Thank you for coming back. I almost jumped with joy when I saw that a chapter for this story was posted.
And it was a good chapter. Albus seems so adorable. Especially in the end, he seemed like a little puppy who's been kicked in the face (not that I know what a puppy who's been kicked in the face looks like).
Please do keep going with this story, you're doing a really good job :)
An imaginary cupcake for you for coming back!! Report Review
Considering that you haven't written this in quite a while, I thought this was a fantastic chapter. We're getting to see the characters develop more and we're really getting into the plot now.
My favorite line from this chapter was, "Why did I have to find a nemesis that was practically impossible to argue with?" Ha ha!
Al is a great character. I can't figure out his motivations yet, but that's a good thing. Jasmine is also a good, strong female character and she's always very funny. I hope you find motivation for this story and that you continue writing! :)Author's Response: ALLISON!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much! You always leave me fantastic reviews and always encourage me to write more. After a long and intense break I'm hoping to get back on here and finish this for you guys :) You all have been so wonderful and I can't thank you enough for the support! It's also nice to know that the story didn't lose too much after such an extended time. Glad you're still enjoying it and hopefully you'll want to read more! Report Review
I actually found this chapter quite well written..Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much! I'm always nervous about how people will respond to my stories, especially after such a long time, so it's nice to know that I'm still doing a halfway decent job :) Thank you for taking the time to write me something though and let me know how I'm doing! Report Review
really funny story so far! lol I bet Jazz will be the person to cause Al to lose his patience.Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I'm glad that you're enjoying it so far! I've got some direction of where I want to go so it will be interesting to see how accurate your prediction is :) thank you for taking the time to write me something and let me know what you think! I always love getting these! Report Review
This was a REALLY GOOD chapter!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm sorry that the thank you took me over a year to respond to...but I am really grateful for your feedback :) I'm trying to get back to writing after a much-needed break and it's always nice to come back to reviews. Report Review
I enjoy the story, including this chapter. I liked the fact that Al seemed to get annoyed with the fact that she got distracted by Dan. Depsite what Jazz thinks, I don't think it was her getting distracted that made him frustrated. Rather, I think he may have been jealous. I like the plot and am looking forward to seeing where you're going with this, so keep it up.Author's Response: Today is my day of writing really, really late reviews. So, I am so sorry but thank you so much for the support! It really means a lot to me and this will hopefully give me the power to continue writing! Thank you again! Report Review
Hello there! I just wanted to drop you a note of encouragement. I really enjoyed this story, and I hope that you will continue it. I would love to see where you intend to take these characters! :)Author's Response: Allison, I am so sorry that I am SUPER late responding to you. I took a long break since I wasn't quite sure about writing, especially this story. I still feel that this one is pretty weak and disjointed. However, I had a lot of ideas and may try to incorporate them into other places and new stories. Thank you for being such a fantastic reviewer. Your encouragement is everything and I can't apologize enough for not getting back to you! Report Review
Ha ha, Al is just too cute! And hooray for more Al/Jasmine interaction. I like how you've had Jasmine note that Al is acting differently than usual because from a reader's standpoint we don't know how Al normally acts. Then again, we're relying on her rather biased point of view to show us the facts. Is Cora's view of Al more consistent with how he acted in this chapter? That could explain her belief that Al and Jasmine should date.
Silly Jasmine. The entire time she''s with Al he's polite and kind and helpful, and she just thinks he's boring and unemotional. She's being rather unfair to the poor guy (doesn't she know politeness is a lovely trait?), but I guess she just doesn't understand him yet. :)
I can't decide if I think Al sincerely wants to be friends or if he has ulterior motives and no one can tell because he's so polite and unassuming... It will be interesting to see how being friends pans out for the two of them considering they've already blown up a cauldron! I liked the part about Jasmine having ruined five of Al's cauldrons before and him being embarrassed to ask for yet another one! Funny stuff!
I noticed just a couple of small typing errors. At one point, Al says, “We should probably go not.” And then he later says "even my parents are not on board." I'm pretty sure the extra "not" was intended to be there considering Harry and Ginny are on board! :) Very nice chapter as usual!Author's Response: Your reviews are always so helpful and I can't thank you enough for that!
I was more excited with this chapter due to the interaction between Al and Jasmine. Hopefully Al's character will become more clear with later chapters. I wanted to keep his feelings/intentions a mystery seeing as how is is more difficult to understand/read.
And Jasmine is definitely a little biased and doesn't see the good in Al yet (although he's not perfect either). It seems like you're liking Al so far which makes me really happy :D I'm a big fan of him myself.
Hopefully you'll be pleased with how the realationship turns out. I know where I want to take it, it's just a matter of writing!
And thank you for noticing the errors! You were correct! Sometimes my computer doesn't like me (or maybe it's just my inability to effectively use technology...). I'll be sure to go back and fix that and be extra careful for the next chapter so that it's easier to read! The last thing I want is for you guys to have to filter through poor grammar/spelling/typing stuff.
