Reading Reviews for The Summer of Wheezes
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Maybe Lost

18th July 2012:
I'm really liking this beginning. The mood has been set and I think the way you've described the Wizarding world after the war is very believable. How some people think Wizarding Britain will fall, despite the war being over. It's been a few months since the war but everything doesn't just get better in such a short space of time - they've got to rebuild and you get the sense that it's going to be a hard task. Especially for George, and Ron.

Ron's feelings after the war - wishing to be a Muggle, separate from it all - was interesting and I think that's definitely how he might act. His reaction to seeing Fred's face and seeing the shop the way it is now was also very Ron. I like how you described the dynamic between Fred and George too. George being the quiet one, the technical one, happy to stand back and let his brother take the lead. We know that Fred was the more outgoing one, but you show how they compliment one another. How they make each other better. It just shows the closeness of the twins and it adds to the devastation of it all. George's actions are to be expected and shown here with brilliant accuracy.

Great first chapter :)

-Maybe

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!

The time shortly after the war can't have been easy on anyone. It's no longer dealing the threat of death, it's dealing with the aftermath of a society being, basically, destroyed by a mad man. I'm really glad that seemed realistic.

I absolutely love the twins; it is a relief to hear that you think George's relationship with Fred and his reactions are believable.

Thank you!
Del<3


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Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17 Laughter

30th March 2012:
Hi there!

Again, I thought you did a wonderful job portraying Ron, George and even Harry in this chapter. I really like Ron's can do attitude. Your right after hunting Horcruxes this is nothing and I think he knows what an emotional toll that took on the family when he left then. It's sort of like he has to make up for lost time.

I was delighted to see George laughing again. I feel so bad for him knowing that he has to live without Fred. Does he ever use his Magic again?

Harry getting attacked by the rouge Pygmy Puffs was hilarious. Here is the Boy Who Lived twice and he's getting attacked by little fur balls! hahahaha. I am also glad that he told George that he was Sorry even though like George said they knew the risks. I think it was truly believable.

This was great in description, flow and pace. I wasn't bored reading it, although, I am sad now that it's over.

Keep up the great work and thanks again for requesting! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Hi again! Thank you for taking the time to fill my requests, I really appreciate it :)

George laughing in the end was exactly what I pictured it to be. I'd say, yes, he does use his magic again. Pretty sure many of the WWW products are created with magic, so he would have to and all.

Thank you so much!
Del<3


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Review #3, by sapphire_skies Laughter

30th March 2012:
I thought Iíd combine the reviews for these two chapters, I hope you donít mind. My first thought when Iím reading these is that Iím not really feeling the same emotion as the first. Or rather, the emotion hasnít changed, it hasnít deepened into anything else as weíve progressed with the story, and there is a lot of potential there. It feels almost as if weíre just skimming the surface and that thereís a heck of a lot lurking underneath that hasnít been put into words. Weíre only really seeing the tip of the iceberg. Part of the problem I think is the fact that we donít really delve into the mind of a narrator, someone who we can connect emotionally with. Ron appears to be the central character here, the one itís all coming from, but we never really feel what heís feeling in that much depth and I think the story would be a lot better if you had gone into more detail emotionally about what Ron is feeling.

In terms of characterisation, the characters arenít bad. I donít feel we get enough into their minds to say it was excellent or terrible, but from what I saw, except from one comment of Harryís ("I think I'm more anxious about cleaning this store than hunting Horcruxes." I donít think Harry would joke about anything that had happened on that journey so close to its conclusion), it felt right, it made sense. But still, nothing penetrated the surface; it was good, but there was always something just lacking that would have made it great.

However, youíre a very competent writer and in terms of the sentence structure, I thought these two chapters were much better than the first. I still think you did a very good job in conveying just how Fredís death had affected George and his actions (smashing the place up because he thought he heard Fred) were believable, which made the storyline itself very real.

Author's Response: Looking back over this, I can completely agree with you. The emotion hasn't gotten much deeper. It truly wasn't my best idea to write this so soon after a personal tragedy in my own life, and I wish I had waited a bit more.

