This was beautiful! I absolutely adore Teddiore, so I was a bit disheartened that this was such a tragic story, but it was a gorgeous one all the same.
There's something rather poetic and romantic about pieces like these, I think.
I hate quoting paragraphs, but these had to be my favorite lines of the piece: The thought of her jubilant face, her sparkling, soulful eyes; the sound of her pleasant laugh - all these memories are nothing but lingering shadows now, serving no purpose except to prove the length to which she exists no more. She’s gone from me forever - I will never again be able to sing off-key with her in her bedroom to her parents’ annoyance. I will again never be able to dance with her under the stars, amidst the smooth sand of the seashore, against the backdrop of softly crashing, melodic waves. It is just so powerful, so romantic, and so lovely. It really overwhelms the reader with Teddy's pain and yet it's a beautiful metaphor for all that he's gone through. One can really identify with him.
Your descriptions and word choices made this piece flow magnificently. Not to mention I didn't pick up on any grammatical or spelling errors so awesome job on that aspect. I've always appreciated pieces with that polished look.
I also like the plot of this piece. While ominous and quite depressing, things like these sometimes do happen. I also like the fact that he didn't know why she jumped. To me that seemed to make it more realistic.
In most pieces the writer tries to rationalize why said person would think of doing such a thing and while that is fine, I don't think that's something that can always be explained. People are irrational beings, after all.
So good job! I really liked your characterizations in this piece. While enigmatic, they seemed to speak volumes simply from your word choices.
This piece was so poetic and the word choices were very good and well crafted. This piece is absolutely one of the saddest yet most beautiful Vic/Teddy pieces I've ever seen written.
I love it!
If I had any qualms with this piece it would be the length. It is very short, but I realize that if you legthened it - it might have lost some of it's strength and it's appeal.
Linders Report Review
I just cried a whole river, and probably more! I felt so much for Teddy it's hard to imagine what he would be going through. 10/10 xAuthor's Response: I made you cry?? I suppose in context, that's a good thing. :D
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