81 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaCamille Louis

27th December 2012:
This is a lovely chapter! I really like the juxtaposition of Luis's prettiness and Alice's "ugliness". (Though she clearly isn't.) It's doesn't feel overdone or anything, but a really interesting contrast.

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Review #2, by Hannah Fred

15th November 2012:
The song that goes along with this is perfect for Fred's story. I always wondered why no one really talked about this particular issue. It seems pretty obvious with him being named after his dead uncle who was also his father's twin,but I've never happened upon a story where it's discussed. I loved it! I love that all of the stories and characters have such real issues.Keep up the good work!:)

Author's Response: Hi Hannah! Thanks for this. You sound really like a friend of mine so it's lovely to have this review from you :D

I'm glad someone else though that too - I think I got so tired of waiting for someone to write it i just did it myself. I'm so happy you like it! I'm a bit stuck at the moment, but don't actually have much left to write for Molly's - once I get going again I'll have it up!


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Review #3, by BellaCamille Rose

27th October 2012:
I just love the way you drop in bits of the story throughout the chapters. It is such an interesting way to organize it and it totally works.

I really liked that you didn't focus too much on Rose and Scorpius as teenagers either, and made it much more about them as adults. It gave their story a new perspective.. (:

Author's Response: So glad you like this! If you want to know more about them, my other stories link to this!

It was lovely to see your reviews, thank you!


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Review #4, by BellaCamille Albus

27th October 2012:
I'm so glad I continued with this story! I was dying to know what happened with Al and Eva. This was a great chapter. I only wish there had been more information on Al's struggles with his family; that part really interests me as well.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you continued too! Ive been working on an Al novella, about his 5th year at hogwarts, which explains all this, since i started writing two years ago. some is explained in my other stories though, they all tie together :)

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Review #5, by BellaCamille Fred

24th October 2012:
Aw, I love this one! If that's writer's block for you, then I am envious. I really loved this chapter and you definitely steered clear of the cliche. I love how mysterious and brooding he is- it's so fitting.

Author's Response: That means a lot, thank you! I hope the characterisation makes sense!

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Review #6, by BellaCamille James

24th October 2012:
I love all the small details you add that connect this James to the first gen James. It just all fits together really well without coming off as cheesy or silly. I wish this chapter went on longer though! I want to hear more about his and Charlotte's relationship. (:

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! I've actually written about them elsewhere, theyre mentioned in "Beautiful Dawn" I think, and "Potter's Got it Bad" and "You're Not Sorry" are partially and wholly about them, respectively :D

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Review #7, by BellaCamille Dominique

24th October 2012:
I love your Dominique! I know I keep saying the same thing, but it's true. I've never seen her portrayed like this- tough and cold and determined. It's so refreshing and interesting!

Author's Response: Hi! So happy this was interesting to you! I hoped she was a little different, especially because shes older :)

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Review #8, by BellaCamille Victoire

24th October 2012:
This was lovely! I must go read the other fics you mentioned because Victoire is simply perfect as the first Weasley clan child. You really captured what that would mean so well!

Author's Response: Thank you! I wrote her before, her POV of the Teddy chapter in "Sparks Fly". Shes also a main character in "How Soon is Now" :)

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Review #9, by BellaCamille Teddy

24th October 2012:
I just got this! This is so cool. Wow. I'm floored at how well you weave the book into your story, it's perfection. Your Teddy is one of my favorites I've ever read. No one ever portrays the complications that would have effected a character like him. You did it so well!

Author's Response: Hi! That is so nice of you, and I'm so flattered you like Teddy - i wrote him as near as i could to the teddy i imagined!

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Review #10, by BellaCamille Introduction: Harry

24th October 2012:
This is a great story! I'm totally in awe of the way you weave the chapters together. (I admittedly clicked a random one at first, and promptly decided I must start at the beginning.)
The feeling of the song goes so so well with the way you write as well-- I love this!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! I'm really glad you were prompted to start at the start too!

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Review #11, by magnolia_magic Fred

7th September 2012:
"He couldn't get through any family gathering without someone mentioning the other Fred, his uncle. The real Fred."

This line. It just made me so sad, because I hate to see Fred thinking that way. That he's not the "real" Fred. And yet, it makes perfect sense for him to feel that way, like his only purpose in the Weasley family was to replace his uncle. Except thata he doesn't live up to everyone's expectations. That's got to be so, so hard. And you conveyed all that with just one line. That's why I love your stories so much.