I see what you mean with the narration as well. If I ever get around to doing another rewrite of these last two chapters, believe me, I will change that. Thank you so much for pointing these things out, as I doubt I would've seen them myself.

Thank you so much,
Del<3


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Review #4, by sapphire_skies Lost

30th March 2012:
Itís an interesting beginning. It draws me in as a reader, thereís enough background to give me a good idea as to back up the charactersí state of mind and enough movement to keep me wanting to read more. However, I wasnít really a fan of the opening sentence. I feel itís a bit too bluntly stated and impersonal for a character that we know so well in the books. Iím not a fan in general of things like that, so perhaps it is me being a little subjective, but it put me off a little.

I do like the mood and the tone youíve set for the piece. I think itís probably fairly accurate for the aftermath of a war that had such an impact on a fairly small community and claimed a lot of lives. I think youíve done well with the emotion so far, it again is believable and the things Ron notices are very in character. I was particularly taken with the way he was affected more by the state of the shop than seeing his brotherís face, though I canít quite see why there would have been a picture of Fred and George above the shop, as there isnít one in canon. But it was very effective.

With regards to characterisation, there wasnít all that much in this chapter to go off, but what you did have was quite good.
The mentions of the Weasley family felt accurate, and I really liked the line, ĎThey were everything that they wanted to be, and Ron was always, deep down, jealous.í I think it shows the growth of Ronís character that he is able to admit that he was jealous of them, and I think itís something heíd only be able to do after heís been through the events of the last book.

On the technical side of things, there were a few awkward sentences, for example the second, ĎNo one who didnít have to be out and about was aroundí, and some that didnít entirely make sense (ĎNone of the Weasleys wanted to do anything, or, more accurately, didnít know what to do anymoreí), but spelling and punctuation was generally good.

A good start overall.

Author's Response: I'll be sure to rework that first sentence and the awkward ones on my next update of this, thank you for pointing them out :)

I'm glad you think I did well with the emotion. That was probably one of the hardest things to capture, as I have to real experience with war and its aftermath.

Thank you!
Del<3


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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 Hope

30th March 2012:
I really liked all of the different changes that happen in this chapter. I think you're doing a great job portraying Ron and George.

It's nice to be able to see Ron step up and take some responsibility along with George finally managing to start somewhat living again. I'm feeling the emotions through this chapter just as well as the first one.

I think it flows smoothly and the pace is well balanced. I also didn't see any typos/spelling errors, or confusing sentences.

Overall, I think you did a great job carrying over from your first chapter into this one. I can invision this happening between Ron and George easily.

Keep up the good work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: I think that Ron would be the one most capable of helping George. Not only because they were closest in age, but because of what he did to Harry and Hermione during the hunt for Horcruxes. I'd imagine he would hate feeling like he's abandoning someone he cares about again and would do everything to fix it.

Thank you!

Del<3


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Review #6, by ScorpiusRose17 Lost

30th March 2012:
This was sad. I felt the emotions coming right off of this as I read through it. It made it that more real and believable, because war isn't a grand thing nor is picking up the pieces afterwards.

I could honestly picture that this would be how George would feel after Fred died. He lost his other half, so he has to be able to deal with it in his own way even if it's distructive. I could also believe that Ron would be the one to pick up more on what George was feeling because they did more together because they were close in age.

I did notice one thing that made me a bit curious. You mentioned that everyone has someone besides Charlie, but you never mentioned Percy. Why is that?

I didn't notice any typos/spelling errors or confusing sentences.

Overall, I thought you did a great job taking a moment in time and expressing what I could picture as happening between these two brothers and their family.

Keep up the good work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: ...I never realized I forgot Percy. That's just me, not really liking him, haha. I'll add him and Audrey in :)

I'm so glad that the emotions came off well. Thank you!

Del<3


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Review #7, by Siriusgirl Hope

28th March 2012:
OH wow, this is so sad, but George must have gone through a really rough time losing his twin, and JKR says he never completely gets over it. I think you do a great job showing it.

Author's Response: I can't imagine him ever completely getting over it. Moving on? Yes, absolutely, but not getting over or forgetting it.

