Reading Reviews for Thin Ice
  
58 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Doctor visits and Mary Jane

26th October 2012:
I just read Duck and Cover and these chapters and they were great. It's such a shame you haven't finished it, it was such an awesome story!

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Review #2, by rupertgrintislove Doctor visits and Mary Jane

28th July 2012:
Soo.. love love love your story JS :) Just read the first part and everything you have for your sequel and it is by far my fav fic :) Amazing characters, please update soon! Keep it up! :)
-rupertgrintislove

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Review #3, by A Doctor visits and Mary Jane

29th April 2012:
I loved duck and cover and I'd love to see more of the passionate side of sirius and avery's love despite the fact she is pregnant. Loved this chapter and hope you write more soon

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Review #4, by Cm Doctor visits and Mary Jane

11th March 2012:
PLEASE UPDATE SOON ..!

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Review #5, by JeSuisEscargot Doctor visits and Mary Jane

3rd March 2012:
lolololol
this chapter is far funnier than the other two
its been forever since you've written!

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Review #6, by harrypotterfreak1414 No More celebrating

9th January 2012:
This is freaking amazing! I just read Duck in Cover in one night (and subsequently slept through my only class today) but that's ok because its so good!

Your a very talented writer and do a great job expanding into a character's depth. One thing though, developing the characters further, might be a good goal. You have thoroughly develeped characters, but making them more "real" allows the reader to better relate, which is the goal of a writer. We all know Sirius' past but maybe expanding on that into the future with the war and his impending marriage and child. As well in Cassi possibly, she is still relatively static but would be interesting to develop, her traits, history, mannerisms etc. Avery is very well done, I'd like to see more reflection in the situation with her Dad and how that will determine how she prepares/raises her baby, and how she deals with the very stressfulness of the entire situation.

Your plot lines are absolutely superb and you do an excellent job of balancing dialogue with expository writing. One critique here is that be careful of changes tenses (You're probably already aware) But I've noticed in the first novel quite a bit of change between passive, past, present etc. It's simply a matter of editing since everyone's first drafts are like this. Keep going :) You're a very skilled and talented writer, I hope this encouraged you to post more :)

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Review #7, by Lillylover22 Doctor visits and Mary Jane

19th December 2011:
haha she was high!! does being high bad for the baby?? UDATE!! 9/10 =]

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Review #8, by Lillylover22 No More celebrating

19th December 2011:
her mother was harsh. 9/10 =]

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Review #9, by Lillylover22 Happy birthday Avery

19th December 2011:
i thought avery was pregnaunt. im glad that sirius took the news well. her poor dad. 9/10 =]

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Review #10, by EmilyBlack Doctor visits and Mary Jane

26th October 2011:
I absolutely love you story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #11, by gocnocturna Doctor visits and Mary Jane

16th October 2011:
i hope drugs aren't too bad for the baby, can't be good. wizards are so ignorant sometimes. lol. great start to what I"m sure will be an amazing sequel!

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Review #12, by Amethyst Doctor visits and Mary Jane

3rd October 2011:
I love this story. I usually pick out the most depressing stories when looking for romance. I have read more Sirius/OC stories that end with the girl dying (usually she is pregnant as well) then I ever wanted to. It never even hints that it will happen. I mean everything is great and then BAM...dead girl. Anyway (sorry I tend to ramble) I love it. Keep writing.

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Review #13, by AaheliBlack Doctor visits and Mary Jane

2nd October 2011:
Love it! Avery is very believable, and despite what most fics say, I think a clumsy, awkward girl is the type of person Sirius would fall for (getting my hopes up trololololol). By honestly, I love your writing style. Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! And I love clumsy awkward girls! Mainly because I am one :P Trying to get the next chapter up!!

~Lauren


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Review #14, by Lfg Doctor visits and Mary Jane

24th September 2011:
love this and the previous story so far, cant wait for the next update!
-Lfg

Author's Response: Thank you!

