Hey there, marissa lily potter here with the review you requested.

I'd like to say that I'm not a fan of crossovers but this one was definitely bearable in my opinion. In fact, I quite liked it. My main concern here are the grammatical errors. When you said "Now they we’re happier than ever." I think you meant "were" not "we're." Also, there are a few comma splices but they can be fixed with a beta reader.

This is a good start to a fic. I like how you set the scene and mentioned most of the characters even if it was only by name. I like how this is going and I think the story has a lot of potential. I'm not a huge LOST fan so I didn't understand the crossover bits, but I definitely know that this story was well writter and that the next chapters will be great.

Good work with this first chapter. First chapters are the hardest to write but yours was done great! I liked how you kept the canon characters and their personalities, but made them work with your own fic. I love being able to hear about Ginny but not actually see her or get her named. Great work!

-marissa lily potter

Author's Response: I'm glad you thought it was bearable and you liked it! I'll definitely think about getting a beta.

This really isn't a complete crossover. It's simply borrowing an idea from the final season that confused many people. If you are confused - good! That's what I was aiming for!

First chapters are the worst, I completely agree. I love AU fics, where I can change everything and still make it relevant.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review