Hello there Roots! Returning your review for the holiday swap thing :D
This is a really lovely but heartbreaking story! Not many writers can deal with a mature and difficult subject like Alzheimer's in such a realistic way as you have. Well done for that. Your attention to detail is wonderful - not just the way you portrayed Ginny's slow decline, but also Harry's dedication and pain at seeing her in such a state. Your characterisation is fresh as well; I especially adored the depiction of Daphne as the loving, devoted wife. I loved the fact that Daphne and Ginny were on good terms and that the latter was very supportive of Harry's new marriage. Their divorce was dealt with very sensibly and it is such a relief from the endless messy and angsty emotional breakups so prevalent in fanfics :) As I mentioned earlier, you certainly deal with these sort of mature topics very well, without lapsing into melodrama. And there was a very realistic sense of bewilderment from the other Weasley family members, especially George.
I think your story flowed really well, and the pacing was good. The dialogue was realistic and natural.
And the ending segment was beautifully done! I love the repetition of sentence structures in the last bit: "she looked like..." That was just lovely to read :D And while Ginny's death was tragic, you skillfully avoided excessive sentimentality and instead made it a very poignant moment. There's a sort of lovely intimacy implied with Harry staying with Ginny until her last breath, perhaps still some residue from their old relationship?
All in all, this was a wonderful story and I enjoyed reading it very much. You have a lovely natural style, and the dialogue along with the narrative bits flowed very well. Once again, great work! And thanks so very much for choosing to do the swap with me :D
-tehAuthor's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me such a long time to respond!
I'm pleased that you think that I did a good job with my depiction of Alzheimer's. I did a lot of research on the subject before I even attempted to start writing the story.
I'm so glad that you liked my characterization. I had some negative comments about my decision to have Daphne be Harry's wife at this point in his life, so I'm really pleased that it worked with you.
I'm glad that you think that I successfully avoided melodrama- I tried really hard myself to avoid writing it because I think that it would have lessened the impact of the story.
As well, I'm pleased that you liked how I wrote the ending segment. I had a bit of a debate with myself about how exactly I wanted the story to end. I knew that it would involve her death but I wasn't sure exactly what direction I wanted to go in. I was very happy with the direction I eventually decided upon.
I don't know if I would say that the intimacy came from their romantic relationship but rather from the fact that they shared the majority of their lives together. They were still good friends when it happened and she lived with him until her death.
I really do have to read the second chapter of your story! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
This was heartbreaking. It really was. To think of how one's mind can deteriorate in such a way that you're unable to recall your own children or the important events of your life, that's something I can't even begin to imagine.
You painted such a sad and tragic destiny in this story. The way Harry was accusing himself of the illness in the way he always did, Daphne's support, George's struggle to cure his sister. And Ginny... The decline was beautifully written and so sad and realistic it made my heart ache.
This was a lovely, although dramatic, story. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad to hear that the emotional came across well in this story as this topic is very emotional and I wanted to do the situation justice.
Luckily I haven't experienced anything like this either but I read several books and websites while researching for this and they gave me some really good insight into the situation. I'm glad that it seemed realistic.
Thanks once again for reviewing! I really appreciate it! Report Review
Hey! So I came and read this cus Dan recommended it. :) And I have to say...wow!
Your entire description of Ginny's deterioration is so brutally descriptive and so spot on. Harry's relationship with Ginny is so genuine that it's very believable. He still loved her in a way and cared for her that it just made me cry!
Question, why did they call him 'Lord'?
Your entire description was amazing that I felt getting sucked in and not wanting to stop. And Harry being married to Daphne was very interesting on this. I'm always up for any Harry and another canon (except for Hermione) but I've never heard or seen a Harry/Daphne. I'm glad, however, that you didn't paint her as some sort of villain who doesn't want her husband's ex-wife living with them. You actually gave her a personality aside from the usual manipulative, cold and arrogant that I tend to see. She's actually a caring person here! And you can see the love that Daphne has for Harry when she was willing to let her husband's ex-wife to live with them.
Overall, this was truly beautiful in a very bittersweet way.
I'm glad that Ginny got the peace she deserved in the end.
--Perelandra/RosieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a review! I'm so glad that you liked it!
