Reading Reviews for Forever Forgotten
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Cassius Alcinder Just Another Day

27th November 2011:
Back again for Chapter 2!

So this chapter definetely moved the story along well. You did a really good job of capturing Lily's personality and how she's a rebellious angst ridden teenager. You can really feel the tensions between Lily and Ginny and the conflict it might boil over into.

I'm a little confused about one thing, is Albus the one that's dead?

This was a good chapter overall, but I would just suggest adding some more descriptions, maybe about the setting and how the characters are feeling. The chapters are fairly short, which is perfectly fine and makes them easily readable, but if you wanted to you could make them longer without changing the plot at all just by going a little more in depth.

Overall its a very interesting story and most readers will have been hooked by now.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

That seems to be something confusing a lot of people. Nope, it's James. When I edit (which is going to be quite soon!) I'll make that clearer. :) Sorry!

Thank you so much. I definitely will try to do that, thanks for pointing it out.


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Review #2, by Cassius Alcinder Prelude

27th November 2011:
It's me from the forums with your review!

So this is definetely an interesting concept for a story, and you seem to be off to a good start. You did an effective job of starting the story on a very serious and somber note, which sets the tone right away.

So I haven't seen the musical, so I can't really comment on that, but I'm guessing you must have to bend the characterizations of the HP characters a bit in order to make them compatible with the musical characters. In particular, Ginny something felt a bit off about Ginny, I just didn't see the feisty defiance I associate with her. Also, Hermione telling Ginny to leave Harry seems OOC to me, remember how mad she was when Ron left in Book 7? But again, that might be ecessary to make them fit their parts with the musical, so I understand that.

Overall this is a good first chapter that will definetely capture attention and set the tone for the rest of the story.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and the help!

Yeah, Ginny seems to be off. I'm going to go through it and try to fix her, make her more in character. Thanks for mentioning it. :)

Thanks. :D


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Review #3, by The_seeker12 Perfect for You

26th November 2011:
Ah! This is a wonderful idea! I'm sorry for not reviewing the other chapters, but I thought I'd just squish it all into one. This story is really interesting, and I love Next to Normal, so this is really intrtiguing to read.
Lily, Harry, and Scorpius is perfect, although my only thought was (and I know this isn't exactly like the musical), but in the musical Diana actually talks to Gabe, and we haven't seen James at all yet. Just hear people talking about him/Ginny talking to him.
Othe than that little tid-bit... I love it. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, this means a lot! I'm glad you thought so. :)

Oh, Ginny will eventually talk to James. I think in the next chapter? And definitely during I Dreamed a Dance/There's a World. Thank you so much. :D


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Review #4, by classicblack Perfect for You

25th November 2011:
Ah the misconceptions of the teeange mind. You're doing a very good job of portraying Lily. I feel as if I say this a lot, but it's definitely true. Your description of how Lily and Scorpius got together was a bit cliche but I liked it a lot.

I hope that in the end of this story, Ginny and Lily manage to reconcile. It was nice reviewing this story and I think you've got a really good start to it, even if it doesn't fit with canon.

Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Thanks! Lily's my favorite to write in the story (as you may be able to tell...) and I'm glad you like her. :)

I won't spoil it but there are definitely some changes to their relationship. :) Thank you so much, your reviews are really helpful!


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Review #5, by classicblack Who's Crazy?

25th November 2011:
I like your interpretation of who really is crazy. The wife who can't get over her son or the husband who is considering wiping her memory clean so that they can have a better life? It's a creative look at the workings of the mind after a horrible event.

I think comparing Harry's fight against Voldemort to this was a nice touch, but I think the fact that Ginny just wants to take drugs don't really fit her character all too well. This whole story is sort of surreal. It's an interesting perspective at what might have happened, even though it doesn't fit in with canon.

Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Why, thank you! I appreciate that. :)

And yes, the problem is keeping canon with the plot. I hope it's an enjoyable read, regardless.


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Review #6, by classicblack Everything Else

25th November 2011:
So I like your incorporation of the Lily's friendship with Scorpius. In addition, I think with Ginny's fiery temper as a precedent, Lily's reaction to the fact that Ginny isn't a very good mother right now is an extremely good job.

I've figured it out now: James is dead and Albus isn't present in this story. Okay, I get it now. The plot so far is extremely interesting and I can't wait to see what you've got up your sleeve next (as I'm not going to read the plot of the musical for any spoilers).

If my reviews are short, I apologize. The chapters are generally one scene each and I'm only reviewing for each chapter. Good job on this one!

Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Thanks! I was hoping Scorpius wouldn't be too out of place here. :)

Your reviews are incredibly helpful! Thank you so much, I appreciate them. :)


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Review #7, by classicblack Just Another Day

25th November 2011:
Wow, the mystery of this story has just skyrocketed. I cannot wait to see how you handle Ginny's emotions. That being said, I feel like Ginny is still being a bit unrealistic. She's sort of crazy? Despite that, Lily is a very good portrayal of a teenage girl who's rebelling against her mother, feeling she doesn't love her.

Some parts are still a bit unclear and I don't know if you mean them to be that way or otherwise. Is it James that is dead? Also, where is Albus in all this? Or does he not exist in this story? I think you'd be able to keep up the air of mystery this story has and still incorporate those answers.

Nice chapter! I think the lengths of each chapter help increase the readability. They're not too long yet not incredibly short.

Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: I'll try to fix Ginny, thanks. Gah. I find it difficult to get her right and keep in line with.. the musical, but I'll fix it.

And yes, James is dead, and Albus will show up later, but his age is going to be fudged a bit, differ from canon. I'm sorry! I'll try to edit that, and make it clearer.

Thank you. :)


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Review #8, by classicblack Prelude

25th November 2011:
Hey it's me with your review!

So far, I think the plot is actually wonderful. I've heard of the musical (though I never saw it or read the plot) and this chapter actually made me want to see the musical. I'm hoping that more of how 'the child'- in this case I'm guessing it's James- died and why Ginny thinks it's her fault will be told.

I think your portrayal of Hermione as Ginny's backbone is very well done. I also think Harry being strong for Ginny as well is a good job, too. With that being said, I don't think Ginny's inability to handle it is all that realistic. Ginny is a superbly strong character. I even watched an interview with JKR where she says that Ginny isn't one of those girls who needs a man to take care of her. She can stand alone and, though I don't like saying it, Ginny would be able to raise a child without Harry if she wanted it. She's had to experience of death of a brother and countless friends; I think she'd be upset at the death of a child, but not totally helpless. I hope, though, that Ginny will learn to love Harry again as I'm very pro-canon.

This story seems to be proving to be very interesting so far.

Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Thank you! Ah, yes. Thanks for saying that about Ginny, that's what I'm worried about. I'll go through it and see how I can fix it, make it more realistic.

Thank you so much! :) That really helps.


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Review #9, by AC_rules Who's Crazy?

25th September 2011:
Arjahdfkijdhs. This is so good. A memory charm? Wow, I can only imagined the consequences that would have on the rest of their lives, Ginny just not remembering... hmm...

My sister is training to be a mental health nurse at the moment and she told me a story a little similar to this about a woman who lost her baby at twenty five and never recovered. She ended up by instituionalised for most of the rest of her life, something which is so impossibly sad and tragic. I could never imagine something so horrible as to lose a baby and it's the sort of thing I genuiely don't think you can ever recover from.

Thank you for writing this story and I'll be sure to continue following it for as long as you're writing it :)

Author's Response: Oh, goodness! Thank you so much! :) That means the world to me, honestly. I'm so glad you like it!

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Review #10, by AC_rules Everything Else

25th September 2011:
Acrules back to review the rest of your story so I can decided the winners of the challenge! This chapter was short, I was little surprised when it ended actually, but no less thought provoking.

I loved how Lily calls her mother 'Ginny' because their relationship is so distant that she finds it hard to think of her as 'mum' - I thought that was very well done and considered.

Lily wanting to move out asap makes great sense too. This is a really good entry - can't wait to read the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought so, and I really appreciate that.

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Review #11, by charlottetrips Prelude

18th September 2011:
Heya! Iím here with your awarded reviews from a gajillion years ago! Better late than never, eh?

Oh, my angst-monster is revving up. I donít know what it is about this genre but I love to write it and I love to read it. Is it because Iím sadistic? I donít know. Maybe itís because I can relate...

Iím excited to read something from older!Ginnyís POV. Thereís something about the thought of fiery Ginny of Hogwarts years growing up to be something like her own mother (who was a rad character of her own) but also not like her mother. How would she compare to the woman who had raised seven children in the middle of a war?

I can totally get that little evil part of Gin who wanted the doctor to have to finish his sentence. If heís going to deliver this bad news to her then heís going to have to suffer himself.

I like how she comes out of her own grief enough to focus on Harry and thatís who made her come out of it.

I didnít quite get the ďself-loathingĒ reference as she didnít seem to be doing so much prior to that line. She was more like ďI canít believe this is happening to meĒ than ďI hate myselfĒ.

Her baby died. God the devastation of that. Now Iím wondering how that happened.

Alright, personal opinion entering in here: So donít approve of taking medication to rid oneself of problems. I guess itís because of my own line of work where I know that there are other solutions to depression than taking something that ruins your system.

