Reading Reviews for Finding Lily
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLane Finding Friends

12th October 2012:
Really looking forward to seeing where you place Lily and Molly. The fact that you have Albus in Ravenclaw and that Lily isn't sure where she wants to be placed makes me think there might be surprises in store.

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Review #2, by Woodrow Rynne Finding Friends

19th November 2011:
Hey! This is very promising start to a story. There aren't many Lily stories, and I love this one already. And that whole 'not knowing that their parents are war heroes' thing? It's actually really canon, isn't it? I mean, in the epilogue it is mentioned that Albus doesn't know why everyone is staring at his dad. But they would know someday, wouldn't they? I mean, the other students at Hogwarts are bound to know about it, right?

Anyway, there weren't any spelling/grammatical errors to distract from the story, and all in all this is a very nice start. I don't know why this doesn't have more reviews. :)

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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter Finding Friends

25th September 2011:
Why is Frank just now starting Hogwarts when he's twelve? Was he homeschooled? Anyways, I really like that the adults didn't add anymore pressure on the kids by telling them about what had happened in the past with Lord Whats-his-name. I like it though, it seems alot different from all the other stories that I've been scrolling through.

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Review #4, by Crimson Zeal Finding Friends

19th September 2011:
Liking this so far! I love Lily, she's just so cute and squishy, haha.

It is strange, though, that none of their parents have really shared the whole "I kinda sorta maybe saved the wizarding world" kind of thing, but I like the premise! It's different than what you would normally see in Next Generation stories. :) I wonder why they haven't told their children much about it?

Wonder what Houses they'll all be in... I'm willing to bet Lily's either a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff... who knows, I might be surprised :P

Good start!

Author's Response: Thank you! You'll find out the rest of it as the story goes ;) Glad you like it!
~Lily


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Review #5, by Atomic The Sorting

22nd August 2011:
Hello again!!

This chapter was sooo sweet! Poor little Lily, I wonder when she'll find out just how famous her parents really are. I'm glad you didn't put her in Gryffindor, though. It really helped with her character development and it definitely defined her as her own person.

No critiques for this chapter! If anything, I would say that Lily's sorting could have been a bit longer but it was still very nicely done.

You did an excellent job with the plot flow, too. Sorting chapters are usually really drawn out and boring, but this was not. Great job with the story!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reviewing!! You'll find out through the story. Me and LilyFire debated but we decided we didn't want her in Gryffindor, I think it was the first thing we said actually :) No crit? Really?! I did feel her sorting was a bit rushed but I'm never good with sortings. Thanks for the kind review, it means a lot to us both!
Lilypotterfan123 x


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Review #6, by Atomic Finding Friends

22nd August 2011:
Hi there, it's Atomic from the forums responding to your review request!

I'm so glad you haven't made Lily a carbon copy of Ginny and Molly a carbon copy of Percy. I find that in a lot of Next-Gen fics all the children turn out to be exactly like your parents. I really like how you've given them their own personalities.

My only critique to you here is your description. Going off to Hogwarts for the first time would have been a really exciting and nerve-wrecking experience. I realize that Lily would have been used to the train station by now, but I think the excitement level could have been a bit higher. A great place to add in more description would have been the boat scene. This is the first time Lily saw Hogwarts, and that gives you a lot of room to describe her emotions and experience with that.

Overall though, I really liked this chapter. The dialogue was believable and realistic, and you did a wonderful job with characterization.

Author's Response: I probably should have gone into a little more detail with her emotions when she first saw Hogwarts...

But I'm really glad you like the characters. We really didn't want them to be just like their parents, and I'm glad that really came through :) Thank you for the review!

~Lily


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Review #7, by Manga_girl The Sorting

21st August 2011:
Again, I love this story. I see what Lily means about beeing sorted into Hufflepuff, I guess she just wanted to be with her family nad friends.
Love it,
Emma xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I think she did, but she's still a little self conscious about it. I'm glad you love the story,
Lilypotterfan123 x


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Review #8, by Manga_girl Finding Friends

21st August 2011:
I really like this chapter, your characters are good and so is your description. I like the way it is in firt person, that really does something for this! I like the characters a lot, the way Lily just wants to be at Hogwarts and doesnt care about anything else and how Molly is just GRYFFINDOR GRYFFINDOR! I cant wait to read more!
Emma xx

Author's Response: Thanks! It's not in first person...but I'm glad you like it anyway. And I'm glad you like the characters.
~Lily


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Review #9, by NaidatheRavenclaw Finding Friends

18th August 2011:
I really enjoyed this!

One of my favorite things about this was that Molly and Lily were not only in the same year, but also friends. I think Molly is overlooked in a lot of NextGen, and when she is mentioned, she's often Percy Jr. You seem to be giving her a personality of her own though, which is absolutely great! And that alone makes me want to read on.

Lily seems to be quite a character of her own. My first impression of her is curious, easy going, and warm hearted. I always like to tell author's my first impressions of the characters so they know if they're putting the right traits out, lol. So if that's the kind of personality you're going for, you're definitely doing well!

I did catch a few grammar errors in this. Nothing major, but there were a couple. For example, "Merlin Molly, did you have to yell at him?" There should be a comma after Merlin ;)

Overall, I think it's a great first chapter to what looks like a happy, light hearted story. I really enjoyed it :D
-Naida

Author's Response: Thank you! That's exactly what we were going for in the beginning. And I'm glad you picked up on Molly not being alot like Percy, as that's actually a pretty important part. We'll be reading over it and editing as we can :) Thank you for the wonderful review :)

~Lily


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Review #10, by Strings Finding Friends

18th August 2011:
Hey :)

A few things I thought about while reading this -
I don't think Harry and Ginny are so... smoochy (?) that way. Also, couldn't she come across who weren't sons and daughters of her parents' friends? I assume there were thousands of students out there... Does she want to get a bit out of the group of people she already knew, or rather stay really close to them, because maybe she IS after all nervous, now that it's finally here?
Isn't she the slightest bit worried about anything? About meeting other people, or school, or teachers, or houses? Not at ALL? Hogwarts might be great, but it's a huge change from home. Changes are always scary, just because it's unknown, not familiar.
Plus, I noticed there weren't many discriptions. (For example, the boats. That part is an obvious shock for every first year since they don't know about it at first. It was just mentioned as an obvious part of the way) If you're writing this out of Lily's POV, I think it would be great if there were more of it. Now that it's her going to Hogwarts, even normal things like the train or all the wizards around are bound to look different.

(Did she prepare herself to Hogwarts in any way? Tried to study something or do magic voluntarily? Because if she didn't, be careful not to make her look like a whiner. It's okay once a year when everybody else get to go, but it stops being cute when you do it all the time, don't you think?)

I loved your humor, and the way Lily don't seem to know about the heroes of the second war, how you dealt with it. (isn't "vague" a bit of a big word for a 12 year old?)

Nice start, and good luck!

Author's Response: I think that I myself would rather be with someone I know when facing something new and possibly scary and other than seeing him a few times, she didn't really know Frank at all. As you can see, some characters did do what you asked-Hugo, for example.

As for the boats, I think there are too many older cousins and much to much history of Hogwarts with her fam being who they are for her not to already know quite alot about the castle. And I don't really think she whined any in this chapter anyway.

And lastly, as far a 'vague' being a big word for an eleven year old, my nephews were using bigger words at nine and ten.

I'm glad you at least liked the humor of the chapter. Thank you for the review.

~Lily


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