THIS IS SO PURRRDY. I REALLY LOVE IT. I love the humour and the writing and your style. Really, very good and very, very cute!
Mort is super adorable. He's got a great stream of consciousness/thought train/whatever you want to call it... really funny. I can imagine the dungeons and the corridors being really scary to a little firstie! You also did really well writing a younger person. I always get it wrong: either they are way too mature and can argue like a sarcastic seventeen year old or they are too immature and spend there whole time sucking on their thumb and crying fo der momma.
You've got it spot on.
I love it! Really cute, really fluffy. Gaaaw. Well done. ♥Author's Response: Thank you so so so so so much! I'm secretly eleven, so writing eleven-year-olds is my favourite. XD Thank you again for the review -- it was lovely. Report Review
HAHAHA. I LOVED THIS SO MUCH. i loved the humor. very subtle. not really in-your-face -- which was awesome. awesome, because sometimes you really need that kind of humor. :)
also, anything inspired by justonemorefic is got to be good. :D
favorite line: Mortimer Forney, destined for great things but defeated by a bunch of corridors...
SO SAD, but so funny. xP and goodness, if i went to hogwarts...my family and friends would never hear from me again. i'd be exactly like mortimer. lost. all the time. my sense of direction is absolutely garbage. it's so sad. xP and it would suck even more because things in the castle look pretty much the same and i rely on trees and rocks to figure out my way around the world.
anyways. -rant over-
i love your writing style. it's just so nice. your wording. the way the sentences go together. it's so easy to read, and your character is so likable. you just want to give him a big hug. and the humor. i love it! great one-shot. :D
oh, mortimer. maps are your friends, you know! :D
♥Author's Response: I'm not very good at in-your-face humour, so I'm glad you liked my brand of humour. And yes, Gina's brilliant and so are her stories.
I have a terrible sense of direction as well! I can't get anywhere. -high five- Hogwarts would be a disaster.
And eep, thank you so much for the compliments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Mort'll have to get a map, one day...
What if Albus nicks it for him?
em xx Report Review
I know which line from Capers this is.
Ergo I am excited ♥
You know, this is actually something I've always wondered about. Hogwarts must have the worst health and safety record in the entire history of wizardom. I mean, like, Montague gets shoved in a vanishing cabinet and goes missing for about a year, and everyone's just like '...nah, it'd be effort to find him, lowe that.'
First paragraph...oooh I love it already. Auntie Marmalade - he has an Auntie Marmalade! Who lives in a castle! This kid is proper wizardy material and - oo, er, I should probably concentrate on your fic.
MORTIMER, HANG IN THERE. Oh my word. I can actually, completely see this happening to a first year, for comedy, but now I'm like NO MORT NO.
- 'it was a labyrinthine construction that could only have been built by a sadistic git. (Slytherin had been in charge of the blueprints down here.)' - haha, true! I can imagine Slytherin sitting there like I will have my bitter and sadistic revenge on generations of ickle firsties because I'm bitter like that etc etc.
I loved the dark humour of this fic, and it actually made me laugh out loud at this bit - 'He was wild-eyed and gibbering about a classroom that housed a giant chicken that spoke. (The Charms professor wrote it off as delirium, but the Astronomy professor muttered, “Grendel,” and was seen trying to get Mortimer to explain where he’d found it.)' GRENDEL. Oh. brb dying.
This was such a dark-but-sweet-but-hilarious-but filled me with a certain sense of dread fic. I kind of love Mort's character. I'd would read, like, a whole universe of fics about this guy. Reuniting Grendel and the Astronomy Professor. Going on to work at the Ministry...AND THEN GETTING LOST THERE TOO *dramatic music*
this was really lovely, thank you for writing it! ♥Author's Response: This...this is a very long review. I hadn't thought of Montague! But I like that it fits and I can keep that in my head for how to explain it in future. XD Thank you for that. Mort is proper wizarding material, yeah -- an old Slytherin family, but he's not cruel or a git. Just ambitious and he likes the colour green.
That's what I imagined Slytherin doing too. "If we have to have these mudbloods in here I'm going to make it hell for those with no sense of direction."
GRENDEL IS MY LOVE. I'm so glad everyone likes him and doesn't look at me weird.
