I have to admit that I didn't quite expect what happened, but it was brilliant all the same. I thought your characterisation of both Pansy and Seamus was pretty much spot-on and you gave away just enough of the history to fill me in on the background, although I'd have liked to know a little more about whether she was still in touch with her Slytherin buddies. Apart from that, the flow was perfect, there were no mistakes at all, and I loved how you put Seamus' accent in - most people probably wouldn't bother. I really, really enjoyed it.
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thanks Aph, much appreciated! I'm glad you enjoyed this one, it definitely was a different ship, one that I've become quite fond of actually. It's different and still interesting enough for it to be plausible :) Anyways, thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it, cheers! Bobby xx Report Review
This was certainly a new ship that I came acoss!! Seamus and Pansy, wow!! Well I think you wrote this really well. I loved how the descriptions of the surroundings are given in detail. I always feel they add a special touch to the story!! Seamus' accent was caught on perfectly! I totally enjoyed reading him. The chemistry between Pansy and him was quite nicely written. All in all a very enjoyable, if not interesting, read =)
Great work there!!
End of an era review extravaganza: house cup 2011
Forum Name: AditiDraco95
House: SlytherinAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review AD, much appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed it and the unusual ship. I'm a fan of it myself, will have to put up some more of it lol. Thanks again! Bobby xx Report Review
I've never seen this couple before, but you wrote it well. I think that the situation you used to get them together was probably one of the only ones that would have worked- they don't seem to be the type of couple to get together when sober.
Your summary, which is also your first sentence, caught my eye. It was such an unusual, normal (for us, not the wizarding world) statement and I wanted to know what it would lead to. I didn't expect this, but that's not a bad thing.
There are only a few things I noticed. First of all, in the beginning you used a lot of run-on sentences, like you were trying to put too much information into one line. It would flow a lot smoother if you split them up into smaller sentences. As well, even though I myself know nothing of fashion (just like Helga), is the term "fashion-dead witch" an actual description? Is there perhaps a better way to say it? I understood what you meant, but I found it awkward to read.
Another minor detail: in the sentence "and the far too many firewhiskys", I'd take away "the" to make the sentence flow smoother.
I think you characterized Seamus very well, but I wonder if you were too enthousiastic with his accent. I don't think he sounded like that in the books (though I could be wrong) and it was a little hard to read, though I could understand everything pretty well.
Other than that, I thought this was a good one-shot about the morning of Pansy and Seamus. It was nice to see that you improved Pansy's character from her Hogwarts days... she would have grown up by then (at least, we hope so).
Roots in Water (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: Hi RiW, thanks for stopping by, and sorry for the late response. (Late being an understatement...)
Yes I understand what you meant by all of that, I'll have to go through and edit some things, thanks. Glad you enjoyed it and found it to be something different and unusual, and the summary description to be intreguing. Thanks for stopping by, Bobby xx Report Review
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