Reading Reviews for As Brothers We Will Stand
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Red_headed_juliet As Brothers We Will Stand

13th March 2014:
Here with the review swap! So so sorry it took me this long. Anyways!

This was so sweet!You did a very good at job with the pacing and characterization. These boys are my three favorite characters, and you really have made them lovely. I feel like Ron never gets enough credit. Lol

As for CC there were only a few typos. Nothing else really to comment on, good job!

Thanks for the swap! Until next time,

RHJ

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really should go back and fix those typos. I keep forgetting. Thank you so much!

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Review #2, by 1917farmgirl As Brothers We Will Stand

15th August 2013:
Okay, I want to start this review off by saying you owe me at least one box of tissues. The soft kind. That don't hurt your nose.

Oh man! What a rollercoaster! This is EXACTLY the kind of story I usually avoid. Fred dying crushed me and I have never gotten over it. Probably why I specialize in bringing him back from the dead. I simply cannot stand the idea of George being alone.

Okay, but enough about me. On to this amazing story. I can't believe how well you captured both Ron and George's characters in this! And the pain both are feeling. I love the way you paint the picture of a world trying to celebrate a victory and heal from a war...but also how much that healing hurts. Not everything can be all right again instantly.

I love that you used Ron. While my first loves are always going to be the twins, I have a soft spot for him. And I really hate it when people write him as clueless and dumb. This was the Ron I love - caring, smart, but not perfect and not always in control of knowing what to say. BRAVO!

Thanks for posting this story! You are a brilliant writer and I am glad I found you.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kindness! I really did my best to capture the Weasleys. They are some of my favorite characters, and since I'm a twin myself I found the loss of Fred to be particularly hard.

Thank you so much again!


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Review #3, by academica As Brothers We Will Stand

12th August 2013:
Hey, I'm here for your requested review :)

I really liked the way you started off this story by contrasting Ron's perception with the celebration going on in the streets. This line in particular was great for summing it all up--It was an unexpected side-effect of surviving a war: everything suddenly looked, or felt, or smelled, like something morbid. I thought you did a wonderful job of describing Ron's post-war feelings without moving into the territory of, as you said, superfluous description.

I do think there were parts of this story that might have veered a bit into the melodramatic territory. For example, while I can totally believe George staring into a glass and being tormented by his own appearance, the act of throwing the glass and yelling at the bottle seemed a bit over the top and a little too cliche for my liking. I've seen several people characterize post-war George that way, and while that's not my view of him, I think you could make that case if you provided more detail about how he'd gotten to that point... which is understandably hard to do when this is written from Ron's point of view. Just my two cents.

The other thing that I noticed here is that some of the humor seems a little forced. There were some lines, like Ron saying that he can't stand by George if they're laying down, that were just perfect and seemed really effective for breaking up the tension. But some things, like the tablespoon joke and George's comment about aiming for the ears, just seemed a bit heavy-handed and too deliberate. My advice would be to let your humor flow as naturally as possible, and don't feel like you have to make a reference to all things Weasley in a single story.

There were a lot of things I liked about your characterization of George, though. My head canon is that he was a bit more muted than Fred, and I liked the serious touch you lent to his character here, in terms of being actually concerned about the future of the business and having to deal with everyone seeing Fred when they look at him now, as well as saying that drinking keeps him warm.

Good work! Hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your honest review. It gave me a lot of things to think about, and I think the thing I took out of this the most is the time I put into my character reflection. Especially characters I have very little writing experience with. I just sat down and wrote this, and didn't think as much about if the reactions were natural.

I thought a lot of the parts you caught were the ones I was the most worried about. It made me happy to know my gut feeling was right, and I plan to follow that more before I get post happy.

Thank you for the review and I hope I can apply these thoughts to my writing in the future. I really appreciate it.


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Review #4, by Polyjuice_Pixies As Brothers We Will Stand

14th May 2012:
This is a really beautiful story. I think that you captured Ron and George's emotions perfectly, and to be honest, I'm surprised that you don't have more reviews. Really great. And the line about the tablespoon was very clever. Great read!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #5, by Weasley , rose As Brothers We Will Stand

11th September 2011:
I love it! Fred and George were my favorite characters and I wish to hear more!

