Hi there! I'm not entirely sure how I ended up here, to be honest. I was going from favorite to favorite of certain authors and saw your name. And then I realized that I'd never read anything by you before. THEN I saw you had a Bill/Fleur chapter fic. I LOVE Fleur. I hate the kind of portrayal she gets in fan fiction, and I've been wanting to read something that revolved around her. Anyway, I wanted to read something shorter of yours before starting that to see if I liked your writing style. haha. That sounds weird, doesn't it?
But! onto this actual review. Your writing style is gorgeous. I love the melodic way you wrote this. Everything flows into one another so much, that the sentences that you do want to stand out (like when Rose wanted to be a healer, and the sentence about everyone thinking because she's dying the memories will go away) make such a dramatic impact.
I love that this piece is completely introverted. I think almost everyone has watched someone go through the battle of Cancer. My mom had lymphoma (and has been in remission for ten years!) and it's a really emotional thing. But most of us have never had to endure it ourselves. So reading the piece from Rose's prospective, who is dying from such a terrible thing, instead of the prospective of family member watching her go through it is something I really, really liked in such a sad way.
I think the way you managed her emotions -- her anger, her annoyance at the fact that it just keeps going when it's all pointless because her life *will* end, her frustration with wanting to do so much but having the energy to do nothing.. it was all handled so beautifully. You didn't sugar coat this, and that's what I love the most.
I'm so happy I stumbled my way over here, and really look forward to starting your Bill and Fleur fic!!
♥ Jami Report Review
Wow. This was just so beautiful and emotional! I was really sucked into the story, even though it wasn't that long.
It felt really refreshing to me, to read about Rose in a different light. She was extremely uncliched - if that is a word - and I really liked that about her. I especially liked how she realized that she wasn't going to get better, that all was going to go downhill from now. It seems that in stories like these, the main character is always so happy until the end. So therefore Rose seemed extremely realistic.
I just have to say that I love the fact that you had Nymphadora as Rose's middle name. It seemed so sweet and perfectly fitting.
Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa! Report Review
You really have a knack for one-shots, Lottie, and I say that very seriously -- you've written two of my all-time favorite ones, and now you've packed a pretty tough emotional punch with this one. I'm really enjoying getting to read more and more of your writing, as varied the time between my doing so is!
I think one of the more refreshing pieces about this story, ironic as it may seem to say so, is that Rose is very much under no illusions about her fate. So often in fictional portrayals of things like -- well, like cancer, then those experiencing it are chipper and positive and wholesome and upbeat to the very last. And while it probably does some good to imagine people that way, I think from a purely objective viewpoint (as I cannot speak from experience) that the reality is probably more like what you've painted here. Rose is not a happy person, not by any means, and I sympathize all the more with her for that. She is grumpy and moody and bitter and I think that's not only a brave depiction of the thing, but very possibly a true one. It might not have been the easiest thing in the world, and that's why I admire it.
You write in such a lovely, mellifluous style, too. Each word seems carefully chosen, and there's a lovely, natural imagery -- the sun and the nighttime -- and then just beautiful imagery in general -- the parallel of fading words to Rose's imminent death -- that serve to juxtapose just how sad the story really is. And I do feel sad for Rose, just because you can tell, even in her narrative, there's too much life in her for her to die just yet. But you've let me down gently in the writing of it, style-wise, and I'm okay with that. :3
And one more quick thing: I love the bit in your author's note, where you mention that if you hadn't used Rose's name, this story could have been about anyone. And that's so true -- it really is. We really are not that different. I loved the way you phrased that. ♥
I know I've said it before, but I really do need to make it a better habit to come over here and read more of your writing! You are talented, Lottie dear. :) I really enjoyed this!Author's Response: Aww, Rachel, you're too lovely to me :3 It's true that I do enjoy writing in snippet form, and certainly don't have an aversion to one-shots, because they let you try genres out so easily! and thank you so much; your lovely reviews are invaluable as help to improve my writing :D
Interestingly, that's exactly why I wanted to write this in the first place - because in so many stories, the main character is so chipper, at least towards the end, and if this ever happened to me, I know I'd not be a hopeful and happy angel but a moody one. There's just not much to go off. So I'm glad it seems original and refreshing, because I just felt like dispelling the illusions (though attaining coherency in my ideas was difficult!)