Ahem. Please excuse my rambling, B, but I'm just so excited to be reviewing another story in this series! And I had to geek out over that part, because it just really struck me :) Now, on to the rest:

The little things you've told us about George really upset me, because I just want him to accept his son for who he is, and not try to make him different. I just feel like that's what a parent should do. But then again, not all families are perfect, and I really like the dysfunctional picture you've painted of the Weasleys. Not that they're completely unhealty, but they're just normal. Every family has drama. Every family has a black sheep or two. I think you do an awesome job of showing the Weasley's in their good and bad moments :)

One little style critique: In the paragraph that begins, "He made his way up the bus, nodded to the driver, etc." you use the word 'cafe' an awful lot. I might vary that wording to make it seem a little less choppy.

When I first read through this, I wondered why Fred's love interest wasn't fleshed out as much as some of the others. We don't really get to meet her beyone a passing glance, and even Fred doesn't know much about her. But then I read it again, and I realized how perfect it was for Fred's story. For him, Anna represents hope for the future, and maybe a way for him to come to terms with his past. That idea is what's most important, not necessarily Anna herself (though she seems completely adorable, and I think she'd probably be good for Fred.) I just really love the way you worked with that, and gave Fred something (someone?) to look forward to.

I really liked this one! And I'd love to see more about Fred; he seems like he'd have a very interesting story to tell :) Great job!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hi Maggie!

Sorry, I've been away again but I'll try to finish "Molly" this weekend! Since you've been following my stories- or continued to over that break - I'm really sorry my first update was such a weak chapter.

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review! I know I was a little hard on George here, I don't think he would have been that bad, and a lot of what Fred II says and thinks is self inflicted, but I really avoid thinking about George too much because I know he won't be ok and it makes me too sad.

I'd like to think Fred works it out though, in the prologue he's happy enough :)

Yeah, I get what you mean there. I wanted her to be a potential love interest as opposed to "new girlfriend" but I think I did this at the cost of getting to know Anna. When I decided Fred would end up with a Muggle girl I was really eager to get into that, but it didn't happen. Maybe another time I'll get back to it!

And I'll be sure to change that "cafe" thing when editing, that is a bit strange!

Thanks again!
B


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Review #12, by kjp Fred

6th September 2012:
Hello i'm kelsey, or preferably kjp, you asked me to review your chapter. I must say the idea of the story is great, i love the idea of "love is all you need" and how you're going through everyone its quite a unique idea and i haven't seen anything like it on HPFF.
My favorite part of this chapter was how you made George want his son to be like his brother, to find another partner in crime to replace Fred, and the fact that Fred II wasn't really a image of Fred (i'm probably confusing you with all these Fred's) made the plot even more real to me, I can just imagine George feeling so lost without his twin brother that he sought to find it in someone else.
You wrote Anna beautiful, she seemed like such a kind and genuine person. and the way you wrote her when she was singing I almost wanted to hear her voice for myself, it sounded flawless and to perfection.
I really liked this chapter, i'd rate it a 8/10 only because in parts I felt like the chapter dragged a bit by, as if it went slow... I don't really know how to describe it.
I'm not going to bother you with grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes because i'm terrible at spotting them and knowing me if I did spot one i'd end up being wrong :D
I really like this story and would be interested to see more from you.
Feel free to ask for another review.
- kjp

Author's Response: Hi kjp!

I'm really glad you like the premise of the story, that's always a good start!

I do think it was a bit slow, as I think I said I'm quite rusty! I'll have another look at it thanks!

Thanks for this!
B


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Review #13, by megthechef43 Fred

6th September 2012:
BrightStar,

I did enjoy reading this entry in your collection of short stories. I liked the ending and how he could change his own life.

I could definantly see how Fred II could feel that way. How he could feel pushed into being someone that he isn't and replace someone he never knew. It is BIG shoes to fill and especially if Fred II isn't interested in being a joke. My heart broke for George when Fred II refused the jokes to play on the family. Fred and George were so close and it would be just like losing your other half but it should be Fred II spot to fill either. Anyway, I really think this chapter did justice to Fred II and how he would really feel.

Now on to the technical stuffs. :)

I did notice a few grammar/typo issues but they were not a big deal. If you take a few minutes to read through the chapter I'm sure you spot them.

I really liked reading about Anna. You did a great job describing her because I could picture her perfectly.

I think this was a good, strong chapter and if you are rusty (your wording not mine :) ) I didn't notice at all.

