Reading Reviews for The Resistance
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magicmuggle01 Battle In The Sky

3rd May 2012:
Indeed, how many more characters are you planning on killing off? Your almost as bad as JK LOL:D.
Another excellent chapter, well written and flowed really well. I can't wait to see what you have planned for your next excting chapter. 10/10 and please update soon.

Author's Response: Oh just you wait!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #2, by magicmuggle01 Preparations for Diplomacy

3rd May 2012:
It's not as boring as you say it is. I was relieved to see that the battle was won. And I can't wait to see how the Ambassadors get on.
10/10 and moving on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Their time in America should prove to be quite interesting methinks!

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Review #3, by magicmuggle01 The Battle of Chestnut Hill

3rd May 2012:
Once again WOW. What a great battle scene. The detail was perfect. You certainly know how to write a dramatic moment. Must move on and another well earned 10/10.

Author's Response: WOW! THANKS! That means a lot to me!

Thanks for reviewing! :D


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Review #4, by magicmuggle01 Berwick

3rd May 2012:
Wow, Ana certainly gave the commanding officers a rough time. But then in time of war a commanding General cannot afford to be kind and soppy. They have to be tough and get the job done. Nice chapter and another 10/10. Must move on.

By the way, Berwick is a town not a city like you said at the beginnig of this chapter.

Author's Response: Ooh thanks for picking that up. I did a crash course in English geography simply by looking at a map...

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Review #5, by magicmuggle01 Preparations

3rd May 2012:
Hi again.

Wow exciting stuff. You certainly know how to keep the adrenaline flowing. Two attacks, very daring.
Excellent chapter and 10/10. Must move on.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #6, by Deltaris Dunlap's Plan

31st March 2012:
I like the break in action here. You use the meeting as a tool to tell the read just how bad the war has gotten.

Muriel! I can completely see that coming back to haunt them. Especially after Bill's comment that she's very influential.

I agree with your author's note, this seemed like the best place to stop. The length of the chapter is fine, given the information and (possible) foreshadowing that we're given from the meeting.

I think that your characters are believable and true, so far. The back and forth with the Weasleys seems like something that would happen. I love Ginny here :)

Del<3

Author's Response: I haven't decided what'll happen to Muriel yet but I can say that she will come back. I'm thinking as a spy for the Death Eaters maybe...

I'm glad you agree!

That's a good thing that you think the characters are believable and true! I worry that Hermione gets a little OOC later though...

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #7, by Deltaris Deaths and Meetings

31st March 2012:
Great chapter. The flow of the action was smooth and easy to follow. I admire Andromeda here, she's so brave. The fact that she recognizes that Ana will aid the war more than herself, and fights until the end, is extremely touching.

The tension within the room is almost palpable to the reader, you did a fantastic job portraying the mood of the war. I like that you used George as a bit of comic relief, it really helped ease that tension and was like a little glimmer of hope.

I love that you implemented the voting system the way that you did. Being a sorority girl, I see this happen every week at meeting. We never saw much of it in canon, and I think that it's essential to decision making. Although, I do think it would be acceptable and necessary to throw it out eventually, when the war gets tougher, the harder decisions need to be made and put into action immediately.

The ending gave us a glimpse into Ana, which I think is great. She's not just a fighter, she's a human being, and you show that simply and beautifully.

Del<3

Author's Response: I do like Andromeda... I wish I hadn't killed her off... Who knows though? Maybe it wasn't a killing curse and they captured her!

Yo're right. She is a human. Even BA'S in awesome epic actiony movies show a bit of a human side.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by Deltaris Chaos

31st March 2012:
This is definitely very different than most fics. The direction is interesting, and this was a great introductory chapter.

I feel like there could've been a little more background, though. For instance, how did the muggles find out, when did they decide to join the fight, how have the Death Eaters gained such strong numbers so quickly. Forgive me if I misunderstood the timeline, but if Voldemort fell a month ago, it seems (to me) that more time would've been necessary for such a huge movement. Especially if the Order is down to only holding ground around Godric's Hollow. More background would make it more believable, although it doesn't seem unrealistic now.

Your grammar and sentence structure is fantastic. I didn't notice any errors, besides a forgotten period here: "there were those that supported evilness, though[.]"

I think this is a really good set up for an intense, chaotic war story. I look forward to seeing where this goes :)

Del<3

Author's Response: Huh. That's a good point. I guess it's so clear in my head I just assume everyone knows what's going through my head. I think I'll start woeking on a prequel short story after I finish this one that'll start at the Battle of Hogwarts and go until the setting up of HQ in Godric's Hollow!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #9, by Levana Dunlap's Plan

10th September 2011:
Awesome! Yet again! Update soon!

Author's Response: Be patient!

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Review #10, by magicmuggle01 Dunlap's Plan

10th September 2011:
I have a funny feeling that Muriel will be out to cause trouble after being chucked out. Another good chapter and 10/10 and I eagerly await an update.

Author's Response: Hmmm... I have written to chapter ten and Muriel has yet to make an appearance. But who knows?

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #11, by academica Deaths and Meetings

20th August 2011:
Here I am with your review! (Brownie points indeed!!)