Aww, thank you so much! :3 I do enjoy writing descriptively, though because it so often gets out of hand, cutting this one-shot down so it could fit into the EWC counts challenge (and not making it) helped me to pick and choose ideas carefully. I'd be tempted to do it again, since I do love my imagery, and I am glad it didn't come across as unnatural or pretentious! Although I'm glad that her life seeps through - it just felt when I was writing that she was wanting to escape, live anywhere else, be someone else; but I don't want to depress readers, either :P
Ooh that actually occurred to me at the beginning of this story; was trying to decide who to write for, and couldn't decide for a long time. So eep! Thank you :)
Aww thank you so much, Rachel! I do so enjoy getting your reviews, and thank you for such a lovely one here too :D Report Review
This is a lovely chapter, and a really moving way of showing Rose's emotions in the time before her death. It's a topic that generally isn't touched upon, and if it is, it is done so lightly and romanticised. You've done it very realistically, showing the anger and horribleness of it, and I thought it was very well written.
As before, there were a couple of points I wasn't sure on. Is she at a muggle hospital or a wizard one? Because at first the doctors say she will be sleeping more, but then she always wanted to be a healer, and then she talks about the doctors not being able to heal her...and it's all a bit confusing. Also, I'm not sure about the "cake" simile. It's fantastic at first, when you're talking about the timer, but personally I'm not sure if the rest of it (getting the cakes out) makes sense.
However, one of my favourite paragraphs was the one where people "pretend to understand". I know I do this when someone is upset and hurting, but I also know how annoying it is when people do it to you -- they just don't know what to say, and I think you captured her annoyance wonderfully.
I also really like how you had many short and brief sentences, as if signalling how close she is to death (I'm sorry, that's really analytical... I was just analysing a poem in English and I think it has transferred here, haha)
Once again, another wonderful one-shot, captured magnificently in under 700 words, congratulations!
And also I think you've got 30,000 now?! Congratulations, that is truly amazing :-) Megan xoAuthor's Response: Thankyou! Yes, I've always noticed the lack of muggle-illness-type stories, and I just tried to write what I thought it would be like for her.
She's meant to be at a muggle hospital, drawing parallels between healers and doctors. And yes, I may go back and edit that! It was a bit confusing at first, but I was just trying to make an ironic sort of simile.
Thankyou! I just thought it would be so unhelpful to someone who's the centre of it, so thanks :)
Hehe, thanks! It's good you can see it that way!
Thankyou! Yes, I have. Thanks NaNo-Mummy :D Report Review
Hey, its me obiviously. This is really good! I like how deep it is, its also so sad, I feel so sorry for her. :-( (and yes I have been trying to make the sad face cry but it won't work.)
I liked the line about the cakes and the ticking.
Going to read more now.Author's Response: Aw, thankyou! (and cry face is :'(, EFM) I'm glad you liked those lines - the cake was meant to be an ironically homely image that contrasted with it, but I don't know how many people got that! Report Review
Hi there! I'm here with your review as requested! :)
And holy cow! This piece was absolutely amazing. I am so glad you requested. This piece has absolutely fascinated me and mesmerized me. I see that you just want a general review, so I'm just going to give you my thoughts and all the things that were going through my mind. :)
I love how you started the piece out with those three simple sentences. They were gripping and enthralling. Just from then you had me captivated with the story and I had to know why Rose was dying. And just a random thought in my mind. Is Nymphadora really Roses's middle name? I don't know if it is, but if it isn't, I think you picked a perfect middle name for her. That's wonderful and such a sweet gesture to remember Tonks by. :) So I loved that.
I always tend to love pieces that focus on one character looking back at their life and their future in a way. I also love it when a piece has no dialogue. It just focuses so much more on the story at hand and the emotions. I've always felt like it conveys the story so much better. And in this piece, really the only dialogue was with the veins asking if it was the end, so it's easy to still consider this with no dialogue. :)
This was just absolutely beautiful. The way you wrote it was fascinating. It was gripping and moving. I nearly cried. Honestly. :) And I loved that you made Rose's sickness a muggle one. There aren't many fics on HPFF that have to do with muggle sicknesses. Actually, I feel like most authors don't consider the fact that wizards get sick too and it's all the same as muggles, and that they aren't immune to the muggle sicknesses. So I loved that the cause of Rose's impending death is due to cancer. Loved that.
