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What struck me first in this new chapter of yours is the presence of all those Muggle electronic appliances, in addition to the laptop computer. Especially Sybill and Sophia's Smartphones. (One does wonder how the battery could still not be dead even though it hadn't been used for quite a while . . . unless she knows to regularly recharge it?) To me at least, Sybill is dependent on, maybe even addicted to, her precious computer. The same could be said of Sophia and her phone. I understand that London has some of the world's most complex streets, but still.
It was really funny when Sybill felt proud of Sophia because she knew Auntie was calling before she even answered the phone. ;) Sometimes it's good to know that the reader knows things that the main characters don't. Your chapters are seldom over 3,000 words, but they usually carry more information than the 10,000+ ones (which, BTW, must be really skillfully done if not to bore the readers out of their skulls), simply because you do not fear to let us readers do the thinking and fill up spots on our own. Too much detail kills the imagination, and it makes me feel like some sort of voyeur.
What does MLE stand for, anyway? I'm royally lost.
That's all for now. Good luck on whatever you have next. I might get another chapter or two ready to mail by Christmas. I've been stuck in Chapters 13 and 15 because they're both delicately emotional and as translator I simply cannot afford to f___ them up. So I kept on revising and after what seemed like a million rounds I might just call them perfect. As you know, the storyline itself isn't mine, so I had to keep going over it to figure out what exactly the author was trying to express, and whether there were points hidden in between the lines. Sometimes I realize the deeper meanings of Severus or Rebecca's actions or words only after typing it out for the fifth time. Do you have similar experiences while making up your stories, when you look back at what you've written, and go like, "Hey, this makes Bella _ / Gabe must be oblivious that _ / etc."?
What good books have you been reading lately? Did you finish that novel you mentioned last time? I bought an iPad 2 several weeks ago and was totally engrossed in a PDF-ebook-downloading mania (you wouldn't believe what kind of good books I've found), so I sort of neglected reading here, and only just found out that you've updated this fic. :) Wonder if you'll ever be elevated to Trusted Authors? Fingers crossed that it won't be long.
P.S. Do you happen to know Ms. K's birthday? [reply by mail, of course] There's this other translation that's so lengthy that I might only do one chapter per year . . . you know, the one about a Slytherin girl who flew all the way to London? Or did I forget to send you the first chapter and you have no idea what I'm talking about?Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to get to responding. I've been so busy. I know everyone's busy but I feel especially so since I've got a lot to do this time of year plus I'm trying to get things done so I can have knee surgery. For sure, Sybill is addicted to her laptop. Her confidence is so low that she thinks she has to depend on her computer to be a psychic. I know many people in real life who are addicted to their cell phones. I get so tired of talking to people and they're busy texting or reading e-mails. I don't have a cell phone but may buy one in the next month. I will take what you said about my short chapters as a compliment. Kerichi is always after me to let the readers think for themselves. I tend to write shorter pieces anyway, no matter what I'm writing. I'm in favor of condensing things. I was trained to get to the point early, otherwise readers get impatient and may never understand what you are trying to say since they don't want to read that far. How are you enjoying your iPad? I bought one a little over a year ago. I don't use it as often as I'd like though. I need to download more things, like books and Netflix movies. I haven't had time to play:D I know what you mean about writing out people's feelings. They are other people's feelings so it's hard to get it just right. I know how my story's going to play out but sometimes it's very difficult to write it as beautifully as I see it in my mind, if that makes sense. Oh, MLE means Magical Law Enforcement--so Sybill and Sophia are on their way to see the Aurors. Hopefully, some Muggleborns so they may better understand what Sybill is talking about with her laptop. I don't remember a story about a Slytherin girl who flies to London. I need to get back to reading your other translations. I'm close to finished with some of them and should write you some reviews. Maybe by the end of February I'll be done with a lot of my work writing. I will close for now and send you an e-mail soon. Thanks for the wonderful, long review. Report Review
We surely don't see many stories with our dear Divination mistress, so this one comes as really refreshing! Right now I'm weighing the possibility of writing something based on Ollivander's perspective . . .
I could see poor Sybil as the kind of person to get [nearly] squashed in society. I hope she prevails in her struggles eventually. I think someone "borrowed" her precious laptop because a foreign agent had been saving valuable government files on it . . . Nah, I watched too much 007 films ;)
Hmmm, from the way you wrote it, she'd be one of the people I'd really like to meet one day. I don't mind people who were supposed to be psychic, as long as they don't give me that "Science-is-rubbish-of-course-the-baby's-gender-can-be-predicted-and-if-you-don't-believe-me-you're-an-idiot" attitude (you see, Nicholas Sparks's "At First Sight" is one of these books I wish I could've UN-read), then I'm fine.
Funny you should mention the fact about Sybil appreciating the Goth teenagers! And the fact that they seened to have had grooming lessons from HIM, lol If anyone asked me what Severus Snape's daughter looked like, the only image that pops up in my mind would be that of a dark-haired 13-year-old girl dressed in full Mrs. Lovett regalia. (Her dad MIGHT have some issues with her wearing too . . . uh, revealing clothes . . . cough cough) If you haven't seen "Sweeney Todd--The Demon Barbor of Fleet Street" yet, do it soon, (I guess that it's quite available in DVD shops) you'd be amazed how Tim Burton (I totally adore him) always seems to be able to cast the perfect actors for those roles. You just CAN'T miss the duet between Todd and Judge Turpin, I mean, how often do you ever get to see Alan Rickman SING? And about how his character appreciated women?
Yeah, many thanks to Ms. K indeed, without her help my renditions would be much less readable . . .Author's Response: I must apologize for taking so long to respond to your review. I haven't been well and that new puppy I took on has been a handful. I finally have another chapter of Bella Rosa ready to submit and now I'll work on another chapter for this story. I think a story about Ollivander would be great. I hope you flesh out your story ideas. I think Sybil is an interesting character. I don't think she really believes that she's psychic. She's just trying to go with the flow and get through life. I believe that someone did "borrow" her laptop and I don't know if they'll return it or if they even know what to do with it. We'll see in the next couple of chapters. It's a holiday today in the States. It's Labor Day so there's no school until tomorrow. I love getting days off:D See you next time. Look for a new chapter 14 in the next week. Report Review
This is really funny! I really enjoyed it!Author's Response: Well, thank you so much. I've always found Sybil to be an interesting person. She appears spacey but she can take life as it comes and work with it. I plan for this story to be around three chapters so I hope you check back:D It depends on how many other characters I introduce. Thanks for the review. See you next time. Report Review
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