Wow, I've never read a story that looks at the Marauder's plan to turn into Animagi - or more, Remus' reaction to finding out that his three friends are Animagi, and this was very well done, it read like something JKR would've written.
Speaking of something JKR wrote, the way you've characterized the Marauder's is very simillar to how I imagine them, and indeed how i guess JKR would've written them.
-RHAuthor's Response: I really wanted to explore all the significant moments in the Marauders days and this one stood out to me. Becoming Animagi for Remus was a huge risk and I've written it before, but just writing about Remus and how he realizes what they've done for him, the magnitude of that...it's so lovely. Such wonderful friends they are.
I'm so pleased to hear my characterizations are similar to how you imagine them to be. But if people keep comparing me to JK then my ego might be too big to fit through the door!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I really appreciate them. Report Review
Great story. I didn't see much that was wrong with anything. I will have to read through the rest of your stories. You writing style is growing on me.
AJPotterAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)
That was a wonderful first chapter! I think it did a good job of luring readers in. The flow was excellent, and the story was very easy to understand. I think all four of the Marauders' characterizations were perfect. The description was very vivid. All in all, beautifully written!
I've never really read a fic about the Marauders' escapades during their school years. I should read more of these! Remus' confusion seemed very realistic, and you explained through his thoughts why he was confused, which was wonderful.
I can barely make any critiques! This was just written so exceptionally! I love your writing style. All in all, this was an amazing start to your story! Keep on writing! :D
~RosieAuthor's Response: Hi Rosie!
Thank you so much. This story was actually meant to be a one-shot but because of it's discontinuity between parts and the length, it was easier to break it into three parts. I'm glad the first part makes you want to continue to read.
I adore the Marauders - they're some of my favorite characters in the series despite not knowing much about them as children. It's always fun to try my hand at writing them as school-aged boys; there's a lot of banter and wrestling going around. ;)
Marauders fics can be great, or they can be riddled with horrible cliches. You've really got to find the gems out there, but they're certainly worth it when you do.
I like to place myself into character's shoes so that I can make emotions and actions as realistic as possible, so I'm really glad that Remus's confusion came across well.
No critiques is good! I'm happy with that. Thank you so much for such a kind, lovely review. I really, really appreciate it. :) Report Review
I have so many emotions upon reading this last chapter and I don't even know where they're coming from. It's just like... these are the Marauders, the way they needed to be written, and I sort of half-hoped I wouldn't have to see this stark and cold reality of what happened to them. And I've actually got literal tears in my eyes right now. I feel like I've lost good friends and been betrayed by good friends, and these are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS but I am so close to flat-out crying.
I apologize in advance for the nature of the rest of this review, it's sort of difficult for me to type at the moment.
I think throughout this entire thing, your strong point was, and is, your characterization of the relationships among the boys. Sirius and James, and then James and Lily -- two totally different dynamics, and it's an amazingly thin line that you trod with ease. Oh my gosh, it is so real and I cannot even fathom how you did it. One of the most hard-hitting lines was when Lily said her son wouldn't 'be a pawn in this war'. That's such painful and artistic foreshadowing, I just -- I'm not going to lie, I clicked off the page to digest it. I've never had to do that with fic before.
And then PETER'S PART. Oh my gosh, you do Peter so much justice. You don't whitewash over his nastier points, certainly -- he more than likely would not have shed tears of remorse -- but then you turned around and credited him, too. And that is so hard to do and I cannot even express how inspirational it is, you know, that you did that. And the confrontation with Sirius. That's so canon. It is so canon. I am at a complete and utter loss for words and I'm so sorry this review is so repetitive and generally unhelpful. I've got this end-of-an-era thing going on right now, and I am more sad than I ever expected that I reached the end of this story. I guarantee you that I'll come back and re-read -- this has given my own story massive inspirations. I haven't written it in a couple of weeks in favor of more pressing writing stuff, but this makes me want to turn back to it like mad. It is my Marauders canon.
That last line was literally the best I can think of at the moment, fic or otherwise. One story summed up in five words and it takes a genius to do it with that amount of justice. I just... Oh goodness. I cannot phrase things anymore. I am still full of all the emotions.