And when Rose went on about being at St. Hope's hospital, I felt her pain and her emotion. You put some of her personality into all of it when she said "of nowhere." Just with something small like that you could feel her upset and her pain. There were so many other parts like this throughout the piece when I felt this way just by your word choice and descriptions.
This was beautiful and absolutely moving. It was so original and just fantastic. I have favorites this. :)
Thank you so much for requesting! I know I just kind of went on and on about the things I loved, but I can't really think of anything I didn't. So I do hope you find this review helpful in some way! :)
Thank you for introducing me to this piece! :)Author's Response: Ooh, thankyou so much for this amazing review! It's given me so much inspiration and strength to go on :)
I'm glad you like the start - I wasn't sure if it was a bit of a put-off or not! And I always imagined that Rose's middle name would be Nymphadora 'cause Tonks seemed to get left out of it all somehow with the naming business.
I always love really emotional pieces too, and at first it was hard to write, but I just got so into it! And it's because you never see muggle illnesses much that I wanted to write this - wizards are human too, and they wouldn't automatically be immune to it all.
Ohh thankyou about the hospital :) I couldn't stop writing her, and I'm glad you can feel her emotion too. And thankyou so much for this amazing review! Report Review
Why, god, why???How on earth did you create that feeling of angsty sadness? It's so ace and why did it have to be that short! I really like the way you describe Rose's feelings and I can relate to her loads, she doesn't deserve to dieAuthor's Response: thanks! Well, if you're interested, I've actually started a novel about Rose dying... but considering I already have three WIPs, it won't be up until The Left-Behinds is finished. I'm so glad you can relate to her, and yeah, she totally doesn't deserve to die (who does?) Report Review
Heya, its Laura! I hadn't visited your authors page in a while, but I'm glad I did because I spotted this lovely little one shot.
This was so heartbreaking to read, and yet at the same time there's a youthful invigoration between the muted tones and hopelessness, because after all, Rose is still young. It was difficult because the whole while you allowed me to put myself in her place and experience something that I really wouldn't want to, and yet at the end of it, its still so beautiful, and she's still alive...and after all, aren't we all counting down? It was just amazing, and so sad, too. I really enjoyed it, even though it made me sad. Wonderful.
L xxxAuthor's Response: Aw, thanks. I wanted to capture the short time Rose had been given, and I'm so glad you could get into her place. I'm so glad you liked it! I wanted to get the focus on the fact that though we're all counting down, it suddenly seems all the more clear to Rose. I'm so glad you liked it :) Report Review
This was heartbreaking. :S
It's always hard for me to read about terminal characters, because I also had to think about my own mortality after reading them. Teehee. I like the way you presented this story. I think your writing was impressive and there were definitely quite a few lines in here that took my breath away. For example:
"In the sunlight, it exposes truths I don't want to realise, condolences I don't want to recognise, and sympathy I don't want to receive."
Beautiful. Your style is rather captivating. And I think you've managed to capture Rose's anguish. She sounded so depressed and resigned and a little embittered here. I felt for her.
This was a very well-written and thoughtful piece. I'm glad I read it. :)
xtinjsc (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: Ah, thanks! I know what you mean about the mortality after reading. It really strikes you after, and it came down on me hard after writing this. And I'm glad you think I've captured Rose's anguish - it was hard to put myself so completely in her place, so it's good to know you think I did it ok! Thanks :) Report Review
Wow...well, that was really emotional...really sad... really and many more really. I... felt so sorry for Rose. Cancer is such a horrible thing. As Rose said, she couldn't even know when the end would come. You described it so painfully: waiting for death to come, eventually, but still be afraid of that moment. The idea of the heart beating as a non-stopping "Is this the end?" was really good! And she was only sixteen... I can't imagine how it it to feel that at sixteen... Just like a nightmare...
GryffindorAuthor's Response: Ah, thankyou! It was quite painful to write, because cancer is close to my heart, and it was hard to put myself in Rose's place so completely. But I hope I managed it ok! I'm glad you like the idea of the heart; it would be quite nightmarish to know you're killing yourself. Report Review
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