Oh boy. I never imagine Luna with anyone besides Rolf so at first I wasn't really feeling it. I wasn't accepting to the idea of George/Luna but then I started to get into the story. It happened very quickly, very suddenly. I love reading about George and how he deals with life after Fred. I thought the 'box' part was wonderful. But I think what I liked about this the most was the end. Because the focus was just on George throughout the whole thing. You really didn't show Luna, you mentioned her, she was there and you really did go into detail about their relationship. But it was still about George and even in the end, when he didn't feel 'quite so alone anymore' it seemed to me that he wasn't alone anymore from the beginning of the chapter. I'm not entirely sure if it makes sense. It makes sense in my head but what I'm pretty much saying is: Great job! Report Review
I kind of like George/Luna. It's different! I like this story too, although there are some grammatical mistakes and some times you used a word that didn't really make sense, but it's ok I'm just super used to looking for mistakes. It's a good story!Author's Response: We Are Padfoot and Prongs,
Yeah, they're so different. And hush up on the grammar mistakes, you little grammar nazi! XD Report Review
I actually really like it ^^ Liked the writingstyle, liked the aura of the story, ... Great !
Nina xAuthor's Response: NessaTelemnar,
Oh my gosh, thank you! I'm so glad you like it, this is my iffy story. I think iffy is the word. . .if-fy. . . Anyway, thanks so much for the reveiw! :) Report Review
Wow. This is simply beautiful.
I have to tell you I've never really thought of George/Luna either, but wow, this is just amazing. You get the balance of George's grief and Luna's small interjections just right. You make it so that in the beginning Fred is in the forefront, and then at the end Luna's taken that place, but you do it so well a reader doesn't even notice it until the very end.
You captured George perfectly as well. His grief just manages to jump out from the page and hit you every single time. It's the purest form of empathy. The walks are a nice idea too, I could see him doing it just to stop his mother from visiting his room. Plausible actions are my most favourite.
And Luna. She sort-of transforms before our eyes, doesn't she? She always gravitates to the wounded and tries to heal them - it's what she did with Harry in OOTP and it's what she's doing with George there. Her eyes - you can just picture them perfectly in your head. It's only a little one-shot, but by the end I was screaming for George and Luna to kiss.
My first George/Luna fic. Just beautiful.
(10/10)Author's Response: simplelullaby,
*prods rapidly swelling ego* Your review literally made my night. It's so nice and I'm so glad you wrote it because I've been in an irritable mood and now I'm not.
George/Luna. I don't even know where to begin. It was just such a weird pairing anyway, and I'd almost wanted to do a humor fic, because I think they would also work well in a lighter mood, but I'd just read THE most amazing Fred-dying story a few hours before I wrote this and so I began to wonder who would be able to fix George after Fred leaves him.
The grief--I'm very glad to hear that you think I caught it well enough. I've never lost a part of myself, thank goodness, so I wouldn't understand exactly how that felt, but I know that there aren't really a whole lot of words that can correctly describe it. And yeah, I can sort of see myself doing the whole holed-up-inside thing and then just coming out once in a while to stop my parents from worrying.
I love Luna. It's plain and it's simple, but she's just so hard to write (which is why it's in George's POV and not Luna's). She's an enigma, and I didn't really want her to be figured out because part of her charm is her unique quirkiness. But yes, she does gravitate towards the broken and she tries to fix them--the way you worded it is perfect. I'm really glad you were rooting for them by the end!
Mine too, to be honest! (: Thank you for the review. Report Review
I absolutely loved this! it described perfectly what I'm feeling right now, its actually scary how exact this is. anyway I thought this was just so good, and I didn't find any mistakes. 10!Author's Response: fairytalelover3,
yeah, i secretly read your mind and wrote a story based on your thoughts. in a non-creepy way. i'm glad you liked it though, in all seriousness, and thank you! (: Report Review
Haha. I agree that it is a very odd couple. I wonder if it would be the same if it were someone else instead of Luna. But good job. And congrats on 1st place. :)Author's Response: Enitsirk,
YES FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES. Luna is just special enough for it to be her. Thank you! I was honestly surprised I won. Report Review
Y'know, when I saw the story, I was a bit doubtful at how well a George/Luna story could be written... I mean I could see it, but I was concerned about execution. Fortunately, my concern was unwarranted because this was such a nice, touching story. It was so realistic in terms of characterization which I think was mostly because this was from George's POV - I find fics from Luna's POV are so, so hard to write. I could imagine all of these events happening, so kudos to you.
Only concrit I can offer is that the ending isn't very original and had quite a few cliches and the like, but I feel ya on that one because there's only so many ways to write anything related to sex. So overall, it was a great story! Really touching given the subject matter of the challenge itself. You took the idea of a one-night-stand from it's slightly-trashy connotation to a nice Hurt/Comfort piece.
Nisha/faerieall (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: faerieall,
It makes me happy when you say such nice words about my story(: I'm glad you thought it was good, and I know, Luna is hard (but awesomely fun) to write, so I went the easy way out and wrote in George's POV instead(;
I know, the ending is cliche-galore, but I kind of like it in a weird sort of way. Like you said, there's only so many ways one can write a scene based on sex, so yeah. . .and thank you for thinking that it's less trashy, more classy! :D Report Review
The image I got of Luna taking George to see his twin's grave was haunting. It just doesn't seem right to have the twins split up, and I think you did a great job of showing how much George's life was changed after Fred died.
