Nice start to a story, Jenna! I can just see Albus Dumbledore telling tales and Elphias Doge sitting at his feet, listening in raptures. And with that mental image, the nickname "dog" that the Slytherins used does have its relevance. I've never really thought much about Dumbledore's school life, but this is a believable rendition of it.
I must say too that I particularly liked your description of the landing in the water feeling like sinking into a large Christmas pudding. Very evocative and extremely well put. Nicely done!
cheers, MelAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! This is my least feedback'ed story so it's so wonderful to hear something about it. Especially good stuff. ^_^
I'm glad that you liked the opening and thank you for taking time to leave a review! --Jenna Report Review
I keep reading more because it's so rare to see any Dumbledore fic and even then, it's usually just the same old stuff - this is so different, I keep wanting to find out how he'll react to certain situations, how he will behave, if he'll come through, if his talents will be used - please continue!Author's Response: Everything about Albus I've seen is in his late teens and based around the whole Grindelwald thing *guilty* so I wanted to go younger on him. I wanted to leave out any romantic element so I put him too young to care. :P
There's some big moments for him coming up in chapter 4 and 5. :D --Jenna Report Review
Ooooh, I like her. It's good to see a fighting and ferocious female in any era, but going back this far it's a rare joy. I like how fiesty she is, and how well rounded she is, only two short chapters in.
It is a good job Albus has broken his wand, as things might be a little too easy for The Greatest Wizard of Time if he had that at his hand. Though still, I do wonder if he might show some of his foretold brilliance now - there'd be no better time!Author's Response: Thank you times like 500! I've always seen Guinevere that way in my head (I'm an Arthurian lover) so I figured I'd give it a go on paper...er screen.
Yeah, for the scenes coming up, having his wand would completely kill all the action and adventure. I mean "accio necklace" and The End. :( Couldn't have that. Plus part of his personal mission is to become stronger without his wand.
...I ramble. Sorry.
Thank you again! --Jenna Report Review
Excellent chapter, the introduction to Guinevere was very well done and the language...while awkward and stilted against Albus' modern English, is also well done. Am I to guess by her choice of colours, she's...a little bit Slytherin?
And in this universe, does Merlin exist or is he just a story like Arthur and Guinevere? Or perhaps the story is historical in this instance?Author's Response: Thank you. ^.^
I have to admit, I spent hours trying to get the right amount on her dialogue. Because while Old English is something I'm pretty good at, I didn't want to add too much and make it a pain to read, or too little and it seem out of place.
Yup, she's a total Slytherin. I used the colour choices to kind of get everyone in that mind set already, but she proves herself one soon. :)
Well I consider Merlin, Arthur and Guinevere legends in the sense of "no one quite knows the real story". Kind of the way they are now, but the wizarding community would have a more close connection, believe that they were real more than we do. I like to think Albus sees them all as historical, but skewed. I hope that makes sense...
(Like if in 500 years, someone told the story of Obama becoming President and said he had laser-vision too.)
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I was starting to consider dropping this story because it didn't seem like anyone was reading. Now I'm inspired all over again! --Jenna Report Review
An extremely original idea for a fic! I love that you've used Albus as the main character, and his era for one thing - and to tie in Arthurian legend is very unique!
The writing style is flawless, and you have a very easy to read flow, that isn't overburdened with flowery prose but still very descriptive and imaginative. I also think you've got a great handle on the characters, I love how Elphias and Albus were portrayed, and I even love that their tormentors called him 'Dog', it seems like such an obvious thing, but I don't think I've seen it before.
Great chapter and I will be reading more!Author's Response: Thank you! While I can't take credit for the two character choices (they were the challenge given) the rest was mine. I was very excited to get Albus actually. I like writing him. ♥
Thank you again. *blushes* That means a lot! --Jenna Report Review
when is the next chapter coming out??? usually I only read completed ones. I felt like I wanted to read this tho :)Author's Response: I'm not sure yet. I don't really have them on a schedule. :) Report Review
ah! so good! it took a bit to get going, but it was very well done! i'm doing this challenge too!Author's Response: Thank you. Can't wait to check out what write! Gonna go see who you got for it. :D --Jenna Report Review
In answer to your author's note; yes, I will be coming back to read more of this. I'm very interested and, now, excited to read more! So I hope there's more soon.
Though, while I wait, I will be reading more of Haunted. :)Author's Response: Thank you. :) I hope that you enjoy what's coming up and thanks for reviewing! --Jenna Report Review
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