Reading Reviews for all this will ruin us
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lisbeth and love too

7th October 2012:
Truly, you are the only reason I begun an account on this site. After reading this story, I simply needed to tell you. Tell you how much it touched me -like no other story has touchedme, has made me feel- how really it seemed and how it all made sense.
I will say this to you and hope you will not judge me; I do not like Rowling. I love the series and I love the characters but not her. Not the way she writes, not anything.I find her too simple, with too many plot holes, with not nearly enough characterization and explanation of those who have wronged. One simply does not wake up one day and decide to become evil, to kill and betray and fool.
But the way you write, the emotion you betray; I wish she had your talent. And I wish you do not hide your talent and you use it and touch many other people like me, even if I may never read your words again.

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Review #2, by No_oneKnows and love too

7th August 2012:
This was truly amazing. I've always felt that there is so much more to Peter, especially around the time of the First War, and this - I think - portrayed him perfectly. I love it. There were far too many quotes in there that left a strong impact on me for me to copy and paste,so I guess I'm just trying to say that this one-shot is truly, truly, amazing.

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Review #3, by shoveitsunshine and love too

20th April 2012:
This was brilliant! I adored your take on Peter, and his little mantra of "I will not die" just constantly, I thought was so in character.

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Review #4, by taps_017 and love too

28th November 2011:
wow - this is absolutely phenomenal

i can't even find the words to describe how beautiful this is, well done!

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Review #5, by argetlam shadeslayer and love too

18th August 2011:
I'm dying to leave an absurdly long review, because in my heart of hearts, that's what I honestly want to do, and I feel that's what this story deserves. Gordon Bennett, this story is worthy of so much - I literally can't describe what I'm trying to say here, other than by somehow communicating to you that a) you are the ultimate writing god, and b) you've just breathed life into Peter Pettigrew, perhaps one of the hardest characters to write in this realm. (Most definitely one of the least liked characters.) And imagine my surprise, that by the end of this story - well, if I'm being honest, by the fourth paragraph - I've felt a ragged stirring in my heart for Peter, my eyes have begun stinging with tears, and my heart literally wants to fly out in pieces to him. Because, in the oddest, most unexpected of ways, I now realize Peter really was brave in a way that the others were incapable of feeling - James, with his humor, wit, and Lily; Sirius, with his devil-may-care attitude and prejudices; and Remus, with his hardened solo act and books to hide behind. Peter may not have been strong, but he possessed a will to survive and the eyes to see what was wrong with the world in which he lived. He possessed knowledge, and knew to be afraid. In a way, it's almost like a very tragic Garden of Eden story - Peter has tasted the forbidden fruit, and suddenly his eyes have been opened to the world.

And it's funny - before reading this, I'd never given much thought to Peter. I had tried, but couldn't really conjure up anything for him, save for the typical terms which are associated with him - you know, "cowardly," "traitor," "cheese," etc. But I swear, it's like you've written the whole darn encyclopedia entry on him, as though if I were to look up information about Peter Pettigrew in a library, this is what I'd find. You've captured his character so utterly perfectly and gloriously, and I feel like your story has made him more honorable, in a way. You've brought him to life - I mean, really, this IS Peter Pettigrew. Now that I've read this, he can be no other way. This is him. Period.

Thank you so much for writing one of the most beautiful pieces I've ever read.

- emma

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Review #6, by Roots in Water and love too

29th July 2011:
This is very well written, and it almost makes you sympathize with Peter. Almost.

I'm glad that you showed that Peter still cared about Harry (hoping he woudn't fulfill the conditions of the prophecy) and that Peter wasn't a coward, not really. He just was determined not to die.

You made Peter seem so much more (intelligent? clever? brave?) than most writers write him. The Death Eaters sought him out and he was waiting for them. He just took advantage of his situation. He wasn't scared. Just determined to survive.

As well, the way you showed the effects of the war on the four friends was touching. They all had their ways of coping and you made the ways seem pathetic (but in a way that really makes you understand Peter). Peter truly saw the war in a different light and he decided to take comfort in a very different way than the others.

I could go on, but in short, the writing really suits the piece. It is rambling in some places, short and confusing, exactly like it should be. It expresses the emotions Peter is feeling wonderfully. And the ending it great. That one, final line is so powerful.

