Yeah, of course I was gonna pick the one with my name at the end... ;)
You know I love this story, and I'm honoured to have been a part in its making.
Sorry it took me so long to get around to this...
Keep churning 'em out, kiddo =] Layu x xAuthor's Response: Haha! I knew you would :)
You were extremely helpful throughout this :) And you can expect more notes to you when the new story appears :)
Layu too Ben x Report Review
Hiya, it's innocence from the forums with your NaNo reward :P
Fantastic one-shot; I enjoyed reading it so much, and really loved the idea of seeing Snape's last moments through his own eyes. I have to say, generally I'm not a fan of song-fics, but this was so well-written I barely realised it was one!
There are few grammar errors, but these can be sorted out easily and don't need to be worried about. Also, there are a couple of places where I don't think the flow is quite what it could be; but once again this isn't a big issue and can be sorted easily. If you want, I could go through it in December, as well as your NaNo story?
Oh, it's so bittersweet when he thinks she's come for him, before realising that it's just Harry - a beautiful moment and very well done. I love how you've gone through the memories in a chronological order - starting with pre-Hogwarts and ending in their Seventh year (is it seventh?). It's adorable how he already knew he loved her, but knew he couldn't be with her; until the end, where he was the one who pushed her away, not her him. This is completely different to how I imagined, and I love it even more for that.
I love Lily's questioning, and Snape's enjoyment of being able to answer her. My only question here would be - how does he know so much?! His parents/other elders would have told him some, but not down to the finest details that he knows...I also think it's great that he doesn't understand some of the muggle sayings she comes out with :-)
And I also think it's great that you included how their favourite song came to be! It's really important for this type of song-fic, and at first I was worried you had left it out, but noo ;)
And the ending was wonderful - the meaning behind "Look...at...me..." was just perfect and that's something I will always remember when reading that part of the book from now on -- Snape wanting to see Lily's eyes as he dies Author's Response: Thankyou so much for this :) You certainly kept me going for a while longer in NaNo!
This whole piece was so hugely cathartic for me, I could really understand the concept of pushing away the people you love for their safety and I just knew as soon as I heard the song it had to be this way :)
Thankyou so much for taking the time to read and review :)
LGE Report Review
This is simply amazing. So much emotion packed into such a small space.
Fire and Ice. A brilliant analogy for Sev and Lils - it fits, perfectly. I especially liked the bookends of DH; I'd always assumed Sev had a visions of Lily before he died, but I thought you captured this "missing moment" wonderfully. It was genius to have him push her away in the end - not sure if that fits into canon or not (if you squint right, I suppose it can) but, frankly, I don't care. I think this is a much better termination of their "relationship" more emotional, more painful and more beautiful.
And that shout out? Wow! I really can't thank you enough. Two years now, already? Where did that time go? I must say your writing really has improved (not that it wasn't stellar before!), but its powerfully genius now. And I'm truly flattered that you mentioned me, my friend. I count myself lucky.
EldyAuthor's Response: Eldy :) I'm so glad you read this!
I'm totally bowled over by your praise! (To the extent where I am speechless and also struggling to write a response. I've deleted huge chunks over and over again.)
You know me, I always hated and struggled writing Snape, and then I started WtHotB and it just started to get easier, and this popped up and my head exploded!
For some reason, Snape and Lily to me were just perfect together in another world, so many 'what if's' around them. In all my research I could never find anything that stated if they parted ways or anything like that but I thought he must have done, you don't hang someone you love on for so long, hurting each other, its self sacrifice :(
Your shout out is more than deserved! You have been a fabulous friend, mentor and general guidance giver for so long and I can honestly say, wanting to match your incredible writing has pushed me higher and higher :) Thankyou, and seriously. 'powerfully genius'? Wow, I'm off to write, my muse is on such a high it might just dedicate another chapter to you!
Your friend, always,
Lily :) Report Review
Oh my gosh... this is fantastic. I love how you have the brief flashes of the present before Lily takes over Sev's thoughts again, and the memories are so beautifully woven to portray their friendship and growing love, but how you show their growing, haggard gaps too. The ending was so beautiful, and it made me cry, because they were going to be together again now. The song you chose for this is beautiful too - this is a truly amazing piece.
The winners of the challenge will be posted at some time in the future, once I've reviewed all the entries :) total 10/10.Author's Response: Thankyou for such a fantastic review! You have really cheered me up and giving me a bit of a kick up the backside to get writing again!
To me, it had to be weaved together, they were destined to love each other but not be together in my view, and I'm so glad you got that part!
Aw, I didn't intend to make you cry, but considering how much I did when I wrote the ending I guess I'm flattered you could feel the emotion there :)
The song was given as a challenge and inspired this, I have no idea where it came from, it just appeared on the page, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
'Amazing.. fantastic...' words I don't often get in a review and it really does mean a lot.
