Reading Reviews for Liam Wren and the Dragon Wand
52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slightly odd kat The Normal Boy

2nd March 2014:
1 we don't have prep schools in the UK
2 private schools are the reserve of the wealthy, normal kids like me go to the local comprehensive
3 The local comp is not looked down upon by anyone, except snobs (a more hated group of people you would be hard pushed to find)
4 If there was a grammar school system in the area, he would take the 11+ exam and if he passed highly enough, he would get a place at the local grammar, but areas like that are few and far between
5 Applications for high school have to be in by 30th January (I think) the academic year a child turns 11. You get three choices, 1st 2nd and 3rd, and are offered a place at 1 school. A student's wealth is not considered and almost all children go to a state school. This is completely free for parents, and free bus transport & school meals are provided for poorer students.
6 parents,unless they are upper-middle class, (we still have a class system very firmly in place although certain groups of people try to deny this) are not concerned about paying for school.
7 school holidays in the summer are from the middle of July to the start of September (6 weeks)
8 Summer very frequently is cold, wet and miserable. We get about 3 warm, sunny days a year. If you are lucky.
Please change the things I have pointed out, they are very annoying.

Author's Response: Thanks for the insight into UK schools! Having never been to England, I'm bound to get stuff wrong. However, the Second Edition is now complete, and I'm moving on to other stories. I'll try to keep this in mind, however, in my later books.

I am a product of American public schools, and my wife is now a teacher. The comments made by Liam's father about the local schools is an expression of anti-public school snobbery I've heard many times over the years here in the States.

 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderfan The Normal Boy

1st January 2014:
Hello! I'm here with the 6th day of the 12 Days of Reviewing over on the forums.

Wow - from the beginning I'm struck by just how much this reminds me of the opening to Philosopher's Stone. Firstly, the "Normal Boy" aspect is great, it pays homage to Rowling's opening chapter "The Boy Who Lived", but in this case Liam is no hero, he's just no one important in particular. And your opening lines about asking the neighbours are really great too, as it's the same in PS! I love the way you've emulated JKR's writing in the beginning of the HP series in this way, but put your own spin on it to tell a very different story.

Ooh, Liam's magic does appear to be a bit more advanced and of a different nature than most Muggle-born kids. I have a feeling this will be an important plot point later on!

I love how you've updated Hogwarts' invitation letter. It makes sense that it would change over time - especially as colourful brochures attract more attention - and it still has that magical feel to it, since it only changes when someone of magical blood touches it. It's a really creative way of updating the wizarding world.

Liam's mother seems to have taken the news pretty well. I liked her comment that Lakewood sounds better as a name haha! "Hogwarts" really is an odd name.

This is a really good start and I'm eager to see where it goes! :)

Author's Response: This was exactly what I was driving at. I'm mimicking Rowling's style while drawing a firm distinction between my hero and hers. My story will follow her template for a while, and then diverge, much like a jazz artist will play with a song before extemporizing.

I also wanted to show the passage of time, how the new regime are making their mark on the wizarding world, and to the school specifically. There will be some changes to the staff while other teachers remain, providing continuity.

For Liam's "Juvenile Magic", my analogy is music. Some musicians have an intuitive sense - they can pick up an instrument and play without much instruction. However, when those same musicians have to learn Music Theory, they often struggle. I wanted Liam to struggle in the same way with his incantations and wand work .

There is much more for you to read. Annie will voice some deep misgivings in Chps 2 and 3, but of course, Liam will come to Hogwarts. There are many characters for you to meet, and I will take you places Rowling did not. Please keep posting your reviews! Fondly, KJ

 Report Review

Review #3, by Cicero_daredevil The Long Goodbye

6th December 2013:
I. Have read this in three days it is as compelling a read as j.k. I love that your recognized hufflepuff for once they get recognition
I sincerely hope you return to wren I would love to known more of him especially sinc electives will be when Patrick his brother starts. Yes the plots within we're great and the sublime to the overall story was great. I see wren possible heading to be he next great positions master with his spell invention you might want to let him create something new for his housemaster or the head misters which is usefull to the school but only can work for people at top positions like say a potion that would let u walk through a wall. But like dumbed ore said only being head can you do such thing in HW. Also with his cooking. Wren should have encounters with house elves at some point

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! First one for me in a long while . . . I will come back to Liam at some point. I need to get a few things out of the way first . . . For Liam with the House Elves, please see "The Dangers of Black Cats" . . . I'm currently revising all the "Dragon Wand" chapters, correcting typos. Chapter Seven, when it's revised, will have new names during sorting, so look for that in a week or so . . . Thanks again for writing me! KJ

 Report Review

Review #4, by chas The Normal Boy

12th June 2013:
So, I have consumed your trisome and feel quite impressed with wren. I am on my third read of dragon wand. Really wish you would extend with a sequel.

