180 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GingeredTea Prologue

1st October 2014:
So that was an interesting beginning. You were trying to go for the Lily Potter thing, right?

I'll nitpick ages a bit. Not sure how old you wanted the baby to be, but a child that can speak three word sentences is probably 2-3 years old and does not typically clap and giggle at pretty lights nor are they 'laid down' on the floor. At that age, most children would be clinging with fear to their mother, or stood still and frozen as the flight or fight response resounded in their head. They might cling so desperately that the mother could not tear her off enough to place her behind herself. But that's not that big of a deal.

The time shift was large and kinda surprising. I kinda thought the baby was a Weasley (Molly?) but it appears that is not the case.

I am really interested to find out who that girl is and what this story is going to be about. This was a fair introduction and I really enjoyed reading the story. Thanks for the swap!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Crimmy Chapter Twenty-Three

26th September 2014:
LoL! been waiting for the next one since chpt 23 appeared.. ahhaa! Keep on writing. You have a very nice plot going on~!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review :) I'll keep writing and I'm happy to see that you are enjoying the story. :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Pixileanin Chapter Twenty

19th September 2014:
Hi, I'm catching you from Review Tag on the forums!

On to your story! I thought I'd jump way out here, since the start of your story has so many reviews, and the last few don't. It's frustrating as an author when you don't get feedback on your current chapters. I hope you don't mind the skip.

I think over the last few chapters, you've been bringing Katherine's emotional turmoil along nicely. She's got a lot to work through, and definitely has some things in the past that are now rearing their ugly heads at her. I like the fact that you have included the combination of pain of loss and also the pain of forgetting the little things when someone you care about has moved on. It's almost as painful to realize that you're losing someone in your memory as it was to go through the initial loss. Poor girl.

I also like how you chose to show Katherine's caution regarding the Triwizard Tournament as a contrast to the excitement of her friends. She's not in a state to be taking risks right now.

I was wondering, and I might be wrong, but Antione is a boy, am I right? I always thought that Beauxbeton's was an all-girl's school, but maybe that's just the way the movies portrayed it. Anyway, it doesn't bother me to think that it's a co-ed school for your story.

I always thought that the upper level classes would be a mixed group. I can't imagine there would be enough students to take the advanced levels for there to be more than one or two classes in each subject beyond the OWLs. Regardless, she doesn't seem pleased that Eldon is her partner, though with her last run in with him, at least she can trust him on some level. Your choice to put the students from different houses on even footing was a good one. It broadens Katherine's view of her classmates, and it just makes things more interesting when she has to question her previous prejudices.

The way you wrote the discovery, with all the pieces falling out of the letter, and the horrible picture, it made for a great scene and put Katherine in a horrible state. Everything built up to that so nicely. Okay, nice isn't a great word for it, but it had the effect I think you were going for.

George and Fred really, really try to help Katherine, and you almost made me believe that they got through to her, or rather George did, and in the sweetest way too. But then you make Katherine scheme all on her own. She should go to Moody, but that would be a bad idea since we know it's not really Moody... she should let George (and Fred) help her, and he basically tells her not to shut him out... but then she decides that the best way to do things is push all the people who care about her away.

Okay, so maybe my assessment about Katherine not being willing to take risks was wrong. She's willing to do whatever it takes (even if it's the most unwise thing ever) to get justice. I hope George doesn't give up that easily on her. Oh, the angst!

I enjoyed these chapters. Happy writing!

Author's Response: Hello! I really appreciate that you took the time to review this story and even to read a couple of chapters. I'm glad that you think the scene with the letter was well done, I hadn't really planned it so I was worried about that.

Yes Antoine is a boy I think in the books Beauxbatons was a co-ed school, but i might be wrong.

Yes, I too think peole from different houses even years might take class together after O.W.Ls because Hogwarts doesn't have that many students, at least in the books it feels that way.

