I really think that you've gotten the role of a grandmother spot on in this. The story-telling, the mentions of youth now turned into concern, the little knacks of distracting children and, most of all, not even shouting when there was a mess being made!
You've really got that grandmother feel going on and your characterisation of James and Samantha is wonderful because of their exact amount of childishness.
I feel like you never have to try hard when you write - the words just flow out of your fingertips, because you have the passion to write what you've set down to write and I find that wonderful, because you've done such an amazing job on it.
I know this is getting old and repetitive, but I honestly don't know what to say and the only critique I have would be that you must update soon, ahah.
You have such talent and such a broad imagination and a brilliant variety of stories - they're all just too wonderful.
xxxAuthor's Response: This story is dedicated to my grandmother, which is why I hardly pick it up, but REALLY want to. I'm glad you felt that I got the role of a grandmother just right. Haha, that's Leona for you though. She won't scream because she was a pain herself, very early feminist. But that will come into play later. I feel like most old ladies would have had a panic attack over James' behavior. :P
Like I said in another response, I am floored by your reaction to my writing and stories. I just -wow. You make me feel so good about my skills and want to write more so I can update more! Writing is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to tackle, which is why I love it. There is something so fufilling and powerful about creating worlds and putting them into words, but equally challenging.
Thank you so much, like really, I can't express how awesome your reviews are. I'm so happy you like my stories and writing and everything.
--Ellie Report Review
Ellie! Thank you so much for entering my challenge!
Okay, here comes your well-deserved review:
It is such a wonderful idea. I can tell it's been inspired by your grandmother, may she rest in peace.
I really adored this. At first, I was wondering why you put Sage's tale in quotation marks, and where it was even going. You cleared it up nicely though, it's something I can easily imagine and relate too. Everyone should have a grandmother like that, telling tales and distributing cookies. The way you let us see James and Samantha through her eyes was precious.
I wonder if or how the seer will come up again.
And Leona?! I guess the name is probably after your family member but, as you know, holds meaning for me too.
As far as I can tell, your characters seem very engaging. I can't wait to read more about Leona.
I'm not sure about the timeline, I thought that James was born on March 27th, 1960, but according to your summary, Leona dies that same year. Maybe it was intentional because the story follows a different timeline, then feel free to ignore this. It's nothing huge, and maybe it'll make sense during the course of the story. Or we're talking about a different James altogether :) [Lol, I just wanted to write Jameses, or is it Jami? :P - Okay, bad joke.]
Haha, I was like 'Huh, why does she sent James for a broom?` I really seem to read too much HP fanfiction, as I was thinking: broom = flying, and not: broom = cleaning. :)
I didn't catch any major mistakes, except for some places where I would have put a comma. But I can't really talk. And can I just say that I love reading your stories. I think I have a passable range of vocabulary, and love picking up new words (non-native speaker here).
Anyway, this was a brilliant beginning!
xox LeoAuthor's Response: Leo!!
Haha, yes. I remember I told you that Leona was a family name -so I stuck with it ;) Leona has been a planned character in my head since 2006 when I first started "The Will to Live" and she certainly will have her stories to tell us all haha. I'm sure Sage will come up again, but Leona's not a Seer. The focus was more on wizarding stories and legends than anything else, which might be a theme or not throughout this fic :P
And OMG I am such a fail. I changed the date! I posted the summary awhile back before I got my timeline in order. 1900-1965! Thank you so much for pointing that out; you were correct about your assumed Jamsie-poo lol XD
Haha, yeah, James learns all about brooms early. I have actually made changes to this already (because I'm a perfectionist nut) and once the edits have been validated -he will be both flying and cleaning. To highlight the connection between the muggle and the magical even more.
Thanks so much for the review (so quick too)! I'm glad you enjoyed this rather short beginning and hope you pop in to see how it's doing in the future. Your challenge has inspired me to write something that I have long wanted to write, so many thanks :)
P.S. I had no idea that English was not your first language! Like, I couldn't tell from your writing at all or anything! *blown away* I don't think I could write as well as you do in a different language,kudos to you!
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