Alright madame, here it comes.
Really? Red. Lily has a bright red umbrealla? have you not heard that her hair is bright red too? All the colours in the world and you pick RED!?!?! Nice job. Also I like the rain, I love rain it's so awesomesauce. I'm putting rain in my next chapter. Very nicely written too, love heavy rain (oh good game too).
She's not wearing socks under her wellies? That would be uncomfortable after a while, no wonder she needed to take her boots off. And a skirt? It's pouring rain, wouldn't she wear pants... oh, I see now, never mind.
Oh Severus is a tease, eh? I like it. I think I'm starting to see the James hate here. Is life with the Potters truly that dismal? Or are moments at Spinners End just that good?
Very nice work on holding things out there, Severus must have some serious willpower. And now a slightly tattered shirt.
The moment of, let's just say release shall we? Keep it Mike safe, well written, delightfully fervent. Painted nails on pale skin, great imagery (I like that word, imagery).
"I'm memorizing you." My favorite quote so far, it sounds so loving and cute. It's like their nothing but a pair of teenagers experiencing puppy love.
Ok new favorite, how exactly would Severus be striking a pose? Are we going to see the Potion's Masters calendar one day and flip open to July and see ol' Sev all moody and broody over his cauldron?
Oh they sound so like teenagers. That playful fighting and fluffy conversation. So cute, like puppies. Oh have I mentioned how much i love puppies, aren't they just the best, so cute and playful. Sorry, where was I?
Are you serious? No, he's Sirius, see over there *pointing*. Sorry, distracted again. A dream? That was mean, poor Sevie. If she wants to be with him so much then why not. The world will get over it. They have their saviour now. Loved James there though, so moody and lazy.
Overall, very well written, nicely poigniant. Great imagery (that word again). Nicely paced, well written characters, especially given the dramatica absence of dialogue in the first part. It definately is a wonderful banner too, nice work there Gambit. I quite enjoyed it, as you may be able to tell from the review, I'm not sure on that though. For my first read of your work a nice entry point. Be warned though I will be reading more, mwhahaha*cough*
TyrannicFeenixAuthor's Response: Oh my word, how on earth to respond to this review?! Hahaha
I don't know why Lily's umbrella is red, I just kind of saw it as the bright spot in Severus's day filled with grays and neutral colors. She is is pop of color and I suppose the umbrella signifies that.
I like to think Severus is a tease. Why not? You know, he definitely has this austere personality but I think for her, he would have breathed a bit. He would have been himself. Love changes people...even if no one else can see it.
That's a very nice way to put the uhh...questionable stuff :)
I think the memorizing line is my favorite...so that there'd always been a mental picture...aww it makes me kind of sad to be honest with you.
LOL at the snape calendar. yes please.
I know, I'm a horrible person, but I did tell you that tragedy is my thing. It's what I do the best :) You can really see my James hate coming out here in this particular instance though. I really despite him.
Isn't Gambit fantastic? Love the banner, and I'm so happy you enjoyed my story. I hope you read more...*shifty eyes* but now I'm all nervous about it.
Thanks SO MUCH for reviewing! Report Review
OMG this was a wonderful story!!
I loved your take on Snape and Lily's relationship. Mostly, I read stories on how Snape years for Lily, this is one of the rare ones where its the opposite.
The beginning was really well-written. I loved the scene description, I could almost see it playing in front of my eyes. Snape and Lily's love for each other was tangible through the narrative too.
The dream part was quite unexpected, and when Lily cries for Severus, it broke my heart.
I think this was a beautifully written story. The characterizations were good, the narrative was awesome, the pace and the flow was well done.
And of course, there were no grammatical or spelling errors
Slytherin for the Cup 2012Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this Aditi! I like to think that Lily might have yearned for Snape sometimes, almost as a kind of what could have been.
The dream part for me, is so heart breaking because she is faced harshly with her reality, with this baby and with James and maybe a life that she likes, but that she doesn't LOVE. And part of her really think that maybe what's missing lies with Severus.
Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
I really enjoyed this, I thought it was a wonderful one-shot. You really pulled me in with your descriptions, the love Severus and Lily had for each other was very evident. Great story :)Author's Response: This is one of my favorites because I feel like it's one of my most well written pieces. Thank you so much for reading! Report Review
Ash, every time I read one of your stories, I know I'm in for a kick in the heart.
That was SO heartbreaking, yet so lovely. Because of your love for Sev/Lily, I've been addicted ever since reading Forgiveness...
slytherinAuthor's Response: I know, this is so sad but I love that I have helped you become addicted to Sev/Lily. It's definitely my fav pairing by far!! :) THANK YOU! Report Review
Aww, Ash, I'm so glad you sent me the link for this. I adore anything Snape-y and have been working on my own Lily/Snape one-shot so I'm all sorts of in love with this. You really added some great details in here. I particularly loved Lily's red umbrella and pink toenails. The thought of her vibrancy compared to the dark gray of Snape is what makes them such an interesting pair. I also liked the contrast between the tenderness of the first scene and the harsh realities of the second - the high of the interaction brought back down to earth by the realization of the choices she had made. Overall, great one-shot. Make sure to poke me when you post more Snape stories!Author's Response: Thanks for reading this! :) I'm glad that you love it so much! I really love the contrast between Snape and Lily too. They are just...they are different and yet I feel like they mesh so well. Well at least in my mind they do! I know this is so terribly sad but I like to think in my mind they are somewhere happy together :) Report Review
Hey LR! Um...wow :O I think this is probably the most amazing introduction to Snape/Lily I could wish for. This just blew me away. I felt everything. It was painful, and sad. The whole story was very realistic.
Psh, that just made me love Snape/Lily even more, which I didn't think would be possible. It just...gah. Words do not describe.
And this is an incredibly in-eloquent review, but, I loved it :D That's really all there is to say I guess. That and wow.Author's Response: Awww Thanks for your words about this! I love this story a lot, it was sad writing it but I think that they belonged together damnit! Anyway thanks so much for reviewing Report Review
Wow. This was gorgeous. And the second scene where she has to get up and tend to Harry just made the entire thing seem much more bittersweet.And, your use of metaphors to set the scene, and the general descriptions were great and really helped me to envision the situation.
Leanne :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! I do love a good metaphor every once in a while :D thank you so very much. Report Review
wow, i dont know what to say! I just loved this so much! Your really talented :) keeep writingAuthor's Response: Thanks you very much for your review. Report Review
Ello! Well, as I mentioned in SFCP, I'm not really a huge fan of Sev/Lily stories. BUT, this was absolutely amazing. Perfect and wonderful and sweet with a hint of sadness. I almost wanted Lily to end up with Snapeyboy. They really loved each other, and you wrote it out perfectly, their feelings. There's just something about it...I really wanted to read more. Why did Lily sometimes miss the 'meetings'? What made her choose James (aside from him being safer)? YOU SHOULD WRITE A NOVEL! I would read it for sure!!
Excellent! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading this! I love Sev/Lily. I have always thought about writing a novel with Sev/Lily but the problem is I can really only do snippets of their relationship because I am such a canon writer. And obviously they didn't exist in "canon" so writing a story in novel length where Lily and Sev end up together just isn't in the cards for me unfortunately. But it would definitely be something interesting to explore. Report Review
Wow, this was incredible. If only the dream had been real :)Author's Response: Aww Thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
Ash, Ash, Ash. This story is so beautiful. I'm not really a fan of any ships until I read it written really well and its safe to say you've made me a fan of Snape/Lily :P Great job with this, honestly. The passion of the first section and the sadness of the second section make this so bittersweet that I wish it hadn't been a dream :(
-SarahAuthor's Response: YAY Another Snape Lily Fan!! thank you so much for reading it, I am sad that it was a dream too :'( I'm so glad you liked it! Report Review
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