Reading Reviews for And I Never Looked Back
  
43 Reviews Found

Review #1, by charlottetrips The Epiphany

29th March 2012:
This is now where the action starts! I was so excited to see that you had updated this story. It's got an original context and I love seeing stories where Draco changes and evolves as as character. He's a guy who I saw having the ability to have many layers that weren't able to be fully explored in the books.

Your use of the sarcastic and biting mirror was amusing to read and a good device to get him to realize that he isn't actually William Smith. It seems that he's spent these last eight years running only to realize who he was is always who he has been.

You wrote the emotions well and I could be there with Draco. Skylar also seems like quite a character from the one line we got! :)

Author's Response: Ahhha, thank you so much! This has been put on the back burner right now, sadly enough, but this review has just about motivated me to keep writing. Draco does have a lot of layers-I firmly believe that he will never be an entirely good person, but I think he can change and evolve a lot. Oh, the mirror. *shakes head* I don't know what was in my brain at that moment. It was an epiphany moment for Draco as well.

And Skylar is just FUN.

-Naida


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Review #2, by The Christmas Fairy The Epiphany

24th December 2011:
Ah! Another unreviewed chapter! The Fairy is delighted to fix that for you, Naida. This is exactly what's so fun about being a Secret Santa:-)

And what a chapter! This was fabulous, the best in the story so far. It was a brilliant twist to have Harry pop up, and for Lucius to be murdered was great - I definitely didn't see that coming.

Will/Draco's reaction to the news was perfect - the denial, the anger and the guilt were all very believable. The idea of the talking mirror, and Will/Draco's conversation with it was excellent, probably my favourite passage, and I loved the epiphany that followed. I love the resolve and I think you have set up the plot beautifully.

And finally - that last line was a gem: 'and you are fifty-five seconds late.' Perfect!

That's all from The Christmas Fairy for now, but I'll be back around the next deadline. I hope you enjoy my reviews as much as I have enjoyed reading your stories.

Author's Response: You are the best thing ever. I'm really glad you liked this chapter! It was super fun to write. I had the idea of a dead Lucius first actually, so I knew that this had to happen all along. I'm really glad it was a shock though. And gah, SO glad you think his reaction is believable. Personally, I thought it was extremely melodramatic and overdone, so the conformation on that was lovely. Oh, the talking mirror. Blame my useless brain.

THAT LAST LINE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS I'VE EVER WRITTEN. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

*cough*chapter5isalsoupnow*cough*

Seriously, thank you so much for these reviews.

-Naida


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Review #3, by The Christmas Fairy The Ministry

24th December 2011:
The Fairy likes imaginative description, and therefore particularly enjoyed this chapter. The French Ministry isn't something that The Fairy has considered before, but the idea that is would be on one the the islands in the Seine seems utterly perfect. Picking somewhere that you have actually been and making that where you set your action was a great idea. I know Paris too, I've also been to those islands, and you made it so vivid for me that I could completely picture what you were describing. First class!

I'm glad that Will/Draco finally has a job - I like him a lot more for it, and I'm glad that he's decided to man-up and go back to England. I can definitely see him as a hit wizard, I think this is a great choice of career for him.

I also like the way you write Henri - his accent is done well, and accents are notoriously difficult, so I think you have done a very good job with it.

There were some small inconsistencies, mostly in terms of diction. Pierre describes Will/Draco as very eloquent, when he has actually been anything but, and he is also described as being extremely competent, but at the same time seems to be operating at a level below his peers. I would prefer him to come in and show off all that experience he has learned as a wandering wizard and knock their socks off:-)

However, I think your teaser for the next chapter was excellent. Will/Draco hunting his own father? Genius:-)

The Fairy will not proceed to chapter 4!

Author's Response: This was one of the only times I've drawn from real life in the story, so I'm really glad you liked the imagery! The French people are so arrogant and proud that their entrance to the Ministry would just have to be somewhere huge, and the Eiffel Tower was a bit over the top, so the islands of the Seine were perfect! And I'm so glad that you thought the decriptions were vivid. Seriously, HUGE compliment right there.

Well, it certainly took him long enough to get a job :P Actually, I got the idea of him not having a proper job because it doesn't seem like Lucius does either. A bit of daddy-son resemblance there. And thank you for the compliment on Henri's accent! It's one of the most annoying things to remember, but I like it all the same. And I shall definitely go in and look at those inconsistensies you pointed out! Thank you, dear!