Thankyou ever so much, and I wait for the results with great patience ;)
Thankyou, from the bottom of my heart!
LGE Report Review
I would never have paired this song in my mind with Severus Snape in a million years, and now I can't stop thinking about it. I can hear the words in my mind, in one of those far away, echoing-type alleys, where you know something bad is about to happen. That's where your first paragraph put me.
I got so caught up in the happy memories, just like Severus did, that I was angry to be jolted away from them each time. Nooo, more happy times! Darn reality getting in the way. That sad, sad, moment where Severus realized his love for Lily and at the same time that he'd never have her, that was heartbreaking. I've never read it put quite that way. It was very well done. It was refreshing to have Severus be the one to break things off with Lily instead of the other way around too. I can't remember having read it that way before.
I truly enjoyed this from beginning to end. The flow was excellent, the story line was engaging, and you let Severus have peace at last.
pixileanin (Gryffindor)Author's Response: Thankyou so much for spending the time to read and review, it really means so much, especially when your words are so kind and flattering :) Me and my ego love you very much ;)
Funnily enough, Severus and Lily were the first characters that came to mind when I was given this song, to me they just fit, if that makes any kind of sense?
I loved being able to show some of the relationship from Severus' point of view. Those times with Lily were some of the happiest in his life, and I had to wrench myself back to the present too! I so wanted to elaborate on the snippets we get, I felt he would have given Harry many more memories than what we see in the book, and these are just a few of them :)
To me, it was always Severus who would break things off. He realised too late that the path of destruction he had taken would lead to disaster and he loved her too much to let her be destroyed by his selfishness, but I'm so pleased you found it believable and refreshing, that makes me smile no end :)
Thankyou, from the very bottom of my heart, for such a lovely review, so flattering and detailed, I am so pleased to read it, you've given me a much needed boost to get back on the writing bandwagon! Thankyou, a million times!
Really looking forward to reading this as I'm fascinated by the world of Severus, Here we go...
Its interesting hearing Severus be so excited about Hogwarts and it's particularly tragic as it shows that as well as being in Love with Lily showing these emotions, he was also once very enthusiastic about the wizarding world.
I love the thought of these two young people getting excited about going to Hogwarts and getting to know more about it before they go. With Harry he is thrust straight into it, but your storytelling is making me feel like how I would feel now, knowing what I know about Hogwarts and how I would feel knowing that I had 7 years of Hogwarts to experience, it really makes the reader ignite with their own experiences and dreams of Hogwarts.
The description of the eyes is beautiful and really emphasises what Severus sees in her, beauty inside and out, to what he then sees in Harry and how looking at Harry he is looking back at that beautiful imagery.
I really love the idea of them really being at Hogwarts and how like in the books when Harry is at school, there was Seamus and Dean and Neville etc. but in their time you describe Malfoy and Yaxley and James, it makes it seem so real.
You make the link with the song so perfect, its not just random. The thought of them sat in summertime and she just happens to sing this beautiful song and that is what always reminds him of her is absolutely stunning and poignant.
When you describe how he will go home unwanted and unloved links with the life that Harry has lived with the Dursleys, like Harry, Severus has never experienced love from his family and his only saving grace is Lily despite growing up to a wizarding family. Also, I really love the link between Severus and Harry at the beginning, him wearing ill fitting robes and hang-me-downs and being underprivileged.
It was a hug that spoke a thousand words. She was apologising that her parents would never accept him, he was apologising for the fact his friends wanted him to join a new group that see her killed in an instant, but right there in the little copse of trees none of that mattered. When it was just them, together - this is so beautiful, how they are talking to one another without any words, absolutely beautiful!
Love the amortentia reference, reminding me of Hermione smelling the mint toothpaste!
The way you describe the point of view with Harry collecting the memories as if it is all a daze to Severus is really really good, he is still aware of what is going on yet he is completely absorbed in his memories of Lily.
I can feel the emotion you must have felt writing the last memory, the tone becomes rapid and its just so powerful, so beautiful and so tragic.
The end is just amazing, seriously beautiful I had shivers while reading it.
Absolutely fantastic, you should be so proud of yourself you have really captured the spirit of Rowling while adding your own twist and expanding on such a tragic story. Well Done!Author's Response: Thankyou so so much for stopping by to review :) And huge thanks again for being so detailed! It really made my day when I logged on and saw this waiting for me!
I always felt that Sev and Harry were very similar people, although Sev had his parents, they never really treated him as a child, the same the Dursleys did to Harry and I really wanted to try and get this across here :)
I figured Sev would be so in need of time at Hogwarts that by the time he turned 11 and got his letter he would have found out every single piece of information he possibly could, and I tried to match his knowledge with Lily's complete lack of knowledge of this strange new world she's been thrust into.