This was so brilliant, Missy. And I mean that -- it's so genuinely good, I have no qualms that, should JKR ever stumble across it, she would find not one fault in it. You are so true to her story while making your own and this story is what fan fiction was made for. ♥
I am horrible at ending reviews, so it'll end so -- thank you for writing this.Author's Response:
I have been unable to respond to this review forever. Part of it is because I'm a slacker but also because there's NO WORDS to express how much I adore this review and how you almost made me cry.
These are MY Marauders and I just can't get over how much you adore them too. Every time I read a new Marauder fic, I wish their story could change. It's just so unbelievably tragic and my heart hurts for them so I am totally okay with you getting teary-eyed too.
Gah, their relationships are just so easy to write for some reason. Maybe since I've been writing them for so long. I really love that line you pulled out because, like you said, it's foreshadowing Harry's role in the second war. I'm so glad this affected you as much as it did just because coming from you, that's just like..this huge compliment and I can't get over how it makes me feel as a writer to read these words coming from YOU - someone that I admire.
Peter! I really wanted to write a fic where Peter played such an integral role and yeah, at first glance, it may seem like his parents are shorter than the others (and you can make the assumption that shorter = not as important) but Peter was such a behind-the-scenes character. It's kind of amazing how much he got away with. I think I told you about your canon comment, but I have to lol again because of stupid MNFF rejecting my fic for being non-canon.
I was worried that that last line would seem kind of out of place, but it ties everything together - full circle.
I...gahh, I cannot believe how choked up I'm getting MONTHS later when reading your review. You are seriously so kind and I love you and thank you for leaving me this beautiful review. Thank you. Report Review
You write the Marauders so well it seems like canon, like the events we know happened really happened in this way that you've written them in. Almost like J.K. Rowling herself wrote the Marauders. I've been meaning to read your stories for a while now because I've heard how canon and like J.K. Rowling's writing they were, and I'm glad I've managed to start reading this one because I absolutely love it. It's making me love reading Marauder fanfics again since I went through a bout of not wanting to read any Marauder fanfics because most are cliched. But yours isn't cliche in the least and it's very real.
The way you've characterised each boy is exactly the way I've imagined them in my mind. Excellent writing. :)Author's Response: The Marauders are my favorite characters and I'm so ridiculously pleased that you think of them as canon-like. I'm glad you chose this story too - I loved writing them in their younger days and the banter between them is so fun! Marauder fanfics can be monotonous with all the cliches, but I do try to stay away from as much of those as possible.
Thank you for the review. It means a lot to me. :) Report Review
Ack! I'm a bit tardy with this review -- almost immediately upon agreeing to swap, I realized it was 11 o' clock and I had yet to shower. And as I've got to head back to school tomorrow, being disgusting wasn't a huge option. So, here I am, late and apologetic, to offer you this review!
Oh my goodness. I loved this. I loved this so much! This is pretty much my Marauders canon, not to mention a much, much better explanation for the map's creation than I came up with in "In The Black". :D Not that I dislike mine, per se, but I got all sorts of warm fuzzier reading this chapter because I can picture JKR writing this moment EXACTLY as you have written it here. The notes, the sketching, the planning, the research... I cannot begin to tell you of my appreciation. ♥ I adore your Marauders more and more with everything Maurader-y I read from you!
You've got the boys' characterizations down pat too. I think I mentioned that in the previous review, as well, but I feel it merits a repetition. Because as I said above, they are just so canon and I can't get over how real they are. And it's not even just the canon aspect of it, but how real they are as people, too -- James squinting up his eyes when he thinks, and Sirius's calligraphic prowess coming from the family he does. Even the way they tease and joke and interact is so reminiscent of the average, everyday teenage boy, as though you just sat down by a group of them one day and copied down what they said and inserted it here. Brilliant, brilliant stuff, Missy.
This is by and large one of the top Marauders fics on this site, and I say that with full confidence even though I've read maybe a fraction of them, if I can even say that. You spin magic in this genre and I flat-out love reading it! This could be given to me as something straight from J.K. Rowling herself and I would not question it.
Thank you very much for swapping with me, and I am so pleased that you were my 400th review! ♥ I can't wait to find my way over to the next chapter. I'm sure it's just as fantastic as the first two!Author's Response: Sorry for my tardy response. :( Your reviews are always something to look forward to and I want to save them all forever. -squishes-
You have no idea how giddy it makes me when you tell me how my Marauders are your canon. That is such a huge compliment coming from you and I kind of die a little bit inside each time. I love young Marauders and the idea of this map and all the sketching in the margins and stuff. It's just a lovely image I've always had in my mind. I kind of wish I added more detail, but I'm sure it took ages to create that map and I couldn't write months into one short section.