-Naida


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Review #4, by The Christmas Fairy New Places, New Faces

24th December 2011:
The Fairy liked this chapter - an insight into 8 years of Draco/Will's life as an itinerant Hit Wizard for hire. Well, sort of for hire:-) This sort of chapter is difficult to write, looking back over a long period of time, and at times it felt a little disjointed, but the flowed nicely, and left me keen to know more.

Your description of the life of an Auror and the toll it might take mentally was interesting, and give the Fairy food for thought for her own WIP... which is a tiny little hint to The Fairy's identity:-)

But The Fairy digresses! The characterisation of Draco/Will is interesting - still living off Mummy and Daddy, not working for a living, and yet applying himself to learning a skill. The Fairy is also deeply suspicious of Odette! But Henri is a cutie. The Fairy hopes for good things for Henri.

We also had a cliff-hanger to close - what can the French Ministry want? Intriguing!

The Fairy spotted one little typo: 'I had to run terrifies' should be 'I had to run terrified'

Author's Response: Thank you, Sophie! Yes, this was an entertaining chappie to write. I shall take a look at that typo and the flow as well. And I'm really glad that this gave you a spark of inspiration as well ^_^ I've always thought that being an auror seemed a bit too easy in the books, so I wanted to give my fresh spin on that.

I really wanted Will/Draco to retain some of the Draconess. I mean, he can't do a complete 180. I really dislike stories like that. Henri is adorable, isn't he? I love writing him. In fact, if I had to date one character in all my stories, it'd totally be him. And as for Odette, why are you suspicious? Haha, I just think it would be interesting to know.

Thank you again!

-Naida


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Review #5, by The Christmas Fairy Prologue

24th December 2011:
Merry Christmas, Naida! The Fairy has returned with part 2 of your Secret Santa gift, to review And I Never Looked Back!

This is a very intriguing idea - Malfoy leaving home and starting a new life with a new identity. The Fairy enjoyed this first chapter, and is looking forward to reading more!

Draco's confusion, and the maelstrom of conflicting emotions he feels in the aftermath of the battle, are very nicely expressed, as is his growing clarity.

The Fairy thinks that there are some small issues that a clean-up read would easily fix. You slipped between present and past tense on occasion (for instance, paragraph 3 starts 'I walked' and paragraph 4 includes 'are undergoing trial'), and the timeline was a little muddled - Draco starts the chapter walking through the castle, and then he is lying in the grass without explanation of how he got there.

But, these are simple things to correct, and The Fairy is very happy to move on to the first chapter proper!

Author's Response: I AM HERE AT LAST.

Thank you sooo much! I'm really glad you liked the prologue. It was one of the rare chapters I actually managed to write all in one go and post it on the same day, soo, I didn't do much editing (hence the errors-shall fix those ^_^) I love writing angst and emotions, (couldn't you tell :P) so I'm glad you loed that. And as I said before, I will take a look at the timeline and those errors!

-Naida


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Review #6, by StEpH_M The Ministry

5th October 2011:
YAY! A NEW CHAPTER!
I loved the first two and this one is just as amazing! He excepted the job and is now apart of the french ministry, that's really awesome. I also like how you make him use the starts it was so funny to read that part, that he is this big bad hit wizard who is scared of an elevator. It really gives more depth to the new Draco, and makes him seem even more like a normal, average male that hadn't been through the traumas of the Second Wizarding War.
“Henri? Are you feeling okay? You actually had… a good idea.” this cracked me up so much! Even in my extremely tired state I was laughing. Got me in trouble as well, but I found it such a good line. I like how Henri's and Draco's friendship is continuing to develop, I really like the duo.
Draco is going back to England? That's really big and I am so excited to see what happens! So many things are running through my head, it's just a really good, yet slightly aggravating cliffhanger, I just want to know more!
Your writing still as usual is smooth and really good. It's really easy to follow and I love reading your stories because it's such a good style to read.
Please write more of this Story!