Eldon has a purpose in this fic and it's just about that prejudice, he'll hopefully teach our characters a lesson or two :)

Katherine is a risk-taker, she's just not too happy about the Triwizard tournaments given it's history. (It was an unwise thing to do, but hey teenagers can be implusive, I know I was XD)

Thank again for reading and reviewing :)



 Report Review

Review #4, by Crimmy Chapter Twenty-Two

18th September 2014:
I like it.. cant wait for the next one.. suggestion: make a partition if u were to change eg.Kat's time line to Elizabeth..
Got lost sometime reading the story..

Author's Response: Hello Crimmy, thank you for the review I'm glad you liked the story and I do hope you stick around :) I will take you suggestion into consideration for future chapters.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Penelope Inkwell Prologue

17th September 2014:
Hey! Penny here for the review swap!

"He knew Fred and George may be ready for Hogwarts, but he wasn't so sure that Hogwarts was ready for Fred and George.” Truer words were never written ;)

"Honestly, it's been three hours and you still can't tell us apart?” Bahaha! I love how you’ve captured the twins voice in here, but this joke was my favorite, I think.

So, at first I was wondering a bit at the “Merlin, you’re identical!” bit, since...like, it’s been 3 hours. You’d think she would have noticed. But then I thought about the preceding question. Is she trying to throw them off because she doesn’t want to talk about her family? After all, Katherine obviously has interesting origins. Or I suppose it could just be a statement of shock that they are so identical that they move alike as well.

Awww, I had never thought about Fred & George worrying about not getting into the same house, but they must have done. How adorable! And does Katherine have, like, some super calming powers?

I know Fabian and Gideon were Molly’s brothers, so are Katherine and the Weasleys cousins? Although it never actually was said that she was Elizabeth and Fabian’s child. Hmmm...

Overall, I’m left with a lot of questions, but this was a very packed beginning. It had fear and action and also that warm, exciting Sorcerer’s Stone, “We’re all getting to meet Hogwarts” vibe that is so fun.

My main CC would be that the commas are a little confused in a few places, but that’s an easy mistake (I, for one, tend to use too many).

Anyway, good beginning, with lots of interesting elements. And I have SO MUCH Fred and George love! You’ve really captured them so nicely. Good work!

--Penny

Author's Response: Thank you for the awesome review! I love Fred and George as well which is why I chose to write a story with them as protagonists. I'm glad you found Katherine interesting, thank you for the swap :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by teh tarik Prologue

16th September 2014:
Hey there!

I'm here for the review swap. :)

Wow, what an exciting but very tragic opening scene. Katherine is such an innocent sweetheart, and it hurts a bit to see her world ripped up like that by Rowle. And...is Thorfinn Rowle the killer somehow related to Elizabeth and Katherine? I'm guessing it wouldn't be unlikely, seeing as pureblood families are all interrelated in some way. Maybe Thorfinn is Elizabeth's brother or something, and Katherine's uncle. Just making a few guesses. :)

It's lovely to see the Weasley twins' first day at school. I don't think I've read a fic about their sorting, and it was refreshing to see things through George's POV - normally the twins are so cocky and confident and mischievous and brave that it's hard to imagine them ever feeling afraid of anything. But you captured George's moments of apprehension with the whole sorting process really well. I love the banter between them!

I wondered why I've been followed about by a mirror.

^ These lines capture his character so well! LOVE how witty George is. Also, gah! Angelina Johnson! I'm so glad you included her; I really love her character.

Great chapter! I'm keen to see where this goes, and how Katherine's life will fit in with the twins. Thanks for doing the swap with me! :D

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you for the swap :) I love this fic so much you have no idea how much it hurt to write the scene of Elizabeth's death, You'll soon learn who Rowle is and his role in Katherine's life. I'm happy I made you have some sort of guesses, I love how witty George is too. Thank you again for the swap.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Gabriella Hunter Prologue

9th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review, I'm sorry that I'm just now getting to you but I was a bit busy yesterday and after looking at your lovely review for my story, I had to get here as quickly as possible. :D

Anyhoo, this first little bit had me so upset! I was just getting used to the character and before you know, they're snatched away from me! I think that you wrote that scene really well though, there was a lot of unspoken tension in the room and by the end, I could really appreciate the way you built it up. I'm all for angst too so this was a great way to start the chapter. >:)

I wonder if Katherine remembers anything about what happened though? Also, I liked the bit of canon you had in this story with Fabian and Gideon and later, Fred and George.