I do actually have a story planned that features Mort again. I'm thinking that I'll change the era so he can go to school with Slytherin!Albus and they can be chums and such. But before that I'm going to write a story about Grendel and elaborate on Mort's work at the Ministry. So you shall get your universe! He shall get lost everywhere he goes.
The only problem is this: is this the Mort-verse, or the Grendel-verse?
This review was outrageously, brilliantly wonderful, so thank YOU for writing it. xx Report Review
BAWWW SO FREAKING CUTE! I can just take a minute and roll around in a ball of deliriousness and kittens in appreciation of this one-shot?
Mort is so wonderful - a Slytherin, but not a horrible evil one. He's actually hilariously melodramtic, and rather clever (although clearly a horrible navigator) and altogether a rather normal lad; well normal as far as Hogwarts goes, at any rate. And then he just gets lost for days, and no one is at all bothered by it because Slytherin first years disappear ALL THE TIME.
This was all just so adorable and magical and wonderful, and I love it to bits!! Great work!!
- MaryAuthor's Response: Can I take a minute and roll around in a ball of deliriousness and kittens in appreciation of this review? It's brilliant! Mort is melodramatic, yes -- I suspect most eleven-year-olds are. Slytherin firsties have a habit of disappearing so no one cares, because that's just the sort of place Hogwarts is and I love it. XD Thanks for the review! xx Report Review
This overflowed with cute and funny ♥
I loved how you ran the sentances onto one another, poor Mort's scatterbrained thoughts ♥
Just a shadow Mort, Just a shadow.
That opening line was brilliant! Hahah. Intelligent thinking there. Oh this was so fluffy and funny. Uncle Bartholomew shadows haha!
And of course, who could not love Grendel? Absolutely crazy and absolutely brilliant. I like how you continued the theme of him losing things (I think? Were those his pets he lost at the end?). Mort is so endearing. Baww. ♥Author's Response: Gosh, thank you very much! Mort's thoughts are a little bit like mine, so writing them is so very natural. GRENDEL.
They weren't his pets that were getting lost, but he did keep losing things. Forever. Poor thing!
Thanks for the review! xx Report Review
What a gorgeous little one shot!
It is so light feeling and youthful, despite the ominous dungeon corridors that Mortimer is wandering though. It all was really well portrayed, and the eeriness felt almost tongue in cheek, poor ickle firstie. I loved this. I really did. The ending bit outside of Mortimer's POV worked really well and capping it all together. And that bit about Grendel? Priceless. So creative!!
Great work!!Author's Response: What a gorgeous review! Grendel is fantastic. XD And he's a hit! Everyone loves Grendel, which makes me happy as I also love Grendel. And you, for leaving this review. Thank you very much, my dear! Report Review
HAAAI. You might not remember me, but I remember you and while I was stalking Gina's reviews earlier this month (... yup, lack of life presents itself) I found your name and I was like eee, because you're back and writing again. Eee! I love that this was inspired by Capers -- it's a worthy addition to that little universe. It's vaguely cracky and genuinely adorbz, which are two of my favorite things. It just makes me happy, especially because this is a first-year who isn't dumbed down because the author doesn't remember what it was like being eleven (even though usually the authors had only just left behind that adorable/awkward age). Mortimer is so cute, I want to squish his cheeks and threaten to eat him up as if he were a particularly chubby baby. And so deftly characterized in such a relatively short space, too! You don't see Slytherins like this essentially ever, so that made me happy too. Just -- all-around happiness. And Grendel is just a stroke of brilliant naming. I can't even express how much I liked that little aside.
Pure love, lots of crack-tinted happiness, and much joy to see you back again ♥Author's Response: GUBBY. GUBBY. GUBSTER. (don't mind me, just over here flailing at Gubby (!!!) leaving me a review.) Of course I remember you!
Aaahh, flailing still. I love Capers and I'm so very happy that you think it's worthy. And that it makes you happy! Making people happy is lovely. I love it to bits. And I'm secretly eleven (seventeenth birthday? two months ago? nahhh), so writing eleven-year-olds is my favourite.
Even though he's not a git, I can still clearly see him as a Slytherin. And you're right, you never see Slytherins like this and that makes me sad, so I wrote one.