Oh how awful. She doesnít love Harry but she canít leave him at the same time. This chapter has filled me with so many questions, which I guess is a good thing seeing as how it makes me continue reading. This is a good start so far. The flow was a little disjointed to me as we cut from the terrible news of her childís death to her feeling better after some weeks and then to the middle of a conversation. This did set it up to where Iím now wondering about a lot of things but maybe that could be taken into consideration.

xChar

Author's Response: And here is my forever-overdue response! I'm so sorry, I haven't been on HPFF in forever.

I'm glad you liked it. And I don't approve of medication to rid problems, either, as a matter of fact. It felt like it should be there, though.

Ah, I see. I'll try to work on that, see what I can fix. :)

Thank you so much!


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Review #12, by CoLorful DreaM Everything Else

6th August 2011:
'painting'? I guess you meant painter there.
This was shorter than the others, but I still enjoyed it. I really found the fight inside Lily as really interesting and intriguing. She kept telling herself that she doesn't need her mother. Still, she was upset there was no love for her. She was missing the moments with her mother. Still, she kept telling herself she didn't need them.
And I also like the pairing Lily/Scorpius. I always thought that Scorose is already too overused...

Ramona
Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thanks! I agree about Scorose, thought it was time to change things up. :)

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Review #13, by CoLorful DreaM Just Another Day

6th August 2011:
The way this was written was... really strong. There was Ginny, thinking they're perfect family, no matte the fights and the fact that her daughter didn't love her. There was also Harry, lying himself everything was ok, even though he recognized that was just the way every day was. And there was Lily, a girl that needed love, support... and had none.
Lily's way of thinking really caught my attention. The girl is already thinking that "Maybe everyone just pretends to like each other so we can all just fucking get along", like things just couldn't be different and well, that's it.
I still don't understand which is the thing she blames on her brother, though...

Ramona
Gryffindor

Author's Response: I'm glad you thought so! I really appreciate it. And she blames her brother for the fact that Ginny doesn't love her like she should. I'll try to make that more clear.

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Review #14, by CoLorful DreaM Prelude

6th August 2011:
First time, because I wasn't as attentive as I should have been at the summary, I thought James was the one child who died. Then she said she's going to have Lily and, after some moments of confusion, it just dawned to me.
This was interesting, although I'm still thinking how could the little child just die. Which was the reason? Was he ill or there happened something worse? If you're going to explain that further, just ignore this.
You talk much about "Ginny's world" and how it's settling once and again... I like that idea of describing Ginny's strange changing...

Ramona
Gryffindor

Author's Response: James was the child who died, actually! He dies at the beginning, and she has Lily later in life. And that's going to come later, actually. :) And thank you! I quite like that part as well.

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Review #15, by AC_rules Just Another Day

4th August 2011:
Oh god, that was horrible. I mean that in the best way. But just, Lily being a messed up teenager rebelling and Ginny... and Harry... and 'the perfect family buisness.' Wow. I also loved Lily's little bit of philosophy - I love things like that - with the 'maybe everyone just pretends to like each other so we can alll get along'

I loved the pace of it too - it felt like a really family occasion, with everything flying around everywhere and things happening quickly. Actually, the only thing I didn't like about the chapter was that firstly, it finished before I wanted to stop reading and second, I didn't like the beginning 'after sixteen years'. I really don't think it needs to be there at all. Due to Lily's behaviour you can tell about how old she is.

(oh, yeah, sometimes you spelt it Lily and others Lilly, you should just go back and edit that - pick one way or the other)

Great job so far though :)

Author's Response: I'm glad it was "horrible in the good way". That's what I was going for. :)

Thank you so much! I'll fix the Lily/Lilly thing - that wasn't intentional, I'm not sure how that happened. :P


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Review #16, by AC_rules Prelude

4th August 2011:
Hi there, its acrules from the forums (which is quite obvious but... still) comming to check out your challenge entry so far. I must confess I did start reading this awhile back but was then pulled away before I had a chance to review properly.

Its horrible to think of Harry and Ginny's world falling apart in such a cruel way. I thought Ginny lashing out at Hermione was really realistic too - people do things when they're under that much pressure and I'm sure loosing a child is one of the worst things you can ever experience. You've certainly given me a lot to think about so far - I'll be reading the next chapter immediately :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :) That means a lot to me.

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Review #17, by Godrics_Helm Just Another Day

28th July 2011:
I am loving the story so far and I can't wait for more! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I definitely will. :)

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Review #18, by Illuminate Prelude

24th July 2011:
Hi! This is a great opening chapter! I'm not sure if this is a oneshot or a WIP, but I think there should be more chapters coming!

This adds some great characterisation to Ginny, and is a great AU. Your descriptions of feelings are great, but perhaps you could add something about physical descriptions, of surroundings and people. It would help with the atmosphere :) Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's most certainly a WIP, glad it seems to fit that bill. I will work on the description! Thanks. :)

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