Reading Reviews for Cloudburst
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LeMazing Cloudburst: Chapter Three

11th November 2012:
Pretty. :)

I should show that Sirius quote to Sarah!

Author's Response: I am pretty funny, aren't I? ;)

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Review #2, by TenthWeasley Cloudburst: Chapter One

4th March 2012:
Hey! Dropping by with a long-overdue QTR review for you. :)

I adore Severus/Lily stories -- or, really, any stories about Snape in general! -- so clicking on this was a right-away no-brainer for me. And you've written this very well! I love all the emotions that guided each of your characters, especially Lily. You get the sense that she is really hurt by what Severus did, but there's a strength there nonetheless. She's not about to let him walk all over her, and that's how I see Lily, too, so I'm really excited I picked up on that here. Not a lot of people write her that way!

And oh, Severus. ♥ I just want to give him a big hug, because he clearly feels so guilty about what he did. I feel so bad for him. :( And when Lily called him Snivellus in that way, my heart just broke. A part of me does wish she'd forgiven him, made one more excuse for him. Imagine everything that might have happened!

And, as a quick note -- I really just liked the fact it was raining. It set the perfect somber tone for this, and besides that, I always love stories with rain in them. Not sure why. :D It worked well for you here!

I really, really enjoyed this story! And I'm so pleased I got the chance to read it, too -- I just might have to swing back by and read the second chapter. Excellent job here once again!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you for such a kind review! I've really been enjoying writing this story. I actually started working on it again recently! It's only supposed to be four chapters long so I can't believe I didn't finish it in the first place. Dx

I love Lily and Severus stories, myself. I don't see them together, but I do like reading about their friendship and everything that happened with that. It's incredibly sad to write about the end of it.

Thank you again for such a lovely review!


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Review #3, by MyMyMiss Cloudburst: Chapter Two

31st July 2011:
Hello there, I am here to judge your entry!!

Please be aware that it is a very close contest as all seven entries that I had where brilliantly constructed.

“I hate him! I hate him so much!” Lily screamed, tearing up the piece of parchment she had been scribbling on and tossing it on her bedroom floor.
- Did the paper offend her? ^.^ Nah, this was really well presented and I could see her stnading in her room doing this.

People like him killed people like her.
-This was a little sad :( It made me teary.

“Filthy Mudblood. Filthy Mudblood. Filthy. Little. Mudblood.”
- Snap. I'd flip over him!! I'd bite him! :D

Onwards... I really like how you constructed the Poem into both chapters of this story. I'm a little dissappointed that you didn't finish but none the less I am happy with what you have brought to the table, and as I said, not being finished will NOT lessen my thought on your story.

I love how you based the First chapter purely on Lily/Severus. What he had done, and how it affected her and her emotions. You really brought a new side to Lily and Severus to readers. I was rather shocked that I liked this piece as I actually hate mauraders. :P

The Second chapter was just as creative as the first. You showed James and how Lily didn't care for Severus anymore. Also how James made so many feeble attempts to court Lily.

You have a really good piece of writing here and I am glad you took the oppurtunity to take part in my challenge. I hope too see you again in further ones I hold. Please look out for a blog soon confirming the winners of the 10 things I hate Challenge.

~Karni. x

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm pretty sad I didn't finish it before the deadline myself as I had it all planned out, but life got in the way. There are only two more chapters that need to be done, so I hope you'll come back and read those when they're finished.

This story was a lot of fun to write, mostly because it was challenging and I really enjoyed it. I'm glad that you did as well!

Thanks again,


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Review #4, by ravenclaw_princess Cloudburst: Chapter Two

1st July 2011:
This was a really good follow on chapter. Once again, you captured the strained relationship between Lily and Snape really well. I fell sorry for Sanpe because he knows he screwed up really bad, and in some ways he keeps screwing up. I really like how he is trying to revive their friendship. Lily meant to much to Snape to not fight for her.

Lily to is fighting, but she is fighting not to give him a second chance. I kind of feel that Snape only ever shows his true self around her and to every one else he puts on this tough guy act. At least that is how I feel it is coming across and I like it.