You actually made me hope that Luna and George would kiss prior to the end of the story, which is really good. I know how hard it is to make an unusual pairing work for this challenge (I mean, James/Narcissa was a toughie and I can only imagine this was as well!) and I think you did a great job. I was surprised by how sweet and beautiful you were able to turn a fic about a one night stand into.
Great job and good luck with the challenge!Author's Response: Flower n Prongs,
Thank you. I'm really glad you think I did justice to his emotions, it means a lot to hear that(:
Oh, I'm so glad you were rooting for them! I didn't know if I'd been pushing it too far. I LOVED the James/Narcissa one, it was so cute! And thank you, I'm surprised you can think a one-night-stand is sweet and beautiful. :D Report Review
Well... This was rather fantastic to say the least. George/Luna is a pairing I've never even heard of, but now I might ship it. :)
I love when you describe Luna. You do it perfectly. I can totally see Luna doing that actually...
Another easy 10/10!Author's Response: nitenel,
Oh, goodness, you're too nice to me! I'm glad you liked it! And thank you! Luna is always fun to write. Report Review
I have to say, I never thought of Luna and George being together either, but you managed to make it perfect. George's sense of emptiness and grief at Fred's death was so believable it nearly had me in tears, but it seemed very right that Luna was the one to bring him slowly out of it. I can definitely imagine her being so unjudgemental and quietly supportive when a friend is going through a death, so it was a brilliant time to bring the two of them together. I just thought it was a beautiful piece of writing, and a very hard thing to pull off, too. You should definitely be proud of it! :)Author's Response: Meg Potter,
Neither. Did. I. I'm glad it was believable, though I'm sorry it made you upset! Luna does seem to have that mysterious quality to her, even in the books, right? I'd hoped I wasn't pushing it--I worried a bit that I was being insensitive to George by putting him with someone during his time of grief. I'm so glad you liked it, and thank you! :D Report Review
Umm...very unlikely couple, to say the least. But I LOVED the story. So realistic and passionately written. You did better than Rowling as far as romance goes. It's very hard to write a good fanficition, especially as far as romance goes, because you have to build it up very carefully and realistically, and one mistake can make your story trash. I also liked that there was only one line of dialogue in the entire thing. Great job.Author's Response: Anonymous,
Wow. Your review made my night. You're so sweet, it's ridiculous. Better than Rowling. I can only wish, but thank you anyway! And I'm really glad you liked it! I only had one line of dialogue? Heh. Report Review
I quite like this! I hope you win :)Author's Response: beccaajoy,
Awww, thank you! It won't be bad if I don't. I'm really happy with it, so just entering is good enough for me! :) Report Review
I never pictured Luna and George either, this was probably one of the most difficult pairings but you managed to pull it off! It was elegant though I feel there could have been more emotion but besides that I really enjoyed it :) Good Luck!
DalihaAuthor's Response: Daliha,
Aww, thank you! It means so much when you lovely people tell me that I managed to pull them off. :D And I realize that now, when I reread it, there wasn't a whole lot of emotion, but I'm glad you liked it anyways! :) Report Review
Wow! Just...wow! That was amazing I went from crying almost the whole time to going "awww" when it said "Geroge didn't feel quite so alone anymore." I'm adding it to my favorite! :D 10/10Author's Response: Maggie!!
Ahaha, you're so sweet--I'm really glad you liked it, though I'm sorry it made you cry! Thank you! :) Report Review
First off - thank you so much for entering(:
Second - this was amazing.
I loved the beginning sentence. It was perfect and I thought you set up the post-war atmosphere perfectly. George's fear and grief was captured wonderfully. I absolutely adored this section in particular:
"The room had been abandoned when the twins had gone off to do bigger, better things. And now George was abandoned while Fred had gone off to a bigger, better place."
^ Beautiful(: As someone close to me recently died, I identified with the loss and it just made me so sad :( But in a good way!
I loved Luna as well. You portrayed her perfectly. That's one of the best things about this story -- how in character George and Luna are. The interactions were so raw and beautiful and poetic and, most importantly -- believable (which was the point of this challenge)
So all in all, I loved this. If all the entries are as good as this, I'm going to have a hard time judging!(:
--SpringSinger19Author's Response: SpringSinger19,
Ah!! You make my work sound so amazing, it's incredible. All this came from YOU who gave me Luna and George to work with and I spent the longest time trying to figure out when they would possibly get together and then. . .THIS.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and that sentence, I makes me go 'did I really write that?' which is both worrying and amusing.
And hearing that they were kept in character--that's just really, I dunno, exciting (for lack of better word) to hear, because I was worrying about that a lot.
Thank you again, for both the challenge and the lovely review! Report Review
This pairing is so different, and yet you make it seem the most natural thing in the world. The way Luna treats George is just adorable. It was the exact thing that he needed by the seem of it. Luna always did seem like the person who would be the unjudging friend, without sugar coating the concept of death. The fact that the characterisation was so good makes this pairing all the more impressive. The kiss, and then the events after the kiss, to me, seemed amazing and oozed with passion. As for critique, I'm finding it hard to find anything. Honestly, at this moment in time, I can't find anything to suggest. You have a lot to be proud of...Brava!
leannemariesnape, Hufflepuff (Leanne)Author's Response: leannemariesnape,
I. Love. This. Review. You're just such a nice person and you wrote all sorts of lovely things and I'm really glad you like something that I had no idea how to write because I'd never even seen a George/Luna before and suddenly it was given to me and blah. Thank you so much--this review is so sweet. :) Report Review
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