And Grendel is my favourite.
Much joy to see you! I was afraid you'd left the HPFF-world, but then I return and you're still here and ee! Thank you for the review, Gub. Made me day. Ă¢Â™Â¥ Report Review
THAT WAS SO ADORABLE.
My favorite part ever: Grendel. When Mortimer stumbled in with his wild eyes, gibbering about a chicken, I laughed out loud.
I thought this was really cute, the idea of Slytherin first years (and kudos to you for making a Slytherin who isn't a git, going against the stereotype trap) getting lost in Hogwarts. And the fact that no one even batted an eye at his absence was also brilliant.
Very well-written, very entertaining, and it left a smile on my face. By the way, I'd like to add that I adore the name Mortimer.
10/10Author's Response: I forget about HPFF for a week or two and then I return and BAM! Reviews! That has never happened to me before. XD I'm very, very glad that you enjoyed the story -- I loved writing it. Grendel is also my favourite part, I must admit. Quite possibly one of the best ideas I've ever had.
Slytherins aren't all gits -- if you have Gryffindors who aren't always very brave and Hufflepuffs who are gits, then Slytherin can have non-gits. It all works out. I can't see Hogwarts getting too worried about lost students, to be honest. They'd probably do something about it...eventually...when they fancied it...
I, too, adore the name Mortimer. And your review!
emma xx Report Review
I AM HERE AND I AM SO EXCITED. Even though I already read it.
Mort is probably the most adorable Slytherin ever. He has an Auntie Marmalade (any relation to Lady Marmalade? My, my!). He's so helpless right in the first few paragraphs! A little firstie, just a shadow -- is it just a shadow, Mort? Is it? -squishes- I think he and Albus would totally bond. Like, Albus would walk him around with a hand on his shoulder, "I remember the time I got lost here..."
Baw, if you lose yourself in the castle, Mort, you're not going to get yourself back! I extra adore this line: destined for great things but defeated by a bunch of corridors... I just imagined this great corridor monster with huge teeth, sucking him in.
GRENDEL THE CHICKEN. That was my other fav bit. Mythical giant chicken in the dungeons? Obviously.
♥ ♥ ♥ for writing a most brill one-shot (I can't believe I inspired it! 8D) It's got all the fun magicalness that's been so rare. Silly wizards and their illogical architecture and unexplainable magic chickens and blithe treatment of lost children.Author's Response: GINA. I AM EXCITED YOU ARE EXCITED. I did mean to link you but I kept forgetting. But you found it by yourself! Which is brilliant.
Mort, despite being a Slytherin, is rather adorable. I just want to cuddle him to bits. And I don't think that's in contrast to his house -- I'm sure he'd grow up to be ambitious and (a little bit) greedy and...gah, you've giving me ideas. Especially with Albus! I might have to write that. And Auntie Marmalade was just a coincidence, I think.
I now also imagine corridors with teeth. Perhaps that's something he tells to embellish the story later? Eep, I like that.
Thank you so muchly for the review, Gina! The fun magicalness is the best thing about writing hpff -- although admittedly not much of my stuff has it, I'm regaining it slowly and blimey, it's so much fun.
I also imagined that Hogwarts people just wouldn't be fussed about missing eleven-year-olds. Yeah, they're lost, but they'll turn up eventually and nothing TOO bad could happen to them. I'm so glad you liked it, lovely! Report Review
Oh Merlin, this is brilliant! You've got a great sense of humour and I had to laugh out loud a couple of times when reading this. The "epilogue" was a bit too long for me, but I really enjoyed the part about Grendel in it. Sooo funny! You did a very good job here.Author's Response: Ah, the epilogue that wouldn't end. That gave me ridiculous amounts of trouble. I realised too late that I'd timed everything wrong and then the second part just wouldn't end. It was originally longer, believe it or not.
Grendel is my favourite bit too, I must admit. I don't think I should have put all the extra information about Grendel in -- perhaps I'll write a one-shot about Grendel and then take it out of Rite of Passage? Hmm, I shall think about it.
Thank you very much for the review -- I'm glad I made you laugh, and you've given me plenty to think about when I revise this again. Report Review
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