Reading Reviews for The Lonely Ones
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by shoveitsunshine Youth and the Young

3rd June 2012:
This is a different look on Rose/Scorpius, but I do like it, and Rose's thought process is interesting...

Author's Response: I was trying to do something a little bit different - I love Rose/Scorpius as a ship and so don't like making things difficult for them, but that does mean that everything I write about them tends to be the same... I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #2, by charlottetrips Youth and the Young

29th July 2011:
This was beautifully written. I love the flow of your writing (which includes "Masterpiece"), how the thoughts flow seemlessly one to the next. The descriptions are fanciful yet down-to-earth.

I actually really liked this story mainly because ScoRose tends to be "meant to be" and "perfect" type stories. This does show the foolishness of those who move too fast without thoughts to the consequences.

"You’ve learnt that you should never listen to your heart; it has nothing at all worth saying." This line, I felt, just embodied the whole story--the innocence of young love and the bitterness that can follow.

xChar

Author's Response: Yaaay I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I often struggle over descriptions, so that's especially nice to hear :)

That was my inspiration for this story, really - the fact that Rose and Scorpius are so often shown to be madly in love with each other, but this is usually only while they're at school, and post-school Scorose stories are a little bit rarer, I think. So I thought I'd write something where yes, they were madly in love at sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, but then what happened?

I'm glad you liked that line, I must say I'm quite fond of it myself :P Thanks for all your lovely comments!


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Review #3, by Chaos Walking. Youth and the Young

27th July 2011:
I know, I know. My next review was supposed to be Masterpiece and I promise I will get round to it (I might go over there after this actually but no promises).

Carrying on from my last review, I haven't gotten round to reading broken but I did go off and read Star Light, Star Bright by shenanigan and It. Was. Amazing.(although he does always write amazing stuff - The Silence of the Night is one of y all time favourite fanfics) I should probably be telling her this but I'm too lazy and hardly ever write reviews 'cept for you ofcourse :)

And combined with your stories - I officially hate ScoRose a little less. I'll come 'round eventually in what will be a very slow process that includes reading 1000s of them in ratio of 1:50 of amazing:awful.

Your story made me feel sorry for Rose in the same way I felt sorry for Lavender in It's Only Love. Yes, I see that Rose's life is pretty sucky but it's only because she won't do anything about it.

Actually when I think about there's a lot more comparisons that could be made between these two stories. Which extends a bit further than just their overly-pessimistic and very angsty outlook on love (which I do love by the way) and the both women being somewhat submissive to their husbands. After careful consideration I've decided not to get into that because I honestly don't think you'd want to read an essay type thing where i compare two of your pieces.

I'm really happy that you wrote this in second person - can't help but love it. (ooh just like your other story. okay, that was most definitely the last comparison I make)

The way they've settled down and how Scorpius already has a routine and apart form Rose's constant whinging (She's just married for God's sakes, her life is not over!) their life seems to be pretty okay. Kinda sweet. Like their already an old married couple. And then i realised that their only 21. And boy is that depressing!

I have nothing against marrying young but maybe these two should've waited and if they had waited 'til they had money and a house and a job (because love is really not enough by itself) then maybe, just maybe they would've been a bit happier and Rose would've loved him as much as she used to. (and despite what anyone says I still stick by the opinion that Ron will never come 'round and like Scorpius. Ever.)

I'm not so sure about Scorpius because somewhere along the line - probably the bit where he proposed - I got the feeling that he needed to be loved and when he found that in Rose he didn't want to let her go. I took the liberty of giving him a more in-depth personality/back story because this piece is terribly short and its more Rose-centered. I made it so that this Scorp's parents were a bit distant and pureblood-ish and so he came out a bit insecure. I think he was too scared that if he didn't marry her straight out of school then he could possible lose her. (At least that what I came up with anyways)

I don't hate Rose in this but I'm not mad about her either. I liked he a lot more than in rip the earth in two because she was plain horrible in that. And at least in here i kind of understand where she's coming from.

I do, however, have one question. What was she embarrassed about? What is just her life in general? Was it his job? The fact that she married young? That she though love was enough? Am I being really thick and missing something obvious?