Author's Response: Awww, you're the sweetest! Thank you, hun! I'm so glad you found this funny. I FAIL at humor, so I can't believe you actually think my attempts work xD And Draco is about to change...just saying :P You give me the best compliments! Thank you SO SO much!!!
-Naida


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Review #7, by megan2u The Ministry

29th September 2011:
And here comes the suspense and storyline! Yay! Can't wait to see what happens next with Dra -er- Will ;)
This chapter is much more in line with the quality of writing I've come to expect from you (very high), and I'm guessing the last chapter was written quickly and not edited enough. I'm hooked on this story now, can't wait to see what you do next! :)

Author's Response: Yay! Thanks! I liked this chapter a ton better too, tbh. It made me so happy to hear that you like my writing! Thanks again for the AMAZING reviews you've left me. They're all so helpful, even if that help is just an ego boost xD I'm super excited about the plot I have planned for this, and I hope it lives up to your expectations!
-Naida


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Review #8, by megan2u New Places, New Faces

29th September 2011:
I've noticed a big difference in this chapter from the other work of yours I've read, there seem to be many changes in tense that comes across as awkward to the reader, as well as less action/plot in the chapter. This is probably just because with one shots you have to tell the entire story in a shorter amount of time, and with a WIP you need to build up to the story. I will say I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen with this story, but I'm expecting a baby Scorpius to be born soon, since 19 years later he's ready to attend Hogwarts! This review isn't meant to discourage you in any way, as it is still free of spelling mistakes and the story is intriguing, I'm just pointing out that it's not as strong as your previous works and maybe requires a Beta or some more proofreading for grammar.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for this! I absolutely love getting crit, and it makes me so glad that you've done that. The changes in tense actually come as a surprise to me. I didn't realize I was doing that, but I'll definitely go through and fix those! :) The story isn't canon compliant though, so no Scorpius xD I think this chapter is more of an intro for me, since this is a novel length story, which is why it's not quite in the style of my one shots. Thanks for all the crit though! I'll definitely be going through and proofreading :)
-Naida


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Review #9, by megan2u Prologue

29th September 2011:
Really like the idea behind this story, and love all the emotions you imparted into such a short chapter! William Smith is a perfectly ordinary name, from Draco Malfoy to William Smith, pretty extreme! One little error I'd fix is to change it from "Wizard world" to "Wizarding world", which seems to flow better. Onto Chapter 1 to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really loving all the reviews from you! Make me smile :D And thanks for pointing out that error. I'll fix it ASAP!
-Naida


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Review #10, by charlottetrips The Ministry

26th September 2011:
I am so excited to see more of this story! I'm actually really liking how you're portraying Draco and this is an aspect of him I'm liking--hard-working, dedicated and very aware of his flaws but also warm at the same time (at least to Henri).

Your beginning paragraphs about his walk to the Ministry and the importance of the day were nicely done and set the mood for Draco's frame of mind to getting this job.

Loved how you did the entrance to the French ministry! How funny that you'd use that ice cream place!! You must remember the name in case I ever (but probably not) go to France!

"It was no fault of hers, really, but I felt as though she intruded upon the bond me and Henri had formed." - Ha! She's getting in the way of their bromance. :)

Oh, it's getting so interesting now!! You're sending him back to England! Eep! What is everyone going to think?? And what is that whole Lucius Malfoy thing!?!?!?! Gah!!! The waiting!!

A very well-written chapter and it's my fave too of this story! :)

xChar

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you like how I'm portraying Draco. I'm trying to strike a balance between old and new Draco, so it's great to know that it's coming through. Those opening paragraphs were surprisingly fun to write, so i'm glad to know the evoked the mood! Haha, yeah, it was kind of a BAM moment for me when I used the ice cream place. I'm terrible with names though, unfortunately.
Draco and Henri do have a lovely bromance...if I wrote slash, it would be so much fun to pair the two xD
And this is where the plot thickens...so glad you're excited! :D And hopefully the next chapter won't disappoint! Thanks again
-Naida


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Review #11, by MileyMalfoy Prologue

15th September 2011:
Hi! It's Miles from the forums with your review.

I like the way you did this, had Draco actually showing emotions and deciding to be a better person. I also really like that he seemed to feel guilt about what was going on and about the fact that he hadn't actually been punished but in a way was still getting punished (I'm not sure if that makes sense...)

I really liked your characterization of him, how he was going to go somewhere where Voldemort and his followers hadn't been well known and change himself to make a new life. I also liked the imagery of the fire and the ashes. It's lovely to think of him as having the same ability as a Phoenix, to rise from the ashes of a fire that could very well destroy you.

Great job! Going to read on now.