Author's Response: I plan to come back and finish the story of Liam Wren. But first, there is a little here about Tess and her friends. The Coven have a part to play in Liam's story, and I thought you should know a little more about them before I finish Liam's story. Thanks for writing, and for reading! I really appreciate it.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Hogwarts27 The Scent of Jasmine Heather

30th April 2013:
Hi, I've been enjoying this story so far. I usually don't enjoy reading OC characters, but I haven't been bothered by it in this story. There was enough interest in the first couple of chapters to keep me reading. You did a really nice job describing Liam's family, and differentiating Liam and Patrick in the early chapters. You also gave the reader a brief glimpse of Cyrus' personality, and showed us some of Patrick's insecurity. The other kids, however, are not nearly as well-defined in my mind, so some more character development would be good as the story progresses with all these OCs. I think the writing, dialogue, and pacing of the story are all good. Even chapters about ordinary Hogwarts school days are perfectly appealing to me as long as they're well-written, and I haven't minded that the story has some repetitive elements from the books in describing the start of another first-year class at Hogwarts, and with the usual bullies vs good kids. I also enjoy that you're giving the reader a good sense of Hufflepuff house. I thought the scent of Jasmine Heather was a nice original idea, and I'm sure there will be more originality in your plot as the story continues.

The only thing that felt a little 'off' for me was how much magic the kids could do without any magical training yet. They all struck me as being just a little too prematurely skilled, but maybe you have a reason in mind for it. It certainly hasn't dulled my enjoyment of the story. As a really minor point, you've also got Gryffindor and McGonagall mispelled. But I think you've done a nice job so far in writing this, and I look forward to reading more of it.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! You're pretty early on in the story at this point. You'll find there's more insight into the other characters as I get going . . . There's very little in Philosopher's Stone about the First Year cirruculum, particularly with DADA. I was having to make a lot of it up . . . Yes, I know about the typos . . . I'm digging deep into the Slytherins right now. Will have some new stuff posted by June . . . Be sure to check out more of my original fiction on Amazon. Thanks again for the review! I really appreciate the feedback!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Adam The Long Goodbye

22nd April 2013:
Loved the story. Didnt realize just how little rowling wrote on the other houses til i read this. My only disappoinment is that you are going to pack all the other years into one book, im starving for more.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the positive feedback. Writing is a lonely business, and rejection is a regular part of it. I love it when I read that I'm reaching people . . . That's one of the things that drew me to this project - the chance to go deep into the other Houses. More is on the way - I have started drafting "The Witches of Slytherin." I will post as soon as I have a few chapters typed and polished.

 Report Review

Review #7, by chas Sadie's Request

1st February 2013:
handing over for free(?)
Go leave my first year be(?)
Jumpin' Bronco's it's Shaky reincarnate!

Author's Response: Are you trying to find the blank verse passage? It comes from the mouth of Edward DeVere, of course (one of the little jokes that no one seems to get). "For golden silence and for golden brew . . ." Unrhymed iambic pentameter.

 Report Review

Review #8, by chas A Conversation with a Hat

1st February 2013:
I'm reading this for the second time. Still remember alot of it from the first time but I enjoy it very much.
Thank you for writing such an excellent book.

Author's Response: You're welcome! Thanks for reading it again! . . . I have a couple of novels on Amazon, if you're interested. They're under the same pen name. They're not fantasy, but they are for teens and pre-teens. "The Trouble With Girls" and "Missy Baker is a Band Geek."

 Report Review

Review #9, by chas The Long Goodbye

20th January 2013:
liam wren both parts are my favorites outside jk rowlings herself. may we have more please.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm busy working on another project, but I plan to circle back at some point. There's plenty of material. In the meantime, spread the word!

 Report Review

Review #10, by laura The Will of the Wand

1st December 2012:
A court room scene. Great! This can't be the end! Need more!

Author's Response: Sorry, but there is just one chapter left. It should be up in a few days . . . Near the end, I felt I was showing off a bit - a sports story, an action story, a court room drama - I really can do it all. Rowling showed the same range in the Harry Potter books. I'm glad she's getting the opportunity to go in a different creative direction, and glad too that her new book has been a success.

 Report Review

Review #11, by laura The Eaves of the Forest

1st December 2012:
Very exciting. Love this chapter

 Report Review

Review #12, by laura One Day Pays For All

1st December 2012:
Excellent. I enjoyed all the game strategy. Great job

 Report Review

Review #13, by laura A Visit With Stilgrevsen

30th November 2012:
Nice cliffhanger ending to this chapter. Makes me stay up late reading :)

Author's Response: Wait til you get to the end of "One Day Pays for All." Don't read that one late at night, because it's long, and you'll have to keep going.