Actually I lied. I have one more questions:

When she goes on about "forget what should never be forgotten, forgive what cannot be forgiven." Did something happen between them two? Did he cheat on her or something? or Was it her just being dramatic?

Spelling and grammar-wise there were hardly any mistakes. Just a few things that caught my attention:
- "That’s when it started, of course. That was when it ended." I think it would sound better if you changed the That's to That was.
- "You’ve learnt that you should never listen to your heart; it has nothing at all worth saying." I think. I think commas on either side of at all?
- "You regret what you’d said to him now. You’d said that you were sorry too." I think that the tense change is a bit abrupt. I think changing it them both to past tense would sound better.

Overall good job. I can't wait for the third part.

- ChaosWalking.

P.S. Have you watched Deathly hallows part 2? Wasn't it amazing?

P.P.S. Seeing as this review it so long would you be terribly angry if I post-phoned the Masterpiece review for some other time?

P.P.P.S Absolutely beautiful banner by the way!!

P.P.P.P.S This getting ridiculous now isn't it? I always leave these useless P.S's don't I? hmmm. I should probably get out of that habit.

Author's Response: Aww, THANK YOU! I always get so excited when I see you've reviewed, mainly because you leave the longest reviews I've ever seen (which is definitely a good thing, don't worry!)

I love how you're actually apologising to me for reviewing this xD I don't mind at all! There is a new chapter of Masterpiece up though, if you happen to be heading that way...

Oh I know, shenanigan is amazing - I actually think I might have cried at The Silence of the Night, it was so beautiful.

Scorose stories can be really brilliant, just like with any other ship... it's just that it's such a popular ship that there are an awful lot of cliches associated with it.

Oh I know, I love second person too. I don't quite know what it is about it, I always just think it gives stories a certain... something... that can work really well. Glad you liked it here!

Scorpius's little routine was meant to represent the monotony of their life now, and yep they're definitely meant to seem like an old married couple - that's partly why Rose is so depressed. Also, just as you said, she's realised that love isn't enough, and that if they had waited then they would now be more stable and secure etc. Haha aww, I like to think Ron would come round to Scorp eventually, a little bit at least, and then at Christmases he'd get drunk and start making lots of Malfoy-bashing jokes... No? Just me? Ok xD

I think I've said before how much I love Scorp, so I usually have him as the good guy, but I think here the blame is a bit more evenly spread between the pair of them. He's regretting their decisions too, and doesn't love her as much as he used to either. BUT, it is still a little bit more Rose's fault (because I just don't like her), as I will explain in a moment...

Oooh I do rather like that version of Scorpius's background, it fits well with this story. I'll pretend that was what I was thinking all along (when actually I didn't really have a backstory worked out at all for him)... ahem.

Right. Rose. Yes, she's definitely better than she was in rip the earth in two, but she still wasn't meant to be entirely likeable here. She's rather annoying because she just keeps moaning about her life, and a bit weak as well, because she isn't willing to do anything to improve her situation. The premise for this story was that she and Scorpius have been together from a young age and were madly in love, but have also had the whole star-crossed romance, my-father-hates-your-father type thing: one of the main Scorose cliches (I'm allowed to say this, as I wrote a story exactly like that :P). So what I was trying to explore here was how they deal with life once they've left school.

The idea is that no matter how "madly in love" they were, they weren't prepared for the realities of life with each other. And then the thing about her being embarrassed, and the "forgetting... forgiving..." bit is a vague reference to another cliche - Rose's whole family hating Scorpius because of what his parents and grandparents did. When they were at school, sheltered from the real world, she felt his history didn't matter, and besides, she loved him enough not to care about it. Now that she's out in the big wide world, she's realised that it matters more than she thought (I always like to have the old Death Eaters/Slytherins face quite a lot of difficulty/discrimination in the post-war world). The part about her parents disapproving of them was a lot to do with this as well.

So yeah... that's not terrible clear is it? I'll be revisiting that then. Don't worry, you're not being thick at all xP

the P.S.'s: DH was so amazing, absolutely loved it!! Haha I don't mind at all - I don't expect reviews from you, you know xP I'm very grateful to get anything at all. Thank you, the TDA artists are amazing aren't they? I wish I could do graphics :(

Thank you, again! :D


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