Megthechef43 aka Meg

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for this! Really helpful to hear praise and critique - I'll have another read through and edit at a later stage!

Thanks Meg!


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Review #14, by AlAndAl Fred

3rd September 2012:
Ooooh! This was great! Your characterization of Fred and how he was forced to fill the shoes of Twin Fred is really different. I have actually never seen Fred like this and it actually makes a lot of sense! George replacing his twin through his son, it's a brilliant idea.
The flow of the story was good. And the mood was very...misty. Like it was all clouded over and he didn't really belong anywhere. He was lost in himself.
I'm not really sure if I have any criticisms for you. It is a solid piece of work that made me really feel hownlost Fred really is. Good job!
-Allie

Author's Response: Hello!


Thanks very much for the review, I'm so flattered!

I was worried about that mistiness, though i didnt have a name for it, but i feel better about it! i didnt know who fred really was so it wasnt like he could know himself!

Thanks again!
B


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Review #15, by Serendipitous_love Fred

2nd September 2012:
Okay, let me begin with the first paragraph. Many say it is the first sentence that draws a reader in. Personally, I think it is the first paragraph. Which I love. There are a couple of mistakes but theyíre only minor. The paragraph is short and sweet and for a romance lover like myself, it is perfect. Since it goes on in the next with more explanation, brilliant.

The explanation of the double Fred problem was done perfectly. When next gen is written, I always expect one to absolutely loathe the rest of the Weasleys for some reason e.g. they love their sibling more or theyíre not as perfect as them. None actually have done Fred, which has so much promise. The thing I really like is his portrayal and how he still does love the family which I think is right- I mean, who wouldnít love the kind Weasleys? Címon!

Whilst not much happens, so much comes through! I really like that about this piece. Although it may be worth adding some description of past visits and his thoughts on her since this crush has a bit of suddenness about it, I think it is perfect. Itís full of promise and thoughts, letting us think about what might happen. Itís only a sort-of happy ending too, just the right sort for a piece like this!

Your descriptions are amazing. I loved Ďunder layers of cold stares and cracking knucklesí and some more. You really have a way with words that pull people in. I loved it. Overall it works well and I have no idea why you worry about your Fred- you went with it, it worked well in a whole different way. Oh, I forgot to mention- the idea of romance one shots for all is amazing.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly!

I can see what you mean by errors in the first paragraph - I submitted this in a hurry and I really must edit! I'm happy you liked the start, I agree with what you say about about the start of the story being important, and I hope I managed to get it right here!

I'm so happy i got the "Two Freds" thing right, and his relationship with the family. I didn't think i was hitting home there, but it must have been ok if you picked up on it!

Finally, I'll have to iron out the Anna thing - the crush is supposed to be sudden, but I want the reader to get a sense of why it happened - I'll definately keep what you said in mind when editing!

Thanks again!
B


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Review #16, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Rose

2nd April 2012:
"I'm thirty years old, Scorpius." She laughed. "I think it'll be alright."

^ I think I really connected with Rose in this chapter. It's great to read about love, whether it works or doesn't, but bringing her parents into this kind of...I don't know...people always say, and I know I do, that one day, you're not going to need your parents approval for things. You're going to be your own person and that's what I feel like this chapter was about, Rose becoming her own person. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for this! I'm really glad you liked that bit, its there for a reason. especially when i write rose as younger, shes obsessed with what her parents want and either obsessing about living up to it or obsessing about resisting... and in the end, shes just rose, and you really got it there. she can do what she wants :)

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Review #17, by Pen2Paper Rose

12th February 2012:
Oh I am such a sappy romantic! I was actually like two inches from the screen reading this!

Hey, I'm Pen2Paper from the forums with your requested review! Man you ended it just when I wanted it to just keep going! I wouldn't have wanted it to end. To answer your question. No, It's not too slow. I feel it had just the right pace.

I am so like Rose, love weddings and so I greatly enjoyed this piece especially how you made all the characters fit into it. I don't know much about her but I already friggin' adore Sophie! I can just see her bouncing about with her golden hair. Oh man! I just realised that the image i had in my head of her is young Rapunzel from Tangled! lol

Likability? Are you kidding? This is a lovable story! I love it start to finish. So many moments in between I felt a laugh escape me. (doesn't happen often)
I love how Rose thinks! Its just incredibly relatable and clearly has characteristics of both Ron and Hermione.

"Al had always been her favourite. It was unfortunate that he was now going to have to die."