I love those little details that you point out. I don't know, to me, things like that make them more real. They're just not characters anymore, you know? It kind of brings them to life.
Your compliments! They will go to my head. Thank you for this. Words cannot even explain how much I love your reviews and how much your kind words mean to me.
Thank YOU for swapping with me, and you're welcome. :) Report Review
Hi, Missy! Here for a rather late QTR review. :)
I absolutely love the way that you write the Marauders -- you get their characteristics down so well, and it's immensely satisfying to read. They're all just so canon: Peter's timidity with Madam Pince, and Remus's worrying, and Sirius's delight at the Animagus forms having worked with Remus as he'd hoped. I just can't tell you how much I appreciate the way you write them, because here, they feel like real people, and more than that, the people JKR wrote them to be!
This was also a really good depiction of the logistics of Remus's transformation -- the hows and the whys, which a lot of people, in writing fic, seem to skip over. You just know your story so well, and as a result, it's turned out fabulously. This chapter flew by for me, and I was really sort of shocked when it was over. I am completely hooked on your Marauders!
I'll have to swing back by as soon as possible to see what the rest of this story holds for me. :3 Excellent job -- I knew going into this how good your writing is, of course, and I am still blown away. Great work, Missy!Author's Response: Hi Rachel!
Your compliments about my Marauders are seriously going to give me a huge complex. I feel like I've been writing them for so many years that I've got a firm grasp on my head canon for them and it just makes me happy that a lot of people seem to agree with my visions of them.
I'm glad this went by so fast for you! It's not that this section was particularly long but it is difficult with long chapters to keep readers engaged and when a story pulls its readers in, when they don't look up until the chapter is done and they wonder how 5000+ words went by so fast, that means I'm doing a good job as an author. :)
Thank you for your review and your kind words. They mean so much coming from you since you're an author I admire. Report Review
“It’s a map, Sirius,” he said. “Do you want some alone time with it?”
One of the best lines ever. I really liked the way you put this all together, I certainly hope you plan on writing for a career because you are just too talented for words!Author's Response: That's everyone's favorite line too. :)
I'm glad you liked it! My brain is too science-oriented to settle for a job writing, but it's a nice little hobby. Thanks for the compliments and the review! Report Review
Hello again! I've been looking for a good Marauders era and I've found it! I quite like your style! Especially the characterization, you really nail the characterization.Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it! Report Review
This is very beautiful! I haven't read lots of Marauders-Era fanfics, so I don't have much to base my judgement on; but still, I don't think that makes it any less beautiful. Stories about friendships just make my heart melt; and here, you've portrayed the friendship between the four boys quite skillfully.
First of all, Peter. I don't think that it ever crossed my mind how he felt about his animagus being a rat. And now that I think about it, probably, his feeling of being small and less important than the other three Marauders (on multiple occasions, of course, and not just the animagus thing) was probably what led him to betray James.
Secondly, Remus. Ever the wise and caring! You've made him so amazing! He knew something was up, he knew, but he still felt as though he shouldn't poke his nose into it. Even if those coiling around each other and whispering and passing notes are his best friends who should be sharing everything with him. But still, he doesn't say a thing.
Other than that, I loved all the links between the animagus of each of the boys and what that meant in the real world/how Peter viewed that.
There weren't any unclear parts that caught my attention. I read this all without having my mind wander off to some other thought like it usually does.
Anyway, I really, really liked this! I'm going to move onto the next chapter now.
Great job! Report Review
I'm so glad I got to read this whole story today. The chapters are disjointed from each other in terms of time and what not, but the whole story comes together so effortlessly. I adore the way you bookended the entire story ... it started/ended with a rat. Very clever and moving. It really goes to highlight how significant a role Peter plays in the story of the Marauders.
I think you developed the relationship between James and Lily very well. It was sweet and romantic and turbulent just as it should be. I can't imagine having to live under the prophecy, in the order, with a new born without having stress mount. It felt very real to see James run to Sirius. Pay back for Sirius having run to him all those years ago when he left home, I suppose. Their friendship is beautiful and it's so painful to try and imagine how Sirius must have felt having suggested Peter as the Secret Keeper.