Now, I've read a lot of different versions of the twins and I have to say that I enjoyed them a lot here. I've written them in a few of my stories but never so young and I really loved hearing about them entering Hogwarts for the first time. The bond between them is still there and its really lovely to read and I liked all the family dynamics that you set up too. It goes so well with what we already knew about them and I adored the brief little bit with Charlie, he seems like the coolest brother ever. Oh, and I'm a Percy enthusiast so I was especially happy to see that bloke in this.

I liked Katherine's shy nature, she comes off as rather mysterious and I can't wait to find out more about her. Lee of course was a gem and the bit of backstory you gave on him was great, you could picture them being friends after that.

The twin's banter is perfect by the way. :D

Now, there wasn't anything that I disliked about this chapter and I like the mention of well-known characters from the book like Cedric and Angelina so I'm looking forward to more.

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the lovely review and the swap, it's understandable that your were busy, I am too (procrastinating :P) I love the twins and I always try to interpret the canon characters as best I can, so I'm glad you liked their banter. I really hope you do read more since I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Thanks again for the swap :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by CambAngst Chapter Twenty-one

28th August 2014:
Hi, there! Back again from the common room August review exchange!

So there's one thing that drove me crazy about this chapter and I'll get it out of the way right up front. The spacing between the paragraphs was so wide that I could only see about 3 at a time on my screen. I'm sure this is mostly because of copying and pasting into the HPFF editor, but it's something I'd strongly recommend that you fix.

Whew. OK, so that said...

Katherine is surrounded by so many different influences in this story. It's always really interesting to see which one(s) win out in any given chapter. On one "side", we have Pierre and George and the rest of her friends. People who care about her and want to help her. Yet she's doing nearly all she can to push them away (George) or she's convinced herself that her troubles are not worthy of their notice (Pierre). OK, that's not the precise reason she's not talking to Pierre, but it's not too far from it, either. One the other side, you have Michael Blackwood, who's using her, and Eldon Burke, whose intentions are unclear at best. And she's gravitating -- at least temporarily -- toward both of them. Teenage "logic" can be really hard to follow, and I think you've done a really good job of capturing the convoluted thought processes that have led our heroine to the conclusion that any of this is a good idea. She's too caught up in her grief and guilt over her uncle's death to think clearly.

Poor George! He's trying so hard to be a good, supportive friend. At the same time, it's clear that he wants to be more than that. I'm sure he's as confused as a guy can possibly be at this point.

But as soon as the feast started Katherine walked out of the room back to her dorm as she had done at almost every meal for the past few days, she was going to review the files once more take a good look at the pictures. She couldn’t just let Egil’s death fade, not when she was so close to his murderer. -- I've been thinking more and more about the fake Moody currently resident in Hogwarts castle and the scary truth is that she might be a lot closer to her uncle's murderer than she realizes. I couldn't help but notice how the characters keep emphasizing Moody's role in passing information to Katherine...

Antoine is another wildcard in this story. Now he's at Hogwarts, so he could play a role in how things turn out. Perhaps he'll amount to more than just an alternative love interest.

Aside from the development of your own story, I thought you did a good job integrating the plot with the events going on in Goblet of Fire. That made it really easy to put the story in context and make some interesting guesses about where things are going.

Good job. I hope you have more chapters in the works for us!