~ MileyMalfoy ^^

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The review really made me smile, and you touched on all the things I love to hear about! Thanks again! :D
-Naida


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Review #12, by Woodrow Rynne Prologue

11th September 2011:
Just one word comes to mind after reading this- wow. Seriously. Okay, I know it's just the prologue, but you've written it so well! I envy you, truly. :P The feelings of Draco were really hard-hitting; I really could imagine him feeling that way- the guilt and everything. Yet, not many people describe him that way after the wall, so I'm all the more impressed. :)

The beginning was brilliant. A perfect way to start a story! And the best part- the ending. Good endings to chapters really matter to me, and I think you did a wonderful job. :)

In short, I really, really loved this. And I haven't got anything to critisize :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Wow, to know that somone envies me is probably the best compliment I could hope for. I really wanted to show something diferent of post war Draco, because I don't think he could change that easily. And I'm glad that came through. Thanks for the amazing review!

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Review #13, by Roots in Water The Ministry

10th September 2011:
Oh my gosh! I love this! I think that your beginning was fabulous- I loved the fire metaphor and how you used it to describe Draco's change. You managed to cover a lot in just under 2000 words- his feelings immediately after the battle, his regret & fear, his determination to change... It was all beautifully done.

You have a really interesting plot and a great style of writing. I think it was a great idea for Draco to get away from England and his former self- it was so true that he would constantly be judged for being a Death Eater and supporting the Dark side, no matter if he had been pardonned or not. I think he chose an interesting career, one that truly shows how much he's changed.

I found the Auror mentality you mentioned very interesting. Of course there would be an effect to living a lifetime of danger and experiencing the many horrors involved in battle on a regular basis. I can't even imagine what that would be like.

As well, you're progressing your plot very well. He has to go back to England. He has to face his past... What will happen? It's very intriguing! And your preview is great- will Draco potentially have to charge his own father with a crime?

All in all, I'm really enjoying your story. Keep updating!

Author's Response: Wow, you actually read all three chapters! Thank you! I really wanted to make a statement with the prologue, so I'm glad that came through. It makes me incredibly happy when anyone tells me they like this, so thank you so much!
-Naida


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Review #14, by SexyDoorFrames Prologue

10th September 2011:
Hello! I hope you're okay. This was also a really interesting start. It was brilliant! It drew you in straight away. It's just so fitting with everything that happened that he'd be like this. You have a really good talent for writing Draco, he can be a really tricky character to write within fanfiction. This was a really good. You are also a brilliant writer, your writing is fluid and natural. It also reads well and the flow is excellent. I really enjoyed this! It was an excellent start!

- SexyDoorFrames

Author's Response: *squeals* You're too sweet! Thanks so much for all the praise! It means the world to me that you like how I wrote Draco, and how I write in general. I'm blushing so much right now...Thankyouthankyouthankyou!! :D
-Naida


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Review #15, by ravenclaw_princess The Ministry

9th September 2011:
Yahoo...I get to review one of your stories again.

I really enjoyed this chapter. There was a vulnerability in Draco that really came through. He isn't yet healed from everything and I get the distinct impression he has been trying to run away from it. And now he's going back to England, but it isn't going to solve his underlying fear and resentment of his old life, all it will do is show how good he is at living a lie.

I loved all your descriptions of Paris and your entrance to the Ministry was quite ingenious. I really felt I was there, especially with the continual french accent in all the dialogue. I imagine that is not easy to write.

The plot may not have progressed too far in this chapter, but there was a lot of Draco's characters shown which pulled it all along. The chapter was left at a very good point though because I want to know what is taking him back to England.and then there was you're sneak peview...very intriguing.

One question I do have though is what is the difference between a hit wizard and an auror? I got the impression that a hit wizard was more of an undercover, secret, black ops sort of dark wizard catcher who did what had to be done any way you could, but from this chapter, it kind of sounded like they were just like aurors. It may be in the first chapter and I've just forgotten, but if not, you may want to define the difference in one of these first few chapter.

As usually, the chapter is written very well and there were no spelling or grammar issues that I saw. Awesome job. I eagerly await the next chapter :)

Author's Response: I really do love your reviews! They're always full of content, which I love reading and taking into account :D
You're spot on about Draco's character. He definitely has been just pushing the fear and resentment down, but all of that's about to change ;)
I'm so glad you liked my description of Paris! I've been studying French for 4 years now, so that really helps me write the dialogue and such, but it's good to know that it was appreciated!
I never even thought of making a bigger point to highlight the difference between a hit wizard and auror. It made so much sense in my head :P I'll definitely make sure to go into that a bit next chapter. Short form though, and this is my personal distinction more than anything else, I've pictured hit wizards as more of the detectives who go out and get the evidence of the case, and arrest the criminal if it isn't too serious. Aurors are more of the FBI to me, who deal with really serious criminals, and their job is primarily to catch them.
Thanks again for the amazing review! :D
-Naida


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Review #16, by lizmusic45 The Ministry

7th September 2011:
Why are you amazed this is wonderful! I'm really shocked that I like this story so, so, much!

I feel like waiting for the next chapter is going to kill me.

I loved this chapter, as I loved the other ones. I can't want for the next chapter!

Lizmusic16

Author's Response: NO DONT DIE! :P I'll try and get it up fast! I can't believe that you like my little work of a story. Thank you! It was amazing for me to get these reviews!

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Review #17, by lizmusic45 New Places, New Faces

7th September 2011:
I love this story, I think I'm might just add it too my favorites. I really love how you write Draco, and his french friend.

You do a really good job. Draco is believable, the plot is great, you have wonderful grammar. I could go on, and on you are amazing!

Really good job!

Lizmusic16

Author's Response: Well, as if my ego needed to be inflated any further XD Thank you so much! I'm really really really glad you like it!

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Review #18, by lizmusic45 Prologue

7th September 2011:
You write Draco so perfectly! I love Draco like this, I normally hate Draco's character when's he's all like "I've changed" but this was really good, I'm actually surprised.

I don't normally touch after war Draco stories, but this was really good! I'm kind of sitting in here in shock.

I knew you were a good writer, I just didn't know that you wrote Draco so well.

Really, really good! 20/20

Lizmusic16

Author's Response: You really are too sweet! I'm so glad that I could make you like a post war Draco. TBH, I don't typically read much of that either. Writing this story was a challenge for me. So it's really amazing to hear that I could make you like it! Thank you so much!
-Naida


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Review #19, by ravenclaw_princess New Places, New Faces

4th September 2011:
What a lovely continuation of this story. I like how it jumped in time so much to show where Draco is today. While a lot of time has passed and he's living a new life, you can still see all of Draco's personality shining through, such as relying on his parents for money (how lazy can you get) and his ambition. He also seems much more suited for a hit wizard than an auror as he would more likely be able to work on his own and not be restricted by the rules so much.

I have a bad feeling about Odette, it all seems just a little too perfectly contrived. I bet she can understand English perfectly...but then I could be complete wrong, I just don't trust her.

The chapter was pretty well written, although sometimes you seem to use full stops instead of comma's which breaks the flow a little bit eg "I had been busy, these past eight years. I traveled all through Europe. From France to Spain to Italy to Romania, and back to France again. And many more after that. I had been to nearly every country in Europe."

Well done on this chapter, I really enjoyed it and I'm quite curious where it's all going and what Odette's agenda is.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I love getting reviews from you because you always give me some crit! I've honestly never noticed the thing with the commas, but I'll definitely pay attention to it now and try and work on it. Thank you!

And thanks for all the compliments as well! I'm so glad that Draco's personality is showing through, and I won't say anything about Odette. Just wait and see :D Thanks again!
-Naida


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Review #20, by FWHPObsessed The Ministry

3rd September 2011:
Ahh, so this chapter was awesome! I'm so glad he's going back to England and he has to work with his father!!! Well that's going to be interesting. Can't wait 'till you update, I hope it's soon!! I really like Henri, I know a person called Henry and I can't help but imagine them as the same person which just makes me like him even more!!!
Will be reading the next time you update, keep up the amazing writing!

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much! I'm blushing red right now! And about his father-there's a twist coming that way. I won't tell you what, but I hope you like it! Thanks for the review!
-Naida


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Review #21, by AC_rules The Ministry

3rd September 2011:
THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh. I really want to read more now. I love clever plots and Draco running away and then having to crawl back? Beautiful. I've got such wonderfully high hopes for this

*adds to favourites*

I think this is the last time we CAN go back and forth, by the way - I don't think there's anything left of yours that I haven't reviewed. You should update this and Impentrable so I can :)

Update soon! I really want to read more :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The plot does get much heavier...I'm excited to post the next chapter! (It's currently about 1/4 of the way done). I'm so glad you like it!

My Impenetrable muse seems to have gone on vacation D: *lures with cookies* But I'll try and get an update on that soon too!

Thanks so much again! Your reviews mean the world to me!


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Review #22, by AC_rules New Places, New Faces

3rd September 2011:
Draco is really frustrating me. I suppose thats a good thing as it means you've got his character right, but his complete lack of guilt at leaving the country starting a new and ditching his parents really irritates me. He's so... wow, I can't even think of a word.

