Reading Reviews for Some Hearts
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MsErrol Dear Men, If you listened more we wouldnt have this problem

17th October 2013:
this is brilliant!any more?

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Review #2, by Phoenix_Flames Prologue

29th August 2011:
Hi there! I'm here with your review as requested. First off, I want to apologize for the extremely long wait. I've been busy moving into my dorm and starting school and all of that, but I finally made time for this! And I'm so glad I did.

This was a wonderful first chapter. I loved the way you opened the story with the narrative attitude talking about love and all of it's cons. You elaborated about that perfectly. You really did. I could understand exactly what you were trying to say about something and I felt like I could really connect.

Then Harry and Ginny popped in and that was a much more positive atmosphere. As soon as you described Harry practicing, I knew what was coming. :) And I really felt as if this situation could have gone quite similar if JKR bad written it. Then there was Ron and Hermione and then George.

And George! I must say that I can honestly see him behaving as such after the war. He's lost his twin brother. He's probably quite traumatized and I can see him going off the deep end for a little bit after the war. I thought you pieced this chapter together quite nicely.

You set up the scene wonderfullyand got us introduced to the story and everything in it. Really great job. It seems like you gave a good fic coming.

I can't wait to read the next chapter, but because of my backed up queue, I'm going to empty it out. Then I will return for the next chapter. However, if you haven't heard from me within a few days, feel free to come request again. :)

Thanks!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Glad you liked my chapter, I struggle quite a bit with flow and tone so I'm glad you thought it was good. No worries about the wait, I too was in middle of a move and job interviews and such! No rush on the next chapter, come back whenever you want to read it :)


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Review #3, by Defies_Gravity Dear Men, If you listened more we wouldnt have this problem

29th August 2011:
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love

Author's Response: ahhh thank you so much! I'll get a new chapter out soon enough :),

You totally made my day!


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Review #4, by kirstenalanna Prologue

28th August 2011:
kirstenalanna from the forums here!

Plot:
It sounds pretty solid from what I've heard so far. You have every shade really when it comes to relationships or at least thats how it feels. good start

Characterizaion:
I like it. They're realistic and I enjoyed learning about the different characters.

Flow:
The flow is really good. I like the voice you have with this. It's strong, but not over powering. Is it going to be the same for the rest of the story, or just the prologue?

Cheers!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! Well, I was hoping to keep the tone like the prologue for the rest of the story, that is if the audience likes it.

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Review #5, by academica Prologue

26th August 2011:
Hey there! I'm here at last with your review. I'm sorry it took me a couple days; my schoolwork sort of ate my life this week :)

I really like the way you began this story, with the second-person monologue about the ups and downs of the dating world and how wonderful it can be to find the one person you're meant to be with. It was a little confusing, though, switching back and forth constantly between the second-person inner dialogue and the third-person main plot. It might be easier if you insert more paragraph breaks or used a bold font or something just to make the transition more clear; otherwise the constant inner dialogue begins to be a bit distracting. I would also recommend that you use italics, not quotes, to mark off Harry's thoughts, just so the reader doesn't get confused about when he's thinking to himself and when he's actually talking to Ginny.

I really liked your characterization of Harry and Ginny, and I thought Hermione's racing thoughts were fitting to her personality as well. I'm not certain about Ron, because I've seen the Ron-turns-to-drinking thing a lot before, and I'm not sure I buy the idea of him sitting in a bar to cope with his loss. I would personally prefer to find him sitting at home, acting similarly to how Hermione is right now, but that's just me. George also seems a little out of character to me, since it takes a certain degree of cruelty to use women like that, and it seems like much more of a Malfoy-ish thing to do, even though George did go through a significant trauma after the war and might have changed a little.

I thought your imagery was great, especially the way you described the restaurant and the proposal scene. I could definitely visualize Harry stumbling all over himself and Ginny staring at him with her mouth hanging open like a fish! All in all, that was a really adorable scene.

I would recommend that you look into getting a beta, since I did notice a couple of commas missing and some misspelled words. There weren't a ton of errors, though, so please don't stress too much about it. The few I caught definitely did not detract from my enjoyment of the chapter!

This was a really wonderful start, and the second-person monologue is a really unique feature, or so I think. The whole thing was very funny and sarcastic, which is where my sense of humor goes sometimes, and it flowed very nicely. I think you've got a really good story going here!

Thanks so much for requesting a review, and I really hope my feedback is helpful to you :)

academica

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I was in the middle of moving. Your feedback is very very helpful, especially the bit about the breaks between the second point of view and third. I have to say I agree that Ron would not brood around, and trust me that isn't what he's like in the next chapters and the ones after that, I promise! It was just to showcase the situation that he was in. Again, thank you, your feedback was very helpful for my future chapters :)

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Review #6, by gryffindorgirl0519 Prologue

3rd August 2011:
It is AWESOME. I'm so excited for the next chapter. I love your use of sarcasm, it makes the story almost satirical and it's funny. You just have a few spelling and punctuation issues here and there but overall it is excellent and well written. Definetly going on my favorites list.

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