Slytherin Tag :D
Aw this was a nicely written story. I love your characterizations of Victoire and Teddy, and the idea of them having a divorce. I also liked how you made their points of view quite clear. It flowed well, though I think the end was kind of abrupt. Maybe you should add a little bit more description.
Rest, the story made a good read. Good job!
(aditidraco95)Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked this! Thanks a lot for your review and your very good words:D
I'll try to figure out what exactly it is that the ending is missing:D
~ Angie Report Review
Hello i'm here with the review swap! sorry its taken so long! this is a very unique story and I love that about it! I've never pictured their relationship this way and was intrigued by the idea of it. I think you did a great job telling the story while adding in snippets of past conversations and thoughts to add detail and feeling into the story. I feel so bad for Teddy because he really did love her but she was just in love with the idea of the whole thing and not him. Very sad indeed. you did a great job with it and i like how you tied Daphne into the story and her role in it altogether and how a wizard divorce is different from a muggle divorce. Great job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Oh, hi!
Thank you for all the feedback! I'm really happy to see that you appreciated my story:D
~ Angie Report Review
Okay, let's get started then (:
I really like the plot of this story, the fact that T/V don't end up together after all. They are always the perfect couple, at least in my head, so it's refreshing to read another point of view.
I liked a lot about the fact that you told both sides of the story. I think you managed to give a good description about how they were feeling.
I can easily understand how they ended up in this situation. Many years of friendship so they certainly think they know each other. But as they have never really spent long periods together they are not familiar with the little habits the other one might possess. I can see why things started to go wrong. And with both of them trying to deal with the situation in their own ways and not just sitting down and discussing about it, they are bound to end up on the wrong path.
So if that was the image you were trying to create, then I would say you did an excellent job on that.
Nothing wrong with the flow, it was interesting to read. I maybe would have wanted to hear more about Teddy's side. Even though I think I got his message, he still seemed a bit more distant than Victoire. So I would maybe work on that part a bit.
The ending was good, I liked that they decided to go through with the divorce and not try one more time. A good story doesn't always need a happy ending. But I like it that they can still be civil to each other and try to be friends.
I hope this was helpful and that you didn't get offended by anything because I really do think this was a great and an exceptional story!Author's Response: This is a wonderful review! Why would I be offended? ;)
Yes, in my head they're perfect as well, but I can't write couples I don't like so I had to ruin them to write this:P
I'm so glad you managed to understand what I wanted to say with this story! This makes me feel very successful!
I will have to think about Teddy's side of things... Many people said it would be good if I could write more about him, so I'll try:D
Thank you very much for this review! I really appreciate you taking some time to read my story:D Report Review
Why hello, I'm here with your review!
So it wasn't exactly the expected/ usual ending. Most authors would have written that Teddy and Victoire suddenly fell passionately in love again and that they ran in and cancelled their divorce. But I liked what you did. It makes this story unique. It's a story of two best friends having loved each other and still loving each other when their relationship doesn't work out. It was simple and sweet and was like a breath of fresh air from most, more romantic Teddy-Victoire stories (raises her hand).
It's also bittersweet because Teddy still loves her, which I think makes the reader really have a connection with the characters.
I think you got the plot down pretty well in terms of the dysfunctional couple. I especially liked Victoire's side of the story. Teddy's, though, didn't really hit home for me. I felt as if it was too abrupt- his realising he wasn't good enough. I know Teddy said that he wasn't going to talk about how they fell in love, but I think a little background knowledge on why he loved her would have been nice. It would have connected his explanation with Victoire's nicely.
Also, it was a bit odd to have Victoire seem so calm while explaining to the lawyer why she wanted a divorce and then start crying as soon as she talked to Teddy. Was it bottled up emotions or just because she was happy she had her best friend back?
Other than that, this one-shot was really well done. I especially liked the flashbacks and I think your writing, especially your dialogue was good. Great job!
classicblack from the forumsAuthor's Response: Oh, dear- this one is such a lovely review, and at the same time helpful and constructive.
I'm really glad you liked the ending. I'm usually one for happy endings like you, but this just didn't seem to fit here. I think it would be odd, since in the entire story they explan why they couldn't make it work.
I can see what you say about Teddy's side of things. I'll have to think it through- as every other suggestion you made. Thank you for those, btw- what else are reviews for, if not to help us improve our writing? ;)
Thank you for this; it's extremely helpful.
~ Angie Report Review
Hey! Perelandra here with your review!
This story was sad!
Anyway! The story is very short, however, the way that it's written it gives enough imagery and narration to where it actually works.
I did spot one mistake though. In the part where it says "If a man hasn't what's necessary to make a woman love him," 'hasn't what's' doesn't flow very well with the whole sentence. Perhaps something like "If a man doesn't have what's necessary..." it would really help the flow of it.
Teddy and Victoire always struck me as a couple that didn't really belong together. But then again, all of us have painted our own version of them so we really don't know their personalities. Your Victoire is a very shallow woman and I'm glad that you gave her that type of personality considering that everyone writes all Weasleys as saints.
Victoire's explanation nails the whole feeling of the story and perhaps her excuse of her behavior. She was just in love with love and not Teddy of whom she only always saw as a friend.
Other than that...I suppose that is it! This was definitely a very melancholy story where I don't know if I should ask for a second chapter to see what happens or to leave it at that and let the reader think of their own ending.Author's Response: First of all, thank you for this wonderful review! It's very helpful and constructive:D
I know the story's sad- it saddens me as well. I'm not a big fan of unhappy endings- especially when it comes to pairings I love. Unlike you, I picture Teddy and Victoire together, but it doesn't bother me to ruin them a bit when it comes to writing with a good prompt.
I'm glad you found the characterization good as well! Your words are soothening my worries about this:)
As for the flow, this sentence sounds a bit odd to me as well, but this was my prompt and since it's the exact phrase from the book, I don't think changing it would do me any good;)
Thank you, once again!
Angie Report Review
Soo sad! But meloncholy in the end. Glad they are friends. Great job!Author's Response: Thank you- I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I think this story is absolutely brilliant. I have no idea why this hasn't been reviewed yet - it's such an original, amazingly written one shot. You've characterized Teddy and Victoire marvelously. I'll be keeping an eye for your future stories!
I loved it! Author's Response: Thank you very much!
Sometimes, I think writing is worthy because of words like yours. Report Review
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