Author's Response: Hello before I start thank you for the review, I love your reviews (sorry I took so long to respond, I respond usually during my down time or whilst I'm procrastinating.) You'll see Eldon's intentions later on, when I thought of him at first I thought to make him a typical Slytherin yet he had the power to be so much more, which is what he'll be. Egil's murderer is close:) Antoine isn't a love interest and I hate the fact I had him come off like that XD I guess it's the way I wrote it, later on I'll probably end up editing this chapter after I'm done with Chapter 23.

Thank you again for the review :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by CambAngst Chapter Twenty

27th August 2014:
Hi, there! I felt a little bad about being paired with you for the monthly review swap since I've already reviewed so much of your story. At the same time, I was excited to find that you had two new chapters posted. Let's dig right in!

Ooh, the mystery gets even deeper! Somebody seems to be taking a perverse joy in taunting poor Katherine about the death of her uncle. The timing is interesting, I think. So soon after the huge fights she's been having with her father, that definitely looks suspicious. At the same time, we know that Barty Crouch, Jr. is already in the castle and he's definitely taken an interest in Katherine. Lots of possibilities here...

... her best bet was to contact Pierre, he could investigate.

"I'm not going to trouble him" she whispered kneeling in front of her trunk.
-- Sigh. It seems our protagonist has a fair dose of Harry Potter-style, "I can do this all myself" stubbornness in her. Just like Harry had Ron and Hermione to help him through the worst of his troubles, I hope George and the others can help Katherine, whether she thinks that she wants their help or not.

Gah, the kiss! I love the way that you wrote that. It wasn't overdone and you captured a few neat little details -- like Katherine having to stand on her tip-toes -- that made it feel very real and even sweeter.

Oh, come on, Fred! You seriously have the worst timing in history!

Oh, no! Just at the moment that she really needs her friends the most, she's concocting schemes to push them away. You're pretty good at capturing the essence of "teenager logic". So many things make sense at that age that you look back at and slap yourself in the forehead. It's frustrating to read, but very accurate.

A tight knot formed at the bottom of her stomach, her love for George Weasley would have to wait. -- And so will I. :(

I noticed a couple of typos as I was reading:

As she laid her on the trunk she could remember how excited she was to be learning more about magic. -- was there something that she laid on the trunk?

"We wouldn't say a word" assured Fred as she turned her back on the walking out the Gryffindor common room towards the library -- turned her back on them

She knew what would happened, and if George ever found out he probably tie he down, but neither he or Fred had the authority to tell her what was right from wrong. -- probably tie her down

I think there might have been one or two more, but I can't find them now.

I'm frustrated, but that's mainly because I want George and Katherine to work out. I can't wait to see what you have in store next!

Author's Response: I know, I felt bad for the swap but at the same time I couldn't be happier since you're an awesome reviewer (I'm not as skilled at reviewing since grammar and such aren't my fortes)

On to the response:
I loved writing the kiss, I thought it was time for it to happen anyway, Fred does have the worst timing in history.

Oh no typos XD as much as I try to avoid them my brain thinks to fast for my hands sometimes (same thing happens with my art.) I really want these two to work out as well and hopefully the will only time will tell.

Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate you taking your time to give me such detailed reviews, again thank you.


 Report Review

Review #10, by Zeim Chapter Two

13th July 2014:
I must say, that your character analogy is most outstanding, plus, I believe in the past 2 chapters, I have to say that I'm at awe. I've actually found another writer that can pull of their traits.

Well done! I have to say you've earned my vote. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank your for your kind review :) And the fact that you took the time to write it down makes me jump for joy :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by gothicgnome Chapter Twenty

20th May 2014:
I really love your story. I think there are a few minor grammatical issues, but what does not. It is nothing that distracts from the awesome story you have going. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Hey goticgnome, thank you for the review and I hope you stick around to see what happens next :), I love reviews like yours it helps lift the spirit, as for my grammmar I'm working on in next semester I'm taking a grammar class at the University I attend. Again thank you for the support.