Author's Response: Maybe I'll write something more with them someday! Thank you!

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Review #6, by Laura As Brothers We Will Stand

11th September 2011:
excellent, i think you should definetely continue

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is just a one-shot for now, but at some point I would like to write a Post-Hogwarts story.

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Review #7, by electricfeel As Brothers We Will Stand

7th September 2011:
This was absolutely brilliant. Truly. It was bittersweet and you captured the grief of George brilliantly. I think what I liked most about this, however, was Ron's handling of the situation. I think you were spot on in his characterisation. I can imagine Ron reacting exactly like this.

I also feel you managed to capture the rapport between the two brothers, even in their grief. It was very endearing and heartwarming, despite the tragedy of the subject matter.

"Ron knew how to handle Harry because, when he thought about it, they were basically two different halves that made up a whole person. Ron was just starting to tread into the murky waters of handling Hermione, and there were plenty of mishaps that proved he didn't have his bearings."

For some reason, I really liked this part. I think it was because I was partial to the little mentions of Hermione. Overall, though, the real strength in this one-shot was how realistic it was. I mean this in terms of the characterisation, the grief, the realities of the aftermath of the war, etc.

Fantastic writing :)

Author's Response: Goodness, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply to. Especially because you were so kind! I'm glad that the emotions I tried to get across were effective. Ron is one of those characters I'm never quite sure if I'm doing him right, so him being characterized well was really great to hear.

That's one of my favorite passages in the story too.

Thanks so much for your review! I appreciate it a lot!


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Review #8, by In The Shadows I Dwell As Brothers We Will Stand

5th September 2011:
Hi there!
InTheShadowsIDwell from the forums here with your review! I was also part of this challenge purely because of my love for Mumford & Sons, and I felt you captured the beauty of Timshel so perfectly! Just a warning, I tend to ramble a lot in my reviews, so I hope you don't mind! I particularly love the line you based this entire piece off as it is most definitely my favourite of the entire song, and your interpretation of it for this piece is simply astounding. I love how you've used in in a post-war situation between Ron and George, it works so well with the line you've chosen and is just so heartbreaking to read.

I also love the emotions you've captured here between the two brothers, the experience of losing a brother would have taken a toll on the relationships of the family and I felt you portrayed that really well in this one shot. I also love how you've managed to tie it all back to family as that was always one of those strong Weasley traits that I've always associated with them. I think it's the initial difficulty in this meeting which has me so impressed, I think it's realistic that they didn't just great each other with warm open arms, it's realistic that they'd be apprehensive and there'd be certainly a gap between them, so I found your portrayal not only of the situation, but the characters themselves excellent.

The writing of the piece itself was brilliant also, well written and flowing nicely, this piece was a wonderful read and I'm glad I was given the chance to review this! I always did have a soft spot for Weasley family fics...

Well done on such a lovely, (yet at the same time so heartbreaking) piece!

- In The Shadows I Dwell

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I have to say, I was a little surprised. I totally forgot I had posted in the review tag thread. I was secretly hoping someone would review my little one-shot.

I don't mind the rambling at all. :) At the time of the challenge I had just been converted to the ways of Mumford & Sons, so I was especially excited to write this. I don't normally do challenges or write things outside my main stories, which made me a little nervous.

I'm glad all the elements of my story pulled together for you. The Weasley family is one of my favorite group of characters in canon, but I've never really tried to write them in such focus. I was terribly afraid I was going to go overboard.

Anyways, thank you thank you! I really appreciate your thoughts. That scene where they meet is one of my favorites too. :)


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Review #9, by Dracos_Girl_Forever As Brothers We Will Stand

6th June 2011:
that was truely inspiring! :D

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #10, by Plata As Brothers We Will Stand

6th June 2011:
Superb! Beautifully gentle, if you know what I mean. It was a very enjoyable read. I take my hat off to you.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #11, by Victoria LH As Brothers We Will Stand

4th June 2011:
Good story with such a difficult time.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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