Omg. This chapter was great and this story was wonderful.
MelissaAuthor's Response: I'm so glad you got to read this story too! The whole point of this story was to show important moments in the Marauders' life so it was meant to be a bit disjointed in terms of time.
When I first was thinking about this story, I had no idea what I was going to write about except for the first and last line, so it was meant to come full circle the whole time. But yes, Peter really did play a huge role in the Marauders and I wanted that to be the focus of this story.
With James and Lily, it was really easy to just slip into that relationship without having to deal with their messy school-year days. I think it's hard to be living in hiding and they're going to fight and be angry with one another. I don't think it's realistic that they were all happy with sunshine and daisies. Sirius is his best friend so yeah, it's only natural for him to go see him. I know, the whole thing with their friendship and not using Sirius as a secret keeper just breaks my heart.
I'm so glad you liked this story so much. Thanks for my reviews! Report Review
I can't stop grinning at this chapter.
I love this rendition of the formation of the Marauders' Map. It was so nice to see that each boy had a part of putting it together. I also adore that they only made up the nicknames for the purposes of the map, but they stuck anyways. Their easer banter in this chapter was so refreshing to read. They're just kids at school living life and enjoying it. It really makes what comes later in each of their lives all the more poignant... but at the same time. It makes me glad that they had such happy youths. They have fond memories to help carry them through the dark times ahead.
I don't normally draw quotes out for the purpose of reviewing, but this one from Peter's section I found incredibly appropriate and foreshadowing. Peter was thrilled to realise the potential for his Animagus, being small enough to disappear into the shadows would prove to be a valuable asset.
Another great chapter!
MelissaAuthor's Response: This chapter was so much fun to write and it's very light-hearted and the boys are all joking around with each other, so grinning is perfect.
I felt it was important to show that the Marauders Map wasn't just created by one person, but all of them have contributed in some way or another to its creation. I'm happy they had a happy youth too, knowing what's in store for them.
I love when people draw quotes out so I'm totally a-okay with that! Yes, that was definitely there for foreshadowing and I'm glad you picked up on it! :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing all these chapters tonight!! Report Review
This, this is phenominal. I remember hearing a bunch of hubub about it over the summer. I think from Gina? Anyways. The banner is gorgeous so please pass my compliment along to Susan. And the writing suits it so well. I really have never been much of a marauder fan, not that I don't like them, but I never really seem to click on their stories to read. But this, this is phenominal. They felt soo human and young and vulnerable. Their friendship was like a living thing in and of itself. I adore you way of working with Peter. He seems to be an area of a lot of FF Marauder discussion, but I think his character and roll in the group was very well executed here. He was sort of, down trodden about being a rat, but perked right up when reassured that it was cool and useful. Also Lupin. Gosh I love him. He's so, I don't even know. Humble and careful and caring and everything good. (even if it is too good sometimes and he sacrifices his own hapiness in the process... ala tonks) But really. The scene where he hugs Sirius was beautiful as was him seeing all his frieds as animagi.
Such a great chapter.
MelissaAuthor's Response: Hii,
You could have heard about it from Gina. I know she r&r'd it a while back. Everyone loves that banner, and Susan did such a wonderful job with it! I'm so ridiculously pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. I adore the Marauders (obviously) and I pride myself in my writing of them so it makes me all kinds of happy that you're commenting on how human they are and how precious their friendship is. Peter is a fantastic character, and I wish we knew more about him - why he did what he did, etc., but for now, we can only speculate, which is what I did in the last chapter.
He was definitely upset about being a silly rat compared to something like a dog or a stag, but being a rat is definitely useful as James and Sirius pointed out, and I thought it was important to show how they incorporated Peter into the group and why he was so important. It makes his betrayal hurt even more.
Lupin is fantastic, and I love him to pieces. He's so insecure but he has a big heart. I think it's easy for him to see how hurt he would be if his friends abandoned him, though. I love Remus and Sirius's friendship (or well, more than friendship in some cases), but they're so easy to write with one another, and that hug always makes me happy too.
I'm really glad you stopped by and reviewed. Thank you so much! Report Review
Hi there! Coming here from the Ravenclaw review battle.