To me, Sev always found solace being around Lily, and he did truly love her from the first moment he saw her :) Her eyes were the endearing feature that lasted through Harry, and I had to use that link :)
I'm not sure if Malfoy and Yaxley actually were at school with Sev, but I really wanted to throw in some names of older characters to try and give it a real sense that it actually happened, if that makes sense? ;)
As soon as I was given that song for the challenge I knew I had to write Severus/Lily, but not the typical romance gone wrong, I wanted to tell of their friendship outside Hogwarts, when they could both be themselves :)
Like I said before, Harry and Sev are so alike in so many ways, and I really wanted to get that idea across through the story and I'm so happy you picked that up :)
I always think if you have a deep enough relationship and connection you don't need to talk to someone, you can say it all without saying a word, and I wanted to show that connection with them, I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you get that bit! :)
The emotion was so strong, I actually sobbed as I was writing, it really is a piece I put my whole self into, but to me, that was the only way I could write it and make it believable to everyone who would read it, and I am touched by your words, honestly, that sort of praise is wonderful to hear :)
I cannot express how happy and proud I am by what you have written about my work. It has touched me to get such praise for something I bashed together in a few hours! Thankyou from the very bottom of my heart for reading, reviewing and giving me such high praise, I am forever in your debt :) Thankyou Report Review
Ok first I am finally reviews so yay! Now to the review
You set the scene for your story wonderfully from the very start by illustrating where he was in actuality but also where his mind was taking him in those last moment of death. It was all very thought out and you did a great job at bringing his canon death into your story.
The flashback was very well done and showed a side of Snape that is not seen very often, the compassionate side for Lily, and his love for her. Giving them a place in which they meet every so often really demonstrates that Lily cared for Severus as well, and that it wasn't just a one sided relationship on Snapes part. The fact that was based in the forbidden forest gave it a sense of secrecy and finality of the lovey piece you have written.
It really shows how I have always pictured Snape, as compassionate towards Lily. I also liked how you brought the past into the present as "Snapes life flashes" and how you made his personally depict that of someone who would do anything for Lily even if it means saying goodbye for her own protection.
There are a few grammar errors here and there but otherwise an amazing story and I am so glad I read it.
Now to move onto the others.
~Steph~Author's Response: Hey hun! So glad to have you read this! It is one of my favourite things I have ever written :)
I'm so glad you could follow it well, I always worried with the flashbacks whether it would become a little too complicated, but by the sounds of it I managed a balance!
To me, Snape/Lily was never one sided, until they grew apart, as so many friendships do, I always thought they would be incredibly close and he really would have done anything for her :)
Looking forward to reading more of your reviews and thankyou for stopping by :) You've put a huge grin on my face!
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I read this last night, and I cried my eyes out. Anything that has to do with Snape's love for Lily makes me melt, and this was throughout beautiful.Author's Response: Oh thankyou so much! I really worried if I could make it believable enough to get those sorts of emotions from people, but obviously I did! Sorry for making you cry so much! But thankyou for a lovely review :)
LGE Report Review
Tears were actually stinging my eyes then, I was that close to crying. When the lyrics came up I started singing along because I was that lost in your story...it was so good. I never imagined Snape to be like that but the way you portrayed him just seemed so right! It was brilliant.
Thanks for entering my challenge :)
Bex (ps 10/10)Author's Response: Oh yay! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) This story made me cry so much but I honestly don't think Snape became as dark as he was until he lost Lily's light, and then once Harry came along he regained a little of it.
That song was just fantastic, to think I was going to write another boring Tonks/Remus or an Arthur/Molly. I just found this flowed once I sat down to write it :)
I'm so glad you posted the challenge and I spotted it, you got me writing and updating again and I am so pleased with myself that it had an effect like that on you :)
Thankyou for a brilliant review
LGE Report Review
this was incredible, i read it while listening to dream a little dream, it brought me to tears! thats a lie, in all truthfulness i was sobbing. KEEP WRITING! AAHAuthor's Response: Oh this is a wonderful review! I really didn't want to make you cry so much though! It was hugely cathartic to me, I've never felt his pain specifically but I found this helped me get rid of a lot of my own baggage and I cried my eyes out when I wrote it :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) You've made me very happy. Report Review
Absolutely beautiful! I may be a bit bias because "Dream a little Dream" was my first acting/singing audition song. It worked so well, all of it. Great job. But btw just a tidbit, when Mama Cass sang this song, she went by Cass Elliot, no longer wanting to be associated with The Mamas and the Papas rather being her own musician. I had to know the ins and outs of Cass Elliot so that little fun fact was my fav. ~KittyAuthor's Response: Thankyou so much for your review! It really has given me a major smile that I can't wipe off my face :)
I was so worried it would be cliche and a bit wishy washy but if you like it and you have such a strong connection to the song then I suppose I must have done something right!
And thanks for the correction! I will go and edit the chapter and resubmit the changes now, crediting your fantastic music knowledge of course ;)
Huge thanks for being my first review on this chapter, really made my day :) Report Review
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