James was cool. I liked this line “Not at all, Snape.” This time he said his name with much more force. “I just--oh, I don’t know--actually keep my word? I wouldn’t expect a greaseball like you to understand something as noble as that.” It really seemed to sum up James' attitude towards Lily and he wasn't doing it to impress her, but more to keep a promise.

the chapter flowed really nicely and their was a beautiful level of detail. Grammatically it was also extremely strong. Well done. This is a beautiful story.

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you so much! This was such a lovely, detailed review!

I agree in thinking that Snape wouldn't just give up on her. She was really the only person he was ever close to. It's hard to just let go of something like that even if she is pulling away. Lily I see as someone that, once hurt, doesn't give someone the chance to hurt her again. It's very difficult for both of them.

I really love the way James turned out in this fic. I feel his maturity was a gradual thing that didn't just happen over the summer. He really does care about Lily, he just has a hard time getting his priorities straight sometimes. She's means a lot to him and he's beginning to realize he really would do anything for her--even give up his favourite punching bag.

Thank you again and again for such a lovely review! It really made me smile. :)


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Review #5, by luvlunageorgefred Cloudburst: Chapter Two

21st June 2011:
damn it all. stupid Lily...I'd forgive him!

Author's Response: Haha, well I'm sure it must have been really difficult for her. I don't know if I would have forgiven him if I were her. It's hard to say.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #6, by academica Cloudburst: Chapter Two

20th June 2011:
I think this is the first fic I've read where I really felt Lily's emotions about the Severus situation all the way down to the core, really understood what was going through her head. You illustrated it beautifully, to the point where I (a hardcore Severus fan) actually supported James for a moment there. In other words, an incredible job well done. Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's such a huge compliment. I'm a huge Severus fan myself (even though I love Lily/James). It's been so much fun to write this.

It's always been something I wanted to explore because I honestly can't think of them just never talking anymore. I'm sure they would have had to see each other sometimes.

It's been difficult sometimes to really write that raw emotion, but I'm glad it's come across well.

Thanks again for such a lovely review!


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Review #7, by luvlunageorgefred Cloudburst: Chapter One

18th June 2011:
oh oh oh *dances* I love snape and lily stories! yours is great! I really want to read more! this is more coming yessum? x

Author's Response: Yes, there will be more! I've got 4 chapters planned, and the next one is already written and ready for posting. :D

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Thank you for the review!


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Review #8, by ravenclaw_princess Cloudburst: Chapter One

13th June 2011:
Wow, this is such an emotional chapter. I loved it. You have written Lily really well and captured all of her emotions. You can see how cut up she is, how much she wants to forgive Snape, but just can't let herself, knowing that he will ultimately hurt her again. I love the ending too, it broke her heart to say what she did and that came across well.

Snape was equally well characterised and you could see his apology was sincere, he didn't mean thw words he had said and he wanted his best friend. It was a painfully sad to read and I could feel all of the emotions.

The chapter itself was very well writen and I love the detail and the descritpion that you brought to the story. It was such a lovely read.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

It was an incredibly emotional chapter to write, as well. The story between Lily and Snape always, always makes me sad. Mostly it's the regret he feels that he can never get rid of. It's heartbreaking.

I'm so glad that Lily's torn emotions came across well. She was obviously angry with him, yet he's been her best friend for so long--it's hard to just let that be the end of it.

The same for Snape. I imagine he regretted it the moment he said it, but he couldn't very well take it back. Such a hard thing to have to live with.

Thank you very kindly for this lovely review. It truly made my evening. :)


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Review #9, by AC_rules Cloudburst: Chapter One

12th June 2011:
Lily's pretty angry 0.o

Not that I blame her, she's had a rough ride of it.

I've always imagined that given they lived so close together Severus and Lily must have had some sort of contact in that summer and it strikes me that this is pretty similar to how it would go (although in my head Lily was a little less angry - but this still works really well).

Anyway - A good start! I like the rain and the playground :)

Author's Response: Thank you kindly!

Yes, Lily is quite angry. Though most of that is because she's trying to stop herself from being hurt so she puts it into anger instead.

I'm glad you like it!


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