Firstly, I must admit I've been wanting to read this story ever since Susan did that wonderful banner of yours. I also love the title you've chosen from the Yeat's poem - I think it fits your story beautifully (though for now, I've not come to the point of the "drifts away" part, but I am sure we'll get to that in the next chapters).
Anyway, now to a bit more un-rambly review (I cannot seem to get the hang of those xD). I think you have a great way of expressing yourself, and the language you use is very fitting - it's very well-written without being too heavy on description or using pompous words just for the sake of being them there. Indeed, I read the whole chapter in one breathe. Smooth!
Your characterization is even better if possible! I especially loved how you described Peter, he's usually left so... flat(?!) in fanfiction. But here, we just see the insecure boy, who's disappointed that life dealt him a short hand again (with being a rat Animagus and all). He can not find worth in himself, so he can only get it from external sources - his friends (and idols) James and Sirius.
The glimpses into Remus' character were also great! I find it very logical that he would suspect his friends were up to something, after all by all accounts he was quiet smart and should have noticed something was off. But he, too, having such low self-esteem immediately thinks his friends are up to something.
So, I really liked this story - it's got everything you could wish for from a fanfic - it's well-written, intriguing and stays true to the spirit of the books. I will definitely read the next chapters, though I am afraid, I am smelling a tear-inducing and grim ending.
Thanks for writing such a great piece! :)Author's Response: Heh, Susan's banner is definitely well-known, I think. She's fantastic. Yeats has been a HUGE inspiration for me in a lot of my fics, and his words just fit perfectly. You will definitely see the whole "drifts away" part in the last chapter.
Thank you for the compliments on my writing. I've been writing for a while so I guess I sort of fall into a rhythm while I'm writing. I'm glad it works well for you. :)
Peter is definitely a difficult character to portray in fanfiction, and one that many authors choose to ignore. I adore all the Marauders so I could never do that. Peter has always been a complex character that I try to write as rounded as possible - because no one likes a flat character. James and Sirius are great friends to encourage him and prove his worth.
It's sad that Remus would assume that, but true. He's dealt with a lot in his young years with being a werewolf and struggling to fight against being a monster, so having them avoid him is like his biggest fear. Good thing that's not the case. ;)
I'm really happy you're enjoying it. Yes, the ending is rather sad but we all know it's coming so hopefully it will prepare you well.
Thank you for leaving me such a wonderful, thoughtful review. :) Report Review
This is beautiful. I feel as though that's a word that I use a lot, but I mean it with this. It truly is beautiful and I shouldn't have waited so long to finally get around to reading this. If this is your writing after a several year break, then that only makes me even more excited to read everything you're going to write.
I noticed how it was mostly James this time, with only a little bit of Peter, and I thought that was fitting: sort of says something about how the Marauders have fallen apart. The bonds that seemed inseparable in school turned out to not be so strong, as shown by how everyone suspected Remus. War can really bring out the worst in people (as well as the best) and it becomes so easy to distrust even those who you are close to.
James seems much more mature now, having been forced into the real world and in the middle of a battle. As you said, he's no longer the "immature, brilliant teenager hell-bent on revenge and humiliation" but an adult, someone's who's grown up, no matter how quickly it had to take place.
One of the lines that I think really helped show the confusion and fear of the war was the first one: He didn’t know how this happened, how things could spiral so quickly out of control. It broke my heart...
...as well as the relationship between the Marauders. There's James and Sirius, so close, and when you think of how Sirius is then framed for his murder... I think McGonagall says something in the third book about how surprised she was. It really is the ultimate betrayal for Sirius: to even have it insinuated that he would do something like that.
And then between James and the others... "But he felt like it was another blow to their friendship, another severance he couldn’t mend." It seems as though the Marauders really did fall apart a bit after seventh year, despite perhaps all of their best efforts. Sirius and James always were the closest, and maybe that was part of the reason why Peter did what he did. Actually, I don't know. Thinking out loud here :P
What good would a life of freedom from a maniacal Dark wizard be if you couldn’t even trust your best friends? ♥ This also broke my heart. (you did a lot of heartbreaking this chapter for me...)
It's that ending with Peter that gets me, because I think this might be the first time I've read someone's view on what he was thinking then. Sort of frightening, sort of made me pity him... but mostly just upsetting, knowing how things were going to end. All in all, well done.