~Lauren


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Review #15, by BellatrixisFred Doctor visits and Mary Jane

9th September 2011:
I am scared to read on because I know eventually Lily and James die, maybe Avery too. Unless this is a tangent version where things turn out differently from JK's version of course. So should I be afraid?

Really glad there's a sequel to duck and cover regardless, very enjoyable.

10/10

Author's Response: Well I hope you continue to read it, despite the ultimate outcome! And no, it's not goign to end -too- differently than JK's ending, sorry :/ I feel like that's too much of a cop-out, ya know?
~Lauren


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Review #16, by Cecelia Doctor visits and Mary Jane

7th September 2011:
The end of this chapter.Oh.I laughed SOO hard.

So hard.

Excellent job.

Author's Response: Aw thanks!

~Lauren


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Review #17, by Drmjk73 Doctor visits and Mary Jane

31st August 2011:
Really enjoying your book. This chapter is probably one of your best! Duck and cover was a treat and I am patiently(sort of) waiting for you to continue thin ice. Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much :) Glad you likd it!

~Lauren


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Review #18, by MaraudersFan123 Doctor visits and Mary Jane

29th August 2011:
Please write more? Makes silly puppy dog face.

Author's Response: I am trying!!!

~Lauren


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Review #19, by Kim. Doctor visits and Mary Jane

28th August 2011:
LOL. woo.! keep writing. I've never been a big fan of the Marauders Era...but your story is the very first one I've read & one of the best, too.! I can't believe I've just started reading it this week & actually ended up at this point. Keep writing & please update soon.! Oh & a question...isn't it bad to smoke weed, when you're pregnant? LOL.

Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it! One of the best? You flatter!! I'm glad you liked it so much!

~LAuren


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Review #20, by Nuffster No More celebrating

27th August 2011:
For a moment I thought that this chapter's a bit unrealistic - I mean, settling down at the age of 17?! But then I realised that this was in the '70s... xD
I like it, great job. The only thing that I don't like is the fact that guys like Sirius from the story don't really exist. But, I guess it's not your fault :P

Author's Response: Ha yes and I feel like during the time of war people wanted to settle down quickly, I'm in the military and this applies strongly. And yeah I know, know real Sirius's, but that's why it's a story right?

~lauren


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Review #21, by doglover No More celebrating

26th August 2011:
sirisu and james are something else :)

Author's Response: Haha indeed they are :P

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Review #22, by doglover Happy birthday Avery

26th August 2011:
lol that was grreat :) yay for Sirius he reacted perfectly!!!

Author's Response: Thank you :)

~Lauren


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Review #23, by sweetredrose Doctor visits and Mary Jane

26th August 2011:
I liked this chapter however a few things sprang to mind. Firstly, in England we call them 'crisps' rather than 'chips'. Here, we refer to fries as 'chips' so it's a little confusing. I'm not sure if we have Cheetos in England either, as I've never seen them, but don't quote me on that. Also, I did like the fact that they were all getting stoned but I don't think Sirius would be happy about it if he wasn't happy with the idea of Avery drinking whilst pregnant, as it's advised that women don't take drugs whilst pregnant too.
xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for the British-isms :) And drugs weren't as common knowledge back then, especially in the wizasrding world.

~Lauren


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Review #24, by HannahJoyWeber No More celebrating

18th August 2011:
i can't believe she reacted like that! granted, if i told my mom i was pregnant at 18, she would freak out, but she would still hear me out about what i wanted.

~Hannah~

Author's Response: Yes well all parents react differerently, just think of all Avery's mom has gone through in the last year, it's quite a lot.

~Lauren


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Review #25, by HannahJoyWeber Happy birthday Avery

18th August 2011:
i was super excited to see this is up! and i disagree with you about your uneasiness. i thought this chapter was written well. i also think a cassi story would be enjoyable.

~Hannah~

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

~Lauren


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