 Report Review

Review #12, by MadiMalfoy Prologue

8th March 2014:
Hello there!! So sorry about the serious delay, I just didn't have the time to tackle a relatively lengthy chapter like this one until now!

Anyway, onto the actual review! :)

You mentioned keeping reader interest, so I'll talk about that first! Your opening scene immediately drew me in as the information you gave me about your story before I read it was that it was a George/OC story, so I was confused. Who is this and why is it important to George? My confusion is a good sign--it made me want to continue reading because of it's abrupt change in tone with the Death Eater attack.

Your transition to Fred & George is good and I like that you have it in George's POV; it really lets the reader become more invested in the story than if it was in 3rd person. The twins' fear of being separated gave me a pang because I'm a triplet so I know how it feels to not know if you'll be separated from them or not at an important time. Their characterization is well done also, for everyone! I love Katherine, and I can't wait to see how you develop her especially. :)

Please feel free to re-request any time :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed review. You'll see their relationship later on, thank I'm happy to know I did a good job on their characterization. Sorry for the short response but I'm answering from a tablet and I can hardly see what I'm writing, I shall re request in the future :)

 Report Review

Review #13, by CambAngst Chapter Nineteen

27th February 2014:
Ooh! So you threw a little romantic curveball Katherine's way. Very intriguing!

Katherine has quite a stubborn streak, doesn't she? Good that Alicia and Angelina were able to break through her wall and get her back into the swing of things.

I like the way she sort of lights up whenever George is around. How long are you planning to keep us guessing about the two of them? I'm getting a little antsy for some sort of Big Moment here. ;)

Let's see, what else? I thought you took a really clever, really good approach with her feelings about her uncle Egil. She's more mad at herself for letting his memory fade than anything else. It's a perfectly natural reaction for a young person who's struggling with a lot of unresolved grief and anger.

The Potions lesson continued to build on her shaky mental state. This is obviously a class she's good at, but she doesn't seem able to concentrate. And then Eldon Burke steps in to be her erstwhile savior. Clever author!

Again, I won't belabor the point. Edit, edit, edit and you'll have something really awesome here!

Author's Response: I know I should edit, RL gets crazy and sometimes I don't have the time but slowly I've been reading older chapters and starting t pick up on my mistakes. As always I want to thank you for well thought out reviews, you're an awesome reviewer, and no worries I will edit and edit asap (hopefully before school starts.)

Again thank you for your review :)


 Report Review

Review #14, by CambAngst Chapter Eighteen

27th February 2014:
Hello, again!

I liked the relationship you showed between Katherine and her housemates. It was good to see Alicia and Angelina stepping up and protecting her from her thoroughly unpleasant ex.

Katherine continues to do this awkward little dance with George. She relishes it when he's close, but it still sends her into a fit of nerves. I'm sure the end of her last relationship is still weighing on her mind, and George probably isn't the easiest guy in the world to spark a romance with. Having a twin means that he probably feels fewer of those subtle pangs of needing companionship that plague us single children. Plus he rarely seems to be alone.

I really like what you've done with Moody so far. Barty, Jr. is doing his best to keep Moody in character, revealing things that only the real Moody would likely know. But he's also thoroughly insensitive about her loss, the same way that he is with Neville in the Fourth Year class.

I don't know if there's a "nice" way to put this, so I'll just say it: this chapter needs a lot of editing. I saw typos, grammar errors, missing words and other problems throughout it. I think the main reason it bothers me is that the story is so good otherwise. I feel like you're compromising something really awesome by leaving in the little things that are easy to fix. I really hope you patch those things up, because you have a story here that you really deserve to be proud of, without any reservation.

Author's Response: Hey I always appreciate your reviews, I know I need to edit loads of this tale! I wish I had the time school for now is at the for front but sometimes the need to write sparks up and I do, but that isn't an excuse to not edit, which I will and as soon as I do, I'll let you know, but I enjoy reading your reviews and I will start responding them as soon as, Moody was the hardest part to write of this chapter, I thought I'd forever try to avoid him but I couldn't he's an intruing character especially when it's Barty Jr. pretending to be Moody XD. Again thank you for you're detailed reviews :) I can't thank you enough.