I'm very pleased that you thought I did a good job with the description of her deterioration and with Harry's relationship with Ginny. I spent a lot of time researching for this story because I wanted everything to be correct and I really tried to convey the proper emotions in the scenes, so it's nice to know that it came across.
Oh- the reason I have for them calling him "Lord" is that after he became involved in politics he took his place as head of the Houses of Potter and Black... Making him a Lord. It just seemed right for the time at which I wrote him.
I haven't seen any Harry/Daphne either, though it could definitely work as a pairing (as I hope I've shown in this story) if people don't paint her in such a negative light. To be honest, I don't think I could have painted her in a negative light- it would have added an extra layer of complexity to the story and, I feel, taken away from Harry's relationship with Ginny.
Thanks once again for reviewing- I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the story and that you liked the ending. It was the only one I thought would be suitable for the story. Report Review
Hey, there, Roots! I wanted to pick something special for my 400th review. Something written by somebody who's been very kind to my stories. And something by somebody whose stories never seem to get as much love as I think they deserve. You definitely fit the bill on both accounts, my friend. So, with no further ado, here goes.
When I first got into the story and figured out the back story that went with it, I honestly didn't think I was going to like it. I've never been a big fan of pairing either Harry or Ginny with anyone else. But the more I kept reading, the more I realized that this is still a Harry/Ginny love story, just a very different sort. It's not a story of romance, it's a story of amazing devotion. It's a story of how two people can realize that they're not meant to share every moment with one another, but still be there for one another when it means most.
It was heart-breaking to watch Ginny decline as the story went on. It just killed me inside. Even though much of the essence of who she was still remained, seeing her lose all of the context that surrounded that essence was horribly sad. When she could no longer remember Albus's death, I think I felt as devastated as Harry. When she couldn't remember her family any longer, it was like seeing a dear friend dying.
I really had no idea what to expect from Daphne at the beginning. In most fan fic, she's portrayed as shallow, arrogant and not very bright. In this story, the woman is a saint! She willingly shares Harry until the end. And it isn't even as though she's sharing him with Ginny. That would be bad enough, but it would also be bounded in a way. She knows as well as anybody that Ginny won't be getting better. What makes it even worse is that she's sharing Harry with the memory of who Ginny used to be. That's who Harry sees as he takes care of his dying ex-wife. And that person isn't going away just because Ginny dies. Like I said, Daphne's a saint.
You weren't overly kind in your portrayal of Hermione here, which was an interesting choice. When she chastises Ron, it was perhaps necessary, but the way that she went about it came off as a bit heartless. His baby sister is slowly dying. Of course he's going to be nervous and put his foot in his mouth sometimes. And the fact that she would even question the healers about letting Ginny's family linger past visiting hours... Sheesh, pull the rule book out of your... erm, hand. And put it away!
When the end finally comes, it had both the sadness of losing a loved one, but also the immense sense of relief in knowing that the person is no longer suffering. You did a remarkable job with this. I lost my great-grandmother after watching her decline for 3 years with Alzheimer's. She was such a wonderful, loving, lively, funny lady. A huge influence on me when I was growing up and in some ways she was my best friend. It tore me up to see her gradually forget everything, including me. I remember feeling sort of happy for her at her funeral, because I believed -- rightly or wrongly -- that she had gotten everything back that she lost.
I don't know what else to say. This story was so powerful and, at least for me, so personal. Your writing was spot on. I can't really recommend anything. Thank you for a wonderful and very moving read.Author's Response: I'm so honoured to be your 400th review! Your stories definitely deserved the praise -they're very well written and so very very interesting to read.
I'm so very pleased that you ended up liking the way I wrote the "romance" in this story. The divorce between Harry and Ginny put some people off the story. I actually got the idea for this story from an article I read in the newspaper about divorced couples caring for each other when one of them fell ill because of limitations in the availability of nursing homes. When I read the article I was moved by the kindness and caring that were the primary motivators behind these actions - and then I got to thinking about the level of caring Harry and Ginny shared. I really liked the way you put their relationship: amazing devotion. I think it suits them very well.
It was very difficult for me to write Ginny's decline, to reduce her from what she was into what she became. However, I spent a lot of time researching for this story and I knew that the ending wouldn't be happy and so I had to perservere.
