Reading Reviews for Royalty
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lostmyheart Royalty

28th October 2011:
Sad story but I liked it very much.. :) good job.

Author's Response: Thank you for the sweet review! Chapter 10 should be out shortly!

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Review #2, by Sephia Royalty

21st August 2011:
wow...write another chapter please

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Unfortunately, Royalty was intended to be a one-shot. Although, I have been toying with ideas for follow-ups. At any rate, thank you for the review!

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Review #3, by ravenclaw_princess Royalty

15th August 2011:
Wow, this is s very elegantly written story. There was definitely a very regal atmosphere created with your wording choice and it took me back to the Elizabethan times of Kings and Queens.

I felt quite sorry for Pansy in this story, which isn't something I usually feel for her. She desired Draco so much, but Ginny was right, in that she would always be second best. she eventually realised this, but by then it was too late for her. She showed her raw emotions in that letter to Ginny, she seemed almost desperate. Yet, while in public, even known what was going on, she held her head high and remained the regal figure.

I love how the story came to a close, although I did have to read it twice. The transition form Hogwarts to later life is not very clear and I suggest either a break is put in, or you make it very clear in the first sentence/paragraph that many years have past since she first read the letter (a heap of spaces appears more like poor formatting rather than a break). On the second reading, I could see the hints of the change in time, but on a first reading, it took a while to put them all together and to recognise the change.

Over all, this was a very enjoyable story to read and I love the atmosphere you created. Grammar and spelling was very good also. I love how the story came to a close, it was a very bittersweet; Pansy had what she wanted, yet she still wasn't happy.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the thoughtful review! Comments and feedback are always incredibly helpful. I'm glad you enjoyed Pansy's character - I usually don't feel very sorry for her either, and as I've mentioned somewhere, this was a complete experiment that turned into a delightful little delve into the mind of a Slytherin. I'm very glad you enjoyed it and the ending. Also, thank you for your notes on the transition. After fixing the formatting twice, I'm still not really pleased with the spaces serving as a break, but I really dislike using a physical break in this particular fic, for whatever reason. At any rate, thank you again for the thoughtful critique!

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Review #4, by ashleydelacour Royalty

8th August 2011:
I'm not much of a reviewer, as I don't know what I say helps anyone, but here goes!

First of all, I can't believe you've already had one other review! This story is magnificent! I'm a huge fan of descriptive writing, espically when the author is talented in writing neat little phrases thorugh their paragraphs, I must say you were quite stellar in that respect.

I have to agree with the past reviewer on two notes: I loved that you had a medieval tone to it, but thought it was out of place for modern-day Hogwarts. And there was a point in the story where I was super confused about the time change. One moment, Ginny was having an affair, then she was married?

Besdies that, I really enjoyed the ending, it was a plot twister at the end. I will be sure to look out for your other writings.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story - I had a bit of fun writing it. A medieval tone, eh? See what happens when I try to acess my inner Slytherin? Now the confession - this was written as a total experiment to see if I actually could speak Slytherin. I was completely trying to puzzle out how they think, the kind of language they might use (a little to formal on my end, I think), and how their social hierarchy works. Thank you for letting me know about formatting issues, a divider probably is necessary for that big of a time leap. I'm so glad you enjoyed (again) and thank you for reviewing (again)!

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Review #5, by charlottetrips Royalty

7th August 2011:
I have to say that this is amazing. It's so formal and takes me back to the days of kings and queens of old. It's elegantly written and the phrases and words were just something I wanted to soak and savor.

This line I feel describes Pansy's modus operandi quite well: "She was fiercely loyal, but her loyalty always had a price, and it was always returned."

You somehow managed to make me feel sympathy for Pansy, a girl that I normally write as crazy and insane. That is amazing. Her bittersweetness is something I pity.

A couple things I have attention on here:
1) The spacing
2) The switching from Hogwarts years to a later time. There was nothing indicating that except for the fact you said she finished reading it for the five millionth time. Maybe a little divider or something?

Other than that, your comparison of Pansy and Draco to a Prince and a Queen and her regal attitude so reminded me of stories I'd read set in the times of Queen Elizabeth the First (Phillipa Gregory).

This was wonderfully written.

charlottetrips [Ravenclaw]

Author's Response: Thank you for the incredibly well thought out review. I feel extremely flattered that you took the time to offer an honest critique. The line you picked to essentially sum Pansy up is one of my favorites from this fic. Thank you for the heads up on the formatting issues - I have gone back in to try and fix them, as I'm not entirely sure of their cause...probably something to do with the story being formatted in word (grumble grumble). Another reader also did not find the time jump as somewhat confusing. Originally, there was supposed to be a large break between the two 'halves' but I'm sure that was lost in translation in lew of the formatting from Hades issues I had going on. Hopefully that will present itself better now, because I really don't want a physical break in there. Thank you again!

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