 Report Review

Review #15, by CambAngst Chapter Seventeen

27th February 2014:
OK, so it wasn't who I thought it was going to be, but George does come along soon enough.

I liked the idea of Gryffindors and Slytherins putting their differences aside -- sort of -- in order to try to ensure their mutual safety. At the same time, there's an undertone of mistrust. Seems about right.

It was interesting to see them all musing on what the first war might have had in common with the attack on the camp. They're all growing up way too fast.

And then the Dark Mark comes...

Good chapter! Let's see how many I can read and review today...

Author's Response: Yes these kids won't let go of house rivalry that easily but I feel that if it was about their safety maybe it would be set aside, I'm to set the tone for what's about to come. They are growing up, I'm sort of upset because school will be over for Katherine soon and she'll be thrown into the real world. XD The Dark Mark, I hope I was able to describe the feeling of what it would've been like to see that in the sky especially when knowing what that meant.

 Report Review

Review #16, by CambAngst Chapter Sixteen

27th February 2014:
Hi! I couldn't believe it when I looked and saw that you had so many new chapters posted. Shows you what happens when I stop paying attention for a while.

Antoine seems to be helping to clarify a few things for Katherine. He's a prankster and not much of a student, but he's no Fred or George Weasley. I'm glad that she zeroed in on the difference.

I felt kind of sad that Katherine's visit to the Burrow didn't get its own chapter. Still, the brief encounter with Molly that you recounted felt like it was full of warmth and awkwardness, mixed with a bit of sadness. Hopefully you'll reveal a bit more about it as the story moves along.

I loved the way you wrote Katherine's confrontation with her father. Either he's getting a little soft and sentimental in his old age or he just had too much to drink. Either way, she seemed to find a gap in his emotional armor. I guess it's also possible that he was feeling the stress, knowing that he'd be donning his black robes and mask and terrorizing the crowd pretty soon.

Ooh, so he's been keeping some sort of signet ring. I'm torn between thinking that it has something to do with the Death Eaters and thinking that it's some sort of Prewett family heirloom. Either possibility would be really interesting.

When she's fleeing the camp, I found myself wishing that you'd drawn out the scene a bit longer. Let her reflect on her own terror and the awful events playing out around her. And then you left us with a cliffhanger! Since I'm so far behind now, I get to find out right away who she ran into, although I already have my suspicions. ;)

Again, your editing was a little rough in this chapter. I saw quite a few typos, to the point where I won't drag you through them all in this review. Otherwise, great chapter! Off to read the next...

Author's Response: Thank you for your well thought out reviews , I love your reviews they're always so through and positive. Also you're the only reviewer who picks up on the little hints I drop. I wish I had given the burrow it's own chapter but with my master drawing ever closer I hope to finish the story by then. Thank you sooo much for your reviews :) I hope you keep reviewing in the future,

 Report Review

Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Prologue

22nd February 2014:
Hello!

Sorry, I'm here with your requested review but I'm unforgivably late with it I know. Apologies!!

So... wow. That first paragraph was really powerful! It left me with a lot of questions... is Elizabeth with Fabian? I wasn't sure if they were together or if they were just helping her. Either way it was really sad to read. So horrible.

So then we move on to Fred and George starting Hogwarts and on the train they meet Katherine, I'm going to guess this isn't a coincidence! But if it's the same Katherine, then she survived and I can't help but wonder what happened to her after that night! I look forward to you filling in the blanks!

I liked the introduction of some of the canon characters, Angelina and Lee for example. I also like the nod to Cedric too! Your characterisation of Fred and George was really good though. Some of the things you got in there... like when they pretended they'd not realised they were identical! Very very good.

