wow, i really want to know who the girl in the mirror is! a sister maybe? some other relative? i really don't have a clue! but this is getting very interesting. another wonderful chapter. keep up the amazing writing! (: i can't wait for another update!Author's Response: You just made my day, twice! I won't say who she is but it will hopefully be a surprise, the next chapter will be up as soon as I update one of my other stories. Thanks so much! Report Review
oh my! what could be going on? how will Blaise react to Luna finding him so vulnerable? this was a wonderful chapter, despite the short length. i can't wait to read more!!Author's Response: Thank you :) Glad the shortness didn't make it too horrid, and Blaise certainly won't be all sunshine and daisies, I'll say that. Report Review
I love the potential of this plot and the way you write Luna is exquisite. Excited for the next chapter :)Author's Response: Exquisite? Awe you just made my day! Thanks so much for the lovely review :) Report Review
I absolutely adore strange ships and I think this one is especially interesting! I think you've done a lovely job of keeping Luna in character and she can be extremely difficult! The confidence with which you introduce her and her adoration of the Heliopuffs is charming and sets the scene well for this introductory chapter.
You've taken the world and characters in a whole different direction with Blaise's faerie blood and the idea of his mother being a notorious criminal. I think this plotline is really interesting and you've been very creative with it :-) Its hard to tell too much about the plot and characters from just this chapter, but I think you've set up the concepts behind it really well!
I love that you keep bringing the Heliopuffs back in throughout the story to show that she is so constantly conscious of these things around her. Luna is such a lovely and complex character and I always love to read about her! I'm interested to see how she interacts with Blaise in the future and I loved the scene where she put the owl feather behind her ear and fell asleep :-) The way you've written Luna makes a lot of sense, as she is lost in thought most of the time but has the best intentions.
The only criticism I have to offer would be to expand the story more. When you add unfamiliar things to this world it is most effective if you explain them in great detail. I think you have some great ideas here with faeries but you haven't given much information about them. Maybe you could add a bit more in the ways of Luna's thoughts and actions throughout the day before her dream. You spent more time discussing Heliopuffs than you did faeries and I think if you were this detailed in your description of faeries and maybe introduced your idea of them it would really add to the story.
I think you've done a great job! Good luck with the challenge!
~LunnahAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! This is such a marvelous review! Thanks for taking the time :)
So gladLuna's character came off well, I tried really hard to keep her canon and not make her seem like an entirely new character.
There's definately allot more information about faeries in the next chapter, I agree that there wasn't enough in this chapter, but hopefully the next one will make up for it.
Thanks again for the review! Report Review
I adore Blaise/Luna stories and am so excited that you are taking on the challenge of writing them. There aren't that many on this site so finding another one makes me very happy!! You have a great start to a story here and I am very eager to see where you take this. I can'T wait for the next update! Keep up the amazing work!! (:Author's Response: Yay! another Blaise/Luna lover! They're such a fun couple to write/read about. I have the next chapter completed but I have another chapter for a different story in the ques right now but as soon as it gets through then this will be next :)
Thanks for the lovely review it made my day! Report Review
Hey there! academica here with your requested review :)
Yay, a challenge piece! I love the title you selected for the story. This is definitely an unusual pairing and I think you did them both justice as far as characterization. I also love the idea of the Blindy poison; I don't remember that from canon, so I'm going to assume you made it up, and I think it's quite creative and clever.
I would have liked to see a little bit more of a build-up in this introductory chapter, however, maybe by adding more imagery to set the scene or exploring the characters of Luna and Blaise a little more fully before introducing them to one another. The flow of the story was a little halting as well, probably because the shifts between scenes were so abrupt. You could improve a little by making the transitions more gradual, i.e. by having Luna dream about Blaise after she finishes her day and goes to bed.
This is a really interesting concept for a story, and I think you have a good shot at the challenge based on my initial assessment. I didn't notice any obvious spelling, grammar or punctuation errors either, which is always good.
Great job! Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my comments are helpful :) I really enjoyed reading your work!
academicaAuthor's Response: Thank you! I did make up the Blindy Water so I'm glad it worked.
I see what you mean about better build up and transitions, I'll definately work on that in my next edit.
Thanks so much, this really was a helpful review! Report Review
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