I'm glad that you liked Daphne's portrayal in this story. When I was writing this story, I really wanted Harry and Ginny to have divorced (I wanted to show the strength of their relationship on a field outside of marriage.) and I needed Harry to have a wife so as to make it clear that there was no chance of them re-marrying. However, I didn't want to give Harry a wife that would involve complicated back-stories, so I couldn't choose any character that J. K. Rowling had given a future to. Daphne was the first person I thought of that fit the bill and I liked her. I didn't even think of her portrayals in other stories - I wanted to give Harry a wife that understood and supported him through his trials.
You know, as I was writing this I never thought that I was writing Hermione in a negative light, though I can definitely see where you're coming from. Looking back I believe I wrote her the way I did not only to show the difficulties that arise from knowing a person with Alzheimer's but to also show a small glimpse of Hermione's way of coping with the problem - she fell back to her books, which have never failed her. But yes, I do agree that the rule breaking was a little much.
I'm glad that you like the ending. I struggled for a long time as I was writing the story as to how I was going to end it - I didn't feel that it would be right to show everyone's devastation about her death or to jump too quickly to "hope for the future". I tried to strike a balance between the two and I'm glad that it came through.
Once again, thank you for taking the time to read and review this story. Your review was very thoughtful and thank you so much for all of your compliments. Report Review
that was beautiful, when i first read that harry and ginny had seperated i didnt think it would turn out to be so good but it was beautifully written :)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad that you liked the way it was written! Report Review
So I've been kind of stalled on how to review this one. You asked me to, so I will, but I don't think it's going to be a very good one.
This was kind of hard for me to read, for personal reasons. On the whole, I thought that you portrayed the disease well - there are only a few things that I would mention. First, I didn't really feel like she was frustrated enough, though that could just be my experience with the disease. Second, I felt like while you touched on "sometimes it's good, sometimes it isn't," you could have gone into that a little deeper - it felt like there weren't really many points where she remembered things/how to do things that she didn't the day before.
Other than that, though, I thought that you definitely captured her downward spiral, as well as how difficult it was for the people around her to watch her go through that. The guilt that Harry feels in particular was very well-done.
I'm really sorry that this is such a paltry review. I'm kind of having a hard time with it - not because it's not a good piece, but more because it is, you know?
It really is an excellent job, all around, and I'm glad that you took on such a difficult subject. It's one that deserves the attention.
Thank you.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing- I'm sorry that this was hard for you to read.
Thank you for the comments- I haven't had too much experience with the disease and even though I did a lot of research on it, experience can tell you so much more. I'll take your comments into consideration for when I edit this story.
I'm pleased that you think I captured their emotions well- I definitely tried really hard to do just that.
Thank you, once again, for reviewing this piece. Report Review
Having had a family member go through Alzheimer's in the past, I can say that you depicted it accurately; so accurately that I found it a bit of a struggle (but I succeeded). I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried reading this. The way you broke the story into sections really showed the state of decline very well. It was heartbreaking to see someone so strong as Ginny weaken over time.
I was reluctant to continue reading when I found Ginny and Harry were divorced, but you wrote their relationship and Harry's with Daphne in such a way that I could believe it was real.
Once again, well done for tackling such a difficult topic. My favourite authors are ones who aren't afraid to write about diverse subjects.Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!
Oh- I'm sorry that this was a troublesome topic for you but I'm pleased that I depicted Alzheimer's realistically as that was something I tried really hard to do well.
I'm glad that you kept reading even after you learned that Ginny and Harry were divorced- I tried to show the depth and strength of their relationship even after they were no longer in (romantic) love. I'm also glad that you thought that the relationships were believable.
Thanks once again for reviewing- I really appreciate it! Report Review
This brought me to tears...Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing and letting me know that the story affected you. Report Review
I absolutely love it. The relationships you have formed are very real and make sense which is the biggest issue with fanfiction stories. You convinced me that this is true and everything was kept so calm and very canon in the most un-canon way possible... if that even makes sense xD But the whole twist on the relationship between Harry and Ginny made the story interesting and gave it a bit of flavour. It would make people wonder why Harry was taking care of her now, even after they had moved on, and people would doubt Harry's feelings towards her and such.