This was a good second chapter. I thought the action flowed pretty well, and it was fairly easy to follow what was going on even with the abrupt change in scenes. I thought Andromeda's letters were really touching and seem to fit well with what we know of her character. I also liked the scene at the command center; it was neat to watch familiar characters stepping up to help out in this very bleak situation.

Andromeda's second letter was a little confusing. "I wish for me to know..." -- did you mean something like, "it would comfort me to know" or did you mean to replace me with something else? I saw some missing commas and grammar errors here also, so I would recommend that you look into getting a beta from the forums. They're all very nice :)

Still a very interesting story. I like that your chapters are short because it's easy to read through them, but at the same time, they might benefit from you adding some additional imagery and/or filling out the dialogue a little bit. Just an idea :) Thanks for the request, and as always, I hope my comments are helpful!

academica

Author's Response: Phew that's a relief! I'm glad it flowed! I figured that the wizards and witches in the command center were all important characters in the Wizarding World. All the Weasleys would be treated with respect now, because of their seniority in fighting against Death Eaters.

Hm... I think I'll change that part too to clear it up, but your interpretation is correct. You're right. I should definitely get a beta to help me fight bad grammar!

I try to keep all of my chapters above 1000 words, but that's my only guideline usually. More detail is always helpful! :D

And your comments were very helpful - thanks!



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Review #12, by academica Chaos

19th August 2011:
Hey there! Here with your requested review :)

Oh, Ana Lucia :) For a second I got really scared that this was a crossover, because I still haven't finished watching through Lost on Netflix (I know, I know, but I've got the attention span of a squirrel). However, it looks like I'll be in the clear :)

I think the ways you've twisted and changed canon here are interesting. I do sort of wish you had "shown" rather than directly "told" what happened and who Ana Lucia is, though. For example, you could show what Hermione is doing by having Ana Lucia overhear her on the radio while she's getting ready or something. I thought your writing flowed pretty well, but you did have some punctuation issues, like missing commas and periods. You could have a beta look over future chapters really quick before posting them, or you could just proofread again yourself. Either way, they don't obstruct my enjoyment of the story.

The story is interesting, but I'm a little confused by it. You didn't really explain how and why the wizards began using guns in their war when they had previously relied on magic. I also thought the action progressed a little too quickly, seeing as Ana didn't really have a reaction to Joe's unfortunate encounter with the Dementor. That could be attributed to her being hardened by war, I suppose, and the Ana Lucia from Lost would certainly act that way. I would encourage you to develop her character more fully; it makes a story more interesting, as opposed to just dropping a character from some other series into Harry Potter. Finally, the flashback about her mother was a little brief for my taste. I think it would have been better if you'd set it more apart (it gets easily lost in the text) and wrote it a little longer and more detailed.

I'm really sorry if this sounds like a harsh review. A lot of things jumped out at me as I was reading and I always try to be honest, especially if the review is requested. Your spelling and grammar are both great, and I think the idea is really original. Your characterization isn't bad, either :)

Nice work! Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)

academica

Author's Response: Ha I love Lost and I actually have started a Lost/HP crossover! I finished it on Netflix in maybe four months and i watched the first season on three days...

I totally understand where you're coming from with the idea of showing. I think I'll throw in some dreams and flashbacks in upcoming chapters. That's such a good idea.

And you make another good point here! I have thought of posting little one shots in between waits for chapters with missing moments. With Joe's kissing (that sound's really weird to say), I think i'll add a simple: "Joe!" screamed Ana. In later (unposted) chapters I feel as if her character is more fleshed out as I change to a first person point of view as I decided it was getting boring and dull. I'll definitely consider adding more to Ana's mother dying.

Phhh, harsh reviews are the best. It shows that you actually care and want to help me! I appreciate it!

Thanks so much for reviewing! You were very helpful!

PS I just re-requested a review!


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Review #13, by Levana Deaths and Meetings

10th August 2011:
Excellent chapter!! My favorite part was when George said "Which one?" when Porter told Ron to come in. Hahaha that made me laugh. Can't wait for the next update!! :D

Author's Response: Gotta love George!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #14, by magicmuggle01 Deaths and Meetings

10th August 2011:
Another great chapter and it's a pity that Andromeda had to die, I rather liked her. 10/10 and plz update soon.

Author's Response: In my original plan Tonks was actually going to be Nymphadora. But then I decided to keep it more canonical. I really liked Andromeda too but she had a purpose in this story, which was to die...

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #15, by Bella Ella Cinderella Chaos

25th July 2011:
Whoah. This is so different than other fics I've read. I really like it.

Update soon!

Author's Response: I suppose it is rather different.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #16, by Levana Chaos

12th July 2011:
Awesome! Can't wait to read more! 10/10 (and I hardly give those away!)

Author's Response: I have up to the fifth chapter written so far. Forgiveness Chap 3 is in the queue right now and I'm planning on putting Into the Mists Chap 4 next, so be patient!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by magicmuggle01 Chaos

12th July 2011:
Wow I like the start of your new story. You leave alot to the imagination. 10/10. I can't wait to see your update.

Author's Response: Glad you like it!

Thanks for reviewing!


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