Thank you!

Del<3


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Review #8, by SexyDoorFrames Hope

28th March 2012:
Hey. Another amazing chapter.

You write emotion really well, I mean, it's heartbreaking and you really understand what the characters are going through. Once again, your description is superb. You can slowly see George healing. I mean, I love how Ron is helping him, it's really beautiful to read about, it just shows what kind of family the Weasleys are. I like how George slowly coming around the idea of opening the shop, him not wanting to, makes perfect sense but near the end of the chapter, it decided it was time to clean, was very realistic. I like that Ron is pushing him, but not too hard. And I like they way you presented Ron and Hermiones relationship, it felt very canon. And the argument! Wow, but I suppose certain things needed to be said.

This was another great chapter and I loved reading it! xx

Author's Response: I don't know what to say, thank you.

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Review #9, by SexyDoorFrames Lost

28th March 2012:
Hey :) I really enjoyed this.

You've managed to capture George and Ron beautifully. I really enjoy when people do a really good take on them and they were perfect in here, it could have been canon for all I was reading. Both of their pains is understandable and you really understand the heartache they've been through. I love the little details you've added about Fred and Georges relationship.

Your descriptions were amazing. Each one helped set out the scene. This was really well written and I loved it from start to finish.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Working with Ron was, admittedly, difficult because of the fact that he's so well known in canon, and I tried to stick to that.

Ahh, descriptions. I love them so much. I find it easier to write description than dialogue, so I'm glad you think they were done well :)

Del<3


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Review #10, by megan2u Hope

2nd October 2011:
Another emotionally wrenching chapter! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #11, by macadamia Lost

20th August 2011:
Hey. macadamianwonders with your requested review. (Sorry I took awhile to get to this.)

Before I say anything, I have to say that I love your title. It's perfect for the story. :)

So, you were concerned with your portrayal of Ron and George. I thought it was beautifully done. The way Ron seemed so hardened and George so broken was so...gah, I don't even know how to describe it. It was just perfect.

I also thought your descriptions were very nice. They brought out that depressing post-war atmosphere which thoroughly saddened me. The contrast of the title with this misery is probably why it's so effective (and why I love the title so much).

There were, however, a few grammar mistakes, mostly in the beginning. And maybe a few words that felt a little off. But they aren't huge errors that detract from the story itself. I guess I'm just picky. ;)
If you would like me to point them out I'd be happy to.

Other than that, great work. I'm excited to see where this will go.

Author's Response: Don't worry about it! I know getting around to reviews takes time :)

I'm glad you like the title. I tend to have trouble with them :3

I'm very glad that Ron and George came across so wonderfully! The Weasleys are probably some of the hardest characters to write, since we know them so well in canon.

Thank you so much for the review! Have a good day :)


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Review #12, by anonymous diva Lost

17th August 2011:
well this was certainly a very nice and well written chapter. It depicts the pain Ron feels for his brother and also his determination and hopefulness in getting the old George back. You did a very nice job considering the "challenge"you have talked about before. So keep it up.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you thought it well written :)

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Review #13, by megan2u Lost

6th August 2011:
Wow. Loved it! Love how you were able to gain inspiration from my silly challenge about Ron Weasley working a summer job, and got THIS!
I'm not a big stickler (sp?) for following challenges to a tee, for me it's about getting to read new stories written by new authors and hopefully providing some motivation and inspiration for them to write. So yes, these is still a valid entry for my challenge, and I love it!
Love how much detail you've included about George and Fred's relationship, about how affected by everything going on Ron is. This seems very real, and yes it is dark, but with the subject matter it should be!
Honestly, this was a very touching piece, full of heart, can't wait to read the rest!
Thanks again for participating in my challenge, I'm just about to send out the message announcing the winners!
You're awesome, this story is awesome! :)

megan2u (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! You're awesome too, the challenge was fantastic :)

I'm glad what I wrote about Fred/George/Ron came across real, I was a little worried about that.

And thank you so much for first place! It's a real honor, I appreciate it. Hopefully the rest of the story doesn't let you down - I should be posting chapter two in a few days. Thank you!


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