An excellent job of bringing Peter to life.

Author's Response: Mmm, thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it.

You've picked up on everything, which is great. I don't have to explain myself, heh. ^_^ Though I do disagree with you- I think Peter was scared: scared of dying. He's like Voldemort in that way; he believes there's nothing scarier - not war, or fighting or even losing - than death.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

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Review #7, by forsakenphoenix and love too

24th July 2011:
This story broke me into tiny little pieces. I am usually so level-headed and I can write decently sized reviews but I just want to cry as my heart breaks when I read this story. I just want to wrap it up and keep it in my pocket, always. I'm sorry that this review isn't long but I don't even know how else to tell you how perfect and gorgeously written this was. Peter's frantic thoughts, how it all just rushes together in that mantra of 'I will not die.' I just loved everything about this. Maybe one day I can write a review worthy of this fic but for now, I hope this is enough.

Author's Response: -hugs- Oh, gosh. I'm sorry and flattered at the same time. This review is more than worthy - thank you so very much!

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Review #8, by kgmonkey21 and love too

23rd July 2011:
i think that you have, somehow, managed to capture the person that is Peter Pettigrew. gosh, i don't even know what to say. it was that good! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much ^_^

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Review #9, by lia_2390 and love too

23rd July 2011:
The moment I started reading this, I just said to myself "Oh my gosh!". It's like your writing just flew off the page and hit me right in my face. This was just fantastic! I could feel every emotion emanating from Peter, every last one.

I know most people don't like Peter but I usually don't mind him so that's alright. Actually, I like minor/underrated characters. I think you took a very interesting perspective with this one, how restless and unsettled he could feel in a world of pretence when in reality everything is falling apart. The fact that he couldn't sit there any longer is quite understandable. He had to do something.

Fear drives people to do some crazy things. I'm glad he admitted here that he was afraid. What made the entire thing real is the questions asked: how could anyone let children fight in a war? It wasn't the place for them. I also noticed the subtle hints of him placing the blame on Sirius, just to set the scene for what was to come later.

I liked seeing this story from Peter's perspective and I don't think this story would've worked any other way.

You did a really good job with this! I enjoyed it.


Author's Response: I love minor characters, as well, especially ones like Peter. He always seems to get the shorter end of the stick. I was trying to get readers to understand and maybe even sympathize with Peter's decision.

I'm happy you liked it! :D Thank you for reviewing.

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Review #10, by Ali4077 and love too

22nd July 2011:
Just to let you know I'm WolfieAli from the forums :) Finally I'm getting round to reviewing all my challenge entries.

I'm honestly not a fan of Peter, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy this story.. as I really did. :D You write so well, I wish I could write as well as that.

I liked this running theme of "I will not die". It does sound very Pettigrew, he's determined not to die. Also as he was explaining how he was no longer a child, but saw everyone else as still being so, it was clever. Something I wouldn't have even considered to write.

The entire piece was very well written and put together, we saw inside Peter's head and it certainly leaves you with something to think about after reading it.

Your final sentence is very powerful too. I like final sentences.. they're the last thing you read and are what really sticks in my head at least. It ties it all up, reminds you whats in control, what's going on. "he makes it" says it all really.

Thank you so much for entering this in my challenge, I really did enjoy reading it and it's left me sitting here in thought. I like stories that make you think. Great job. :)

Author's Response: Ah, hello! ^_^ I really enjoyed your challenge; it was actually the very first piece I've written for HPFF.

Peter's a terribly underrated character. And while I won't deny he's a coward, he still remains one of my favourite and least favourite characters. I just wanted to dig a little deeper and try to understand why he did it. :)

Thank you! Heh, your challenge was a pleasure, really. Thanks again for the review.

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Review #11, by alias093001 and love too

17th July 2011:
To my surprise, you were able to make me sympathize with Peter. And, with as much as I hate him, that is not an easy thing to do.

The mantra of "I will not die" explains so much about his character, why he would choose Voldemort over the friendship he had with James, Sirius, and Remus; he, like Voldemort, was afraid of death.