It was that last line that cinched it for me, everything came full circle - It started with a rat. It ended with a rat. How perfect.
All in all, it was a magnificent story and I absolutely loved it. Perfect. It's something that I want to read over and over again. I know I just left a really, really rambly review and for the lack of coherency I apologize - but it's your fault really, for writing a story that I just felt like talking and talking about ;P
Wonderful work. I loved it. ♥ It really is magnificent.Author's Response: You're here! I don't mind the wait. I'm just glad you got here eventually! :)
I think it helped that I skipped through the rest of the years at Hogwarts to get to this point, that really showed how mature James has become. Like you said, war changes people and it certainly changed the Marauders. I think about how much anger and betrayal they must have felt and sometimes, it just boggles my mind at how young they actually are. I'm older than they were when they died. I don't know, I just always imagine them so much older because of the way I picture how they matured due to the war.
This chapter was meant to be heartbreaking. The first two were kind of light-hearted and showed them when they were young and carefree. Now they're thrust into the midst of a war and they don't even know if they can trust their best friends anymore. It's so very sad. :(
I'm glad Peter's part worked for you. When I first started playing around with the idea of writing this story, the first and last line were ones that kept coming back to me, begging to be written. It wanted to be written full-circle and I'm glad that most people seem to enjoy that.
I'm so, so, so happy that you loved this story. I was really nervous to post something after such a long hiatus but everyone has been more than kind to my writing with their lovely reviews. I LOVE rambly reviews! I do the same so I totally understand. Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm internally squeeing. :) Report Review
Wow, this is such a great Marauders.
I've never read one that is entirely focused on the four of them with no gaggling, giggling girls trailing behind.
Your characterisation is original and it made me very happy to see you started the whole thing off with a Peter POV! *bounces up and down* You write with a really interesting style that captures my attention. I love it!
It's also a great topic; Sirius, Remus and James's step towards becoming animagi. It did take them a long time to become one and you got Remus's reaction to the news spot on.
The bit where Sirius kisses james on the cheek was a little strange and jarred the flow of the story for me, but otherwise i really enjoyed this!
LWG :)Author's Response: This was an exercise for me to get back into writing. I don't usually write gaggling, giggling girls in my Marauders stories anyway. I like to focus on the more important things, like their friendship.
I really wanted to include Peter in this so I'm glad you liked his POV. He's definitely a character that gets shafted a lot.
I hate when people write them as becoming Animagi overnight. It took a long time, and it's really intensive magic that was way beyond the level of magic they were at in their school careers. But those brilliant, brilliant boys pulled it off.
I always imagine Sirius as being overtly affectionate and he kissed James's cheek in jest. They were joking around and I thought it fit into the context of the scene, but I'm sorry it didn't work for you.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh my. This just made me so... happy. I don't know how to describe it. It was just... banter and lovely and fun and heartwarming. They all have such an innocence about them, before war caught up to them and they were turned into soldiers.
I also haven't really read much about how the Marauder's Map's creation, so I loved this. It's also interesting that it came after their Animagus forms... it makes perfect sense, of course, but it seems that a lot of times, writers sort of discount the whole idea and have the Marauders have their map as if it just appeared out of thin air. Sorry. That rant probably didn't make much sense. :P But I'm glad you gave it a backstory.
Again, I love reading Peter, and I love your Peter, because he's not this despicable character. I maintain that James, Sirius, and Remus wouldn't have made friends with someone who was completely awful - he must have been good in his school days at least, right? I love how he's not useless - he contributes.
James looked at Sirius strangely. "It's a map, Sirius," he said. "Do you want some alone time with it?" and "You can be Flea-bag," James shot back with a saccharine smile. heh. I snickered a bit there :P yay banter!
Reading about how they got the nicknames was great! I always did wonder where they decided to come up with Wormtail :P It was so sweet - I know I keep repeating that word, but it really was! - and I loved seeing how close they all were. Truly like brothers.
They were going to be legends. ♥ And legends they became.
This story is absolutely fabulous. And I know there's only one chapter left and I do promise I'll get around to reviewing it soon. (I sort of don't want to, because I know then it'll end and it won't be so happy anymore. tears) But for now, I think I'll just savor this chapter and tell you how much I loved it. Wonderful, wonderful work!Author's Response: This was definitely fun and happy to write. I've never really written them as young, happy boys before so it was an experiment to see if I could do it.
