So very beautiful, I was hooked the moment I started reading! I almost burst into tears and I'm glad my mum wasn't here because she'd just laugh at me. But anyway, very good read and its so rich in minor details that give you a scope of how George's feelings were and I love that you didn't force the issue, make it overdramatic and cliche. Anyway, please update more of your work! (BTB: I got my third chapter to my fanfic up, "This is Angelina" if you want to take a look :D)Author's Response: First of all, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I've had a lot of exams recently and haven't been near HPFF in weeks unfortunately!! You can imagine my pleasant surprise to see all these great reviews...nearly all from you!! I'm really really glad you've enjoyed this story so much, it was one of my favourites to write! Once I respond to all your kind reviews, I'll head on over to This Is Angelina...you know how much I love George and Angelina!!! Report Review
Very good! :D It is in a very good style, it got me hooked! Please write more! :) Its quite sad that he lost his twin - I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost mine!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked my style, it was very different from anything I'd tried before! Sorry it made you sad. I don't have a twin, so I just had to base it on how I thought George would feel!
Thanks for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
Yes, with the support and love of friends and family George will make it. Another excellent one shot and another 10/10. Look forward to reading your longer story when you release it. Good work.Author's Response: Thanks again for another review, it really is appreciated! I hope you enjoy the longer story, it's still awaiting validation, but hopefully should be up soon...fingers crossed! Report Review
Wow. That was a very good story. I cant find the words to say anything else.Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read and review. It is much appreciated, and I'm glad you enjoyed! Report Review
This is so sad, but really good, if you plan to write more please do :)Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! i'm planning to leave this particular piece as a one-shot with a hopeful ending. However, I have more work awaiting validation concerning the Weasleys which might interest you once it's uploaded! Report Review
This is an interesting and well written one-shot. The series of traps was forgotten after the first book and it is nice to see it brought back. The inclusion of the Mirror of Erised was a very nice touch, as was Harry's new deepest desire. There were only a few questions that came to mind as I was reading:
Firstly, Harry, Ron and Hermione first accessed the passageway that leads to the mirror by going down a trap door. In the story George didn't know how he got there, but wouldn't it be kind of hard to miss going through a trap door?
As well, your description of the characters was great. It fit perfectly into the story and it wasn't jarring to the reader. The only point I'd make is that you described George as losing a lot of weight due to his refusal to eat. I got the picture that this story was taking place several days after the final battle (correct me if I'm wrong), and I don't think that hiis lack of appetite would show so soon. But then again I have no personal experience in that regard. :)
Finally, the sentence "A jet of light hit it and it smashed it immediately" is awkward to read due to the use of "it" for multiple objects. I think you could eliminate the second "it" entirely to avoid this problem.
Other than that, it is a great read with a hopeful ending. The only other thing I'd comment on is a formatting thing, not a writing thing. I think you should break up the large paragraphs in the beginning. They're so full of useful and interesting information but the large blocks of text can be hurtful on the eyes.
You did a great job with writing this story, with good characterization! The writing expressed George's feelings beautifully.Author's Response: Thanks for a really detailed and extremely useful review! The questions you brought up were very valid and I shall clear them up as best I can. As for the trap door, I agree it would be very difficult to miss going through a trap door. This was a plot problem I encountered while writing and the only way I could get past it was by creating an alternative entrance to the series of traps, as I didn't imagine George was likely to just go through it!
As for him losing so much weight so quickly, I have no personal experience there either! But I just wanted to emphasise how ill and deathly he appeared next to the seemingly alive Fred.
As for the awkward phrasing, the second use of 'it' was a typo on my part and was never meant to be there! And finally, I'm still trying to get used to formatting, but have taken what you said into account and will bear it in mind for future projects!!
Again, thank you so much for not only taking the time to read my story, but also for writing such an honest and brilliant review. It really means a lot and I appreciate that you liked it! Report Review
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