*takes a moment to regain breath after laughing* I love this story and Scorp so much. It's really funny and wild, but at the same time Scorp thinks about things in an interesting way that really gets a person thinking. I think my favorite one from this chapter is this one:
"I have never met a height I was not taller than while standing on top of it, and find my shoes’ notions to be ridiculous."
And I have to agree. Neither have I. You're really funny and creative and I have a suggestion for you. I think you should apply for RMI, an international magical role-playing site based on Harry Potter and focused on writing. I'm pretty positive there is a staff position open, if you want to write a teacher. I think you'll love the authors there, too. They are fun and crazy, too. I don't want to put the site up here, but just type RMI Magic into the search engine and you'll see it. Really. Check it out.Author's Response: I loved writing Le Scorp. Half of it makes no sense whatsoever, and the other half is run-on sentences, puns, and abusing turns of phrase. I'm happy you enjoyed reading this! Thank you very much. :) Report Review
THE LAST CHAPTER. NOOO :'( how will I live without le Scorp in my life? I might just have to write my own one-shot with such a 'swaggy' Scorp. And I will owe it all to you, you wonderful human being you.
These are the best sentences so far: "I am a lady of the night, a man of the moon. Why dost thou dare to hide thine self from thee? Figurative yelling!" If I was half as witty and funny as you, I would be crying with happiness all the time.
"You have no legs, and if you did, you would not have the kind of legs that would look good in high-heeled shoes." However Scorpius' legs look wonderful in high heels. I should know, he wore mine ;)
"Someone has to hold you all the time in order for you to function. I do not take orders from instruments that are constantly snogging people to insure survival." I have never thought about things in this way. We should tell Annie that her instruments are merely using her to stay alive. We should break it to her gently though, or she may get upset ;)
Please never leave me: "I detest you because I have not taken de test at the end of the year like I was supposed to, the one you are supposed to complete before the Sarah money. No one has congraduated me all day and it is not thoroughfare. I will not sit for this! Which explains why I am standing!" I can't explain the emotions I am feeling reading this. It's like I'm discovering new things about words that I never looked at before. This is a wonderful adventure with Scorpius. Maybe he should write his own dictionary, consisting of words he doesn't know and what he thinks they mean. That would be great before-bed reading material, I feel.
I adore you: "My body is half-man and half-boy. The left half is man and the right half is boy. This is why I only have to shave one armpit." This leads to lots of hilarious imaginings, and I wish I could draw so that I could draw what I am thinking.
"My cat at home would be purring loudly. My father would still be on his business trip that he left for two years ago. I would be staring at my magnificent muscular armor like everyone else, because when I woo everyone I also woo myself. It is the curse of being so woo-able." Okay, you just added something that makes me feel things for Scorpius, that his dad has left home :( I knew there was a reason he was like this! (or am I making things up to explain this wonderful character?)
"I am wearing a glittery jumpsuit." OHMYGOD IT'S LETTUCE FROM 'STARVING ARTISTS'.
AHAHAHA: "Professor Sprout's eyes are large. I make mine larger. She cannot win this duel!" I love how everything is a competition with him. Basically, I love him. I think you might have gathered that a few chapters ago.
This has been the most wonderful experience and I am adding this to my list of favourites. I wish I had half the amount of wit and imagination as you, Sarah, because this is not only hilarious, but is told unbelievably well for a story with such a disjointed protagonist.
I love thee most ardently.Author's Response: YOU FAVORITED THIS, THOU ART SURELY A GOD.
Plz write a swaggy Scorp. There needs to be more swaggy Scorp out there, floating around in cyberspace with sparkly sunglasses and three shirts instead of one because what if he accidentally loses one of his shirts while he's building a rope ladder? I have decided to stop making sense today. Chicken nuggets!
LE SCORP DICTIONARY. I feel like this would be enlightening for all mankind.
P.S. I want to see that illustration. Extra shadowing on the armpit.
Poor Scorp. His father pretended to leave home just to get rid of him but didn't actually go anywhere. He just hides on a different floor of the house. BAD DRACO, BAD.