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad to have gotten that out of you - that's so flattering to me, as a writer. ^_^ I completely agree; Peter was terrified of death, exactly like Voldemort. Though unlike Voldemort, he went about it in a different way. ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #12, by Snapdragons and love too

11th July 2011:
You are a wonderful writer. Really. Please don't stop. This was honestly so wonderfully done! (is this is your first piece? gah, if so, jealous!)

Peter gets ignored a lot. In most fics, he's simply dropped out of the equation all together. But I think he's pretty fascinating, myself. Exploring the reasons for his betrayal is so interesting, and I really like the way you did it here. He's got complexity to him; he's not just a shivering, weak coward, which I appreciate. He feels real.

The style does feel like stream of consciousness, and you've done it really well. Everything flows together smoothly, and I felt as though I was in Peter's mind. Everything felt justified, at least in his mind.

I liked how he talked about how everyone was a child. It was interesting, looking at them from an outside perspective. Peter always did feel like an outsider.

The last line is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Actually, all of this is.

A beautiful, incredible piece. So well done! This is definitely a one-shot that I'll be coming back to reread. Great work!

Author's Response: Why, thank you. ;] This was my first piece, yes, hehe, though I doubt you should be jealous of me- rather the around way, methinks. But I don't plan on stopping anytime soon- I've already got other stories up (SELF ADVERTISING :D) if you're interested.

I agree - it really boggles me as to why Peter is so ignored. Could be just because I'm a newbie to this whole FF business, but he's such a complex character. Personally, he's one of my most and least favourite character out of Harry Potter.

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS ♥ Hehe, quite a few people have already mentioned that in their reviews - is it bad I didn't even know stream of consciousness existed until someone told me about in a review? Teehee. But yes, this was supposed to be in that style and it worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself.

Thank you very much; I hope you continue to enjoy it in all of your re-readings! :)

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Review #13, by Aiedail and love too

7th July 2011:
oh god. i saw you on the promotion applications at TGS and decided i would do a mock-judging because somewhere in the back of my mind i'm completely qualified--and this is just like alsiudfhlaisudghlaisdufh i can't believe how impressed my mock-judge's literary measure is at the moment. i rarely see stories about the marauders that i find interesting, but yours is. and on top of that it's extremely well-written. your style is semi-stream of consciousness to me and it's very appealing especially for the subject matter. i always thought i was too hardened to peter to find a story that could make me see things from his side, but your first line seemed to break down my boundaries and i'm left feeling very hopeful for your promotion :) good luck...but i am not entirely sure you'll need it.

Author's Response: You're like alsiudfhlaisudghlaisdufh ♥ This is a girl who does not know how to take compliments and just flails and goes OH ERM YOU'RE LOVELY AND ALL KINDS OF AWESOME.

So you're lovely and all kinds of awesome. And that's sweet of you to say- guess we'll see, huh? Thank you :D

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Review #14, by SiriuslyPeeved and love too

7th July 2011:
Wow, I am so glad I found this. I have almost never read such a dead-on portrayal of Peter Pettigrew and the forces that led him to his doom. It's beautifully put together and I absolutely love the way you ended it. Bravo.

Author's Response: Thank you so very much! ^_^ I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #15, by WeasleyTwins and love too

4th July 2011:
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested!

Dayana, I don't even know where to start, honest to goodness. I ramble anyway, so here goes nothing. I consider myself an expert in recognizing [and perhaps writing] the ever-changing technique, stream of consciousness. But this, my dear, this was one of the best pieces of stream of consciousness I have ever read. I'm talking in the published world as well as the fanfic realm. Whether you intended to write in SoC or not, this is exactly what it is. Your blatant disregard of correct punctuation and sentence structure is executed brilliantly. While I am amusing this is stream of consciousness, I just feel like it is, you know? The inner monologue of Peter is superb - and I believe that is why you are able to get away with such preposterous sentence structures. I say this, not in a bad sense, but in the sense that you have usurped the traditional ideals of the writing community and created for yourself. You have not let conventions deny you the opportunity of true creativity. You remind me a bit of e.e. cummings, actually. Your title isn't capitalized, you've written however you wish.

All of that nonsense above is how I'm trying to tell you that this is one of the best pieces of fanfiction I've ever read. Not just because it's so stream of consciousness [which I love], but because you've made it all your own. There isn't a soul on this archive or on the forums that has any right to deny the beauty and brilliance of this peace. I don't know where your talents stems from, but I swear that this was written by the hand of God himself, it's just that amazing. Excuse me if that was a bit too forward, I simply have no other way of describing my thoughts to you.

