Reading Reviews for Crumpled
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Maybe Crumpled

18th July 2012:
Yes, that's exactly the kind of man James was :') You wrote him so well, showing his arrogant side as well as his loving side. All of the flashbacks were great, I especially liked Lily jumping on him and kissing him. It mirrors what happened with Harry and Ginny's first kiss and I love that. I liked the addition of Peter to the scene as well, and James' surprise, the way you described him as a trusting man. And the ending scene, I thought was a brilliant way to end the piece, showing us a new life before the ending of James'. A heartbreaking piece.

-Maybe

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! James is such a complex character, so exploring him in just a one-shot was difficult, but I'm happy to hear I wrote him well :)

Thank you so much!
Del<3


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Review #2, by Woodrow Rynne Crumpled

9th August 2011:
Hey there!

So sorry for the super-duper late review, but life has been an unbelievable mess...Okay, I'll cut short my whining now.

Onto the review! I likey! A lot! You asked whether it was believable, and well yes, it was. I loved your characterisation of James- the still careless, yet brave and noble. I loved the little flashbacks too- they really added to the moment, and made it all the more real.

The Only CC part- well, here's a line I found- "You're little friend here works for me. "
It should be 'your' instead. That was it for the grammar.
The fight and everything wasn't canon, so that bit really didn't work for me, because well, I'm a canon Nazi sometimes. So, it's a personal thing, really.

But apart from that, it was very well written. I loved the last line. :)

Author's Response: Ahh, I'll go fix that little mistake right now! Thanks for pointing it out.

I'm very glad that you liked it! Thank you so much for the review :)


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Review #3, by ravenclaw_princess Crumpled

4th August 2011:
Hello, ravenclaw_princess here for your requested review.

This story was so poignant and beautifully summed up in the last line. It definitely left me with a tear in my eye. The moment was perfect for James and you really captured all of his emotions as he was facing death, but also the pride in the man he had grown to be. He was beautifully characterised and you could feel his love for Lily and pride in his family.

I loved the little memories woven in and out of the story. The were like little snapshots of his happiest moments, all involving Lily and Harry. It felt like his life flashing before his eyes. The flowed in nicely with the story as a whole and they added another level of detail.

The part where he saw wormtail was bitter sweet. It was like James could see that it was his inherent trust in his friends that had ultimately seen his downfall. But at least James could die, knowing that he had never betrayed someones trust or friendship like wormtail had.

This is a really nice piece of writing. I really enjoyed it. Well done :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad that the memories worked with the flow of the story :)

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Review #4, by Star_Kid_Love Crumpled

1st August 2011:
Firsty let me get some tissues!!! You've made me cry, which I don't do often when reading fanfics so I know right now that here you have a very good, solid, pretty darn awesome story!

Your characterisation of James was brilliant, and much like the James I had imagines though all seven HP books and before!

I loved the individual scences within this peice, like James' life was flashing infront of his eyes - but only the best bits with Lily and Harry! It was really powerful! And it only strengthened your character in James.

This was incredibly believeable, and the emotion from James saying a final goodbye to Lily and Harry, to his sheer desparation of wanting to save them completed it.

The final line was brilliant - so perfect and delicate, and it left me happy in a sense that James died knowing well and truly who he was, but sadness that he'd died :(

Overall, this story was brilliant. One of the best, most emotional one-shots I've read! Adding it to my favourites right now!

Starkidlovexx

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, you are so sweet! Thank you so much :)

I'm glad I got James's character and it was believable. Thank you, again, for the lovely review!