Thank you as always for the review. It means a lot and you really make me think about my writing which is always a good thing :) Thank you again for the support; it is really appreciated! Report Review
haha :D Nice explosion! I think this story is absolutely amazing. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and the story in general :) And really thank you for taking the time to review. It means a lot to know I'm not doing too horribly a job at writing. Thank you again for the support! Report Review
Please write. SERIOUSLY! Do you want me to hex you because if you don't write I WILL. Crucio! HA now you have to write!Author's Response: Hahaha...I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far :)
It's always a big compliment and accomplishment when people tell you to continue to write so thank you! The next installment should actually be out soon so hopefully you'll enjoy that one just as much.
Thank you for taking the time to read/review! It really means a lot and definitely increases the amount of time I spend writing! Thank you again! Report Review
For some reason I was not expecting you to make Al serious and mature and "boring." I guess it's because there are a lot of stories out there in which Al is a womanizing jerk and I just assumed by the way that Jasmine talked about him there there was something else that was keeping her from liking him. But I'm glad that you've chosen to go the serious and mature route for Al. In this chapter, I was better able to see why their friends would think that they would make a good couple. I'm into the serious mature type, so I love Al already! Such a polite gentleman. :) I suppose it's because we're seeing the story though Jasmine's eyes, but after reading the progloue I assumed that Al felt the same way that Jasmine does about people trying to set them up, but after reading this chapter, I'm not so sure. I hope that not only does Jasmine help Al to come out of his shell a bit but that he'll help mellow her out a bit. But I'll just have to wait and see, I guess, considering it's your story! I'm very interested to see how their relationship progresses. I thought you did just fine with this chapter - nothing to be disappointed in at all! Happy writing!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that I was able to surprise you with Al's personality and that you actually enjoyed it! I love Al stories because I think he's the most interesting of the Potter children; there are a lot of different ways you could go with his personality.
And I'm glad that the story is becoming a little more clear for readers. I know my prologue was vague and I didn't really give anything away so hopefully the whole story will continue to progress and have direction. Thank you for making me stop, take a breath, and explain myself :) Your first review made me work out quite a few kinks.
Al is definitely more polite than Jasmine and definitely more hard to read. Eventually we'll get to hear/see more from Al.
Thank you for your kind words and lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and hope you'll enjoy the next chapters just as much. It really means a lot so thank you! Report Review
Keep Writing! It's so good! I love it!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! It honestly means so much to know that you like the story and would like to actually continue to read it :) The reviews are definitely encouragement and motivation as a writer. Thank you again for taking the time to read; I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Report Review
This story's great so far! Update soon, please! (:Author's Response: I really appreciate you taking the time to read/review! It honestly means so much to know that people are enjoying this! Thank you for the feedback - it most certainly helps with my confidence to keep posting chapters :) Thanks again! Report Review
I like this story so far! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It's nice to get feedback on how I'm doing :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far; it makes writing worth it! Report Review
Cute title, and I think you have a very interesting start here. I guess my only question is why everyone thinks she and Al would go so well together? Maybe this will be addressed later, it just seems strange that people would harp on that for six years when neither she nor Al are remotely interested. Also, you stated that she and Al were a total disaster together, but never said why except for their difference in preferences. That's not really a reason not to like a person. My best friend loves country music and her fiance hates it, but that doesn't mean that they don't work well as a couple.
Some examples of their interactions that didn't go so well would be something good to include in the next chapter - you have Cora say something about how Al and the main character would be good together, and thens she could have a reply that includes an example of why they wouldn't.
But I do think you have a nice start with this prologue. You've set the stage for the plot nicely, and introduced the main characters just enough so that I'm curious. Though I'm curious - what is the main character's name? I'm looking forward to reading more of this story! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It's nice to have some criticism as well as encouragement.
I know I haven't explained everything fully; this was pretty much just a tester to see how the story would do. Hopefully their entire relationship will seem more complete in later chapters. However, I see your point so maybe I can try to explain better now :)
The main character (who's name will be revealed eventually) and Al just can't seem to find any common ground due to not only different preferences, but personalities. I built it off of a relationship I have with a friend. Sometimes we wonder how the two of us can get along while having completely separate values and even disagreeing with how the other handles situations. Half the time we're fighting.
But as you said, just because of differences that doesn't mean that people can't come together. Although Al and my character can't see that they balance each other out, Cora and everyone else can see that they would get along if they put in the effort.
Also being constantly thrown together doesn't help strengthen their relationship...
I like your idea of weaving interactions throughout conversations so you all can understand what exactly is going on in my head.
Thank you so much and sorry for the terribly long review (it might be longer than the actual story...). It means a lot and I hope I cleared up some problems instead of creating more questions. Glad you enjoyed and thanks again!
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