LOL. I laughed imagining her expression!

Really what can I say? I love how realistic it is, the doubt, the ache she has when her past love comes back into her life, and she realises she wasn't really over him, the reflections of their young love and convincing themselves they were young and stupid and it wouldn't have worked. I love it all!

My favourite moment though was Hugo!

"Dad's going to try to cut in, Ro," Hugo said, just loud enough to hear, as he passed. "Do not, for the love of Merlin, let him."

Hahaha I laughed so hard! Love him!

Anyway you've got a brilliant chapter on your hands and its a masterful job to end with Scorpius asking what he should say instead of plainly saying it.
I love this! :) WELL DONE!
10/10

Thanks for requesting BrightStar:) Good luck with all the other chapters of this story collection :)
~Pen2Paper.

Author's Response: Awww thanks so much! Sorry for the delay, I havnt been on here!

OMG thats exactly how I pictured sophie! And I love weddings too :)

Rose is possibly my only, really, funny character. I write my other characters so we laugh at them, Rose is the one who cracks jokes - though theyre mostly mean, I imagine!

THANK YOU! :D


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Review #18, by MyMyMiss Louis

6th February 2012:
I think I said in one of the previous chapters that I thought it was your best next gen story - I lied. This one is deffientley your best by far.

So, I really, really enjoyed reading this chapter. It was so lovely - to be honest I have only read a handfull of Louis Fics, and not many of them I have liked. Purely becuase he seems a lot like Al and James, stuck up and prude. However your version of him is great.

You have for sure, got a way with Next Gen characters. You take them too a completely new level, with a different eye as well, which I think is great. I've said it numerous times before - not only to you but to others as well. Next Gen is a lot like founder - we know albeit nothing of their generation and so we can invision them however we want too, which I think is just golden.

Normall, as all next gen readers would say, each and every next gen character canon or original, comes off as the boy/girl who gets everything and everyone he wants, sleeps with people all the time, is snooty, a princess or prince, etc.etc yet with your characters they are always different, that is why I never hesitiate when you ask for a review because I know that what I am expecting will never be what I am actually expecting.

This chapter was just so lovely, im still getting my head around it all. Your flow, dialogue, entire concept is just lovely :D

I love it!!

10/10
&& Please feel free to re-request more chapters :D

~Karni. xx

Author's Response: Sorry for the delay, ive been away for so long.

This was such a lovely review, and so appreciated. I try and make my characters different, and though i dont think i always succeed, it means alot that you like them!


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Review #19, by magnolia_magic Rose

3rd February 2012:
Hey B! Sorry I'm so incredibly slow, but here I am with your review! I've come to enjoy this series so much, and this is another great chapter :)

I really enjoyed reading this chapter, but it's very difficult to read as a stand-alone. I think if I had read your other Rose stories, I would have had a much easier time understanding everything. For instance, what exactly did the war have to do with Rose and Scorpius' relationship? I didn't really get a sense of that here (but then again, it makes me really want to go read the other Rose stories you've written!)

I also think that since you give the year for the main part of the story, you should do the same for the flashback at the beginning. That way, readers will get a sense of how long ago it was. While I was reading, I got pretty confused about that, and switch to Eva as the bride-to-be instead of Molly was a little abrupt.

Okay, on to characterization (my favorite part!) I feel like I always gush about this with your stuff, since all your characters just have a life of their own :) Anyway, I love what you do with Rose, especially the contrast between her adult self and the descriptions of her as a teenager. I love that she's so take-charge and organized, and yet also compassionate and emotional. It makes for a really well-rounded character. I'm also glad she's mellowed out in the years after Hogwarts, and has a better relationship with her mother.

My other favorite character in this story is Harry. He seems just like I would imagine him as a (god)parent--wise, loving, and eager to see Rose happy. I really enjoyed reading about their relationship :)

I think this is a refreshing change from the usual ScoRose. I mean, I like an angsty teenage drama every now and then, but it's nice to see them fall in love as grown adults with a bit of perspective. It's a unique take on them, which is always great to see :)

Thanks for requesting! Once again, I really enjoyed it :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hi Maggie! Thanks so much, this is perfect, I plan to edit this week since I have no writing time (and there is so much to correct in this piece!)

I think i was concious of the word count being so big, so I cut out a lot of explaination, I'll put it back in! I will of course explain better about the flashback. In "Beautiful Dawn" I talk about two weddings, Molly's and Albus' in the role of the Scorose relationship but i really need to repeat this here.

