Cool chapter! I'm starting to really like your story. :) 10/10 for another magnificent addition to the story. Report Review
Pretty good! Even though I've never seen Doctor Who, I'm keeping up pretty well with the story. Great job on this one! 10/10. :DAuthor's Response: Thanks!! I'm glad you're enjoying it, keep checking back chapter 3 is right around the corner. Report Review
ahahaha. oh, i love your Doctor. he's so childish, and friendly, and easily amused... :') that last line just made me smile - such a great response to that classic line. (reminds me slightly of Fred/George, actually :P)
i think maybe you could benefit from a beta? there's quite a few grammar mistakes - not to the point where it's not understandable, but it just takes away a polished appearance from the chapter :') but i'm looking forward to when you get the next few chapters up! getting into the action sounds like a lot of fun, and i'd love to see the progression of Katy (loved the Doctor's name-changing there ahaha) from shy to...uh, dead.
^^Author's Response: Beta needed, got it! Yes grammar is important but I guess I sort of blow it off... Woops. Very Fred and George kind of Doctor that's a very good thing! It wasn't intentionally modeled after them but who knows...
Yes Katy will be undergoing some big changes all starting i chapter 4 so close! Hope you stick around for that! Report Review
i love Doctor Who. i (clearly) love Harry Potter. it's clear i loved this as well!
you have a few issues with spacing, but that's hardly important ;P i love how you've blended the two worlds together, the whole sonic screwdrivers = wands thing and TARDIS = timeturner really works. perhaps if you just padded out the details a tiny bit more, it would stop confusion (although i'm completely exhausted so it might just be me ^^).
i think the line I am the first wizard The Doctor has ever taken and if you are reading this, I am dead was what really pulled me in. it's really...gripping, y'know?
next chapter! ^^Author's Response: Yes it needs a bit more padding, I guess I wrote as if everyone knew what Doctor Who was. I will add more into that so thank you, after a few of the reviews I can see that needs work. Thank you so much for your lovely review. Report Review
Hey, it's Miles from the forums.
I should first say that... I have never watched a Doctor Who episode - despite my friends at college trying to get me to - so I don't know a lot about the show, apart from what I have listened to from said friends.
That said. I think that this could be really interesting. I like that it gives background to what is actually going on and how you have woven the aspects of the series into the magical world.
There are some places that you do need to work on the grammar and tenses because it seems to change between being something that happened and something that is happening or still happens often. To me that would be one of the weak spots that you were talking about.
I think that... if somebody knows about Doctor Who and is a fan they will get the story, a weak spot however is that it's not really completely explained - perhaps you could explain what the TARDIS is properly? Because at first I thought it was a time-turner type deal but then she says that "I'm writing this down in my bed in a room in the TARDIS." - if you could explain that it would take the weak spot of a reader not understanding what some things are meant to represent and maybe make the story stronger.
It seems like a good idea though with lots of potential.
- MileyMalfoyAuthor's Response: Hello Miles! Thank you for coming by. I'm glad you have read it and as far as tenses go I think that's sort of the point. It's in a very non-linear time line and I Katy, the main character is just sort of talking. Maybe I should start a new paragraph we switch form future/past/present. But yes the grammar does need work. Thank you.
Yes, the TARDIS is a time traveling device, I suppose it would be like having a Time Turner put inside a room and having the Time Turner be able to move the whole room with it. I'll edit that in,
Thank you so much for taking your time here. Report Review
Huh. This was interesting. I've never watched Doctor Who but perhaps I should start... Could you give me a brief synopsis of the show?
Even though I haven't seen it, you've really piqued my interest and I look forward to where this is going to go. I also like your writing style. It reminds me a lot of the writing style in The Book Thief. Have you read it? I highly recommend it.
8/10 (I probably would have rated it higher if I knew what the heck was going on!)Author's Response: Well... it's about a 900 year old alien called The Doctor who travels around in a big blue box called a TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space) which can travel anywhere in time and space. He travels with several companions who keep him form getting too lonely writing wrongs of the universe. It'sa very good show and once you get into it, it's brillant!
I'm so glad I got your attention, I'm flattered. and no I have heard that it's a really great book but never gotten around to buying. I'll definitely look into purchasing it.
Thank's so much for rating it's going to move fast but just as long as you read you'll understand. Thank you again! Report Review
Wow! That was a great first chapter. Incredible writing. 10/10 :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Chapter 2 is validating! Report Review
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