To answer your AoC, I thought this was a really interesting read and I'm definitely left wanting to read more so great job!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, yes I do fill in the blanks throughout the story and I'm glad you thought it was an interesting read.

 Report Review

Review #18, by keyty Chapter One

21st February 2014:
Hello!
Here with a (very late) requested review!
I like the story you have here. It's quite interesting. I do think it can be fast paced at times, though. I think you're trying to rush through certain scenes. I would recommend instead of explaining what the characters do in detail, explain how their surroundings change while time passes. An example would be talking about the changing scenery while they're on the train as they approach the school, how it gets darker as the day progresses and such. There were also some grammar and punctuation errors. I'm a little obsessive over those, so I would go over the chapters once more. Other than that, this is a very interesting story. I can understand why some of it is rushed since you're trying to show their younger years first. Regardless I am intrigued to see how you continue the story. Good start!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, I do understand there are grammar errors, it not really my forte but I will go through the chapters once I'm don with the story. Thank you for taking your time to review.

 Report Review

Review #19, by adluvshp Chapter Five

10th February 2014:
Hello! AditiDraco95 here from the forums with your requested review. I already reviewed up till the previous chapter of this story ages ago and I am glad I got a chance to continue this.

I enjoyed this chapter very much. It took me a while to recall everything that had happened previously but as I read along I got the grasp of it. I like your portrayal of Fred and George, it is cute and refreshing.

I like how the plot is developing further with the whole thing about Katherine's diary and her mom etc. I liked your characterisation of her here too, she was adorable and her emotions were realistic but not overdone.

I enjoyed the incident with Snape too, as well as the Quidditch part with Oliver Wood. I think its all very nicely balanced with the "dark" parts of the plot.

Over all, this flowed smoothly, and it was a nice read. I think the characters are definitely interesting and the plot itself keeps me interested. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review :) I love Fred and George, and I'm happy that I was able to balance the dark parts of the plot with a little light :) it's what this story is about, thank you again for the review.

 Report Review

Review #20, by anissamalfoy Chapter One

6th February 2014:
Hi, ya! Here with your long requested review :) Firstly, I apologise because it took so long for me to review. I've been really sick and it's been raining so hard here thus my neighborhood was flooded.

Anyways, on to the review. I personally have never read any fics about the twins so this is such a nice start for it! I like it that you stay to Rowling's portrayal of Fred and George; funny and full of mischief. However, one thing that's a little bit odd for me is the way George seems a little bit secretive to Fred about his feelings for Katherine, considering they're twins and how close they are to each other. Other than that, no complains!

As for Katherine, I really love her! It is nice to read an OC who's not Mary- Sue and a popular girl. I love it that you gave us enough details about Katherine's past, though I really feel bad for Katherine for losing both her mother and uncle. And that bits with her crystal ball also made me sad for her too.

Your chapters so far are pretty well written and I like the way you write, it's just natural :) although I feel like maybe you could add more descriptions in this chapter as I got confused at some points. So to answer your concern, yes it does attract the readers' interest!

Great job so far! Feel free to re-request and once again so sorry for the lateness!

-Anissa

Author's Response: It's okay, Thank for for the long and thoughtful review, I love the twins and I'm so happy this was your first fic, I've always thought George to be slightly secretive I mean in the books we don't much about whether of them really.

I Love Katherine in fact I'm going to feature her in a of novel :) I will re-request soon :)


 Report Review

Review #21, by Pixileanin Chapter One

22nd January 2014:
Hey!

Tagging you from Review Tag in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Well, this was interesting. I was sad about the crystal ball, and her uncle dying. I liked how you described it from a Wizard's perspective. I'm sure they don't go around using Muggle means for that sort of thing. I also like how you're bringing up George's interest level and having him notice things about her gradually, and not too abruptly. That seems realistic and natural, not forced.

Nice chapter!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review, I had to bring up his interest level, after all this is supposed to be a George/oc although I have gotten side-tracked with sub-plots, new characters and what not. I appreciate your review I hope it was interesting enough for you to read further.

