This is great and I love the stories with the twins but I wanna keep reading their story as professors! I wanna see if she chooses remus or snape. I wanna know what isis does at the end of the year when sirius goes back on the run! Please continue!Author's Response: Wow I was not paying attention to the fact that I had a new review! I am very sorry for this late response! Thank you for your review! Report Review
I love bacon too! It smells like heaven.Author's Response: Yes it does! Thank you for your review! Report Review
That was lovely. I got teary eyed. :)Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
That really was bittersweet. It was moving and sad. You did a great job making the bacon important in such a heart wrenching story. Your writing is well done as well: grammar, flow, tense, etc... all very well done.
I did see one typo: I was amazed to discover Isis like to cook the way Muggles did.
I'm guessing it was meant to be "liked". :)
Anyways, the story was very well done! Thank you for entering the challenge. ^.^ --Jenna
(results won't be out until Dec of course)Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed my story! The story just came to life on its own and I am very pleased with how it turned out.
Yes it is supposed to the "liked". I will have to go back and fix that. :)
You're welcome I really enjoyed the challenge! Report Review
Hello there! I'm here with your review as requested. I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this. Please forgive me for the long wait. I've been in the process of moving into my dorm and starting my school work, so things have been a little hectic. But I finally made time, and I'm so glad I did!
This piece was awesome. It was moving and captivating, and I enjoyed every bit of it. There was so much emotion crammed into this little piece. Absolutely beautiful. And you got it across wonderfully. You write brilliantly, you really do. There was depth and emotion in every part of this piece, and it flowed perfectly. I love how you worked the memory into it. It was so heartfelt.
I'm sorry I don't have much CC for you. There just isn't much for me to tell you in that area because you did everything awesomely!
Thank you so much for requesting and introducing me to this lovely piece. :)Author's Response: I am glad you were able to find some time to read and review my story! I really did not mind waiting.
I am thrilled that you enjoyed this story so much! I don't mind that you don't have much CC, that just means I accomplished what I wanted with this story. :)
Thank you again for review my story! :D Report Review
Hey there! Here with your review :)
I'm so glad you decided to re-post in my thread! I really enjoyed this one. I'm actually competing in the challenge as well, and it must have been very hard to make bacon part of a story without making a joke out of it, but you definitely pulled it off, in my opinion. Sirius's emotions really came through very well, and it was neat that you used a happy memory (which was very entertaining to read) to induce sadness in him. I think you characterized him very well.
I think this one stands just fine on its own, though I think readers will be intrigued to check out your other stories about this pairing just from this little taste. Your writing flows very smoothly and I liked your OC, Isis. She seems like a great partner for Sirius, considering his playful, carefree nature.
My only small critique would be that I saw a few technical errors, like misspellings and words missing out of sentences. You could get a beta to double-check stuff for you, as that might be the easiest way to correct these mistakes, or you could just try to proofread another time before posting. Either way, they're very small and didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story at all.
Great job! Your work is lovely, so please feel free to re-request for other stories in the future. Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my feedback is helpful to you! :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by and reviewing my story!
I am very please that you feel that the story made bacon important without being silly. I am also happy to hear it stands well on its own. I do hope that this makes people want to go and read the others.
When creating Isis's character it was very important to create a woman that could have fun with Sirius and bring him back to reality at the same time.
I've been considering getting a beta to catch those little errors that I miss. Though I am glad that the ones you found were very small and did not detract from your enjoyment of the story.
Thank you again! :D Report Review
Aah :) I really liked this side-story! I think it presents Sirius' love for Isis in a way that was not fully shown in Double Trouble. Don't get me wrong, it was obvious Sirius loves her but I just wasn't sure to what extent. It was nice to read, yet quite saddening at the same time.Author's Response: I am really glad that the extent of their relationship and how deeply Sirius loves Isis comes across in this side story. I do agree with you that in Double Trouble you do not really get a full understanding of Sirius's and Isis's love and having that come across with so many characters to work with can be difficult.
This story was very much packed full of emotion and I intended it to be so. I wanted the food, bacon, to be super important, but at the same time not detract from the story.
Thank you for your review! Report Review
Hello! I really enjoyed this one shot!
You definitely have a way with words. I was salivating for bacon by the end of it. Your imagery and descriptions sprinkled throughout the piece was gorgeous. They really added a lot to the story.
One thing though, there were a couple spelling errors. For example, "For a moment I was confused, why beacon". Beacon should be bacon. There were a couple more like that as well, but its nothing a quick read through won't fix!
Other than that, it was a great one shot! I loved the emotions in this, and I loved the portrayal of their relationship. The idea at the end that it wasn't even a happy memory was heart breaking, and just the perfect end.
NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :D I was beginning to think no one liked this story. I am also really happy that you found my descriptions so provoking. Bacon defiantly a challenge to write into a story in a serious manner so I was happy when this story just developed on its own.
As for the mistakes I caught them after I posted this story and they have been corrected. The new version is waiting validation. However thank you for pointing them out. :)
Thank you again for your review!!! :D Report Review
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