You have inspired ME to write - which, I might add, is very difficult to do because my muse is a rather angst-y thing. When a story inspires another author, it is then that you have done your utmost as a writer. JKR inspires us all, her world is unlike any other. You have done the same. This piece is inspiring, heart wrenching work. The tense and the limited third person POV are absolutely PERFECT. They compliment the mood nicely.

Holy watermelons, there isn't anything else I can tell you, Dayana. This is being added to my favorites. Surely heavenly music should be drifting down from the clouds when anyone reads this.

Author's Response: I really don't know where to start, either - I've just been sitting in front of my computer screen, feeling all mushy and happy and flaily (let's pretend that's a word) and wearing this huge grin on my face. (Even my brother asked why I was so happy. And he's currently in his angsty, broody I-hate-the-world-especially-my-family-so-I'll-try-not-to-talk-to-them-at-all phase.)

I've never heard of stream of consciousness (rather new to writing seriously), but I was trying to go for that. I'm aware some (or you know, most) of the sentence don't make grammatical sense and that the sentence structure is a bit wonky. But when I was writing, it made perfect sense - something that could have actually been running through Peter's head. I suppose that's what stream of consciousness is, isn't it?

You've made me feel so much more confident. I was browsing through the archives, looking at all the writers with so much more experience. There are people who want to be published here; there are people who are already published here. There is so much talent on this site. And here I am, with my only story being an one-shot about Peter. Then come along all the reviews- so encouraging and kind, especially yours.

Your review just made my entire day, Shelby. I'm so happy (and shocked, I must admit) to have inspired you. I really just want to squish you, and send a million hearts your way. I have no idea how to respond to such compliments - I've been preparing myself for CC and maybe even a few flames, but the reviewers on HPFF are amazing.

Thank you. ♥ You've given me confidence and made me happy, and I honestly don't know how to convey that properly. Thank you so, so much. I'll look back at this review when I'm having a bad day, or think my writing is horrible, and feel instantly better. ♥

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Review #16, by jadore_jaune and love too

3rd July 2011:
this was absolutely amazing. Peter is such an undeveloped and underrated character, and I really believe that there is something to be said for him in fanfiction world. kudos for a really good job, great writing, and overall taking on the idea of doing peter a bit more justice as he deserves


Author's Response: Why, thank you, pretty lady. ^_^ What a lovely review!

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Review #17, by cazvalleygirl and love too

3rd July 2011:
A very intriguing one-shot into the mind of the betrayer. I enjoyed every word! And you write wonderfully, well done, 10/10 Charly : D

Author's Response: Aha, well, thank you, hun. ^_^

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Review #18, by honoraryweasley and love too

2nd July 2011:
Here with your requested review! :)

Firstly, that was absolutely breathtaking, and probably the best piece of writing I've read on this site. Yes, like, ever.

Reading this, I found myself thinking that yes, what Wormtail did was sensible, and whole-heartedly believing it, despite what, ten years of thinking he's an absolute traitor. And he is an absolute traitor, but when you write him in this totally unique way you see things differently. I realized that although Sirius and James and Remus would never did what Peter did, if I was in his position I may have acted the same way.

I also enjoyed the writing style immensely, especially the use of italics - not only for emphasis, but for dialogue, in a way. I'd never seen that done before but it worked perfectly, especially since this is a sort of stream-of-conciousness piece. Some of it is so poetic, like "And that is all that growing is fear" (which I've been repeating to myself).

I know that as a reviewer I'm compelled to leave some criticism, too, but I really can't find anything to criticise! No grammar mistakes that I can see, and I usually spot them.. The idea of Peter having a difficult life at home is a tad cliched, but not the way you've written it.. so instead, I think I'll just gush some more about my favourite parts (and trust me, I'm not usually a gusher xD).

I particularly enjoyed the phrase "dreams edged with lace and love", for one thing, and for another, the repetition of 'I will not die'. But most of all, I loved the paragraphs about what the other Marauders were doing. They were so haunting, and so well-written.