 Report Review

Review #22, by marauderfan Prologue

20th January 2014:
Review tag!

The first section of this is so chilling! It's really wonderfully written - usually I like to review as I read but my eyes were glued to the screen. I think the scariest part of it all was that Elizabeth knew the Death Eater attacking her, it seems she knew him will, and that makes it even sadder.

Well, as for the second part. My goodness, I love the scene of Fred and George as first years on the train while Charlie tells them not to start too much mischief. And the twins imitation of Percy is spot on - the whole scene really is great.

So Katherine Rowle... Rowle? SHE IS RELATED TO THE DEATH EATER THAT KILLED HER MOTHER?!?! OMG WHAT

I love when all the new students arrive at Hogwarts, and how even the Weasley twins have no idea what to expect because Charlie and Bill both gave them false information about the sorting hat haha. I'm surprised Percy didn't put a stop to that. Maybe he's a little more mischievous than I have always thought, after all he didn't bother to correct his brothers :P

I'm dying to know more about Katherine Rowle and how she ended up in Gryffindor and what her connection is to Thorfinn Rowle the death eater and ahhh so many things! Great first chapter :)

Author's Response: I'm so happy you enjoyed it so much, I hope you keep reading. Thank you for such a positive and up lifting review :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by JustYourWallflower Chapter Sixteen

9th January 2014:
I absolutely love this story and I can't wait to read more. I look forwarded to the next update :)

Author's Response: Thank you for letting me know that you enjoy my story, it's reviews like this that make me smile :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by Santa, the one and only Chapter Two

5th January 2014:
Hello, hello, hello!

Santa here, back with one final gift, a sweet, sweet review on this sweet, sweet chapter!

I love the quidditch moments and how you kept it very canon that the Gryffindor team isn't exactly good or , well, a team per se. It'll be interesting to see how and why Katherine didn't stay in the team (considerig we know Harry and Katie Bell will take their spot the next year).

As for the crush / love story between George and Katherine, it is still very sweet but it hit me, as I was reading the chapter, that they are barely second years... As I read the last chapter, I was convinced that they were 14-15 and so their story seemed appropriate but now that I've realised their age, well, it seems out of place a bit. 12, is young for such a relationship. It's really well written and fun to read but when you stop to think about what age they are, it just seems too mature for the characters (not sure if I'm clear).
Just my opinion though, you are allowed yours and, like I said, it's well written and enjoyable, just a bit out of character.

I really like this story so far, you are doing a great job and when I have the time, I'll definitly come back for more (when I will have shed my red costume that is!!).

I'm glad I was your Santa because it gave me the opportunity to discover this sweet little story and I had a great time reading through those first chapters. Great job so far!!!

Author's Response: Hiyah there!

I really hope you let me know who you are Santa.

Anyway, I do get your drift but then thinking back when I was 12, I had pretty hard crushes (maybe I was a weird little girl, or overly emotional XD)

YAY! I'm glad I've caught your interest, hopefully I will maintain it. :)


 Report Review

Review #25, by Santa, the one and only Chapter One

5th January 2014:
Hello again dear Santee!! It is your friend, the -finally in holliday- Santa!

I really liked this chapter, the innocent attraction between George and Katherine is just so sweet! And I can't wait to see what he'll do with the anonimity of his situation!!!

I like how the rivalries are very present between the houses, feels real if a bit over the top at times. The characterization is going very well; I like where you are taking the characters and how they are developping.

It's nicely written, easy to read and flows beautifully. One little thing I noticed was this :

[b]ago that[/b]

The "bold" didn't work and so, the code doesn't have it's place there. It's a easy fix :)

I really liked this chapter and will read the next one with great pleasure!

Santa

Author's Response: Hey, you know I'm sooo curious to know who you are! XD

Aren't they innocent? Well at least for now, anyway thanks for noting that error :) I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>