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Reading Reviews for Big Brother
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Singularity Big Brother

13th August 2011:
This is super, super cute. My older brother would totally do this kind of thing to me, and I would do it to my younger sister, so I guess it's just a sibling thing :P

You wrote the brother/sister relationship very well and very believably. As a middle child, I could totally relate to both of them :P My favorite part was definitely Remus talking about how meeting a Metamorphmagus might be kind of fun. Oh hahahaha, I love little nods to canon like that :P

The ending is really sweet. It kind of reminded me how I will give my brother ridiculous, overly dramatic hugs to disguise the fact that I really want to give him a hug when I'm leaving :P You just kind of downplay how much you care about each other, but it's definitely there.

Again, very cute and sweet and fun story. I really enjoyed reading it :)

~Singularity
(Ravenclaw)

P.S. Did you let your brother read it? What did he think?

Author's Response: Back in the archive after a long absence. I wanted to clear off all my notifications. Thank you for the read and review once upon a time!

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Review #2, by charlottetrips Big Brother

8th August 2011:
I have to say, your story summary immediately intrigued me! Which is awesome since you don't got no banner yet :P

OK, so I see that this is un-beta'd and I acknowledge that. There are just little bits here and there that should be cleaned up in terms of grammar and spelling but I won't elucidate further because I'm sure you'll handle it.

Now the story itself: SO CUTE! It is totally something I could see an older brother doing. Obnoxious but caring all at the same time!

Loved the banter you had going there. I think the dialogue really carried the story well and it felt real and energetic, especially between Sara and Eric.

Loved the embarrassment of Sara. Such a 15-year-old! :)

Remus would totally do something nice like he did here and it was all very believable.

Completely adorable, this was :) (that's the Yoda in me talking).

charlottetrips [fellow 'Claw]

Author's Response: Back in the archive after a long absence. I wanted to clear off all my notifications. Thank you for the read and review once upon a time!

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Review #3, by forsakenphoenix Big Brother

7th August 2011:
This was a cute little one-shot. I love the sibling dynamic between Sara and Eric. How he's protective but teasing and she's embarrassed and shy. I like how Eric is more considered about who she goes out with rather than her dating like most big brothers often do. I'm not a huge fan of those depicting Sirius as a playboy though the idea of girls fawning after him seems to fit into canon. I liked that you weren't quite sure who she was starting at at first and then her brother narrowed the list down.

I was a little confused when she said she was Muggle-born. I don't recall much about magical families, but I'm not sure how common it is for a Muggle family to have more than one child be magical. Maybe it's more common than I think.

I noticed that you didn't use a beta and it's a bit obvious - sorry! There were grammatical errors and issues with possessives and capitalization. Your dialogue tags were a bit mixed up; you used commas where there shouldn't have been and full stops where they shouldn't be either. It might be helpful to have someone check it over real quick and fix the obvious errors, though I see it was posted months ago so maybe it's not a big deal anymore.

Overall, I found this pleasurable to read. Very light-hearted and a nice change from the angst I've been reading lately. :)

forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Back in the archive after a long absence. I wanted to clear off all my notifications. Thank you for the read and review once upon a time!

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Review #4, by ravenclaw_princess Big Brother

7th August 2011:
Aww, this was a really sweet story. The brother and sister love was really nice and highly relate-able. Both OC's were nicely developed with unique personalities. Sara's shyness came across nicely through her actions and dialogue. The little interaction with Lupin was sweet and you could see the little spark that was there. She acted very much like a girl with a crush.

Eric was an awesome older brother. While protective, he was also supportive and he wasn't so concerned about her dating, just about who she was dating. It was nice how he called the marauders over to their table, and he wasn't too obvious about his true intentions.

As for the story and plot, I really like how it started as you are immediately wondering who she is looking at, and exactly who it is is unraveled slowly. It's good for keeping the readers interest. Having Sara studying metamorphamagus was a nice tough and a good way to foreshadow the coming relationship of Tonks and Lupin.

The biggest issue is the grammar and spelling and some oddly written sentences. I would suggest having a beta reader go through to correct the errors. The story itself flowed nicely though with good pace and it was a pleasant little read. Definitely left a smile on my face.

ravenclawprincess - ravenclaw

Author's Response: Back in the archive after a long absence. I wanted to clear off all my notifications. Thank you for the read and review once upon a time!

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Review #5, by momotwins Big Brother

7th August 2011:
Aw. Love the use of OCs, and the overprotective big brother. I like the idea of him warning his sister off, and that she's one of those girls from Snape's memory who sigh and pine for Sirius while he fails utterly to notice them. Depicting Peter as someone "no creature in their right mind" would fancy is a little cliche, though, but he was never the handsome one in the books, so it's all good. Poor Sara, when her brother tells her to stop studying and be sociable: how embarrassing! I really loved the Metamorphmagus bit, with it hinting at future Remus/Tonks, but mostly the "true form" stuff. Very interesting there. Eric seems like a good brother, although to a teenage girl I'm sure he's just too much ;) He seems sweet to me though.

I did see several grammatical errors, but none were that serious. A few misused words and incorrect possessive, that kind of thing. I see you were going beta-free on this one, so I suspect a few of these were spellcheck errors on homophones. Anyway, this is a nice little story, good job!

WTM - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Back in the archive after a long absence. I wanted to clear off all my notifications. Thank you for the read and review once upon a time!

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Review #6, by PrincessPadfoot Big Brother

1st June 2011:
SEE!! I REVIEWED!

Okay so I really quite enjoyed this story. The silbling dynamic between Eric and Sara was spot on, it even made me wonder if you were drawing on RL experience…oh well!

Sara’s interest in the marauders makes me interested in them. Her incessant staring makes me wonder what she’s staring at, and it keeps me curious.

Eak! He invited them over!! SUCH a big brother thing to do! Poor Sara…but yay Remus sat next to her!!

Remus is so nice! Talking to her about her coursework! Oh I get little butterflies whenever you mention that Sara is nervous! Hehe she’s so adorable, and I think she would be a good match for Remus.

Eric is nice….for a brother. If that makes sense. He can see that Sara like Remus and he even offered to put a good word in for her, that’s more than most brothers would do.

Brilliant one-shot!

Ta!
PP

Author's Response: You write some of the nicest reviews! I envy your review skills and am humbled in their presence.

Thank you for reading so much! I love the interaction between an older brother and younger sister there is something very timeless about it and warm and fuzzy!

thank you so much!


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Review #7, by carrie anderson Big Brother

1st June 2011:
verrry good, well-written, and funny. please continue!! :)

Author's Response: well this was a one shot so it's over however I am toying around with the idea of a making a series of one shots with Sara.

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Review #8, by LovlyRita Big Brother

31st May 2011:
I thought this was a cute little story! You could tell she was gonna go after Remus, she had this way about her. I like the brother too, quidditch player eh? Nice last name :)

I also loved the bit about the metamorphagus. Little did he know he'd marry one one day. And then they'd die. but that's whatevs, isn't it? But you did a good job of portraying her shyness and I really liked that, and the brother's over protective instinct against Sirius. I mean, what older brother WOULDN'T see Sirius as a threat??

Great job :)

Author's Response: A review from the GREAT LovlyRita herself! Wow thank you for taking to the time read and review it means a lot, it really does.

thank you for your support


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