Reading Reviews for The Silver Moon
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Libran_Storm The Meeting at Mad-Eye Moodys'

13th October 2011:
Wow, I really love this story. Just thought I'd tell you!!!

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Review #2, by adluvshp The Message

12th August 2011:
Hey there. This is me AD again.

Okay this was certainly an interesting chapter.
I liked how you describe your characters in so much detail. That is quite good.
The narrative of the entire scene and MOM was well-captured too. The little descriptions here and there added a nice touch.
I also liked Tonks' characterization. She is very much in-character. It all came naturally too.
I think this was all done really well too. The plot is deepening and the story is headed in good direction.
Only one pointer though, in the last paragraph, I think you have used the word "Tonks" a lot. Try and tone it down a bit, using pronouns =)
Rest, all was good. This made a nice read.
Feel free to re-request!

9/10

Cheers!
AD

Forum Name: AditiDraco95
House: SLYTHERIN

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely reviews :-)

I'm ever so nearly done with my next chapter now, but had to delete my first chapter due to repeating myself, so just wanna say thanks for taking the time to read that one!

I re-read the end paragraph and I do use Tonks a lot in that bit, I did do an edit, but I can't remember if I changed it now!

I'm glad you think i'm writing Tonks in character, as that was my biggest worry really. So thanks for reading and reviewing :D x


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Review #3, by DracoFerret11 The Message

9th August 2011:
Me again!

Well, this was a really great chapter! It's cool to see Tonks in her "natural setting," so to say. Her characterization is really good, too, and the details you threw in about her clumsiness and impatience were great.

A couple things I might consider changing: you say that Mad-Eye is like an overprotective "big brother" to Tonks, but I think saying he's more like a father to her would seem more accurate. Mad-Eye's really old to even be considered a brother in a friendly-way, y'know?

Also, you had a line that said: "She could barely keep her concentration on her work, and made a whole host of clumsy mistakes, such as knocking a whole vial of black ink all over her work." Here's just a small mistake, but 'vial' should be 'bottle,' I think. Right?

Other than those things, though, you've done really wonderfully! Keep up the good work!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thanks :-)

Vial did sound right in my head when I was writing it, but thinking about it now it should be bottle.

And I've changed it to uncle now, it seemed silly saying father figure, as Tonks already has a real dad. But I just couldn't think of any other family members at the time!

Unfortunately, I've just had to delete my first chapter, as I realised that I have to basically write it all again for my next chapter... oops!

But thanks for the review!



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