Also, the entire story itself was great! The plot was unique and something that you won't see anywhere else. It was interesting, the language was appropriate and the story was vert well written. The story progressed at a very nice pace. Not too fast, not too slow. I liked how you built more relationships even after Harry brought Ginny back from the hospital. The complications in the story (first about Ginny not agreeing to go after she had and Albus dying) made the story more alive. A good writer knows where to draw the line and you are definitely a good writer!
The end of course, was great! I loved your description in the end. It made me teary, I'm going to be honest about that. You've used wonderful descriptions everywhere in the story, making it more lively and as if the readers were actually a part of the story but the description at the end had me the most. It was a simple and modest ending to a simple but well written story. I think that your wording was great, and that the order of things that happened was well done. Sometimes, people have a problem putting the order together well, but you had everything progress in a good manner.
Over all, I loved the story. It was interesting, unique and capturing! It made me think about wizard illnesses in a different manner, and illnesses in general. It made me wonder more about the Muggle and Wizarding worlds being connected which was a good thing to think about. I love how you have tiny details, such as where her brothers live, the colour of her hair, the story you made up about the de-gnoming, because it takes something that was done and gives you the ability to remake it wonderfully!
I think that this story has a lot of potential and you did not in fact kill the story. You are such a great writer but I feel that this story just needs to be read with an open mind. I will be honest when I say that I wasn't sure about Harry and Ginny being divorced when I first saw that mentioned but I continued reading and was very happy to realize that everything about their relationship worked. They were friends and they could still love each other even if they are divorced which was evident! Thanks for an amazing story, because I truly enjoyed reading it!Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
I'm so pleased that you find the relationships realistic! And haha- "the most un-canon way possible"... I think I know what you mean. I agree about the whole "flavour" thing- it added another dimension to the story. I'm glad you thought that.
I do seem to write off-beat stories, don't I? I'm so glad (I do seem to be saying this a lot, don't I) that you thought the story had a nice pace. When I was writing it, I tried to be careful about that. Thanks for the compliments! The complications were also to show how much the illness was affecting her mind.
I'm so glad you liked the ending. I toyed with different ideas for ages- I couldn't decide what would be a great ending. In the end, I'm glad I chose the one I did- I think simple was the best way to go.
I first came across the idea for this story when reading the newspaper- and I'm so glad I was able to make it work for the Wizarding world. As for the details, like the colour of her hair, it was just a detail the first time, but then I began to use it as a way to have continuity in the story and help keep it together.
Thanks so much for your entire review! I'm so happy that you think I didn't kill this story (who would kill their own story?). It definitely is different...
This review put a nice, large smile on my face- thanks so much for taking the time to write such an amazing review! Report Review
Hey there! Here with your review :)
Okay, so I LOVED this. LOVED it. You chose a difficult subject to tackle but I really think you executed it quite well. You successfully turned fiery, capable Ginny Weasley into a vulnerable shade of a woman. The Harry/Ginny relationship is definitely the most tangible one here, even if they aren't married anymore. Your writing flowed beautifully and I loved the way you described the progression of Ginny's illness. I also didn't notice any technical errors, which is great.
As for the Alzheimer's, I think you did it quite well. In addition to my training in psychology, my grandfather also succumbed to Alzheimer's disease after a series of strokes. Many of the behaviors you described are familiar to me -- the lapses in memory, the frustration, the discomfort with change. I also think you wrote the reactions of Harry, Daphne and the others quite appropriately. All you can really do is try to ease the person back into a peaceful state and gently jog his or her memory. It doesn't always work, and it hurts. You conveyed all of this quite well, in my clinical and personal opinion.
I also didn't see any problems in the relationships portrayed. It's entirely possible that Harry and Ginny wouldn't work out. You're not the first to suggest that a couple might disintegrate once the event that really brought them together (like the war) comes to an end and life changes too abruptly. I also thought your portrayal of Harry's marriage to Daphne was pretty accurate, and I'm pleased to see Daphne be so understanding of Ginny's difficulties. I certainly don't think there would be any jealousy present, and it's unrealistic to think Harry wouldn't move on after a divorce. I am curious as to why you chose Daphne, though; Harry is the "good" character who would probably be most comfortable settling down with a Slytherin, but I think the story would work just as well if he'd married a minor character from one of the other three houses. Do you mind explaining your decision?
