I love this story! Your a really good writer and I hope you continue! Theodore and Monica's relationship is original. I wonder if he found out out who her father was would he still be friends with her? Report Review
please keep it going its really good i love it!!! Report Review
good story :D please update soon 10/10Author's Response: I certainly will try! Christmas break is coming soon so who knows, maybe I'll get a few chapters finished. Report Review
rlly like it. Wat about another chapter? :pAuthor's Response: Soon I hope. Report Review
i really hoped that she would be a gryffindor but it was good cnt wait for the next chapterAuthor's Response: It wouldn't fit her personality at all. Despite how dark she seems, Laura is a friendly girl, and is extremely compassionate. I hope to show more of her personality as the story goes on!
Thanks for reviewing!
~Alex Report Review
This is psychee from the forums, leaving the review you have requested! :) Before I start to comment on the actual story, I would like to express my admiration for your beautiful banner. It's incredibly eye-catching and I couldn't help but admire it.
Having said that, I would like to say that I really like the whole concept of your story, your original character being Sirius's daughter. Even though there was nothing serious between him and Monica's mother, I like the fact that he left a daughter behind, even if I'm sure that he doesn't even know she exists. This is quite a twist - Monica's mother being a muggle, Sirius being involved with her and then leaving her without a word, having no idea that she was pregnant. I would love to find out how they met, their whole story.
This chapter also managed to raise a lot of questions: Does Dumbledore truly think that Sirius had nothing to do with James and Lily's death? Has he got any proof?
I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen next. The plot is intriguing and so different from all the Sirius-centered or Sirius had a child stories I have read. I'm glad you decided to request, because I had the opportunity to read such a promising story. I didn't notice any spelling/grammar or punctuation mistakes as I was reading this chapter but, then again, I'm not all that good at noticing those, unless they are too many and too serious to miss.
You asked if the story was interesting. For me, it was very interesting. The idea is fresh, the characters are interesting and realistic until now and the main plot leaves the reader wanting to come back for more. So you're off a good start.
Good luck with your future chapters! ^^
-psycheeAuthor's Response: I just want to say, thank you so much for this lengthy review! I absolutely love seeing them, and I am so glad I requested from you :)
It's good to hear that you find it interesting, I was trying hard to capture the reader and leave them with questions so that they wanted more.
The story between Monica's mother and Sirius is something I really love. I have actually written a one-shot about how they met, and I might post it later on. Or maybe incorporate it somehow. There is some history between them, but complicated.
And thanks about the banner, I honestly have to thank the designer on that one, SahiraLupin. I just told her what I wanted and she came back with that beautiful. Previously this story was in two parts, and the banner was used for the sequel, and I had another for the prequel. Out of the two I just had to use it.
Thank you so much for the fabulous review!
~Alex Report Review
Very very interesting start! Your request had me worried that I wouldn't even like this chapter, but I did.
I loved the initial awkwardness of Dumbledore catching her peeking out the window and just standing there. I have a lot of respect for her mom, working hard, coming home and having a strange man at her door talking about magic. And yet she somehow manages to not completely lose her composure. The news about Sirius had to have been distressing, but I'm interested in finding out what will happen with him. Dumbledore implied that Sirius was innocent, which makes me wonder if he's taking any steps to get him released.
In terms of the time frame, I feel like Monica will be close in age to Harry (maybe a year older/younger). I wonder how they'll get a long if they ever interact.
I love the wonder you capture in Monica's first exposure to magic! She seems bright, able to put together the pieces. I wonder what House she'll be sorted into.
I think you're off to a fabulous start, feel free to request again when you update! I'll keep reading as long as I can (no guarantees I'll keep going if it gets extremely dark/creepy).
~CrazyForYouAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Like I said, the warnings are for later and I think more for precaution. I'm always afraid to get in trouble with the tos!
Monica is in reality a year older (born 1979) but in the same year because her birthday is in late November meaning that she was not eleven before September 1st which would have put her in the year before. Originally I hadn't intended them to be in the same year, but I did not want to go any younger when it came to Sirius's age when Monica was conceived. Overall though I think that worked out anyway because I had a lot of characters to work with and room to grow as not all of the students were listed in Harry's year.
The first chapter (or second one as it would appear) is currently waiting to be validated. I will certainly let you know!
Thank you so much for the review :)
~Alex Report Review
Nice introduction. I'd like to see more.Author's Response: Thank you. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up shortly, it is in the editing stage. Thanks for the review, I do hope you read more!
~Alex Report Review
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