be explained so I noted it. If you were going to listen to one thing in my review I think you should just expand what you have here. You write very well, I think this just needs more meat on it's frame. Go into more detail about the relations ships Vic has with the people you mentioned. I can see you did that with Vic/Teddy but if you went into more detail about the first kiss about why she was ignoring him. Try and show us the story with your words!
Wow this is long. I hope I didn't bring you down too much because I did enjoy what you've written here. And I hope that it's stuff you wanted to hear
lemonpeeps oxAuthor's Response: Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, I really have no excuse besides laziness.
This review really helped improve this piece. I took everything you said into consideration and have rewritten and added some parts to the piece in order for it flow better as a story.
Thank you so much for this review, it wasn't at all harsh, it was exactly what I needed. Again, thank you. Report Review
I thought that this was so incredibly cute. I like the way that you chose to have Vic being different like this. A lot of the stories have her being the really confident older daughter and have Dom being more shy. I kinda like the idea presented here that the Weasleys really are just too loud for her.
There were a few spots that had some typos, for example it should be: Come on instead of "come one". Other than that I really thought that it was well written and an interesting perspective of Vic character.
MileyMalfoy (Miles from the forums)Author's Response: Thank you so much! The typos have now been corrected, well I did correct it but for some reason it didn't change, so an edited version is in the queue.
Again, thank you for a lovely review. Report Review
Fauxthefox from the forums with your review!
I love this! You've actually given Victoire a personality instead of just making her pretty. I like how you've set her apart from her family, and the way you've constructed Teddy/Vic's relationship so that it's actually meaningful.
Ron setting his pants on fire... fantastic. You capture the Potter/Weasley family dynamic really well. The loudness thing seems totally spot-on.
In the fourth scene, you've made a tiny little mistake: I think you mean "come on" instead of "come one," right? I would also suggest that you flesh out that scene a bit. Does Victoire have anything to say that she's holding back?
Very beautiful and sweet! I loved the last scene, although I wish you'd described their setting a little more, so the reader would know exactly where they're flashing back from (it was a flash-back, right?)
FauxAuthor's Response: Hi there! :)
I really dislike the 'stereotypical' Victoire which is why I decided to write Victoire the way I did. Being the eldest Weasley grandchild I think can make her feel a bit isolated as when more children came along she was ignored a little with their being so many of them.
I'm going to go back and edit things, there's a few more scenes I want to put in I think, flesh out the Teddy and Victoire scenes a little more. Yes, it was a flashback :)
That was so sweet! Aw, I loved it. I liked your portrayal of Victoire. I had never really thought about it before, but I think it fit her really well, even though J.K. Rowling leaves it up to our imaginations (: Your writing was also incredible, what with all that fantastic description. I'd love to see more from you... keep it up! :D
also... well, I'd really appreciate it if you would read&review my ff "Darkest Night." It's a Dramione, but if you ever get the time I'd love to know what you thought of it. Thank you!Author's Response: Thank you so much. Yea, I wanted to portray Victoire a little differently to what is 'normal' as I feel this fits her personality a bit more.
I'll see if i can look it up when I've finished a few reviews :) Report Review
This was so sweet! A beautiful little vignette.
I loved your Victoire. I could totally relate to sometimes wanting to be by yourself - I can be outgoing, but if I was left to my own devices, I could happily spend the day alone. It was nice to see a Weasley that was quieter and more soft spoken.
I have a special place in my heart for Ted/Victoire :) They really are such a cute couple! The way you wrote them was incredibly sweet and very "aww" worthy.
I saw a few misspellings here and there, but nothing terrible that interrupted the flow or anything so no worries :) Just little things like "her Uncle's", which should be "her Uncles", but nothing major.
I loved, loved this story. It was so lovely and flowed really nicely. It's certainly short and sweet! You did a wonderful job, and I'm really looking forward to reading more things by you in the future :)
-Snapdragons (Claw)Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much, it really means a lot :D
I'm going to go back and edit a few things and add on a few scenes, just flesh things out a bit more so thank you for pointing out those little discrepancies.
Again, thank you! :) Report Review
Hey there! Here with your review as promised :)
I actually loved the unconventional portrayal of Victoire here. Her feelings of vulnerability really came through for me, and I can imagine that Fleur would not know what to do with a daughter who isn't as dramatic, social and confident as she is. I also love the way that you switched between scenes. Also, the part where Ron accidentally set his trousers aflame was quite funny.
As for critique, I think (and please double-check on this before changing it) that the expression in the first section is actually "get a word in edgeWISE", not "edgeways". You also left the "i" out of "chair" in the third section. The fact that my critique is so nit-picky should suggest to you that the quality of this piece made it difficult to find things to improve upon.
Overall, this was very well-written and quite entertaining. I agree, the two of them do make an adorable pairing. Stories like this inspire me to write a Teddy/Victoire of my own :) The whole thing flowed quite smoothly as well.
Nicely done :) As always, thanks for the request and feel free to ask for another review for more of your stuff on down the line. I hope what I've said proves to be helpful to you :)
academica (Slytherin)Author's Response: I can definitely see Fleur being completely out of her depth with this Victoire. She really wouldn't know what to do.
Actually, in the UK and I think Australia, edgeways is the common term, whereas in the US it's edgewise, it's just a language difference. It means the same thing. :)
This review was helpful so thank you so much! :) Report Review
Heya! I saw your status on the forums and decided to give this a shot =)
I must admit I'm impressed. I really liked your portrayal of Victoire. It was so unique and yet beautiful (not in the physical sense, though of course she is beautiful physically too, but oh well you get the gist).
I always saw Dom as the more social one too =) I love the idea of a quiet, sweet, slightly shy Victoire. It somehow fits her personality better than the pretty, proud and totally sociable Victoire we see in most stories. I have always found Ted and Vic really cute and your fic really gave them such a nice little touch. Ted's characterization was perfect too. I loved how you included that little flashback of the BBQ scene. I think it added substance to the plot.
All in all, I really loved reading this one-shot. It was very sweet and realistic. Good work here, 10/10!
Forum Name: AditiDraco95
P.S. I was wondering why you have set the status of this Fic as "WIP" when it is a one-shot and is supposed to be Completed? ;) :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much.
Definitely, in my mind, Dom is the social one without a doubt. I've always seen Ted and Victoire as the quiet and laid back couple that don't let too many things get to them.
The BBQ scene was for sure one of my favourite bits to write.
Oh, yes, it was supposed to be set as complete - I hit the wrong option :P It's fixed now.
Again, thank you so much. Report Review
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