Well...the map was written with their Animagi forms on it, so I figured it had to have been created after they knew their forms. I think I've read one story that talked about how it was created and that's it - so having nothing to go off of was a bit of a challenge. I'm glad I managed to pull it off though!
I try not to write Peter as the despicable character most people have him out to be unless it's needed for the story. But your argument is the same one I've been making for years as well - if he was as evil and standoffish as people write him, the other boys never would have remained friends with him. They let Peter be the Potters' secret keeper...if they didn't trust him, they never would have put their lives in his hand, you know?
Everyone seems to love the banter! It was so easy to write them together and that's what makes it so sad - that they had this easy friendship and then everything is gone in one single night. It's heartbreaking.
I love that line because they did become legends and it was nice for them to think about it when they're young and innocent and unaware of the tale they actually leave behind.
I do hope you muster up the courage to finish it eventually - I promise, though it's sad, that it ties everything together and I hope that you will enjoy the happier moments I've tied into it.
Thank you for such a lovely review. Report Review
A perfect ending to a perfect story. (:
Everything in this chapter seemed just right, from the hints of foreshadowing to the cute (read: slightly sappy :D) moments, to the end where everything came full circle. I think the chapter was perfectly executed. Well done! (:
~Khanh (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: I love sappy moments! They needed some happy moments before the end. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Another wonderful chapter. (:
The plot flowed along nicely, picking up where the other left off even though they aren't exactly in order. I loved the little snippets of the Marauders' life, and their endless banter. It was perfect. (:
I have something to suggest, though. I'm pretty sure the "Marauders" (in the title and in some other sections of the text) should have an apostrophe after the "s" since it's a possessive. Also, maybe "grimy" should be changed to "grimmy", since it would sound more like the "ih" in Grim instead of an "ai" sound like "slimy". (Hopefully that makes sense!)
~Khanh (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you liked it! The whole thing with Marauders vs Marauders' is something that I've been struggling with for a while. I've had many people give me conflicting answers on how it should be written. The one thing I hate is when people write it as "Marauder's" because to me that implies one person where as the Marauders are a group. I'll work on fixing those though. That does make sense. I'll think about fixing that. Thanks for the suggestions and for reviewing! Report Review
This was an amazing start. (:
The dynamic between the Marauders was perfect. As for each individual character, you did a great job. I love how you didn't ignore Peter but gave him a side that makes the readers feel sorry for him. I also think you portrayed James's, Remus's, and Sirius's feelings and action really well.
Your writing is also flawless in the sense that there weren't any grammatical errors... Good job! I'm not sure that the fact that werewolves can't remember their actions is entirely accurate, though. Fenrir Greyback seems to remember exactly what he did and who he killed, and takes pride in it!
Overall, it was an amazing read. (:
~Khanh (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: I never ignore Peter! But I'm glad that you acknowledged the fact that I wrote him in and didn't try to tell me how much you hate him as a character - I appreciate that. I do write the Marauders a lot so they're definitely characters I have a certain feel for. :)
This was beta'd by multiple people so I'm glad that you didn't know any errors! You make a good point about werewolves but that wouldn't work for my plot so I'm ignoring that canon detail.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! Report Review
Your Peter is completely perfect - as are the other characters. I want your talent for canon characterizations! I loved how you wrote about him discovering he was a rat, because I always did feel a little sorry for him. His two other best friends were these beautiful, strong creatures... and he ends up a rat. :/ Not quite as cool. But I did love how Sirius made him feel better - the dynamic between all of the Marauders was great and you could tell how close they were.
I thought it was interesting how you didn't have them tell Remus what was going on - I thought it was believable. It would be so horrible to have Remus' hopes be raised, only for the entire experiment not to work out. Still, my heart broke at how insecure he was! :( Poor Remus. -sends hugs-
"You are all the very best of friends I could have ever hoped for." The friendship in this was the best part for me. You showed it so elegantly and excellently that it made me feel content all around. :) It was so perfect and so sweet!
Absolutely gorgeous. I love everything about this! And I'm looking forward to reading the rest, especially because it's already completed, hooray. As happy as this chapter was, the summary and title seem to suggest everything won't be perfect forever... suppose I'll just have to read and find out!