 Report Review

Review #14, by laura The Precious Object

30th November 2012:
Great detail and conversation. I am enjoying interactions between liam and others

 Report Review

Review #15, by laura The Ferrari of Wands

30th November 2012:
Another great chapter. I would like more detail about why umberto is involved, but I am sure more details will be revealed in future chapters.

 Report Review

Review #16, by laura Making Inquiries

30th November 2012:
I like the interaction between students and teacher, and the solving the mystery sequences in this and rhe past few chapters

 Report Review

Review #17, by laura A Very Long Night

30th November 2012:
Another exciting chapter. I like how you pulled in characters from original HP to remind us of the world they are living in. Interesting how the slytherins protected and escorted liam

Author's Response: Berto's motivations are not fully explained until the last chapter. As Pemberton will say, "These are Slytherins we're talking about. Loyalty is not their strong suit."

 Report Review

Review #18, by laura The Stinging Curse

30th November 2012:
Best chapter yet. I enjoyed the complex interaction between the characters, and hoe Liam is feeling about everything

 Report Review

Review #19, by laura Chocolate and Other Remedies

30th November 2012:
Loved this chapter, very entertaining

Author's Response: There are so many plot lines here that I just had to leave for another day - Liam's heat spell, and it's effect on girls; Stacy, her personality, longings, fate, etc.; Sadie's relationship with Gillian; Morwena's Coven; the Gryffs, including the Roycester brothers. All of it got a little mention, and then I had to move on.

 Report Review

Review #20, by laura Ruffled Feathers

27th November 2012:
Cute! Nice banter between the kids. Great to get more detail on Liam's issue. Would have liked to know more how he felt about what happened...his fatique, frustration that he may have to wait several months to get a new wand, interest to hear how a wand chooses (since I think this is the first time it is brought up to him).

Author's Response: The battle with Lucy only solidifies the notion in Liam's head that he doesn't really need a strong connection with his wand, that his "Juvenile Magic" is strong enough to see him through. It's not until much later does he realize his error.

 Report Review

Review #21, by laura The Voice of the Dragon

26th November 2012:
Interesting! I like the mystery of the red dragon and the wand, which may be related. It is exciting to see what will happen next.

 Report Review

Review #22, by laura The Train Ride North

25th November 2012:
Mugle instead of Muggle.
I think Liam's final words in this chapter should more strongly represent his personality. Boys, let's get going, seems too generic.

We are finally getting a sense using a finger instead of a wand is special and unusual, and that Liam looks after others and is loyal to his new friends. I was afraid he might have actually hurt the bully on accident, not knowing his own strength.

 Report Review

Review #23, by laura Between Two Worlds

25th November 2012:
Boy's should be boys'

I like how Liam's character is unfolding. He is independent and studious. It seems Patty is quicker to pick up on magic and seems to have more enthusiasm and curiosity. It almost seems his character is being fleshed out faster than Liam's.

 Report Review

Review #24, by laura The Pregnant Hero

25th November 2012:
A few typos/grammar points:
Annie was nearly "passed" it. Should be "past"
Repeated "good" 3 times within 2 lines.
"Scampered" repeated twice within a few lines.
Several places where the parenthesis was outside the punctuation.
All right, said the clerk "reluctan*t*ly...forgot a t
"Spider barely smaller" doesn't really convey the same feeling as "spider almost as big as" the kittens
pouched was used instead of pounce

 Report Review

Review #25, by laura The Mysterious Visitor

24th November 2012:
7 typographical errors in this 2nd chapter. Enough to be concerned that the errors could be distracting from the story. "I don't know why I did. It didn't seem right too" should be to.
2) There was a worn sofa overlooking a plate glass window, showing a view of the front yard and the walkway up to the "t" door. The t shouldn't be there.
3) "No style at all, that one,"said Patrick, referring to the car "at the car" than the man. Extra words are here.
4) Patrick opened the door just "just" as the man pushed the bell. Too many justs.
5) No, I'm from (the) Ministry.
6) You're in "the" file. Not necessarily a typo, but probably clearer if it read "our" file.
7) ...fancy sports car would (be) out of the question. Missing a word here.

I would like a little more sense of what kind of kid Liam is here...respectful, loving towards his mom, protective or annoyed by his brother, etc.

Author's Response: A new reviewer! Excellent! Yes, this is a rough draft, and there are typos here that I may not ever go back and fix. Most of my published stuff has been polished to a bright shine, but this novel was posted as I was writing it.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>