This is really not a great story, the ending is weird and fast. It seems like you were in a rush to finish. Report Review
Hello! I think this one shot has a lot of potential!
The biggest problem I had with this was the spelling and grammar. There were quite a few issues with it, and it just made the entire story hard to read. Because of that, I couldn't really enjoy the story as much as I would have liked to. Just try proof reading a bit more, or you can get a beta at the forums, which should help you immensely.
You certainly write romance well. Those parts were really nice, and the imagery was very good.
You have a ton of potential as an author, so don't stop writing! Just keep writing and writing and you'll get so much better! This was a really nice one shot, and with some proof reading, I know you can make it a lot better. Good job, hun!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw Report Review
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