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Review #5, by Aero Crumpled

31st July 2011:
Hello, it's Aero from the forums. I have to say that I'm incredibly impressed with the piece. Your depictation of James was nice and very believable. I got a bit teary eyed at the end.. Anyway, I didn't see any blatant spelling and grammar mistakes and the flow of the story was very smooth. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear that you thought James was believable :)

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Review #6, by peace2lovepotter Crumpled

30th July 2011:
Hi! I'm here for my review! Well, if I had to describe it in one word it would be this: stunning. I absolutley loved this, to feel the pain of James, he had only been married to Lily for two years had had his son for one, but then he had to lose it all to a dark evil wizard. I loved how you used the quotes from experiences of James and Lily, and how James was thinking about them when Voldemort came. This was written for a challenge, and I really wish you luck, because this really deserves to win, it had me in tears. Please respond to this review! Love Livvy aka peace2lovepotter xxx :) 10/10

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!

Their story is just so tragic, I'm glad I managed to capture that :)


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Review #7, by TheGoldenKneazle Crumpled

30th July 2011:
Hi there! I absolutely LOVED this piece. The intertwined memories and action gave James an almost peaceful demeanour, and it was amazing to see all his memories together, overlapping one another. All his memories of Lily were so tender, and the way you wrote their love, it made me feel like I was intruding on something special (in a good way!). James's shock at finding Peter with Voldemort was horribly cutting, and it really reached inside of me... I love how James's last thoughts were of Lily and Harry too, and his last words were just fantastic. Oh, the "you won't win this" and then the last line, it gave me the shivers. It was amazing.
I'll be announcing the winners later on in a blog :) Great job!
~TGK

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #8, by nitenel Crumpled

28th July 2011:
This was great! I liked the parts you added. They were good ideas!

8/10

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #9, by BrightStar Crumpled

28th July 2011:
Hi! BrightStar here with your review!

This wasn't the first on my to do list, but I knew by the summary I had to read it straight away.

Coherence: Excellent flow, the memories made the story better, and didnt disrupt the flow. Nothing disruptive spelling or grammar wise!

Characterisation: Excellent. I'll write more in a minute, I actually think i might well up when i do :(

Context: Obviously excellent - lily/james is a WARTIME romance, afterall. their whole relationship was marked by voldemort!

Credibility: So, so believable. This is exactly how i imagined it - everything.

James was so well done. I was holding it together, going to write a positive yet removed, helpful review.. until this:

"As James crumpled to the floor, he knew without a doubt what kind of man he was."

THis is something MY james would say, the one ive been in love with since age 11. So brave, so lovely.

I actually cant write any more, my eyes are so watery. That was so well done. I'm going ahead and dropping the l-bomb: loved itx

Author's Response: Aww, I don't know what to say! I'm torn between being sad that I made you cry and ecstatic that I did. I'm so flattered that this evoked an emotional response from you.

I got much the same reaction to that last line from myself when writing. I knew when I thought of it that that was my story, that one line.

Thank you so very much! I can't express how much your review means to me.


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Review #10, by academica Crumpled

26th July 2011:
Hey there! academica here with your review :)

This was a great little piece. I'm more of a Sev/Lily fan but I was really pulling for James here. I thought the little moments from the past that you included were very sweet, and you tied them in well with the present happenings. The flow moved along quite nicely, and the inclusion of Peter was a very nice touch.

I think your characterization of James was spot-on. He was obviously very concerned for his wife and child upon his death, at least from what we know of him from canon, and much less concerned about his own demise. This moment is a great example of that Gryffindor bravery coming alive.

All in all, I was very impressed. If you don't mind, I'm going to look into Story Recommendations and post this under an appropriate category so others can check it out. Also, I ran across a "Last Moments" Challenge on the forum yesterday that I think this would be perfect for, if you can combine challenges (I believe you can choose your character for that one). Your writing flowed nicely, and I didn't notice any obvious mistakes with regard to grammar, punctuation or spelling. Very well done, and thanks for requesting a review! I hope my comments are helpful!

academica

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad his memories of Lily didn't feel out of place, that makes me happy to hear.

James is Gryffindor through and through, that's how I've always seen him, and I'm glad that showed here. He's a father and husband before himself, and I wanted to capture that.

I'm very flattered, thank you so much! I'll look into the challenge.

Thank you so much for the review, you've made my day!


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