Brief but so good Emma. I love how you actually make her calculate how much time she has left, so realistic. If I was being chased by death eaters I might be the same thinking about time.
Anyways, loved it, amazing for 500 words to be honest. 9/10.Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love reviews, they make my day!! Report Review
Hey! So I'm one of your secret santas :D
Sorry it's taken me so long to get to these! I've decided that seeing as you have such a range of stories, I'm going to review five of your one shots, if that's okay with you ^^
I really like this piece! Even though it is short, it really did send shivers down my spine and I was really scared for Kalista.
Some CC here; at the end, instead of saying "I was dead." maybe you could say something more descriptive? But that's just my opinion, and "I am dead," does just get the point across I suppose ^^
When I found out that Kalista had joined the Order to save someone, I thought that was really cute. I think that it was a nice touch having Bellatrix kill her, as your characterisation of her was lovely.
Also the line "we will win eventually" was amazing, and it really evoked some sadness in me, because it showed how much people had to sacrifice at that time :(
really good! Really emotional, even through it's brevity.
Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays! XxxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review SS :). I love it! I'm so glad you like my story, I wasn't too sure myself :). Merry Christmas to you too x Report Review
WOW that was so powerful, and so.wow, just wow i love your stories so much.Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! I'm so flattered as well :) Report Review
I think this is a very touching oneshot. You describe the finality and the desperation of her situation really well. I like how she's under no doubt that she's going to die, and it makes me feel really curious about what's going on and why.
Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much xx Report Review
I loved the tension and feeling of so little time left that you feel while reading it, like death is just behind your shoulder. The ending was quite abrupt, but what can expect from Bellatrix, and from a word limited story.
The only thing is I can remember Dumbledore saying that "Bellatrix liked playing with her food", so I would have imagined a few Crucio's being cast before the final spell, but I can understand considering the word limit. I'd love to see you expand it into it's own short story or novella though, to see what happened before this scene.Author's Response: Thanks for the amazing review, it made my day!
I'm glad you liked it, I spent ages on this, and then edited it again to make it perfect. I see the thing about Bellatrix, I know youre right and that she would play with her food but it was word limited so I couldnt get everything I wanted to in here.
Myabe I could expand it when I have more time, thanks for the suggestion,
Emma xx Report Review
Wow, your writing is really, really good! You have so much awesome description in there, and so much detail. I actually liked the length, it sort of leaves you a bit confused (in a good way). I especially loved the part at the end where she's just dead - like, BAM - it just happens so suddenly and I think it was a great one-shot. Nice job ;D I'd love to read more from you!
Also, if you ever have some spare time, could you R&R my fanfic "Darkest Night"? I would really, really appreciate it! Thank youuu!
Keep writing! This was great ~ flufff
9/10Author's Response: Aw, thanks for the comments. I do love reviews, if I wasnt so greedy I would give up food and eat them instead! Back to the point, I will check out your fic now,
Emma xx Report Review
I was hooked as soon as I read the first line, as well as the first paragraph, wondering who they were running away from and why exactly they were.
Even though you didn't give much detail it kept me captivated and I really want to know exactly why she was running, and why she had the honour of Voldemort chasing her down, not many have that. I liked this, Are you planning on continuing it at all?
alicia and anne
SlytherinAuthor's Response: Thanks for the fabby review, I do love them!
So, the point is she was running because she got caught doing something for the order. And as for Voldemort, I should be saying "Because I'm so stupid I put that in when it was so unrealistic and shouldnt of happened". Instead I am going to lie and say "she was one of the best aurours" (which isnt true) :P.
Thanks again for the amazing review,
Emma xoxo Report Review
This was really good!
It can be hard to express emotion in a 500 word story, but I think you did a good job with that. I could definitely sense her fear, and her courage, throughout the story. You did a great job of adding description with such a tight word limit.
One thing I did find unrealistic was Voldemort himself killing the girl. I think he'd dispatch his Death Eaters to do it instead. But other than that, a great story!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Thanks for the great review, I do love them! Especialy compliments, though any review makes my day!
I know that Voldemort himself killing her is unrealistic, I wrote it and then realised once I submited it for the competition and it would be so much hasstle to change it.
Emma xxx Report Review
Wow... that was strong description in there. Although I did like the story, I couldn't understand who the woman was. Sure, she was a witch. But why would Voldemort follow an usual witch? From her statement of "We will win eventually win" I guessed she may be from the Order of Phoenix. Is she? Anyways, the idea was interesting, same as the action, the rush. There was much action in just 500 words. Very good, indeed!
GryffindorAuthor's Response: Heya, sorry for the late response, I've been on Holiday with no internet connection!
Anyways, thanks for the wonderful review! Yeah, she was from the order, doing a task but got caught, that sort of thing.
Emma xx Report Review
I think it was good in length, I don't normally read one-shots but I liked this one.
The length I think is acually rather good, it was a one-shot that doesn't take much time to read and it was enough to have a story still.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! This is actually my first one shot so thanks for the great comments! Report Review
erm... it was short.Author's Response: I know. Whats the point of a '500 words only' competition otherwise? lol xx Report Review
Very interesting. I think it could be a bit longer. Who was she trying to save? Why was she running (aside from the obvious)?
I like your writing style. It captures the action and anticipation of Death comming to call.
I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
Good luck.Author's Response: Thank you. It was a 500 word challenge (no more, no less). Well, it wasnt a specific person, she was just saying that someone else offered to do the task but they were young and she realised that they were most likely to die. The whole plot was mainly her running from Voldemort because she was caught doing something for the Order. If it helps it was set when Voldemort was in power the first time (not when Wormtail brought him back to life). Sorry if it was a little confusing, I only had exactly 500 words to write.
Thanks for the wonderful review and compliments,Manga girl Report Review
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