Wonderful job as always.Author's Response: I tried really hard to write Peter as likeable as I could. The only talent I have for canon is with the Marauders, I'm afraid, and that's only because I've been writing them for so long! It is definitely very sad...to be this tiny, pathetic creature that people just see as vile while your best friends are a stag and a dog, but the boys were nice enough to point out the redeeming qualities of having a rat as an Animagus. :)
I can imagine Sirius looking out for Remus and not wanting to disappoint him. I can't imagine Remus being this cool, confident kind of guy. Not with the way he's characterized in canon or with his affliction, but I think this is the first time I've really written as insecure as I have characterized him. *huggles poor Remus*
I love, love, love the Marauders friendship. I think it's amazing how close they were all, how much they all did for one another and this was such a pivotal point in their friendship.
I hope you get around to reading the rest because I think you'll enjoy it. Yes, nothing is perfect forever, but be comforted that Part II is pretty happy too. :)
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
NKjdflkmsldkmafkla. This final chapter was so perfect. Then ending matching the beginning... James, Sirius, Peter, Remus. Urgh - I just loved every single little bit of it :)
(especially the inclusion of Peter taking the wand which was fabulous :D)
I can't fault it :)Author's Response: Haha, thank you. I'm really happy you loved it. Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested. I would like to apologize for the extended delay!
I just want to say that I love, LOVE this chapter. The section of the chapter with Peter was so heartfelt and brilliant. He is the under-appreciated Marauder and so I definitely enjoyed the life and vibrancy and loyalty and love you've given his character. It was so real, you know? The creation of the Map is absolutely astounding. You've included Peter in everything, and for that, I applaud you. He was as much a part of the group as the other three.
Like I said in my first review, your style is so relaxing. I've figured that the story will get darker, but I feel so at ease. Sometimes, I just want to sit down and read a good story and not have to be so anxious. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and cannot wait to read and review the next!
ShelbyAuthor's Response: I don't mind the delay!
I am glad you liked this. I always try to include Peter in my Marauders stories so I'm glad you enjoyed my characterization.
I'm glad you like my style of writing! It's a bit different from my normal style, definitely a bit more relaxed and yes, the story will get darker. There will definitely be more light-hearted moments in the last chapter which kind of balances out the heaviness. I hope you enjoy the last part when you get around to it. :) Report Review
;_; That was eternally heartbreaking. Gaah -- I admit half the reason why I avoid Marauder eras is because it never ends well. The betrayal and then the framing of Sirius -- every time I see it, I can't take it. And you wrote all those happy scenes too, so now it's doubly heartbreaking!
The doubt in the air; that too. Suspecting Remus first and then brushing off Peter. To even suspect, that's really the tragic part of war. Trusting no one, not knowing whether your loved ones are going to come back safe -- and then James and Lily's final words to each other!
And your ending, oh D: Tied everything up so well, and just makes me want to strangle that Wormtail, gah! Wonderful short story!
- justonemorefic, RavenclawAuthor's Response: I think that's why I love the Marauder era. I love the angst. ;)
That was the point of writing the happy moments! It makes the ending that much more unbearable. It's sad, but true.
War is tough on any relationship, but it's sad to see what it's done to the Marauders.
I'm glad you "liked" the ending...and that everything has been tied up neatly. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Bahaha! I love all the banter in this chapter. James looked at Sirius strangely. “It’s a map, Sirius,” he said. “Do you want some alone time with it?” and all the names! Eek, too endearing! I really do love the stories where it's all about friendship bonding (with Peter included) -- and it makes the future so much sadder though D: I can see a bit of Peter's 4th wheel-ness, although I might be projecting my ideas of him on there.
And now that I think about it, I've never read a story that told me how the Marauder's Map was created -- it always seemed like it just was always there. I really like this rendition of it, along with how all the nicknames were created. It'll probably be one of those details I forgot isn't canon :D
- justonemorefic, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Everyone seems to love that line the most. :) I had fun writing all the nickname talk. I should've asked the forums for more suggestions though, I think they're kind of lame. :P I didn't intend for Peter's 4 wheel-ness to come through in this chapter, so it was unintentional. Oops.
Heh, thanks! I've read one fic maybe that described part of making the map too but it is something that isn't written about often. I think because it's so hard! The work that went into making the map is tedious so I'm sure most authors find it a bit boring.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
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