Thanks, I really do want this to stand alone! Also so happy you like Harry and Rose, and you enjoyed the story. Really happy with the CC and praise you've given here, thank you again!


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Review #20, by MyMyMiss Rose

3rd February 2012:
Before I go into this review - might I just say that this line here -though feeling her ears reddening , as her Dadís did.- Made me giggle so much :D It was brilliant!!! && This one - Al had always been her favourite; it was unfortunate that he was now going to have to die.
- was priceless ^_^

Okay..
Hi!! Karni here with your requested review :D

First of all, let me just congratulate you on another well done chapter to this little love feast ^_^ All your next gen stories are written really really well. I really do love this little series ^_^

Now - I am going to be honest though and say that I did feel a little lost during this chapter :/ Only to begin with though. At first I couldn't really follow it as everything seemed to be very muddled and confusing, but then as it went on things started to make sense, going from fifteen to thiry :P But after I read it, it all came together and actually flowed really really well.

I thought during this chapter that there could of been a few different wording structures, but nothing major ^_^ Just a couple of sentences here and there!!

Rose was a very beliavable thirty year old, as well. Her personality like her mums - bossy, arranging the wedding, hens night, reading, etc.etc. Everything was really, really well written. However, with that being said, I like how you explored another part of Next Gen and kind of went for another Era all together. With Rose being all grown up and everything - it was just so nice to see a different light to another Next Gen.

Other than that I absolutley love your mini series and will review another asap!!!

10/10 - as always.

~Karni, xx

Author's Response: Hi! thanks s much for this!

I really do need to explain the background better. I think I just didnt want to get it too long, but I seem to have lost a lot of background information. I'm going to edit this week, thanks s much!

So glad Rose seemed right to you, and you still like the series!

Thanks! x


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Review #21, by atellam Louis

1st February 2012:
Hi, atellam here with your review. (Yes, I know it's taken awhile... sorry about that :S)

First up -
+ 'remembering what Fred used to call his Louis' "witch fits" -'
- This sentence doesn't actually make sense. 'call his Louis'' doesn't make sense. Maybe you meant to put a comma in there, or you typed it a different way before deleting and rewording and somehow some of the old sentence was left there, I don't know. But it doesn't make sense to me, and you might want to give it another look...

+ "for me Louis."
- There should be a comma between 'me' and 'Louis.'

Okay, other than those few things, this was really, really good. I loved how you showed that Alice had flaws (her illness) and wasn't perfect as many characters are often portrayed, particularly physically. This was also excellent as it helped step outside the box and break away from the cliche mindset of a Veela - that Louis has distantly inherited - that looks are important. Not sure if that makes sene, but I hope you get what I mean. It's a brilliant change and really interesting to read. Well done! :)

Pacing and flow were fine, no real problems there, and i've already talked about characterisation (of Alice's differences and your fresh take on a part-Veela) and plot (re: fresh take, as this was a one-shot, that pretty much was the plot).

Description was fine, no ridiculously large chunks, which is always good.

Overall, not too much to say, mainly because I certainly enjoyed it, and I hope that you re-request!

Keep up the writing,
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Sorry for the delay, ive been away!

Thanks for this, I'm so happy you liked it! I will definately use your review in editing!


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Review #22, by academica Louis

28th January 2012:
Hey! I came by to see what you came up with :)

I really like your characterization of Louis. Normally I get annoyed when the whole social atmosphere at Hogwarts revolves around the Wotters, but I like how you've interspersed the familiar characters in with OCs in passing comments. I also like how you had him concerned about his masculinity with his dose of Veela blood. He's interesting. I am a little confused as to why Neville called him by his mother's maiden name, though, instead of Bill's last name.

I think Louis's interaction with Alice was really sweet. She reminds me of one of my OCs, Paige, who I created as Snape's daughter - she's clearly talented in her father's craft and takes a special fascination with his field of choice. I also really like the parallels you drew between them, particularly the comment about their hands looking the same when dirty and the contrast between his concern over his appearance and her utter lack of concern and focus on the internal.

This whole chapter was really poignant and you described a really special kind of love. It's sweet to know that Louis was able to look beyond the scars at that beautiful smile instead. The chapter flowed pretty well and I didn't notice any major mistakes except for a typo here or there. Very well done!

Amanda

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry for the delay in reply, I haven't been here much laterly!

thanks for the help and the review; I'll be sure to fix the name-mistake and the typos.

