10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by NerdyTeddy Hogwarts

13th October 2012:
First of all, this is really good.
But you need to do some major editing. Though there are no spelling mistakes (that I've noticed) you tend to write longer sentences that don't make sense.
Also, the gaps between each paragraph are huge. The story is about 1/4 of the sidebar length, but you add heaps by unnecessary spacing. This annoys the Hades out of me.
Overall, however, the plot is interesting and the characters memorable. Has Aurora spoken to the boys since first year? I recall you saying that she was a social recluse...
It's good enough to make me read each new chapter, but edit so that you don't just ramble on about insignificant nonsense (an example of this would be in the first chapter when you explained the appearance of angels and gods. Too much detail, didn't really make sense).
Uploooad!
Byeee

Author's Response: Oh god I looked at the gaps in the paragraphs, that is horrible I am so sorry. I was writing in a different program and I copied it here and never checked to be sure it was in a proper format. I'm sorry about the hassle. I did a rough edit of the first chapter and I do see what you were talking about, sorry I was very young and this is the first story I've written. Thank you for the feedback, I hope I have made positive changes.

 Report Review

Review #2, by naflower05 Hogwarts

2nd September 2012:
interesting chapter. moving a little fast, but still good. update again soon please! =]

 Report Review

Review #3, by naflower05 Am I Cinderella?

21st July 2012:
good chapter! but sad! I wonder if shes actually going to go to hogwarts or not. update again soon please! =]

 Report Review

Review #4, by naflower05 The begining of pain

12th May 2012:
great chapter! But how could you just leave it there! I can't wait to see what happens next, update again soon please!! =]

 Report Review

Review #5, by NadineS Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

9th April 2012:
I've read the first chapter a few times already and I must say that I cannot wait for you to publish the next one!
I love how brave she is and it's heart-breaking how she refuses to show her emotions when told to leave her home..
All in all, you have a great story waiting to happen and should continue as soon as possible! :)

Author's Response: Aww your so sweet, I'm waiting for validation on my next chapter and in the process of the third chapter, so I hope you check it out!

 Report Review

Review #6, by naflower05 Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

30th December 2011:
AMAZING STORY!!! Holy crap! This is so good so far, you have to update again really soon!! 10/10!! =]

Author's Response: Thanks so much, I can't wait for you to read more :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by Northern lights. Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

9th August 2011:
I LOVE THE STORYYY update soon!

 Report Review

Review #8, by he_could_be_the_1 Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

16th July 2011:
I CAN'T wait to read more...
Seriously.
LOVE IT
xxx

Author's Response: Thanks so much, this is my first story and I love feed back, if you have any critisism or advice please let me know. New chapter will be up soon I hope! Thanks for the review! :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Crescent Moon  Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

15th July 2011:
Really good chapter. The only thing I found a bit weird was that they were treating her (at only 6) like she was an adult. But really good apart from that.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen in the next chatper, is she going to go to Hogwarts?? Are we going to meet the guy that's meant to protect her??
Please update as soon as you can XD

Author's Response: Thanks, and I know it seems wierd to treat her like an adult, but in my eyes she was never a child. In the story she was always an unusual kid, the only one of her kind, and yet she had the charictaristics of an adult. What I wanted to get across was that she is not just your ordinary child, she is brilliant, beautiful, and uniquely fearless. Thank you for your review, and in the story I will try to make her seem less adult, in the end you will see Aurora transform from an adult like child into a child like adult. This is my first story, so thanks for the help :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by Hera Prologue- Bad Start in Hell

15th July 2011:
Hi!

It seems that this is going to be an interesting story - I'll definitely follow this story :)
You've written the details quite clearly and it was interesting to read the long descriptions, however, I would suggest putting more action and dueling in the action parts. For example, I found it weird that Harold couldn't just apparate away with Aurora or that he was running away and Nathaniel was just chasing him without throwing any spells at him.. After all their wizards, i believe, there should be more wizardry stuff, don't you think? ;)

But all in all, great work, keep it up! ;)

Author's Response: I definately agree, I was very disappointed in myself when I went back and read this, it was like I left out everything that was me, I love action and adventure, and that is what Harry potter is about. This is my first story, so I'll be sure to add the action that we both crave! I'm so excited, and I promise not to let you down! Thanks for the review :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login