Love it! You should totally finish the story even though it has only 3 chapters because I read too quickly!Author's Response: Sorry, I just don't have the inspirations for this story. It's probably going to stay abandoned. Though if you check out my other stories, some of the Marauder ones are quite similar to this!
Thanks for the lovely review though,
Emma xx Report Review
I love it and i really want to know what happened in the detention, even if you have to email it to me. PLease don't abandon this, it's so emotional. This chapter was so revealing of her character and for once i actually like the real evil side to the marauders. please continue xxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it but you can see why I abandoned in my last few responses. Report Review
I like this story. Please continue it. For me? :(Author's Response: Thanks! I might continue it in the distant future but now I just have no idea's... Report Review
This story should not be abandoned. I don't even care that I'm reviewing an abandoned story. It was amazing. You handle bullying storylines so well. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! The reason I abandoned this was it just didn't have the spark and I had no idea's. It wasn't working for me. But I am glad you like it! Report Review
HI THERE! :) soo, I have to say, I really like this story! all the issues with her family make the story kinda interesting. and I love sirius in it:) I love sirius period. he's amazing. SO AMAZING. such a babe. and james is pretty funny too. remus hasn't been in it enough yet to really tell if I'm going to like him or not. I think I will, but you never know. hmm, let's see...oh! tiffany is such a turd. and heather is too. turds. :P they need to go fall into a ditch. please.
there are just a few things I think you could change or just keep in mind when you're writing in the future...but I don't want to offend you, just making suggestions.
-try to be careful with how often you repeat stuff in your story. for me, it got a little boring, I guess, with how often she would repeat comebacks(like with the shoe throwing in the first chapter)
-also, with the comebacks...I feel that for some of her banter with all of the characters, she always replies with comebacks that would take some serious thinking to come up with or something. BUT, that may be what you want it to seem like...in which case just ignore what I just said:P
-and just pay attention to how much you mention her family, because it seems like you are always talking about them. I just think that if she hated them as much as it seems, then she wouldn't be constantly thinking about them, and bringing them up.
-and lastly, I feel like you mention sirius' and james' ego in almost every other paragraph...which you might be trying to do to. I don't know. but just keep that in mind too.
wow. sorry for basically writing the longest review about what I didn't really like in the story. I DO LOVE IT, I SWEAR. I like all of the characters personalities and how the interact with each other and such. and I am totally excited to read more of this! I even told my friends to read it, and they liked it too. hahha, please don't hate me for this review, I promise I'm a very fun reviewer(is that a word? maybe?) after I get my initial thoughts out of the way. so BAM. there you go.
I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE:DAuthor's Response: Aaww, thanks xxx I dont mind critisism, only one way to improve! Yeah, I do agree. This is the first chapter and all so I think I need to stop repeating myself a lot. I walways do, you could say its a bad habbit :P. I think I just wanted to get everything agross, sorry for mentioning Tallulah's family too much, I suppose I am just trying to get everything clear to the reader, maybe I am trying too hard.
Remus and Peter will come in a bit more, I guess, I just dont think I needed to mention them in this chapter.
I do agree so much that Tiffany and Heather are both turds. I'm now tempted to make them fall into the lake, it would be a bit more dramatic than a ditch!
Thanks again for the amazing review, I LOVE long ones! Youre amazing for telling all your friends,
Thanks again hon,
Manga_girl Report Review
hello wow Em it is fab. HURRY UP AND GET WRITING!Author's Response: Thanks. Do you want me to email u chapter 2??? I have started chapter 3 and 2 is in the validation que. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection