I really like your idea, because now I'm itching to know how she died!! I've always had this vision of Albus Potter in my head and you managed to capture him perfectly. Good job!Author's Response: Thanks! I love writing about Albus! He's probably my favorite out of all of the Weasley/Potter family. I'm glad I portrayed him well! To be honest I was kind of nervous when writting his character, so I'm glad someone aproves! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
How did she die? Why did she die! WHAT DID HE SAY!Author's Response: You'll find out..due time.
That was my lame attempt at a dramatic effect. Thanks for reviewing! I can't wait to write that chapter! I already have it planned out! Report Review
All right listen up kid... Here's how things work- u post a chapter, someone reads it and then u either get ignored or a review. Either way something happens and most people don't review!! But I will cause I know what's it's like to not be reviewed when u work kinda hard on something. I get that you're nervous also but calm down I mean it's a story. Still good job on the grammar and spelling and whatnot (I suck at spelling) so yep!!
Alright I go bye bye so YO ZUESY BOY!!! Zap me outta here will ya?? ...im still here, figures *exits stage right in a huff then comes out and is showered in roses, bowing* thank you thank you!!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm not going to be one of those writers who beg for reviews because even if I have zero I'll still write as long as I have readers. I will, however, ask politely for reviews! So, again, thanks! Report Review
This is a good start! The story sounds original and you got me really hooked with the mysterious death. Can't wait to read more !
Your writing is not bad at all, you may need a beta reader later on, but you write well!
I guess you will tell us more about your characters in the next chapters? Characters development is really important for a story.
Update soon :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! Yes, you will be learning more about the characters (especially Vic) as the story progresses. I might even be introducing some new characters in the next chapter!
I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I have exams this week so the new chapter probably won't be up until next week.
Again, thanks! Report Review
Really Awesome!! I'm really excited to see what happens next!!! Keep Writing!Author's Response: Thanks! I can't wait to tell you what happens next! Report Review
oooh, welcome to fanfic! I remember those days... :')
firstly, this was a brilliant start. I absolutely love the plot idea you've come up with - I've never seen a story start like this - drama or what?! :P it's incredibly intriguing, damnit - why is she dead? What did he say?
I like the introduction to Albus - the little meet-up on the platform was cute and I can't wait to see him again! There's a lotta potential in this story so don't take too long with the next chapter! :D
welcome again, and well done! :PAuthor's Response: Thanks! I've been reading fanfiction for about 2 years now and I thought "Hey! Why don't I write some?" So here it is! I'll try not to take to long with the next chapter, but I've got exams this week so it probably won't be up until nex week.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I think this is really good and i know nothing about harry potter so i dont undersrtand it at all but ur a really good writer and u use big words which is good but yeah good job!Author's Response: Hi Morgan! I'll give you props for "attempting" to read the first book.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
p.s. Only your penname would be "pllfanforever"
:) Report Review
liking it!! keep up the posts,and i'll be back! intiguing teasing with the dying parts...:)Author's Response: Thanks! You're review means a lot! Report Review
I loved it!! Great descriptions and a great introduction!
Only criticism: Shorten the "Yes I did" "No you didn't" by one "Yes I did" and one "No you didn't". But thats just me.
More chapters soon please!!!
~ Interested Reader
p.s. I love how you used Harry's son and also explained it in the story. I wouldn't have caught onto that if you didn't. Good work!
p.p.s Enjoyed how you foreshadowed with the taking of his hand polite and normal but for me it would cause my untimely death. Excellent! :) Keep Working!!Author's Response: Hey Sarah! I know my response was kind of on facebook, but you're review meant so much to me I'm going respond to you again.
So here it goes...
Thanks! Report Review
First, let me say that you are an amazing writer. The story has great descriptive language and I can see it being a success. The only thing is I can't read stories where the main characters dies and I know it in the first chapter. Other than that, I can't wait to read and review more if your writing, stories that don't include dead characters;)
FiFiAuthor's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for reviewing! You're review brightened my whole day! I'd like to thank you for the compliment. It made me smile as wide as Cheshire Cat.
Again, thanks! Report Review
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