I'm going to stop now but really, fantastic job :)


Author's Response: -flails- My (self-described) eloqeunce fails me at a time like this?! AHH. SO MANY LOVELY THINGS ♥ SO. MANY. LOVELY. THINGS.

A million hearts and other awesome things your way~

The best piece of writing you've read on this site?! -squee- AHH. You're so very kind- this is the first piece of my writing I've submitted to HPFF. You're doing wonders for my ego, you know. ;D

Gush on. Gush forever because I'll forever gush about this lovely review and the even lovelier person behind it. AHH. More hearts your way~


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Review #19, by Silver Sunrise and love too

2nd July 2011:
Oh god, this is astounding. I hate that no one appreciates Peter, even if he is a supposedly weak turn-coat. You've portrayed him as something more than just what he was in the books, as a human being with real reasoning. I love this so much. Peter is outright stereotyped as someone spineless, but I think you brought bravery to his cowardly betrayal in this piece. 10/10, I am sad I cannot rate you anything higher, as you thoroughly deserve that.

Author's Response: YOU'RE astounding, my dear! ♥ Thank you very much- you've captured the whole point of this and that's all I can ask for. And you showered me with a few compliments along the way. ;) Always a good thing, hehe.


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Review #20, by academica and love too

1st July 2011:
Amazing story! Your characterization of the Marauders, especially Peter, is refreshing, and you have an excellent way with words, i.e. 'tears tracking like heartbreak'. Very well done!

Author's Response: You're sweet. :3 Thank you for leaving a review; I appreciate it!

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Review #21, by CoLorful DreaM and love too

1st July 2011:
Hey, thelandbef... Hey, Dayana! (the shorter, the better, haha)

Are you sure this is your first fanfiction... like really first.? You know... that means you never posted before... like never posting a story before? Fine, I'll stop that... :)

Hm, hm *taking serious position*. If it wasn't already obvious, I really enjoyed the story. Most of stories of Peter's reasoning towards the betrayal (and all of the parts of his in the books) showed him as doing that because he was a coward or because he was envy of his friends and just couldn't stand it no more to be the non-talented, non-handsome, non-smart one. You managed to describe his fear and disapproval towards his friends' behaviour in a pretty unique way.
I really loved the writing style either. I always appreciated a writer who doesn't put much accent on the dialogue, but the feelings changing and growing inside the character. The statement 'I will not die.' repeated once and again was well placed, emphasizing Peter's reasoning. You made him look stronger than he seemed, just by the fact he wouldn't give up, which makes me think of him in a quite different light.
Great start! Can't wait to read more of yours! (Soon enough, hopefully. ;) )


Author's Response: Ramona! Thanks for dropping by. :]

I'm quite sure, hehe. Though I've taken a look at your stories and I was like O.o zomg, I can't write so many stories at once! ^_^

Thank you muchly! Ah, really? That's very interesting, actually; I've never thought of it that way. I guess I'll have to look up some stories about Peter. ;)

Thank you again, lovely- you're very kind! Hopefully, I'll manage to read something of yours soon. And maybe even write something else, as well.

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Review #22, by SlytherinEmerald and love too

1st July 2011:
Very good one-shot, a nice angle and very well written :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)

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Review #23, by pennyardelle and love too

1st July 2011:
This was very moving, and I love the style it's written in. It's all so fluid, and the perspective fits so nicely with the mood you've set. I love Marauders-Era stories, particularly ones like this which focus in on the more heart-wrenching, tragic parts of their story. I also really enjoy well-written, insightful stories about Peter, who is both one of my favourite and least favourite characters in the series. I think there were a few grammatical things that could have been tightened up in places, but honestly, that was the only thing (and a very small thing, it was) that I didn't 100% love about this.

The last line of this is amazingly poignant and poetic--it's so hard to hit just the right rhythm and weight with words, but when someone does it, the effect is amazing.

Every once in a while, I come across a real gem like this story, and I'm definitely putting it on my favourites list so I don't ever lose track of it. Wonderful story; you definitely have a gift with words. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! ^_^ Peter is quite the character. I agree with you; he's one of my favourite and least favourite characters, as well! Sorry about the grammer- this was written in about an hour, and sent into the queue right after I finished typing the last word. :] I might edit it later on.

You're very good for my ego, did I mention that? Haha. Thank you for the review, and for favouriting! ♥

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