Its good though, me being irritated by him, because it means you've got me involved. So don't take that as insult or anything. I'll be back to R & R the next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Yes! Mission accomplished! I'm so glad Draco's annoying you. Even though I'm writing him, I still hate the git :P Thanks again for the review! (I love how we're going back and forth XD)
-Naida


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Review #23, by AC_rules Prologue

3rd September 2011:
This is a really intriguing start! It seems fitting that Draco still isn't brave enough to face the consequences of his actions and is still managing to find a way to run away from everything.

I really like the fact that he'd rather be punished than to be innocent and free, although I reckon he'll be glad he's not in azkaban soon enough.

Anyway, really good chapter! Can't wait to read some more :)

- AC

Author's Response: Thank you, dear! It's always lovely to get reviews from you, becase you always shower me with compliments I don't deserve :P I hope you'll read on! :D
-Naida


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Review #24, by GracieBagel Prologue

19th August 2011:
Woah this is intense. :) I love it. Your opening was absolutely brilliant. The whole tone immediately draws you in - it was perfect. Incase you didn't get my reply from the review you left on my story I'll write here - I wanted to say thankyou so much!! I never get reviews so it means the world. I wish there was an easier way to talk on this site but ¬¬ Tell me if there is ahah!! I'm a member of TDA but I dont use it that much. One more thing, I need your advise cause you seem like a pretty amazing writer. With my story Still on my Mind, I struggle to keep plots etc. Does extensive planning actually work? Cause im lazy. I'm spontaneous and I certainly don't plan but I'm really reconsidering it ahah. Any tips on how to keep focused?
Thanks a bunch. Once again brilliant stories you have on here. I look forward to reading them :)
-Gracie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliments! They really brighten my day!

There is actually a much easier way to talk on the HPFF forums. They're a great resource center for writing tips, discussions, meeting new authors, and a lot of fun! Come and join us! PM me if you like, I have the same name, and I'd be happy to help, but there really are a bunch of great resources there to help you. I'll go find your TDA with a link if I can :)

Thanks again!


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Review #25, by charlottetrips New Places, New Faces

8th August 2011:
I love skipping forward in time! :) Saves so much unnecessary blather about things we (the readers) don’t need to know. There’s always the good ol’ flashback or memories to fall back on!

“…and I had to run [terrifies] into the bathroom to renew the spells.” – [terrified]

I like that Draco recognizes that there is something in him that is just not Gryffindor. When someone writes Draco as being this all-out hero all of a sudden, I can’t connect because it is too OOC, no remnant of the person JKR had carefully written out. I don’t think fanfiction should stray so far from canon so as to be unrecognizable which is what some do with Draco. (They should just write original fiction then.) I like that you pay respect to that.

“…enjoying the [presence] company once more before I left again.” - [present]?

“My [grinned] widened.” – [grin]

Still the spoiled brat, I see. Again, keeping that part of Draco we know that he has mellowed out considerably (using Muggle money?).

The interaction between Draco and his friend was written well and I could tell that they’d been friends for years. Having a new person there between them definitely would introduce awkwardness and I liked how you didn’t ignore it.

I totally hate it when foreign language people speak their language in front of me (the non-foreign language person) even though they could speak English. It’s annoying! I, unlike Will/Draco, would totally have made a snide remark.

A few errors as above but easily fixed with a quick once-over.

I hope Draco isn’t going to cheat with Odette. I think that she’s setting him up. You have foreshadowed it!!

charlottetrips [Ravenclaw]

Author's Response: First of all, thank you so much for the review!
Yeah, I didn't want to write a bunch of filler stuff, and I definitely didn't want to drag a reader through it.
Draco being OOC is one of my biggest worries in this. It's why I don't read a lot of him. I hope that the old Draco is still coming through, so I'm glad you're seeing that! Mellowing out is one thing, but changing completely is another.
The Muggle money part I only put in because I doubt he'd be able to go to all these places without some interaction with the Muggle world. Mostly because I can't see him staying in a place like the Leaky Cauldron, and if I take most magical "hotels" to be like that, I think he'd prefer the fancier stuff, even if it was Muggle.
The awkwardness and what you're picking up about Odette is important. That's all I'm going to say on that.
I think the foreign language thing doesn't bother me as much because my parents used to do it all the time, when they wanted to talk about me. I got used to it. But it's definitely something to consider!
Thanks again for the incredible review! I'll definitely go through and fix those mistakes, and the review was so perfect! *hugs*
-Naida


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