The world is a competition and Scorp is winning because Scorp cannot lose. He cannot lose because he wears three shirts and so he cannot lose all of them at once because that doesn't make any sense, particularly cents because he once found a Sickle and he ate it on accident. Except not really because he thought it might be a Chocolate Sickle.
Awww Hannah you are so nice. I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU STOPPED BY TO READ THE LEGEND OF SCORPEO. ♥ MUCH LOFF FOR YOUUU~ Report Review
I just can't keep away. I wonder what animal Scorpius will transform into this time. Or whether he'll actually be able to give McGonagall her make-over. This is all wonderful.
ANOTHER CAMEO WOOO! ""My name is Molly."
I open my mouth wider to permit louder sounds to emit through my pearly lips, freshly chapped with stick. "Rosalie Weasley!" I cry again, although I am not crying. There is no physical wetness anywhere near my glorious cheeks or eyes or other organs that were assigned to my face during birth." Ew. I don't like the image in my head of being assigned certain organs just before birth. Ew.
I'M SPARTACUS! "I was meant to be Spartacus!" I shield my eyes, staring at my eyelids in vain and torture. "Inside of me, there will always be a tiny Spartacus wanting to come out. It asks my mother, but she resists." And his poor, lonely hands. I'll keep them warm ah3h3h3. Not in a cr33p3r way, just in a Beatles 'I wanna hold your hand' way.
PICK ME ;) "he tells me I require a woman for pro-recreational purposes!" My peers are looking at me and I am enjoying it immensely. If I possessed sideburns, burning both sides of my face with frivolous golden stubble, it would make this scenery all the more grand." and we all know his sideburns would be grand. They would be fabulous, with sequins and their own names assigned to them. They would have little side adventures with Mrs Norris in her bell-bottomed jeans.
"I pose, just in case. My arms are now bent at the elbows, hands behind my head. I lift one dainty leg in the air, pointing my toes downward like so." This man is a god, as he has already stated. This man could do the 'Venus leg wax' adverts and no-one would care. They would be entranced by his leg hair and swoon.
I NOTICED! "You have been wooed by me for all time, but you didn't realize it until you realized it, which is just now" therefore we shall be together.
Rose is attempting to seduce him again? Never! I shall be there to stop her with my many-cameo army, made up of both swooning men and women. This sounds brilliant. This shall be done. Yes. (I notice I have started talking like Le Scorp. I like this development.)
I love the way everyone else is so serious and normal like this happens every day: "Wish number one," she replies immediately. "Go die in a hole."/I graze a hand through my halo of curls, fluttering my eyelashes with voodoo supremacy. "You fight me, O Red One, but you want me. This is factual." I wish I knew someone like this.
AHAHAHA: "I wink at them with both eyes, so as to double the charm. "Give me your wishes, Weasley! I will see what I can do! We will plunder the hills with our kissing-of-the-lips. This is destiny." I'm your density - I mean, destiny. Oh 'Back to the Future', how you aid me in my wooing moments.
This line genuinely made me laugh out loud, much like your other lines. "Mrs. Norris arrives much too late. She was supposed to be my dueling second. I yell at her with our mind-speak that she is late." I am imagining Mrs Norris being sad about the tuna and it breaks my heart.
Why are you so fabulous? More so than Scorpius, and that is surely saying something.Author's Response: When I read your reviews I had to go back and reread some bits of the story because I was like, "There is no way I actually put that in there," but YARR I DID, and there was much snerking. What does that say about myself that I snerk at my own stuff. I think I might have typed this story in my sleep.
VENUS LEG WAX ADVERTS LOOL. He would probably enjoy doing that very much. Except he would shave with butter instead of a razor and then put his feet in hats instead of shoes, yodeling about the prices of beef.
lool talking like Le Scorp. I noticed that on days that I wrote this story, I would go around talking like that, making flamboyant arm gestures. "WHAT IS THIS I SEE? IS IT A SPOON? NEIGH, IT IS NOT A SPOON. ALSO NAY. EXCLAMATION MARK. IT IS A TINY DUCK. I SHALL PUT IT IN MY POCKET FOR ALL TIME."
Baww, Mrs. Norris's tuna.
Thank you, Honnoh! But not as fabuloso as you~~ ♥ Report Review
Your little A/N before the chapter made me beyond happy. Scorpius can now also be a puffin, although he is to be a puffin, and as such shall be a flamingo. Wearing a beret. And sparkly tights.
This boy needs to write a book of poetry. " I am always exact. Exact rhymes with fact and I am a man of many factoids. Ask my mother and she will vouch." All of it would no doubt be about himself, but it would be wonderful just the same.
"My hands are on my hips now. My hips are marvelous, like doubloons." I am imagining him dancing like in the last chapter. This is strange...and good. But this is the best description of him yet: "you self-sexual pighead!"
This is obviously dedicated to me, yes? "I want to be lord of your emotions! I want to build a manor in your heart and clean its windows fortnightly.' But I shan't do this. I will not acquiesce with your fantasies of moonlight and Christmas trees that sit in front of parlor-room fires. No! Neigh, I say! Also, I say this out loud!"
Okay, this is definitely about me ;) "She is looking at me. She is also looking passionate. I have begun to consider whether or not I should wink, as she seems to be engaging in the kissing-of-the-lips with me." I like to find my cameos in fics.
Why is this man not my husband already? He is so cultured ;) "However, my words were garbled. They sounded like this: "Meow! Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow."...Gasp! Kitty speak! I do not remember taking such classes. I must have picked it up from Sir Pawsies, who is my dainty feline at home."
"lulz in conversations" you know my weakness: internet speak in conversation/internal monologue. I am swooning once more.
"Meow!" she says. But really it does not sound that way to me because I am a child of the meow language, very fluent of course. A love child. And Mrs. Norris is saying: "Yo. Wassup?"" Mrs Norris spin-off now. In which she is the gangsta of Hogwarts and is greatly feared for being so 'g'.
SCORPOLADE! I hope this is made into a product. Actually I don't. It would be too fabulous for my tongue and would surely burn me when I touch it.
This man better become a journalist. He would have the most fascinating insights into the news of the day. "I am going to mentally smite you with my undying wrath. I have smited you. There. You are smitten! This has just taken place, very recently. In fact, it is still happening. That is how current this news flash is." The BBC would be a much more interesting place... ;)
Best. Ending. Yet. "I am goddess of destiny./P.S. I must remember to knit Mrs. Norris a pair of denim trousers. Preferably bell-bottoms to show off her slim ankles."
I am so glad we are friends. This is too brilliant.Author's Response: Scorpius is a lovely little puffin. Self-sexual pighead, lulz lulz lulz. When I was writing this I realized I didn't know what his sexual orientation was. He winks at everyone. But mostly he just loves himself, so there you have it.
Hannah, this is obvs about you. Scorpius built a lavish manor in your heart and he cleaned its windows fortnightly, except you kept closing the curtains and it made him sad. He knocked but there was no response, and he was a downtrodden Scorp 5ever~
lulz in conversations, bahaha that was just gratuitous on my part. This is the only fic I've ever posted where I literally just wrote whatever nonsense fell into my brain, and didn't edit any of it out or try to make total sense. HULKKEYBOARDSMASH.
Mrs. Norris is so 'g' that the other letters in the alphabet turned into numbers because they cannot compare. I don't even know. Where is my brain right now.
I AM ALSO GLAD THAT WE ARE FRIENDS. P.S. YOU ARE AWESOME AND IF YOU HAD GILLS I WOULD PUT YOU IN A LITTLE BOWL AND TRY NOT TO OVERFEED YOU BECAUSE SOMETIMES I OVERFEED FISH, THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO HUNGRY OKAY I CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR THIS.
♥ Report Review
I couldn't keep away, and I am not sorry at all. This man is beautiful and weird and wonderful and I am in awe of your masterful writing skills.
"I am a god." YES! I knew he'd start/end his diary entry with this. 10 points to Hannah...
Wow. Professor Longbottom may have to fight with me if he dares to take Scorpius away from me ;) "I see Professor Longbottom and I give him a wink. He raises his eyebrows very high and keeps walking, and I smirk to myself. I have won him over with my charm and he isn't even aware of it."
"I run my tongue over my teeth and give Amy Finnegan the thumbs-up. She knows what I like. Neither of our fantasies will allow to be tamed." Amy may also need to be fought. I vote a dance competition for this one though. And of course, Scorpius will interrupt with his chorus line of dancing elves and steal the show (and my heart... ;))
Well this is...phallic? "I have taped a six-inch extension to one end, so that now it is twenty-seven inches long and a delight to the ladies." And yes! A dance off! "She is incredibly impressed. This is why she is running away from me." We're of the same mind I feel, Sarah.
"I will don my feather boa for classes tomorrow. They look excellent with my sunglasses." JKR missed out a trick there. Harry might have excelled even more if he'd worn this combo, surely.
This better be repeated in later chapters: "Thief! Thief of facial hair!" We all knew that Flitwick was hiding something.
"I throw my arms open wide and begin to thrust my hips in a circular motion. I stick my arms behind my head, jostling one knee in time to the music that I am utterly convinced everyone else hears." Alex Pettyfer doing this in my mind I...I don't understand, nor do I care. This is hilarious.
"I wonder what the joke is. I lick my lips at him and he shuts up. He is now looking quite bewildered, and he flies away." I have no words anymore. This man is beyond reason, and I love it. Author's Response: You would be the master of the dance competition. Le Scorp will dance with you, but he will forget to dance physically because he'll be too busy concentrating on dancing mentally, which is a very important part of the dancing process.
If Harry had worn sunglasses and a feather boa, Voldemort would've seen who he was dealing with and surrendered right then and there. No one messes with the boa.
Alex Pettyfer, snerk.
U IZ DA EGGS TO MAH BACON. ♥ Report Review
SARAH, BEFORE I START, THE TAGLINE MADE ME LAUGH TOO MUCH AND I AM MUCHOS EXCITED FOR THIS.
"Uou, there! You shall move! I shall point at you mercilessly with my hands on my perfectly shaped hips. You will be intimidated." where has this boy been all my life? I am so glad I am alone at the moment because I am snorting too loudly for it to be deemed 'ladylike'
MY JOB. "I have hired that skinny girl in the back, Frieda Jordan, to follow me around and put wind in my hair with her wand." I will tousle his blonde hair al day ;)
"I do not keep track of details such as DNA (The long version of this three letter word is in Latin and I do not speak Latinese yet) and fingerprints and homo-goblins." A spin off ensues with these so-called 'homo-goblins' that speak only in Latinese and interpretive dance. Yes?
I wish to quote more about his knowledge about leather and his lavender scarf, but then you would surely be bored/stunned by the amazingness one character can hold. I bow down at your feet for creating such a beautiful monstrosity ;)
"Holly Egram is staring at me! I wink at her. Now I notice that her boyfriend Michael is staring at me. I wink at him, too." This man knows no bounds. And I have fallen in love already.
This boy deserves to be Head Boy if only for his grasp of the English language and his fashion sense: " I stand up and waltz over to him, taking care to angle my face toward the window so that the sunlight will hit my cheekbones. My sunglasses and crocheted hat are up in my dormitory, but no matter. I must get on without them. The fate of this lesson depends on my export-tease."
"I am surely a god!" I am pretty certain this is how he ends his diary entries every night.
Ew. "But I am me. Because I was born from my mother. I know this because there are pictures of the whole thing happening when it happened." And why did Draco keep these, may I ask?
This, there are no words, only strange snorts of laughter: "I knock the elf away with a dramatic flourish. I am the director here, minion! Find me some lemon to put in my glass of water! And then fetch me a glass! Also, I would like water in it!"
ANOTHER CAMEO. Also, ew, if this was true, my one true love (cake) would be of no comfort to me anymore when I while away the empty nights, thinking of how I do not have Scorpius with me: " My hair is lustrous. It is like icing on cake if icing was not icing and was hair instead. The girl hurries away and I am positive that she is in love with me."
Sarah, you have surpassed yourself. This is wonderful. Scorpius and I will be married by the time the moon is down, and we want you to be the vicar. I'll be the one wearing the mask, he'll be in nothing but his lavender scarf.Author's Response: HANNAH OMG YOU LEFT ME THESE MONSTER LOVELY AWESOME REVIEWS, HOW DO I RESPOND~
I am not surprised that you have fallen in love with Scorpius. He is a man of many moons and stars, and he looks upon them from his window, with his eyes closed so that he can only see them with his ears, and imagines that they are tiny cauldrons powered by wee little dinosaurs, except not dinosaurs at all, and dragons, and they breathe fire and that is how the sun happens.
Hannah, your cameos are everywhere. Scorpius's love for you is as eternal as the world, and by world I mean whirled, because spinny circles last a long time.
THANK YOU FOR REVIEW BOMBING ME. YOU ARE THE CHEESE TO MY FAMILY OF MICE. ♥ Report Review
Can't see the forest for the trees, eh? Poor Scorpius, cursed with the gift of detail orientation, and yet he finds his introduction to the ground a bit... sudden.
I sort of want to marry Scorpius so that we can waltz and shimmer and practice walking in the corridor. And then, I'd like to punch him in the face.
Great job, Sarah. This seems underrated, and I really loved reading it for the review challenge :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Poor Scorpius is so absorbed with himself that he never sees what's coming next.
lolol shimmering in the corridors. Scorpius will teach you the ways of the Scorp, but only if your hair is lustrous like Queen Frosting from the Candyland board game and your voice sounds like two vultures having a conversation about politics and your hands are like boiled potatoes. Those are his prerequisites. As always, they make perfect sense.
Underrated, bahaha. I'm not sure if many people can stomach five chapters of endless nonsense. I applaud you for slogging through it! Thank you for stopping by to read and review. :) Report Review
Oh, dear. How can Rose resist? After all, he was almost kind enough to remind her to use her inside voice. Who knows what could have happened?
I don't know how this happened (seriously, how many boxes of Nerds did you eat per chapter?) but I love it. I'm excited for the thrilling conclusion.
Before I move on, a piece of advice - careful with those Nerds. Just ask diabetic Draco about sweets.
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Nerds bahaha. This story took forever to finish because I can only write chapters when I'm in just the right mood - probably after a combination of coffee and cocoa puffs. This is the only story I've ever written where I don't edit anything and I don't tweak anything that comes out. I just let my fingers fly. I'll miss being able to get away with that.
Diabetic Draco is the poster child for over-consumption of Nerds. Report Review
I think this is the first time I have ever happily followed a next-gener on his or her merry train of only-vaguely-related thought rather than think to myself about how much it annoys me to lose the plot. Well done.
Diabetic Draco. Haha. Too many sweets, Narcissa!
"This is madness! I am no longer blond!" /dead
What's this? Scorpius and Rose engage in witty banter, consisting of attempts at flirtation and futile measures of resistance? How unexpectedly original! (Though I expected it from you, really.)
More, more! Chapter four!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Plot lol what is that. Scorpius's plot is his beauty and infinite wisdom.
That's what Draco gets for rubbing his hampers of sweets from Narcissa into everyone else's faces in his school days.
Scorpius has his priorities tied up in a neat little bow.
I'm not even sure if that's really Rose talking or if Scorpius is just imagining it. She might not even be there at all. He could be standing there talking to a mop.
:D Report Review
I love how the Quidditch game goes on even though Scorpius is out busting a move on the grass. Nice. Clearly the denizens of Hogwarts are used to him.
Scorpius kind of reminds me of myself when I steal my husband's Nerds at the movie theater and forget that I'm not supposed to eat the whole box. Is that a bad thing?
Draco was surprised? Ahahaha. Interesting.
One more thing - I love your transitions. It's like he's completely shocked to experience scene changes, and yet he adapts so well. Such skill.
Chapter three awaits! -sparkles-
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Bahaha. For all we know, he wasn't even on the Quidditch pitch at all, and he was just in the prefect's bathroom or something, employing his imagination to make himself believe he was in the middle of the pitch.
Eating Nerds and becoming Le Scorp can only serve to broaden your mind. EMBRACE IT~
I think that Scorpius's brain just shuts off sometimes, and when he comes to he's somewhere else, so he's learned to go with the flow.
XD Report Review
Sarah! I'm reviewing this for TGS Review Challenge #6 :) (I've been meaning to for a while, though.)
Oh my. Scorpius. I've seen him portrayed every which way but it's oddly refreshing to see him don his arrogance and Malfoyish nature like a king's robe. I really love the contrast between how smart he thinks he is and how foolish he actually sounds.
I had no idea, until I helped judge the Parody duel, that you were so good at crackfic! This is truly hilarious and just as good as your Cho/Cedric.
I could mention favorite lines, but no. Too hard.
On to the next!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Amanda!! Hi!
Crackfic is one of my favorite things ever, ranking right up there with chocolate-covered almonds and fuzzy kittens wearing sunglasses. I love Scorpius in all of his forms - sophisticated, humble, witty, shy, arrogant, wallflower. My favorite version to write him is when he's delusional and slightly insane. There's something liberating in writing over-the-top characters who just do absolutely whatever they want without any explanation or regard for being understood. XD
Thanks for choosing this story for the TGS review challenge! Report Review
He just keeps talking and talking and it's making a lot of sense to me haha
I love him so much, I just want to hug him when he says some of the things he does, like thinking that snow is powdered sugar.
What?! When I was eight years old I was finally born? I choked on my drink at that one haha
I love that Draco left on a buisness trip two years ago, I wonder what it's like for him to have a son like Scorpius?
I did love this story, I can't believe he jumped off of the roof though haha, Thank you so much for writing this story, it's made me feel so happy!
You done a wonderful and brilliant job :-DAuthor's Response: Scorpius could listen to himself talk for days. XD And snow could totally be powdered sugar. Maybe Scorpius is the only one who lives in the real reality and we're all the delusional ones in our alternate universe, and the snow really is powdered sugar but only Scorpius knows it, and he's all alone in his gifted wisdom.
So, so pleased you enjoyed this story! It was a blast to write, so I love that it made someone else just as happy. :) Report Review
I love that both Molly and Rose have talked like Scorpius does, I can't tell if they actually speak like that, or he's making up the words in his head haha.
What? He's duelling with a broom? haha only Scorpius! and the fact that he yelled "crushio"
It's amazing that Mrs Norris was his second in the duel :-D Another brilliant and hilarious chapter!Author's Response: lol I'm pretty sure Scorpius is just making up everyone's dialogue in his head. I had a bit of a Scott Pilgrim vs The World whizzing around in my brain while writing that.
Mrs. Norris would make a very good second. She could meow and glare a lot, and intimidate lots of foes. :3 Report Review
“My father has never eaten death in his life. He is diabetic. How dare you!” This has got to be my favourite line ever!
Just when I think I've read the funniest chapter, you write more amazingness! I love love love Scorpius and Rose fighting and the fact that Scorpius said neigh, this time out loud.
Bless him, he believes such ridiculous things! I think if I went to Hogwarts I could just follow him all day and be entertained.
Oh my I can't believe he's now a kitty and is more worried about posing then the fact that he's a kitty hahaha and saying that Mrs Norris needs to let it go because she's old.
Words can't describe how amazing this is and how amazing you are! :-DAuthor's Response: Bahaha, I think that in this whole story, that was my favorite line as well. I've always found the term 'Death Eaters' to be mildly hilarious. It's supposed to be dark and intimidating, I suppose, but seriously, that combination of words. lol. Death Eaters.
If I went to Hogwarts I would be the girl he hired to blow wind in his hair, just to follow him around and listen to his monologues.
Scorpius looks fab in kitty stripes. XD That Sexy And I Know It song was basically written for him. Report Review
he's dancing with someone who's trying to run away from him! THIS IS BRILLIANT!!
He's so delusional and full of himself and I love him for it!
Theif of facial hair! You are so amazing! I am literally cracking up with laughter with every sentence of this story.
I absolutely adore the fact that he's dancing in the middle of the Quidditch pitch!
How did you come up with this amazing story? it's pure brilliance!Author's Response: SCORPIUS DANCES WITH EVERYONE, WILLING PARTNERS OR NOT.
My favorite kind of people are the delusional kind. They're such great value. Scorp is so over the top but that's my favorite character to write. He's kind of cartoonish. XD
So pleased to hear that this made you laugh! That's my favorite kind of response. :) Report Review
oh my this is so hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing!
The way you wrote this was just pure brilliance! I could just imagine him doing everything in my head, and that whole hamster thing had me giggling.
My favourite part was when he was running down the corridor and told the other students to run and so they did as well without knowing why.
I seriously can't stop laughing at him, he's just so brilliant! and you are brilliant for writing him :-DAuthor's Response: Yay! I am to please. :D
lol his hamster spiel. Scorpius's sage mind knows no bounds. It's so boundless that it's out of bounds. But he comes back to the bounds eventually because it was always bound to happen~
Thank you so much for these wonderful reviews, and for reading Le Scorp!
:) Report Review
this is way too funny to be allowed :'D
it just made me laugh so hard, especially as it is late at night and I have nothing better to do than to giggle insanely and randomly. Good job :)
Ps. I'm crazy... 37 XD
nonsenese = my language.
Thanks for making me laugh in the middle of the night ;)Author's Response: Heehee, glad you liked it! I shall miss writing about the wonder that is Le Scorp; I'm quite fond of him.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I had a really bad day today but when I found this story it made me so much happier :D
Usually Quidditch games are spent in the kitchens, teaching the elves how to dance. They enjoy clapping the most, but we are beginning to learn twirls. I like to wear my green fedora when we do this, as I look good in pinstripes (and it makes me ultra classy)."
I think you are my new hero :DAuthor's Response: I'm so glad to hear that this helped make your day a little bit brighter! I always read when I need a pick-me-up.
Aww, thanks. :) Report Review
This whole chapter was pure gold. Scorpius is so freaking hilarious. Even coming up with something like this your writing is incredible! :P The things you have come up with! That whole part about days and nights...oh wow..Scorpius.
A few of my favourite lines! ♥;
"My wand isn't silver, which does not compliment my hair with beautiful haikus, so I ignore it."
"I am having a change of heart. I feel my heart changing, probably to an oval shape so as to make room for my various gallbladders."
"My narrator is currently engaging in the vanishing act of chocolate pancakes and she wants to inform my fans that they are delicious." Delicious pancakes eh? ;)
"And by carbs I mean carbon monoxide."
"...thank you for the medicine that gives me my mother's jeans and not my father's, which never fit..." JEANS. OH MY. Wear the jeans Scorp.
HE SHAVES ONE ARMPIT. LOL. YOU'RE REEEAL COOL SCORP.
THE AGE STUFF. OH MY GOSH. I WAS BORN WHEN I WAS EIGHT TOO ~ WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
ARM-Y! I'll have to use that now~
"The plural form of this is wool." I BURST out laughing so hard at this point. WOOL. The genius.
THE WHOLE SINGING SECTION.
"I have landed in a rave!"
"The branches are trying to hug me. I have not given them permission to defile me with their bark!"
"Professor Sprout's eyes are large. I make mine larger. She cannot win this duel!"
"'Yowl' is one letter away from 'owl'."
Gah. Sorry for the inundation of writing that you have already seen. I kept going to add so many quotes...until I realised I was going to end up quoting the entire story which is completely pointless :P
I would never have thought someone could describe a fall like that - the fact he didn't even realise he was falling *facepalm*
I also love the way you changed the words ever so slightly (like graduate/granulate and literally/literaturely), that type of thing!
Sorry for my random caps-locking ;) I should sleep :o
All I can say is that I honestly hope I never meet someone like this. Or if I do, I talk to them for a few moments of hilarity...and then they disappear into Scorp-land. Fabuloso story! ♥Author's Response: SO MANY QUOTES, YAYYY ♥
Seriously, I love this review. I love knowing exact bits that people liked. :)
If I ever met someone like Scorpius, I would probably force him into a chair and make him narrate every single one of his thoughts, and I would record it. And whenever I was going about my business on an average day, if someone were to annoy me I would pull out my tape recorder and play Scorpius's monologue until they went insane.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!!! Report Review
I love it! This is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read. :)Author's Response: Le Scorp thinks you are one of the most awesome reviewers ever. Fact. :D
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
If it were real, my eyes would be squares instead of cylinders, like the shape of the wind.
^ HOW POETIC.
gives me my mother's jeans and not my father's, which never fit, I look at the ground again.
^ HAHAHAHA. I can't stop crying from laughter. Why does this have to end?!
This is why I only have to shave one armpit.
^ Err.men...shaving armpits...well...no wonder he fits into his mother's jeans.
Oh you're wonderful. This story has made me laugh from the first chapter to the very end. I need to go read everything over again and laugh at his nimble hips and randomosity.Author's Response: Le Scorp is like the Shakespeare of his day. He can't help it that he is such an artist with language.
Smooth armpits enable him to swim faster while he's playing Quidditch in the rain.
Heee, glad I could oblige! Scorpius and his nimble hips thanks you for reading and for your lovely reviews. :) Report Review
OH MY GOD! I LOVE HIS OMNI-IMPOTENCE!
There are no words for the awesomeness that is Scorp. Le Scorp, to be exact (since he takes such pride in always being exact).
Scorp is the true savior of the world. Meow meow meow meow meow (that means he is god for sharing his genius with the world- a true sacrifice).
TRUE AMAZINGNESS IN WRITING!Author's Response: HAAA, THANK YOU. ♥
Le Scorp is exact - so exact, in fact, that he is specifically exact, always. All of the time, 98 percent of the time.
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow (that means thank you for reading and for leaving an awesome review).
:D Report Review
I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS STORY.
Scorpius is like fabulousity to the extreme. I bow in your prescence.Author's Response: Scorpius is so fabulous that he fell off a horse, forgot to be fabulous, and was still fabulous, anyway.
THANKS FOR READING! :D Report Review
god i love this story is so much it's not even real. you are my favorite person in the world 5evr soroh because you write le scorp and le scorp is obviously like a religious text of some sort that is filled with le scorp's thoughts and feelings and musings about life that are eggs-is-tent-shawl and speak volumes about the oppressive society that holds back the winners like scorpius. because scorpius is most definitely a winner. he is a winner of all things that can have a winner.
ily!Author's Response: Oroco, I love you so much it isn't even real. Le Scorp is indeed a religious text; I stole it from this tribe in the Caribbean who wore coconuts for hats and flashed their teeth at people as Le Scorp is apt to do. Scorpius is a winner 4 lyf and everyone else is just jelly, and by jelly I mean the kind you eat with a fork. They turned into jelly because Scorp stared at them too long with his smoldering gaze.
ILY ♥ Report Review
"Meow!" she says. But really it does not sound that way to me because I am a child of the meow language, very fluent of course. A love child. And Mrs. Norris is saying: "Yo. Wassup?"
This is the funniest story I have ever read! Scorpius lives in his own little bubble. This story made me laugh so hard...update soon :)Author's Response: Scorpius's bubble is a very large and colorful one. It's probably a Drooble's Best Blowing bubble.
Thank you for reading! I'm glad you like it. :) Report Review
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