I'm glad you liked it! :)


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Review #23, by Roots in Water Louis

28th January 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I really enjoyed reading this chapter- it's so different from the others in this collection, Louis is so different. He's sad, concerned about his looks and lonely. It was interesting to read about his perspective of big families and their problems- I've read before about how people feel as though there are specific "roles" and expectations that they have to fulfill and I think that you put an interesting spin on it. Louis is considered "pretty but dim" even though he's at the top of his classes- it's as if everyone else doesn't want to see him, just the label they've given him. As if everyone else in the Weasley family is more interesting than he is.

Louis was definitely a likable character, even though you made him slightly vain (perhaps because of that), and I liked the way you had him interact with Alice. You did a really good job of "showing and not telling" us Louis- from his interactions with Neville, Roxanne and Albus we were able to see just how much he was ostracized. His comments about his "effeminate features" and his panic at the dirt on his head definitely showed his vainess but also showed us that he was insecure. As for Alice, I was confused in the beginning as to who she was but you gave us enough clues to figure out her parentage without telling us outright. You made her human, real, and didn't allow her illness to define her, something that I really liked.

I think that you did a good job of showing Louis' reasons for caring about Alice though he had rarely interacted with her before that afternoon. She didn't expect him to be "pretty but dim", she was strong and she needed his care, his protection. She allowed him to be more than society expected him to be. It was sweet and sad at the same time.

I noticed a few small typos as I was reading but, to begin, why did Neville call him "Mr Delacour"? Wouldn't his last name be Weasley since Bill's his dad and you typically take your father's last name? As well, it's "Hogsmeade", not "Hogsmede" - you forgot the "a". With "its all I seem", "But its not even", "But its stupid" and "Its over now" it should be "it's". Finally, with "prominent than unusual" it would make more sense if it was "usual".

As well, I found some of Louis' speeches a little confusing, as if he had thrown several different complaints/topics together. For example, in the paragraph that starts "Louis glared ahead at Aileen..." he goes from talking about how she turned him down to saying that he'd only asked her out for Roxy's sake (and why would Roxy want him to ask Aileen out?) to worrying about his looks and complaining about his Veela blood. Does he think that his diluted Veela blood makes him look effeminate? It felt as though sentences were missing- I would just reread the story to make sure that Louis doesn't jump from topic to topic too quickly. He has some great comments- some of them just feel out of place with the topic of conversation.

All in all I think that you did a great job of handling a more difficult and dark topic with sensitivity and grace! This chapter was a pleasure to read and I enjoyed your characterization of Louis. Thanks for re-requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: I'm replying to this months too late -

your review was so helpful to me when editing, thanks so much!

It also meant a lot that you knew about the other stories, so thanks for helping with this!

B


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Review #24, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Louis

27th January 2012:
Once again you have managed to tug at my heart strings! It was more than that though. You have taken this to an entirely new level. I was seriously wondering how you were going to tackle Louis because he sounded very superficial. His looks, his hair, that's all that mattered to him and when he saw her. No, when she didn't see him anymore I felt like he had finally realized that there was more to life than being what everyone expected him to be (just pretty). You know I just felt so bad. So, so bad. I can never handle when author's in fanfiction merge an illness into their story. I don't know why but I can't. Reading it in regular novels I know that it's coming and I know that I'm going to come up to a part of the story where it's just terribly sad and I'll want to shed a tear but I normally don't because I know what's coming but this? What you did right here? I never expected that. It took me by surprise and I just...well...wow is really all I can say.

Author's Response: Hi deeds!

Thanks so much for this. I'm sorry that it effected you like this!

It means a lot though, that you told me. I intended this to be a less happy and shiney, but I gave in to make it slightly nicer. I thought by doing this, I had betrayed my characters. However, I feel a lot better about how I wrote it now.

I'm still sorry though - I hope overall you liked it even so. And I'm sorry again! I think some of the other chapters fluffier!


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Review #25, by Crescent Moon  Louis

27th January 2012:
Aww... this chapter was so sweet!! I like how it was different, it wasn't just about the romance but more the emotional side. I can't wait to see who you write next, do I get to know? :D Please update as soon as you can.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! I'm glad you liked it, and that you thought it was a little different - I hoped I had done it justice!

It means so much that you want to know whos next! I have about a thousand words written for Fred, but I'm not sure the story is interesting enough so I may start again.

Hopefully I'll have it up soon! I try to keep my About Me up to date so people know what I'm writing :)

Thanks again!


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