In short, I totally loved it. Thanks so much for requesting a review, and you know you can always re-request from me in the future (especially since you were kind enough to pay attention to my rules, but also because I love your work). I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)
academica (Slytherin)Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review- and so quickly too! Your first line definitely put a smile on my face!
I'm so happy that Ginny's characterization was realistic, as well as her illness. I was worried about that, as I didn't want it to seem as though it had come out of the blue. I've never known a person personally who has succumbed to this illness, but I did do a lot of research on this subject to try and convey it realistically. I'm glad it came through. I wrote their reactions as best I could, as best I could imagine they would react when faced with this situation.
And thank goodness you think so about the relationships. I was becoming quite insecure about those... I agree (of course I do- I wrote it) that it was entirely realistic of them to fall apart. I'm also glad you liked Harry and Daphne's relationship. I haven't had much experience writing relationships/romance, so this is very good news.
As for choosing Daphne, hmmm. I remember wanting to have him move on, but I didn't want to have to write a whole backstory if I used a more major character or used a minor character who had already married. I was thinking about Luna at one point (and I know she's already married), but then I didn't think I could write her very well, nor her relationship with Harry. Daphne came to mind- she would have been in his year at Hogwarts and she wasn't that well known (not as a supporter of the Dark Arts nor just as a character) so I had more room to "play" with her. Once I thought of her, I was stuck. I couldn't think of anything else- has that ever happened to you? As well, I began to "see" her background and how well she could fit in with Harry's life. Finally, it's been many years since they graduated from Hogwarts, so I thought that they would have been able to forget their old prejudices.
I'm so glad I've requested a review from you. When I was first browsing your review thread, I followed it immediately when I noticed your note about mental illnesses- I already had this story in mind, but it wasn't written at that point. Thanks so much for the compliment about my stories!
Your feedback was definitely helpful- it was very kind and helped me to gain back some confidence in this story (especially in the pairings).
Thanks once again for your amazing review! Report Review
There is a lovely story called lessons in thesteral keeping on livejournal. Your story reminded me of that...but it wasn't as satisfying and memorable. I wish you had done this differently...try as I might I can't see this as Harry/Ginny story...the sad part is it could have been a lovely one.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I think this worked well as a Harry/Ginny story, but everyone thinks differently. It's too bad that you feel that this story wasn't memorable. I agree that it does have potential. Report Review
such a sad tale of unconditonal love. poor daphne what a pity to be married to a man whose heart belongs to someone else.Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
this story had so much potential! Why did u kill it urself? Ur depiction of hg was lovely, it was heartbreaking but so deeply touching, but daphne just came across as a jarring bit of cacophony in what a sad tragic yet lyrical melody. The divorce and harrys remarriage werent needed...u could have done so much better withou it. I am touched, i liked it and yet the story leaves me feeling oddly dissatisfied and sad because i can see it had the potential to be a mindblowing piece of fanficAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I'm glad you liked the relationship between Harry and Ginny. I will think about Daphne's inclusion in the story. I'm glad that you thought this story has potential- I'll see about getting it to that point. Report Review
The story was very well written, but the inclusion of Daphne seemed needless. Maybe you didn't intend to write it this way, but what seemed apparent was that it wasn't just affection that Harry felt for Ginny, but deep love. It could have been a beautiful love story and I'd have given in 10/10 had it not been for the divorce. Somehow, the whole bit about their love fading and Harry marrying Daphne seemed forced.
The connection between Harry and Ginny was beautiful and that is why I kept asking myself, why did you make them part ways? Daphne, whom you actually paired him with was like a prop, wouldn't have made a difference to the story had you not included her.
On a good note, the ending almost made me cry...I just wish you had kept it h/g and not what you did to it:(Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I'm glad you think it was well-written.
I recently read an article about ex-spouses caring for their exes with Alzheimer's and that's where I got the inspiration for this story. I wanted to show the deep friendship Harry felt for Ginny and I thought that Daphne would help to show how Harry had moved on as well as provide support for him.
However, I can see where you're coming from. Daphne wasn't needed, persay, but I wanted her there. I'm sorry it seemed forced to you- that wasn't my intention at all. I am glad that you liked the connection between Ginny and Harry, though.
I will think about the inclusion of Daphne, though. Thanks so much for your input. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection