I really liked how you approached this subject. The characters felt very appropriate considering the time was Middle Ages and people used to be very superstitious back then. It was interesting, that you didn't actually tell us who wanted to murder her. Her admirer? Her parents? Someone else? It keeps story intriguing and now I really want to read the next chapter.

Your description was top notch. I could really feel the night around her when she fleed and your choice of words were excellent considering the theme of the fic. Your writing was very easy to read and I didn't catch any typos around.

All in all, it was an exciting prologue. =) Now all I have left to say is that I'm going to click that next chapter to find about more where she ended up.

By the way, thank you for all your work in the House Cup!

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Another nice chapter, Drecklin! As I mentioned before, look out for typos and other easily fixable things. Such as:

"With the forcer laws being enforced around the country it was illegal for Helena to sell her potions." Forcer is...not a good word here.

You've always been good at keeping action moving in your writing, and it's working well here. Just be careful not to jump topics too quickly. I noticed that happened when you started having Rowena speculate about Helena's one eye. Even a short, "Rowena looked at Helena, her attention drifting over the woman's eye, blah, blah" just to soften the transition might be helpful.

Having skimmed through the prologue (it's been too long for me to remember, lol), I think you might actually be able to get away with cutting it out completely, or adding it to this chapter. In terms of a broader plot, between this chapter and the previous, not much has happened yet, and having TWO background/introductory type chapters may be just a tad excessive. Within each chapter, you're amazing at keeping action flowing, but I'd really like to see (as I expect will happen anyway) more of the greater story coming into play.

Some of this does read as if it was just typed up and then submitted, so I think holding onto it for at least a day (I know, I used to just type and submit too) would be helpful, especially in cutting down seemingly irrelevant details/helping transition scenes together better.

Otherwise, good job and keep up the good work!

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Very interesting chapter. I feel just as confused as Rowena, I think. Who are the men? And who is this Terowin guy? And is the old lady Helena Hufflepuff, or is it just a coincidence?

So many questions, but I have a feeling that they'll be answered soon enough. :)

Author's Response: Oh they will, they will -mysterious-

Thank you for another lovely review!!

-Sarah

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Hmmm, interesting, I like how this story is going. Curious about who those three men, the white haired one and Helena are after all...

Author's Response: :D You will find out in upcoming chapters! And thank you for the lovely review, they always make my day :)

-Sarah

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I can't even begin telling you how excited I am for this story. Even with the prologue, I'm already intrigued. I can't wait to see what you have in store next. :)

Author's Response: Wow this is such a nice review. I am super excited for this story too! An update will be coming soon :) Thank you!

-Sarah

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YAY! You're off to a good start, Drecklin! I hope the person is nice...and not a meanie too! O_O You've got a good pace, and knowing you, I'm sure you'll keep it.

A bit of warning though, after a few days, have another look at your first paragraph. A few of your sentences could be cut for easier reading and better flow.

Beyond that, I look forward to reading the rest!

-Serene

Author's Response: I will definitely do that :) Thank you for the ever lovely review, my friend! I look forward to some more :D Thank you again!

-Sarah

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