Not half bad. I actually liked it. Do you think you could add some Harry/Draco fluff?Author's Response: Fluff isn't exactly where the story is headed, but I am going to get Harry a bit more involved later on.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hey again :)
Excellent chapter! I love how you delved a little bit into Draco's relationship with his professors in this one. I've always found the teachers to be some of Hogwarts' most interesting inhabitants anyway, so I love when parts of a story are devoted to them :) Anyway, whoa, where did Filch come from? That was great, a really excellent look into his character. And I found Snape's single-mindedness very entertaining. Poor Draco just can't catch a break.
I did notice a spelling error in the beginning of the second half. Snape was substituting again, not "substatuting". Don't worry, I find myself typing out rather creative spellings sometimes when I'm not paying full attention to my writing :) I see a couple others in there now that I look back at it, so just don't forget to proofread for those things again next time.
The cat thing with McGonagall was really amusing. You write Draco's interactions well; I can almost see him performing them, like in a stage play. I loved the ending as well; I sense McGonagall will be having some words with someone about Snape's antagonistic attitude toward Lupin. Poor Draco just keeps getting himself into trouble with his nosiness! :)
Great job! Still loving the story :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Right. Ever since I lost Microsoft Word, it's been hard remembering to double check spelling. It's never been my strong suit, as you can tell :) Thanks, as always, for mentioning.
I've always liked putting mischievous things into a more formal situation, such as student to professor, and since I was going that way anyway, I couldn't resist having the to-the-letter Slytherin take a visit with McGonagall.
Thanks for your input! I hope you read on! Report Review
Hey again :)
Can I just say that I loved how Draco used the number of Dark Arts teachers come and gone to calculate time/age here? That was quite humorous, as was Crabbe's insinuation that Lucius would be giving Hagrid a personal tour of Azkaban. That line served the dual function of demonstrating Draco's disdainful treatment of Crabbe and Goyle and also creating a rather funny picture in my head. Nicely done.
I also really enjoyed Draco's interaction with the Gryffindors. It's a good thing Lupin's got his eye on the kid, because he's got a propensity for trouble. I'm interested to see what will happen with Lupin if Draco continues on his warpath. His glimpse of Hermione's work with the time turner was also an interesting moment to include. Gee, what will he do when Sirius Black makes his presence known at Hogwarts?
Can you tell I'm excited for you to continue this one? :)
academica (Slytherin)Author's Response: You're Slytherin too, eh?
Well I'm really glad you're liking the twists and turns I'm setting the story up for. As always, it's great to hear from you, Academica.
Being my first public writing, I've been extremely nervous, be it what to have this particular story include, or how exactly to word a petty insult. Nerves of steal have never been mine, and it's responses like yours that pull me together. :) Report Review
Hey there! Another great chapter. You continue to characterize Draco perfectly, particularly when it comes to his condescending attitude toward his friends and allies. His treatment of his father made me chuckle ("with all the love deserved" ... perfect).
One thing I did notice is that the scene changed really abruptly from Herbology to Draco's letter. Perhaps you meant to include a page break or line there and just forgot to put it in, but I had to read it over a couple of times before I figured out that the scene had changed.
Anyway, the end of the chapter was probably my favorite part. Draco clearly feels very clueless and left out of the loop, and it hurts him. It will be interesting to see him discover the full extent of the connection between his father (and Professor Snape) and the Dark wizards out there. By the way, I totally love how you keep making references to the father figure-like relationship between Draco and Snape. It was one of my favorite things about the canon series.
Great job! Can't wait for the next update! :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Hi again! Sorry for the wait! Anyway, thank you so much for sticking with this story so far. It's been great having input and getting someone to notice those little things that I can miss even if I read over it a million times (the break line! Of course! I'm getting it edited right away!)
It's so reassuring to get the readers point of view on a story, and the things you choose to point out in your reviews really help me like what I've wrote more. This chapter may have been a little on the weaker side, but I promise chapter 4 will make up for it!
Also...I've always loved the Draco-Snape bonding, too :) Report Review
Wow, this was a fantastic chapter! I am truly impressed!!
Firstly, I should tell you that I'm a huge Draco fan. I just feel so much sympathy for him in his latter years at Hogwarts and beyond. When the hippogriff scene comes on during PoA, I usually just laugh at how melodramatic he's being. I mean, the director makes it a short, simplistic moment of humor. But here, I actually felt tangible anger toward him when he was being so cruel to poor Hagrid, and again with Neville. Then, I pitied him when he was confronted with his father's disappointment and his confusion about the Longbottoms. I just went through a whole gamut of emotions here, and to me, that's one sign of a good story.
I think you've done a great job of sticking to character -- the petty insults, the witty banter, the blatant cruelty and prejudice are all pure Malfoy. That's not to say your characterization of the others in this chapter wasn't spot-on; it definitely was, but Draco's in particular really wow-ed me.
Great work! I'm so looking forward to chapter three :)Author's Response: I've never been so flattered!
Your reviews are such a treasure to me - it's uplifting to have such an analytical reader give me their opinion, as I like to think of myself as an analytical writer. You certainly have put pressure on me not to ruin chapter 3, and I hope I don't disappoint! Report Review
That was funny :) Hope you write more!Author's Response: Thanks :) I hope you read more! Report Review
this is an interesting idea. i like to see things from draco's point of view, and i think you did handle him quite well. my only thing is i wish we got just a little more background, a little more of an introduction. i felt like i just kind of walked in on something by accident. like i tapped draco's phone and showed up to a party that i wasn't actually invited to. but other than that, i wouldn't mind seeing where this goes. :)Author's Response: Good observation - I'm glad you mentioned it. Currently I'm working on future portions, but I will definitely look into editing that. Thanks for reading it and for the advise! Report Review
promises to be interesting.:DAuthor's Response: I look forward to having it fulfill that promise :) Report Review
Interesting take on the Hippogriff incident. I look forward to reading more! :)Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter's aftermath of it is a bit of a different approach as well. I hope I get to have your input there, as well! Report Review
Fantastic- Absolutely fantastic...:) I am in love with Draco Malfoy, I've had a crush on him since i was four...So i love this.Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! I hope you'll read on as I add - I'd love to know how a true fan of his thinks I'm doing with him. Report Review
I liked this(: Draco was very in character and I liked seeing his inner-workings. I look forward to reading more!!Author's Response: Well, I'll be submitting more every week, so I hope you check in on me! I'd adore it if you'd read more! Report Review
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